Goodreads helps you keep track of books you want to read.
Start by marking “The Onesies: Fall (Totlandia, #1)” as Want to Read:
The Onesies: Fall (Totlandia, #1)
Enlarge cover
Rate this book
Clear rating
Open Preview

The Onesies: Fall (Totlandia #1)

3.25  ·  Rating details ·  1,713 Ratings  ·  181 Reviews
The Pacific Heights Moms & Tots Club is the most exclusive children’s playgroup in all of San Francisco. For the city’s ultra-competitive elite, the club’s ten annual spots are the ultimate parenting prize.

But not everyone is PHM&TC material. The club's founder, Bettina Connaught Cross, adheres to strict membership rules: Moms only. No single parents or working mot
Kindle Edition, 200 pages
Published September 2012 by Signal Press
More Details... edit details

Friend Reviews

To see what your friends thought of this book, please sign up.

Community Reviews

(showing 1-30)
Rating details
Sort: Default
Josie Brown
Jul 22, 2012 rated it it was amazing  ·  (Review from the author)
Dear Readers,

The idea for TOTLANDIA came to me during my tour for THE BABY PLANNER. All over the country, real baby planners hosted reading parties, where I met many of the readers who were members of moms-and-tots groups. It was a joy to watch these sweet, wonderful women (and their children) laugh and play together.

I realized what I was watching was the start of some life-long friendships.

In TOTLANDIA, four women--Lorna, Ally, Jillian, and Jade--forge new friendships in the most awkward of si
Marci Lambert
Oct 07, 2015 rated it did not like it  ·  review of another edition
oh. em. gee. i think this may be the worst book i've ever read. while i prefer to read literary fiction, i'm not above the occasional palette-cleansing lighter fare. i will totally admit i love the Shopaholic series because i find them entertaining and easy to read. but this book. ugh. first, the plot *could* be compelling: Bay Area moms competing for a spot in a high society play group. but instead, the people are so unbelievable and two-dimensional. second, while the majority of the book is pr ...more
Oct 06, 2014 rated it it was amazing
Shelves: reviewed-2014
I’ve had this on my Kindle for quite some time, and now, looking back, I wonder why I haven’t read it sooner! I could’ve been so much further into this delightful series, and also, it was such an amazingly quick read I finished it in one night! Maybe it just felt like a quick read because I devoured it and simply couldn’t put down my Kindle long enough to focus on anything else.

OK, well, I don’t have much to say. It’s pretty standard chick lit. “Pretty standard” for me – when it comes to chick
Sep 17, 2012 rated it it was amazing
I loved it. A really fun, funny, and fast read. Full of drama that kept me quickly clicking through the pages.

It's a story of women trying to get into the most selective mom & tots club in San Francisco, and of the women who are already reigning over the club. So as you can imagine, a lot of personalities clash, and everyone has their own little secret they are trying desperately to hide from the other Mommies.

This is definitely my favorite Josie Brown book (next to The Baby Planner). I LO
Sheila Carsins
Mar 23, 2015 rated it it was ok
Where's the ending?

Definitely a downer, the ending is missing. The title includes the words "Book 1," which should indicate a book series, not the first half, of a two parter, of which the second part is missing. I am deeply disappointed with the lack of an ending that would've allowed this book to stand alone, and wrapped up the question of which woman's car was parked in the driveway while the lady of the house was in a meeting elsewhere, and what's mystery lady doing there, and is the husband
Sep 02, 2013 rated it liked it
Really surprisingly good book. It was free on Amazon and I thought I'd give it a try. Well worth the read and a SOLID 3.5 stars
Elizabeth Ray
Mar 09, 2015 rated it really liked it
I was surprised at how much I enjoyed this story! Four parents are desperately trying to get into the exclusive Pacific Heights Mom and Tots Club to get their children started off to a good future. However, each of the parents have a secret that could keep them from getting into the club. Bettina leads the club and she has stringent rules- no working moms, no single parents, no scandals, or rule-breaking.

Jade has a scandalous past and is being paid by her ex-husband to play mommy to her son, Ol
Melonie Kydd
As a part of my reading challenge to myself, I have choosen the genre of Chick Lit as my blog review topic.

