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Friendships Don't Just Happen!: The Guide to Creating a Meaningful Circle of GirlFriends

3.90  ·  Rating details ·  353 ratings  ·  60 reviews
This essential go-to guide reveals how women can enhance their lives by creating valuable friendships in today’s busy, mobile world, from nationally recognized friendship expert and CEO of

Every woman is searching for a happier, healthier, more fulfilling life. Many realize the significant role that an intimate, tightly knit circle of friends plays i
Paperback, 254 pages
Published February 12th 2013 by Turner (first published January 10th 2013)
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3.90  · 
Rating details
 ·  353 ratings  ·  60 reviews

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Jul 24, 2013 rated it really liked it
While a great reference chock full of easy to understand principles highlighted with stories and examples, it certainly hasn't made this journey any less awkward. I like that she comes right out and says that we have all of these resources in place for dating - finding dates, putting out a framework of who you are looking for, etc....but why is making friends as a grown up so tough? And, to be completely honest, some of her suggestions are straight up ridiculous - have an "I appreciate you" part ...more
Jun 30, 2013 rated it really liked it
After moving cross country 4 times over the last 5 years and being in the post-college world where it isn't as easy to meet people with common interested and see them consistently to build friendship, I've realized friendships certainly 'don't just happen', as the book title says, but that they play a big part my own health and happiness. This book is a good reference book (it sights many great studies and statistics about the role of friendship in our lives), it is a great resource (there are a ...more
I read the Kindle edition of this book and I was highlighting constantly! It is packed full of friendship wisdom and insight. I wish I had this information when I was younger! It's wonderful to finally know what a friendship is and what it isn't. Now I can't wait to start making some good friends!
May 03, 2014 rated it liked it
Interesting insights into the science of friendship, how people connect and how our relationships affect us... I wish the author didn't display such enormous biases (such as the automatic assumption that all friends will be of the same sex)
Rachel B
Mar 26, 2015 rated it liked it
I have to say, I was really looking forward to this book, and I was a little disappointed with it. The first half had some good information in it, but it seemed like everything was either 1.) Available on the blog, which means I've already read it, or 2.) taken straight from Rachel Bertsche's book "MWF Seeking BFF" (which I've obviously already read).

I also was a little disturbed by Nelson's perspective of faith. She claims to be a Christian (and was a pastor in the past), but there is a lot of
Havebooks Willread
Jan 27, 2014 rated it really liked it
I very much enjoyed this book.

Having said that, I must insert a disclaimer here that I don't agree with EVERYTHING in this book, and I'm quite certain I don't agree with all the author's life choices or beliefs. While she professes christianity of some sort, she appears to be a religious pluralist and I am not. I could write a couple paragraphs detailing this disclaimer, but overall I really did get a lot out of the book so I'll leave it to the discerning reader to read carefully on her own if s
Mar 10, 2019 rated it it was amazing
This book is well thought out and very informative. I have tagged various places through out the book for quick reference. I also really appreciate all of the research the author put in to the book, and like that I have additional books to gravitate towards for further reading.
Laura Glass
May 24, 2018 rated it it was amazing
I loved this book!! It took a while to read because it was so full of stuff I really needed to hear. My life and friendships will be all the better thanks to this!!
May 31, 2015 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: reviewed, books-i-own
Here is a summary of what the book is about. This essential go- to guide reveals how women can enhance their lives by creating valuable friendships in today's busy mobile world, from nationally recognized friendship expert and CEO of

Every woman is searching for a happier, healthier, more fulfilling life. Many realize the significant role that an intimate, tightly knit circle of friends plays in creating a more fulfilling life, but with hectic schedules,frequent moves, and
Jan 13, 2014 rated it really liked it
I have mixed feelings about this book, and to be honest, I didn't see it all the way through. On one hand, it has a very good message: as women, we need connection. We need the joy of female friendships and we need the validation of our thoughts and feeling as we push forward in what is still a very male world. What I also loved were the very practical aspects of Friendships Don't Just Happen! Nelson sets out a formula, gives structure to something that we all seem to think will happen naturally ...more
Jun 03, 2018 rated it it was amazing
Shelves: relationship

1. We desperately want to have others care about us.

2. We often stay in touch more consistently with acquaintances then we do with the women we consider our real friends.

3. Identifying the different types of friends will also clarify our understanding of what we can expect from them and how we might best move certain people into preferred categories.

4. Evaluate your friendships on the basis of the connection you actually have, not the one you hope to have.

5. No matter how many people
Dec 16, 2015 rated it really liked it
People and friendships of varying degrees drive me. I need to share, laugh, and discuss with other women. Without friendships I would wither up and slowly die.

Shasta Nelson has friends. She has shown herself friendly and has passed on what she has learned to the rest of us in this book.

