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I Kill Me: Tales of A Jilted Hypochondriac

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3.52  ·  Rating details ·  260 Ratings  ·  63 Reviews
*I KILL ME is intended for an adult audience*

Christine Bacon has a fatal attraction. To all things fatal. A veteran hypochondriac, her near-death experiences are exacerbated when her husband proposes they have a menage a trois with Eleanor, his busty British massage therapist, to "shake things up." Christine reluctantly agrees (although she is more wholesome than threesome
...more
Kindle Edition, 256 pages
Published July 26th 2012 by Black Dog Publishing (first published July 15th 2012)
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Yawatta Hosby
Jan 21, 2013 rated it it was amazing
I loved this 32 chapter book. It was told through Christine’s first person point-of-view. The opening sentence: “I could think of two big reasons why this threesome wasn’t going to work: her boobs,” piqued my attention right away. That scene was the most awkward thing I’ve ever read (in a good way) LOL. The husband wanted his wife and massage therapist at the same time. He and the massage therapist had already went over all the sensual details, so this was planned well in advance. Eventually, Ri ...more
Lisa
Dec 28, 2012 rated it really liked it
* Originally posted on Lost in Literature.

Hilarious. That's the perfect word to explain this story. I didn't expect it to be as funny as it was, but I was giggling so much my husband actually asked me what I was reading. Now, for those of you who don't know my husband, that's not a common thing to come out of his mouth. Honestly, my books are the last thing he normally wants to hear about. But I used his question as him "opening the door" to me gushing about my book. Great thinkin' on my part, h
...more
Jessica  Sinn (Books and Trouble)
Christine Bacon is a 40-something school teacher who is obsessed with deadly diseases. No sneeze, bump, itch or cough goes undetected – and her doctors are making a pretty penny off of her weekly visits. Geez – this poor woman must have to take out a second mortgage just to afford all those co-pays!

Her anxiety goes into overdrive when her husband insists on “shaking things up” by having a threesome with his boobaliscious message therapist. Shortly after the ill-fated tryst, her marriage to Richa
...more
Becky Sherriff
Sep 21, 2012 rated it it was amazing
This book is a fantastic read.

Christine is married to Richard and has two daughters. She lives an ordinary life except for the fact that she is a Hypochondriac. The story begins with Christine's attempt at a threesome after being coaxed into this by her husband, this doesn't go so well. Not long after her husband leaves her and this is where Christine's journey begins. I won't give anymore away but this is a thoroughly engaging story.

The author addresses the reality of being a Hypochondriac wit
...more
Gitte TotallyBookedBlog
*I was sent an ARC by the Author for an honest and unbiased review.*

3.5 stars

This was a well written story about love, betrayal and how we surround ourselves with a self-protection shield and adopt specific coping mechanisms to guard ourselves from being hurt by others. How we place emphasis on something else, no matter how irrational, in order to ignore the reality of what we should be dealing with. It had me laughing out loud at times and cringing the next.

This story is about Christine, who en
...more
Janna Mashburn
Sep 11, 2012 rated it really liked it
This book was such a refreshing and hilarious read! I was in the mood for comic relief with a litte side of drama and this book delivered! I was hooked from the first sentence, and my stomach was in knots by the second chapter.

This book is written from Christine's POV, she's a high school teacher, mother of two and on the verge of a divorce. Christine has another personal struggle she endures while facing these life challenges; she's a hypochondriac. She's not your normal hypocondriac, this wom
...more
Angela Mclaurin
Sep 11, 2012 rated it really liked it
Hilarious! I loved every part of this book! Although I'm not a hypochondriac (my husband may disagree) I can totally relate to all of Chris's crazy notions. It was a humorous journey following a husband's mid-life crisis and the messy divorce that follows. There was a happy ending, too! This was a great pick-me-up following some of the more dark and emotional reads lately. You will love this one ;)
Holly
Aug 01, 2012 rated it it was amazing
Shelves: favourites, 2012
I loved this. It's fantastically written and along with Christine's obsession (and impressive mental catalogue) of all diseases fatal, it's hilarious, incredibly witty and also real - she faces heartbreak and we get to see her begin to heal and move on, in the funniest ways possible!!