I came across a book titled “Totlandia: Onsies:Fall” by Josie Brown. ©2012

This is a really cute book which has some realistic characters that have an air of coolness and inner turmoil in them. The author created a good mix of elements in their personalities and lifestyles. I liked that she addressed briefly the element of Autism in one of thr children (this topic is close to home as my be
Samantha March
Dec 16, 2012 rated it it was amazing
I received a copy of Totlandia: The Onesies in exchange for an honest review. I am a big fan of Josie Brown, so of course I was excited to break into her new novella series. I am also getting ready to start The Twosies here shortly, and can’t wait to pick back up! The Onesies introduces readers to the The Pacific Heights Moms & Tots Club, which is the most exclusive children’s playgroup in San Fran. It has come time to select new members for the group, but not just everyone is considered. On ...more
Nov 04, 2012 rated it really liked it
There are all those hit TV shows like Dance Moms or Toddlers and Tiaras and I never really got the appeal. After reading Totlandia by Josie Brown, I think I finally see it. For folks who love shows such as those or just a really great story that has a ton of humor mixed in, Totlandia is the book for you!

The storyline was so easy to get caught up in. Right away, Josie Brown hooks readers and she doesn't let go til the last page. I got so involved in each character's story and was right alongside
★ℕłℂØℓҾ★ (Nix)
This is one of those times where I felt like I was going to hate most of the characters because they could be so selfish and uncaring. I'm someone who believes in helping others and going out of my way to make life easier for people around me, and it kills me when some people can't even provide common courtesies for others. Life is hard enough. The least people can do is try to be kind to one another.

But then I actually quite liked most of the main characters! I felt the most sad for Jillian. H
Do not proceed if you either liked this book or cannot handle honesty and criticism.

This book tried so hard to be fun. But then it ended up being dumb.

Main characters are just a bunch of shallow socialites wanting to get in a "cool" baby club. Seriously? They are obsessed with getting in this "cool" club because it will open opportunities for their babies (which I bet are about to be majorly spoiled). That club ain't gonna do shit for their future if these parents are going to coddle their kids
Jun 09, 2014 rated it really liked it
Stumbled onto this by accident and thoroughly enjoyed it. Some may consider it "fluffy" but anyone who has ever had to deal with the politics of PTA and sports prepared to snicker aloud. Great book to simply enjoy.
Jul 10, 2016 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
If you are looking for a book that is a quick read and fluff, then this book is really good.
Aug 01, 2015 rated it liked it
Fun fluff read!
Lisa  Keegan
it was free. it was silly. I couldn't live like that but I want to see how it all ends
Short, easy read that makes me glad I'm not in that class of people. I am curious to what happens to some of the characters, so I'll probably continue with the series.
Goodreads Description- The Pacific Heights Moms & Tots Club is the most exclusive children’s playgroup in all of San Francisco. For the city’s ultra-competitive elite, the club’s ten annual spots are the ultimate parenting prize.

But not everyone is PHM&TC material. The club's founder, Bettina Connaught Cross, adheres to strict membership rules: Moms only. No single parents or working mothers allowed. Membership is an arduous commitment. And there’s no room in the club for scandal, bad be
Mary (BookHounds)
Aug 25, 2012 rated it it was amazing

Welcome to the world of Momolotics, where being a mom is regarded as a political endeavor. Who knew that joining a mom and tot group would be so strife with maneuvers worthy of a presidential campaign? We are introduced to Lorna, mother of a lovely toddler, that is slow in developing and her sister in law, Bettina, who heads up the premier mommy group in a ritzy area of San Francisco. Bettina seems to derive much joy in making these mothers jump though a multitude o
Dec 16, 2012 rated it really liked it
This is fun type of "book" - actually it's been done before by the likes of Charles Dickens and other great authors. But they did their serial storytelling by sending in chapters to newspapers keeping their readers on the edge of their seats waiting for the next installment. This is how A Christmas Carol was initially published.