Using a picture of friendship circles, the book navigates us through the varying levels of friendship connectedness and intimacy.
1. Contact 2. Common. 3. Confirmed
4. Community. 5. Committed

The key to feeling ful
Mar 19, 2014 rated it liked it
Shelves: read-in-2015
The subject matter was very interesting and it did inspire me to get out there and make new friends, but I also felt it was written in a way that didn't flow very well. There were lots of headings and subheadings and what seemed like sub subheadings that made me forget what the original point was. That said, I found it helpful.
Jennifer Louden
Jul 17, 2014 rated it liked it
Super useful guide to finding and making friends!!
Hannah Givens
Feb 15, 2018 rated it really liked it
Shelves: nonfiction, self-help
I went into this just to give it a skim and maybe pick up a few tips, but actually it was great and I'm planning to re-read it in full. It's got concrete, meaningful advice. The lists and steps make sense of a complicated topic, rather than being reductive or cutesy. There are tips both basic and creative, and Nelson understands not only the difficulties of circulating and meeting new people, but also how hard and intense it can be when you've had a friend for some time. She has advice for intro ...more
Daniela Beall
May 12, 2018 rated it liked it
For me the 5 circles of friendship framework helped me think about my relationships. It helped me identify why I was feeling disconnected, gave me a better appreciation for the different types of friendships that I experience, and a better approach for expanding and enriching my friendship circles.

While reading the book, I did not think it was necessary to draw a distinction between female and male friends, I found the advice and framework worked equally well when I thought about my friendships
May 21, 2018 rated it really liked it
A very thought provoking book. After reading portions of this book, you may find yourself saying, "Say what?!", "Me?", "Really?", "Seriously?". Like I said...very thought provoking. Men should read this book as well. Society gears men towards romance/sex, sports, finance, being a provider...what they truly, really need, are deep friendships. Men don't need to let anyone know, or admit to, reading this book. They just need to read it. It really opened my eyes & made me take a deeper look into ...more
Asia Benson
May 28, 2017 rated it it was amazing
great, read this in the midst of some really rough friendship issues, with a mentor! This book helped me focus on creating non-toxic positive strong friendships. I would definitely say I grew as a person through opening up and taking some of the advice of Nelson. Not only is it great advice but also a fun read, Shasta has a way of writing that is comical, comforting and wise all at the same time.
Merrill Medansky
Feb 22, 2019 rated it it was amazing
I highly recommend this to women of any age, and men as well who may be seeking more friends in their lives. There was not a wasted page. All useful information, practical examples, and a framework (five circles) that makes it easy to remember and understand the differences between the friendships we have in our lives.
Erianne Thedorf
Jan 01, 2018 rated it it was amazing
Shasta Nelson has lots of great insight and suggestions regarding your growth and relationships with women in this book. It’s insightful and extremely helpful to see how you are lacking in your different types of friends. At first I thought the title seemed a little cheesy, but I’m so glad that I read this book!
Feb 12, 2019 rated it really liked it
Shelves: self-help
4.25 stars.

I enjoyed reading this book. Even though most of Nelson’s insights are nothing I’ve never heard before, it’s nice to have it applied to friendship, a subject in which I feel there isn’t a lot of expertise.
Feb 15, 2019 rated it it was ok  ·  review of another edition
Lots of categories and checklists. Not very thoughtful overall. The idea that making and keeping friends is an active pursuit, not something that just happens, is probably the most valuable (only?) insight this book has to offer.
Pa Houa
Feb 25, 2018 rated it really liked it
This was a very good read. I wanted to figure out how to make more friends and the little equation helped me understand what and how to have good friends. Good friends equal= time, mutually wanting to spend time with each other, sharing good and positive stories/vibes, and consistent.
Very interesting and practical book on building and maintaining healthy friendships. The author shares a wealth of experience and scenarios in addition to research and skill building models. Definitely consider this a valuable resource.
Jennifer Jones
Nov 26, 2017 rated it it was amazing
This book was just what I needed. I recently moved to a new city and was missing having a circle of girlfriends. This book gave me actionable advice to start building a circle and it has paid off quickly. Every woman should read this, no matter her stage of life.
Apr 03, 2018 rated it really liked it
This book was encouraging, analytical, and practical. I may upgrade to five stars if the advice proves successful. I found the first two thirds or so more helpful than the final section.
Aug 02, 2017 rated it it was amazing
Love this book. I did not think I benefited from it right after I read it. Later on as my friendships blossomed, though, I realized how helpful it was as a tool when facing challenges.
Aug 25, 2018 rated it really liked it
Shelves: 2018
I highly recommend this to all women! The only reason I gave it a 4 instead of a 5 was that some parts were repetitive.

Tara Choate
Jan 26, 2019 rated it liked it
This book had a lot of good information and research. Maybe just a touch heavy on quantifying "where" people are in life, but it's a good starter kit.
Nov 28, 2018 rated it it was amazing
I suspect this is very basic for the socially ept, but I found lots of actionable content.
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