The Killer Poet's Guide to Immortality

by A.B. Bard

The Killer Poet's Guide to Immortality is the riveting tale of a frustrated poet who decides that the best way to get his work read is by pinning it to corpses with a dagger. Alternately profound and hilarious, this novel chronicles in rapid-fire succession the Killer Poet's serial murder spree, rise to media notoriety, capture, trial, and execution by lethal injection. Then it presses further, into the future . . .

Genres: Poetry

212 pages, Paperback

First published July 15, 2012

About the author

Mr. Bard is not now, nor has he ever been, a member of the Republican Party. Mr. Bard does not Tweet. He was once nominated to push a cart, but he never got to push the cart so he went home. He was awarded a sheepskin (BAaa) from Reed College Sleeper Cell. He is way too classy to make a Bachelor o fart joke in his bio. He has never been a Creative writing adjunct. His one super power is the ability to repel all conventional measures of literary success. Lap to a cat. Pal to a girl. God to a dog. Dog to the man.

Reviews

[Diana (Offbeat Vagabond)]

Original post here: http://offbeatvagabond.blogspot.com/2013/01/the-killer-poets-guide-to-immortality.html

The Killer Poet's Guide to Immortality is the story of a man named A. B. Bard on a mission. Bard is a man that wants his work to be read and adored by all. So how does he go about it? He kills people and leaves his work on the corpses'. Of course, this grabs the attention of many. Unlike any regular poet's struggle, Bard's attempt is obviously anything but ordinary. Due to unique methods, he rises to fame. But that fame comes with his inevitable execution. But Bard has other plans. His plans however result into more than he bargained for.

Bard (character Bard, not author Bard) was a very interesting main character. He is a character you wouldn't think you'd like, but you do. He is the only madman I would like to know. Wait, what? But seriously, he gets such a following in this book, it is no wonder people are behind him even after all he has done. The narration clearly demonstrates Bard's frustration, but given his wording, they tend to make you laugh. Through all his dialogue, his words are funny, offensive, and just plain insane. That is all part of his charm and why you would love to know Bard (both character and author) as well.

I love the story and where it goes. I wouldn't have seen any of that coming even if my life depended on it. We start by seeing Bard going on his killing spree and spreading making his work to let the world know who is. The story then takes us on a different journey with Bard that was epic and thoroughly entertaining. I am trying my best not to spoil this for you, but trust me, this book goes to some unbelievable places.

This was a fantastic read. It will offend everyone and everything in our modern world, but that is the beauty of it. Bard attacks with super-sharp satire and laughs while he does (not sure which Bard I am referring to, but let's go with both). This book is an amazing mixture of satire, poetry, science fiction, urban fantasy and crime fiction. This may be fiction, but Bard (author Bard) does a wonderful job pointing out all the issues in modern day America. All our problems get laid out and ripped apart by Bard piece by piece with amazing insight. I highly recommend this for people who want a thought-provoking, profound read with plenty of laughs.

[Kim]

The Killer Poet's Guide to Immortality is in a word... INSANE! A.B. Bard is not only the author of this highly unusual book, but is the fictional main character, a man who wants his poetry to be read and loved by all. So he takes a unique approach to promoting his art, leaving pieces of his work in unusual places... on the bodies of those he has murdered, Reading this book is a lot like being in a tornado, constantly spun at dizzying speeds. And I mean that in a good way. It is completely irreverant, satirical, and wildly clever and hysterical. And through it all, Bard (the poet) is a guy that somehow you just have to like, despite all that he does in the name of his art. He is clearly a frustrated artist complete with a pretty clear "Eff off" attitude that is seen in both his dialogue and in his poetry scattered throughout the book. Frequently, his words and thoughts cross the line of anger and frustration and become pure insanity.

As I said before, it was dizzying to read, often mind-boggling and confusing. But it is supposed to be as you, the reader, are travelling essentially within the brain of an insanely frustrated poet. Just as soon as I thought I knew where things were going, they changed. Generally, before I could wrap my mind around these new things, it changed again. Truly exciting!

It is hard to pin down a genre for this book, because it covers a little bit of just about everything from poetry, sci fi, crime fiction, urban fantasy, humor, and satire. While faction, Bard's (the author) use of satire was dead on. A completely insane book that I thoroughly recommend, but do not expect light and fluffy. Definitely dark humor!

This post originally appears on The Caffeinated Diva reads: http://thecaffeinateddivareads.multif...

[Hope]

Dark and twisty in the best way. I initially picked this up because the author was local and featured in our community bookstore, I'm so glad to have found it. The plot takes some peculiar turns, but the writing is so accessible and entertaining that you (or at least I) can't help but enjoy the funky ride. If enjoyed I would recommend looking up Johnny the Homicidal Maniac and vice versa.