Totlandia tells the tale of an exclusive Moms and Tots playgroup where the children who get in ....have parents who want the best for them and are willing to go to any le
May 08, 2014 rated it it was ok
Reasonably good writing, but I just couldn't enjoy a book in which I hated virtually every character. Jillian I felt sorry for - cheating is pretty shitty, but it's especially shitty to cheat on the wife that gave everything up for you while she raises your young children, and leave her and said children with virtually nothing while you run off with someone else. So yeah, I felt sorry for her. I could understand Brady's desire to give his child 'everything he never had' (give me a break, he was ...more
Kimmel Tippets
Nov 19, 2012 rated it really liked it
I must say, right from the first page Totlandia made me laugh at some of the predicaments that mother’s are placed in when they are dealing with a one year old. As a mother of three, I could empathize with Lorna as she chased a diaper through the park and was forced to haggle with a spoiled four year old.
And on the other hand, I shed a few tears as Jillian’s world falls apart around her and she can barely hold the pieces together for her daughters.
The author did an amazing job at giving each cha
Jun 29, 2013 rated it really liked it
I'll be honest - this was a recommendation from Amazon, and because it was free, I decided to give it a try. I read the description and as a veteran of The Mommy Wars (not the book, the real ones :)), I wasn't sure it would be for me. I will now happily admit that my instincts were wrong! I loved this book from start to finish, read it in a day, and have already purchased book 2 and book 3 because I can't wait to see what happens! It was funny, charming, and REAL.

I could identify with some aspe
Carrie Ardoin
In the world of Totlandia, AKA the Pacific Heights Mom & Tots Club, privileged children and their mommies can meet for playdates, parties, and much more. But don't be fooled, this is no easygoing mommy & me group--this club is near impossible to break into, and the president, Bettina, rules with an iron fist.

But even (or rather, especially) in this high-income, flashy world, everyone has a secret to keep. And knowing someone's secret could mean taking their spot in the club. After all, w
Feb 08, 2015 rated it really liked it
Shelves: trashy
Lifestyles of the .01% It has been over a 1/4 of a century since I did 'playgroup' and certainly never at this level "The Pacific Heights Moms & Tots Club is the most exclusive children's playgroup in all of San Francisco. But not everyone is PHM&TC material. For the city's ultra-competitive elite, the club's ten annual spots are the ultimate parenting prize."

We meet the 6 children competing for the four slots. Each parent has something to hide that will exclude them or their child. And
Jennifer Ko
Jan 03, 2013 rated it it was amazing
I first discovered Josie when I read "True Hollywood Lies" (which I could not put down). I'm not a mom but I picked up the Totlandia series because I love Josie's writing and Totlandia definitely does NOT disappoint. It's a good, fun read - the dialogue is entertaining and funny and the characters are relatable, most are likable, and all have a depth to them that is hard to accomplish in a page turner. I definitely find myself having favorites. For anyone worried about the reviews saying that th ...more
Dee Haddrill
I have no idea why I waited so long to read this book! Not having ever been a mother, I usually don't have much interest in books about babies, baby groups, etc, but I should have known better than to think I wouldn't like something written by Josie Brown (her Housewife Assassin series is one of my favourites).