Strongly recommend and look forward to anything else from this author
Tracy Tucker
Jan 08, 2013 rated it it was amazing  ·  (Review from the author)
Wasn't planning on rating this, but after seeing a lot of authors rate their own books, I was feeling kind of like the mother who dumps her child in the middle of the jungle and walks away :).
Holly
Aug 01, 2012 rated it it was amazing
Funny, well written, engaging... At one point I laughed so hard, I spit all over the page! I guess I shouldn't lend my copy to someone else...
Lynn Seppala
Jun 11, 2013 rated it really liked it
Totally made me giggle!! Loved it!!
Connie N.
The concept sounded good--each chapter was headed by a type of illness, but they could each be interpreted with a second meaning, such as "Rash" or "Flutters" or "Growth." And our hypochondriac main character would suspect she had that type of illness, but at the same time, the author related her actions to the alternate meaning of the word. But what really happened is that the first few chapters were mildly amusing when Christine would feel a random symptom, then immediately call her doctor or ...more
Matt Schiariti
Nov 14, 2012 rated it it was amazing
Christine Bacon leads a pretty fulfilling life. Married to the same man for over a decade, she's mother to two wonderful daughters and teaches middle school English. She's comfortable in her life and, on the surface, everything seems to be going swimmingly. That is until her husband suggests a threesome with his massage therapist. Being the thoughtful wife she is (that's just how she rolls) she decides to go along with it. When the menage a trois goes awry, she realizes that her happy marriage w ...more
Casee Marie
Sep 16, 2012 rated it it was amazing
Christine Bacon lives a normal life; a high school English teacher, she’s married to her high school sweetheart with two children and a duo of pets. The abnormality of her life comes from her penchant for death: Christine is a hypochondriac, and a committed one. In the age of technology Christine’s fearful conclusion-jumping is given a satisfyingly in-depth boost, allowing her to uncover the worst case scenarios behind every bump and tingle she experiences in her day-to-day with just the click o ...more
Kimberly
Aug 13, 2012 rated it really liked it
I usually don't pick up books like this on my own, as I generally don't tend to gravitate toward contemporary women's lit. Apparently I've been missing out if there are authors like this one writing with us gals in mind. So, thanks Tracy H. Tucker for broadening my horizons and sending me this book for review -- what a blast!

Christine is your typical mom, wife and friend with one exception: Every little tic, bump, muscle spasm or even zit is her potential death, in her mind anyway. The author ta
...more
Kim
Jul 06, 2013 rated it liked it
Synopsis:
Christine Bacon had plenty to worry about in her everyday, run-of-the-mill type of life. With her job as a teacher, her insurance selling husband and two girls, there was plenty to worry about - and then some since she's also a hypochondriac. Every little bump, bruise, mole, cough - it all is a small piece of a much larger, more terrifying puzzle that will ultimately lead to her death. Or so she believes.

Stepping out of her comfort zone in order to keep her world together, Christine dec
...more
Meg
Nov 28, 2012 rated it really liked it
Tracy H. Tucker’s I Kill Me: Tales of a Jilted Hypochondriac is a funny, compulsively readable look at one woman's attempt to piece her life back together one diagnosis at a time. Well-written and engaging, Tucker’s quick read had me hooked after perusing the cringe-worthy first chapter. Since I’ve been in the mood for light reading, I Kill Me arrived at just the right time.

The star of Tucker’s show is undoubtedly narrator Christine. I bonded with her immediately, seeing traces of myself in her
...more
Tami
Breathlessness, irregular heartbeats, dizziness, and lightheadedness…must be Cardiomyopathy! Or, it could just be a mixture of the all the emotions I was feeling while reading this book. I was smiling at the humor while feeling as if my heart was in a vice the whole way through. There were so many questions that ran through my mind. How could a husband ask his wife to do such a thing? Can you REALLY ever know someone? Can one person change so drastically that you can’t even recognize them? Final ...more
Lydia Laceby
Dec 27, 2012 rated it it was amazing
Shelves: chick-lit, hilarous

Originally reviewed at Novel Escapes

I loved I Kill Me – Tales of a Jilted Hypochondriac. It was cute, witty and ridiculously funny. I read this novel in a few short sittings and couldn’t get enough of this amusing tale and it wasn’t as heavy as it might seem from the title, which was a nice surprise.

I was initially leery to read about a hypochondriac, worried it would be bogged down with medical jargon and depressing material. But I worried needlessly as this novel had the good balance and there
...more
Sara Palacios
Jan 28, 2013 rated it it was amazing
I received a copy of I Kill Me: Tales of A Jilted Hypochondriac by Tracy H. Tucker via CLP Blog Tours.

Christine Bacon is your typical mom, wife and friend … but with a fatal attraction. To all things fatal. Every bump, bruise, scratch, muscle rumble or zit is a gateway to her death, well, in her mind at least. A veteran hypochondriac, her near-death experiences are exacerbated when her husband proposes they have a menage a trois with Eleanor, his busty British massage therapist, to “shake things
...more
Amy Metz
Nov 20, 2012 rated it it was amazing
Maybe it’s because I could relate to the main character, Christine, with her hypochondria and overbearing Mother, or maybe it’s because I love to laugh, and this book provides plenty of laugh out loud moments, or maybe it’s because I like a good contemporary love story, or maybe it’s all of the above…but I loved Tracy Tucker’s I Kill Me.

Ms. Tucker takes us inside the head of a forty-something wife whose husband has just left her. To make matters worse, with every bump, scrape, or you name it sym
...more
Ellen (more books, please)
I am truly amazed at how much I enjoyed this book. It was well written, well edited and well done. Our heroine is a hypochondriac, a really good hypochondriac. She can go from a sore throat to lymphoma in 15 seconds. What she didn't have a sense of was just how unhealthy her marriage was.
The opening pages of this book are truly memorable. I won't spoil it. But with these opening pages, the reader knows the cancer has taken a firm hold of the marriage and there will be no remission.

