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Chocolate Lovers #1

Seduction and Snacks

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Goodreads Choice Award
Nominee for Best Romance (2012)
This is an alternate cover edition of ASIN B008AZTUU8

Claire is a twenty-something, single mom that grudgingly helps her best friend sell sex toys while she attempts to make enough money to start her own business to give her foul-mouthed, but extremely loveable (when he's asleep) toddler a better life.

When Carter, the one-night-stand from her past that changed her life forever, shows up in her hometown bar without any recollection of her besides her unique chocolate scent, Claire will make it a point that he remembers her this time.

With Carter's undisguised shock at suddenly finding out he has a four-year-old son and Claire's panic that her stretch marks and slim to none bedroom experience will send the man of her dreams heading for the hills, the pair will do whatever they can to get their happily ever after.

Warning: contains explicit sex, profanity and enough sarcasm to choke a horse.

286 pages, Kindle Edition

First published June 11, 2012

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About the author

Tara Sivec

67 books10.2k followers
Tara Sivec is a USA Today best-selling author, wife, mother, chauffeur, maid, short-order cook, baby-sitter, and sarcasm expert. She lives in Ohio with her husband and two children and looks forward to the day when all three of them become adults and move out.

After working in the brokerage business for fourteen years, Tara decided to pick up a pen and write instead of shoving it in her eye out of boredom. She writes in a wide range of genres including Romantic Comedy, Romantic Comedy/Mystery, Romantic Suspense, New Adult Drama, Contemporary Romance and Psychological Thriller. Her novel Seduction and Snacks won first place in the Indie Romance Convention Reader's Choice Awards 2013 for Best Indie First Book and she was voted Best Indie Author in the Indie Romance Convention Reader's Choice Awards 2014.

In her spare time, Tara loves to dream about all of the baking she'll do and naps she'll take when she ever gets spare time.

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5 stars
23,952 (45%)
4 stars
15,015 (28%)
3 stars
8,326 (15%)
2 stars
3,161 (6%)
1 star
1,907 (3%)
Displaying 1 - 30 of 5,866 reviews
Profile Image for Kristen.
830 reviews4,718 followers
July 15, 2017

This book started out hilarious and I was having a blast reading it until I wasn't. It stopped being funny and started to become annoying. Very annoying, over-the-top, and ridiculous. Just too much! For me, this is one of those books that tries too hard to be funny and ends up failing because of it. And, boy, was it crude! Not a fun combination for me!

I believe whether or not this book works for a reader depends solely on what one considers humorous. For those wondering if this book's humor will work for you, Searock's review gives a good example.
Profile Image for Tough Critic Book Reviews.
308 reviews2,154 followers
August 24, 2012
Tara Sivec...my vagina salutes you

The unfiltered hilarity of this book made me laugh and orgasm at the same time. Can you laugh yourself into an orgasm?? Never in my life have I been so damn proud to have a vagina! I normally don't like vagina; it can be very territorial. When vagina...vaginas...vagini? When vagini get around each other, the pussy claws come out and everything becomes one big competition. It's like the f**king whoo-ha olympics; every twat for themselves. But deep down inside we're all just looking for someone to high-five our clean poonani with.

So why bring up age old twat wars? Because Seduction & Snacks punches every single nauseating female stereotype in the face. It portrays the type of unfiltered, f**k the world, this is me so deal with it type of woman that I want to be. A woman that makes me want to jump up and yell, "OOH! OOH! I HAVE A VAGINA TOO."

I'm aware of my overuse of the word vagina, but I cunt help it. S&S was like the holy grail of vag one-liners. Tara Sivec is the vagina whisperer. She is the f**king Dali-Lama of feminine humor! Tara, I give you the double flap slap, the hymen high-five! You are a rock star!

This book came highly recommended to me because of it's real hilarity, but damn if I didn't fall for everything else too. I fell in love with all the amazing characters. I wanted to get knocked up just so I could have a Gavin. Hell, just the intimate moments between Claire & Carter were enough to turn the stick pink! I felt like I needed a condom just to read it!

However, in the midst of all the hilarity was a story of intense passion and heart-melting romance. Even without the pantie soiling humor, Seduction & Snacks would still be a five star book! A book I would read again and again. A book that should knock every other book on your TBR list to the bottom. This...right here...is why I read books!


Reviewed at www.toughcriticbookreviews.blogspot.com
Profile Image for Aestas Book Blog.
1,059 reviews74.8k followers
August 14, 2012
Okay guys, this is, hands down, the most HILARIOUS romance I have ever read!!!!

No book has EVER made me laugh this hard. I giggled, squeed, snorted, and cried with laughter to the point where I’d have to stop reading in order to catch my breath!! PURE FUN!

But the best part was that it wasn’t just a funny story – it had everything! It was oh-so-swoony with some seriously omg-fan-yourself H.O.T and steamy bedroom scenes and an absolutely heart-meltingly sweet and beautiful story about a family finding each other and coming together… just all-round WIN!! Easily one of my favorite reads of the year!