Reading this book was like watching one of those trainwreck reality shows with insane mothers competing through their children. While the book was funny, my heart was breaking at how Jill
Leslie Hayden
Apr 14, 2013 rated it really liked it
Shelves: total-books-read
I liked the first installment of the book and will continue reading the second installment. I can't honestly say I wasn't disappointed in some of the characters, especially Bettina who is using her name and her clout to get what she wants and treat people like they're beneath her. It was sad to hear the news of Dante, however I think things will work out. As far as the "discretions" with Ally's husband, if this were real life I would have punched him myself and it wouldn't have been in his face. ...more
Aug 06, 2015 rated it it was ok
Shelves: kindle
The story of an exclusive play group for kids ages one through five. Every year there are only ten spots to fill. In the onsies group, there are six hopefuls but only four spots. This year, the founders decided to have a series of challenges for the moms trying to get in. Every three months one will be dropped until the spots are filled. I might have given this book a "3" but for the fact that there is a cliff-hanger ending, thereby forcing you to buy the next book if you want to know what happe ...more
Christine Gossard
Jun 13, 2013 rated it liked it
This is such a quick read. Even with a 9 month old, it took me about 4 hours. It's a story about ridiculously wealthy mom's in a prestigious mommy group. It makes you thankful for not being a crazy mom who will do anything to get your child to the top, including ridiculing, hazing and torturing other people, spending outrageous amounts of money on things a baby doesn't need and worrying about what other people think of you. It's a great indulgent story, and made me thankful to return to real lif ...more
« previous 1 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 next »
There are no discussion topics on this book yet. Be the first to start one »
  • Momfriends (Momfriends #1)
  • A Heat Of The Moment Thing
  • When Girlfriends Step Up (When Girlfriends, #2)
  • Pursuing the Times
  • One Day, Someday
  • The Green Ticket
  • The Secret's in the Sauce (Potluck Catering Club #1)
  • My Life on Craigslist: A Fictitious Diary
  • Remember This
  • Lauren Takes Leave
  • The Queen Gene
  • Soft Case: A John Keegan Mystery
  • Bella
  • Baking Bree
  • The Not So Secret Emails Of Coco Pinchard (Coco Pinchard, #1)
  • My Favorite Husband (Romantic Comedy Duo, #1)
  • Private Air
  • Deep Fried and Pickled (The Rachael O'Brien Chronicles #1)
I'm the author of these novels:

The Housewife Assassin Novel Series, including

The Housewife Assassin's Deadly Dossier (Prequel) [June 2014, Signal Press]

The Housewife Assassin's Handbook (Book 1)
[2011, Signal Press]

The Housewife Assassin's Guide to Gracious Killing (Book 2)
[2012, Signal Press]

The Housewife Assassin's Killer Christmas Tips (Book 3)
[2012, Signal Press]

The Housewife Assassin's Rela
More about Josie Brown

Other books in the series

Totlandia (5 books)
  • The Onesies: Winter (Totlandia, #2)
  • The Onesies: Spring (Totlandia #3)
  • The Onesies: Summer (Totlandia #4)
  • The Twosies: Fall (Totlandia #5)