This book fol
...more
Tavin
Sep 26, 2012 rated it really liked it
“I Kill Me” by Tracy Tucker was a fascinating read that I pretty much devoured this past Sunday as I had a difficult time putting it down. The story is one we’ve seen before – a wife is surprised by her husband’s sudden decision to leave her and has to pick up the pieces of her newly single life while still trying to keep it together for her children and at work. The main character, Christine, though made all the difference. She had the expected range of emotions – anger, pain, loss etc but when ...more
Anne Wingate
Sep 25, 2012 rated it it was amazing
I Kill Me: Tales of a Jilted Hypochondriac
By Tracy H. Tucker
Publisher: CreateSpace ISBN 9781478236740
I bought this book.

This is the story of a high school teacher whose husband of 19 years first wants her to join him and his masseuse in a ménage a trois. When she first, reluctantly, consents and then backs out, he leaves her, and his conduct after he moves out is not charming. But the book itself is hilariously funny, made so by the voice of the lead character and the predicaments she gets herse
...more
Brenda Knight
Nov 16, 2012 rated it really liked it
I received a copy of this book from the author, Tracy H. Tucker, in exchange for an honest review. I had no prior knowledege of, or association with Ms. Tucker or her writing until we connected on-line for the purpose stated above.
I really enjoyed this book. I totally connected with Christine and felt her pain. I could easily become a hypochondriac if I set my common sense aside. I have to say that my favorite part of the book was the ending. Not because it was finished, but because of Christine
...more
Thomas
Aug 19, 2012 rated it it was amazing
I Kill Me was recommended to me by several friends and, at first, I was hesitant since I'm more of a nonfiction/historical fiction type of guy, but after reading the first few pages I was pleasantly surprised. Ms. Tucker did a fantastic job speaking directly to the reader which made it easy for me to engage with the plot and make connections with the characters. This book is full of humor, wit, and most importantly, strong writing. I actually couldn't believe this was Ms. Tucker's first book. Th ...more
Melissa Brown
Sep 22, 2012 rated it really liked it
I thoroughly enjoyed this book. It was witty, sharp and funny yet unbelievably heartbreaking at times. My stomach was literally in knots during certain parts of the story. The main character was real and easy to relate to. The author did a fantastic job of telling a story about starting over even when you really don't want to.

**************
SPOILER ALERT:
I was happy that the ending wasn't wrapped up in a bow---I was worried that she and Adidas would have had a convenient ending, and I was so hap
...more
Christy
Apr 11, 2013 rated it really liked it
Fun, light read (finished in an evening). There are some great one liners in this book, and I found myself laughing out loud several times. Yes, the whole "hypochondriac" thing does get a bit tiring at times, but sometimes you can't help but smile. I'm sure we've all taken some minor cut or pain and turned it into a life threatening illness thanks to the internet.

Christine, the main character, is not always strong, she gets mad and yells, she cries at the drop of a hat...she's a real person. She
...more
Nicole Pope
Nov 07, 2012 rated it it was amazing
Shelves: favorite-indies
It has been awhile since I read a book like this - not only the genre but a book this good! I am so pleasantly surprised. The characters were very well developed, the story line was strong, it contained a nice balance of humor and drama, and the ending was satisfying. It is rare that a book makes me laugh aloud and there were a few times were Christine really cracked me up. At first, I found her annoying but I grew to really like her. The book was smart and sassy, it was mature without beng raun ...more
Krystle *K&M's Book Haven*
Nov 14, 2012 rated it really liked it
I enjoyed this book a lot. There were a few times that I got annoyed with it and said to myself, "Enough with this hypochondria crap!" But I continued on reading and found myself smiling over a different part of the story. When I was 99% done with the book I was torn on whether to rate the book 3 or 4 stars...There were parts of the book that were a definite 4 for me and others that were definitely closer to a 3...BUT THEN I read the last 4 paragraph, laughed out loud & my decision was made. ...more
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Making Connections: She isn't a doctor...but she plays one on the internet 4 18 Aug 12, 2012 03:43PM  
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Tracy H. Tucker is first and foremost the mother of three of the best people on Earth. She has a Master's in Literacy from the University of Maine and has inspired the youth of America for seventeen years. She's an avid animal lover and would like to publicly thank her husband for putting up with the pet hair, the dogs in the bed, the things the cats hack up and the repeated requests for goats. It ...more
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“If my ex-husband could move on, I could, too. I would search for my gardener, someone who would help me to grow and bloom, but who would recognize the fragility of a new flower just starting to poke out of the ground.

If I was lucky, he’d have a long cultivator.”
9 likes
“I felt myself begin to slide down into that recognizable abyss, down and down, where I knew it would be cold and dark, but which had become more familiar to me than my face in the mirror. I knew I should instead be grateful for this time with my two best friends, for having laughed, but I let myself slide anyway. And hoped someone would pull me back up.” 3 likes
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