Fiction Deals

  • Mercy Among the Children
    $14.99 $1.99
  • Darkness There: Selected Tales by Edgar Allan Poe [Kindle in Motion]
    $1.99 $0.99
  • An Empty Cup
    $3.99 $1.99
  • I Like You Just Fine When You're Not Around
    $4.99 $1.99
  • Abby's Journey
    $4.99 $1.99
  • The Underground River
    $12.99 $2.99
  • The Word Game
    $4.99 $1.99
  • Fraulein M.
    $4.99 $1.99
  • The Lost Girls of Camp Forevermore
    $11.99 $2.99
  • Sister of Mine
    $3.99 $1.99
  • Bury What We Cannot Take
    $5.99 $2.99
  • Chomp
    $6.99 $1.99
  • Searching for Grace Kelly
    $15.99 $1.99
  • Bricking It
    $3.99 $1.99
  • The Fifth of March: A Story of the Boston Massacre (Great Episodes)
    $8.99 $2.99
  • Starfish
    $10.99 $1.99
  • Thunder and Rain
    $9.99 $2.99
  • All Grown Up
    $9.99 $2.99
  • The Light of Hidden Flowers
    $4.99 $1.99
  • Olive's Ocean
    $6.99 $1.99
  • Ecstasy
    $13.99 $1.99
  • The Elephant Keeper's Daughter
    $5.99 $2.99
  • The Virtues of Oxygen
    $3.99 $1.99
  • Home to Harmony (Harmony #1)
    $11.14 $1.99
  • Dog Crazy
    $7.99 $1.99
  • The Towers of Tuscany
    $3.99 $1.99
  • The Noticer: Sometimes, all a person needs is a little perspective
    $9.99 $2.99
  • Who We Were Before
    $4.99 $1.99
  • The Reluctant Midwife (Hope River, #2)
    $10.49 $1.99
  • Sin No More (Reverend Curtis Black)
    $10.39 $1.99
  • The List
    $7.99 $2.99
  • Lost & Found
    $5.74 $1.99
  • A Watershed Year
    $3.99 $0.99
  • Savage
    $3.99 $1.99
  • The Designer
    $4.99 $1.99
  • The Novice: A Story of True Love
    $10.74 $1.99
  • Go Away Home
    $3.99 $1.99
  • The Leaving of Things
    $4.49 $1.99
  • Train I Ride
    $6.99 $1.99
  • The Weight of Ink
    $10.99 $2.99
  • We'll Always Have Paris: Stories
    $9.99 $1.99
  • The Hidden Flower
    $9.99 $1.99
  • Greyhound
    $3.99 $0.99
  • Take Two (Above the Line, #2)
    $7.99 $1.99
  • The Heart Mender: A Story of Second Chances
    $9.99 $1.99
  • Lisette's List
    $11.99 $1.99
  • This Burns My Heart
    $10.99 $1.99
  • The Journeys of Socrates
    $10.99 $1.99
  • Annie on My Mind
    $9.99 $1.99
  • An Absent Mind
    $4.49 $1.99
  • The Book of Ruth
    $18.99 $1.99
  • Smoke
    $4.99 $1.99
  • Where We Belong
    $5.99 $1.49
  • Cashelmara
    $14.99 $1.99
  • Dumplin' (Dumplin', #1)
    $7.99 $1.99
  • The Sisterhood of Blackberry Corner
    $7.99 $1.99
  • Digging In
    $5.99 $2.99
  • The Confessions of Catherine de Medici
    $11.99 $12.99
  • The Traveling Vampire Show
    $3.99 $0.99
  • The Long Way Home
    $3.99 $1.99
  • Going Home
    $3.99 $1.99
  • The Girl in the Glass
    $9.99 $1.99
  • Prayers and Lies
    $14.99 $1.99
  • Go the F**k to Sleep
    $8.99 $1.99
  • Fat Chance
    $3.99 $1.99
  • Just a Couple of Days
    $17.99 $1.99
  • The Boleyn Inheritance (The Tudor Court, #3)
    $12.99 $2.99
  • The Daughter of Union County
    $4.99 $1.99
  • The Fighting Ground
    $6.49 $1.99
  • The Sugar Men
    $3.99 $1.99
  • The Last Storyteller: A Novel Of Ireland
    $11.99 $1.99
  • The Sleepwalker's Guide to Dancing
    $5.99 $1.99
  • Vengeance Road
    $9.99 $2.99
  • Ungifted
    $7.99 $1.99
  • Julie of the Wolves
    $6.99 $1.99
  • Mrs. Saint and the Defectives
    $4.99 $1.99
  • Stiltsville: A Novel
    $10.99 $1.99
  • To the Bright Edge of the World
    $11.99 $2.99
  • The Patriots
    $11.99 $1.99
  • The Flicker of Old Dreams
    $9.99 $1.99
  • All the Good Parts
    $3.99 $1.99
  • The Food of Love
    $3.99 $1.99
  • A Scattered Life
    $3.99 $1.99
  • Every Ugly Word
    $3.99 $1.99
  • A Memory of Violets: A Novel of London's Flower Sellers
    $11.99 $1.99
  • Desert God (Ancient Egypt, #5)
    $9.99 $1.99
  • Bloody Jack: Being an Account of the Curious Adventures of Mary "Jacky" Faber, Ship's Boy (Bloody Jack, #1)
    $8.99 $2.99
  • The Woman Who Breathed Two Worlds (Malayan #1)
    $3.99 $1.99
  • An Amish Buggy Ride
    $4.99 $1.99
  • Old Yeller
    $6.99 $1.99
  • The Secret Healer (The Secret Healer #1)
    $3.49 $0.99
  • Elizabeth Street
    $4.99 $1.99
  • The Unkillable Kitty O'Kane
    $4.99 $1.99
  • It Is Well
    $4.99 $1.99
  • A Sinful Calling (Reverend Curtis Black #13)
    $9.99 $2.99
  • On a Cold Dark Sea
    $4.99 $1.99
  • My Lady Viper (Tales from the Tudor Court #1)
    $4.99 $1.99
  • Kings of Broken Things
    $4.99 $1.99
  • Edward Adrift
    $4.49 $1.99
  • The Restaurant Critic's Wife
    $3.99 $1.99