Claire doesn’t want kids. Ever. However, one drunken college party one-night-stand with a gorgeous swoony guy whose name she doesn’t even know later, she finds herself pregnant.

“I took eleventy-billion home pregnancy tests, after drinking a gallon of milk so I would have enough pee for all of them… [then] I Googled “milk and pregnancy tests” to make sure I didn’t just spend 37 minutes of my life staring in horror at positive pregnancy tests… because pasteurization messed with the hormones and created a false positive.
It doesn’t, just in case you were wondering.”

She searches everywhere trying to find the guy she slept with but with no luck. At the same time, we get the alternate POV from Carter (the gorgeous swoony guy she slept with) who also has been searching everywhere trying to find her. Fast forward 5 years later to present day, Claire is a single mom whose passion is baking but who now sells sex toys with her best friend so she can make money to care for her 4-year-old son, Gavin. Then one day, randomly, out of the blue, Carter shows up in her town and she then finds out that he too has been trying to find her since that night in college. Granted, he’s in a bit of shock to find out that he has a son, but soon takes it all in stride and wants nothing more than to be the best father he can be and finally get a shot to be with the girl he’s been dreaming about for the past 5 years.

Beware, I don’t think I’ve ever read the word ‘vagina’ (or ‘penis’) quite so many times. There is nothing subtle or delicate about this book, but it totally works in the context of how the story unfolds.

The characters were amazing, endearing and hysterical, the plot was fun and engaging, there was no bad guy, very little drama, no stupidity, the writing is witty, the sex is HOT (no ‘closed doors’ in this book!), and the story will undoubtedly warm your heart and leave you with a delightfully happy feeling

C’mon, doesn’t this make you laugh?!

"I decided… I was going to be a labor and delivery consultant. I was going to stand next to every single woman in labor and every time.. the woman’s husband said something stupid like, “Just breathe through the pain,” it would be my job to squeeze the living fuck out of their reproductive organs until they were curled up in the fetal position… and I’d say “Just breathe through the pain, asshole!”

I absolutely LOVED it! It has a very happy ending, but its clear that there is more to the story. When I got to the end, I stupidly sat there trying to flip the last page of my kindle over and over again cuz I couldn’t believe it had ended. Book 2 “Futures and Frosting” can’t come soon enough!

Seriously, everyone HAS to read it!! Highly recommended if you love to laugh!!!!

For more of my reviews, visit Aestas Book Blog

And come join the Aestas Book Blog Facebook Page
Profile Image for UniquelyMoi ~ BlithelyBookish.
1,166 reviews1,581 followers
November 22, 2015

Seduction and Snacks is one of - if not the - funniest book I’ve ever read. It’s an irreverent look at single parenting, dating, finding true love and… well, it’s a story about so much!

Claire and Carter are a great couple. I loved that there was NOT a bunch of drama… loved that Carter took on his role of father without hesitation, and those ‘becoming a parent’ moments were some of the funniest scenes ever written. Gavin is a precocious, too-smart-for-his-own-good four year old with a potty mouth that doesn’t quit. The things that kid says are insightful while at the same time, funny as all get-out.

Edited to add: If there's a downside to the book it's that while reading, I often wondered if Claire did nothing to shelter Gavin from her own unparentlike behaviors. When I allowed myself to think deeply about parts of the story, parts like what I mentioned and the amount of drinking/alcohol consumption going on... yeah, not the best storyline to have such a young kid in. But when I just read it for the entertainment value, I couldn't put it down or stop laughing.

The bottom line – this book had me laughing so hard I was crying. Middle of the night, wake up the whole family because I was l laughing so hard I was screeching. If you’re looking for a story that won’t leave you emotionally drained, one that will leave you with a smile on your face, and the only tears come from laughing so hard you ache, then definitely read Seduction and Snacks. You won’t be disappointed.
Profile Image for S.C. Stephens.
Author 32 books17k followers
November 18, 2012
Not only is this book pee-your-pants funny, it’s incredibly hot!! It’s also romantic, sweet, sassy, and fun. I absolutely loved it, and I’m going to make all of my friends read it. Then I’m going to make them text me their favorite lines, so I can laugh all over again!
Profile Image for Debra.
474 reviews2,411 followers
October 15, 2013

★★★★ 4 memorable and funny-as-hell STARS.

My main reaction while reading this book was pretty much this:

Or this:

I was either laughing out loud or shocked at something one of the characters said and that made me embarrased in their place for actually saying what they did out loud.

Random thoughts and highlights:

❥ My favorite character of the book was by far Gavin!! He's probably the CUTEST, FUNNIEST four year old ever. Some pf the things he did and said were just too cute and he never failed to crack me up.

❥ Claire is a very likeable heroine that pretty much says whatever she's thinking at the moment. Although her relationship with Carter had a pretty rockt start, they end up complementing each other perfectly. Their encounters sure made for some hilariously embarrising moments (especially for Claire, LOL).

❥ Drew and Jenny just being... Drew and Jenny. Which means that Drew acted as a grown up child and Jenny was lacking a general knowledge of the English language which made for some memorable mispronunciations. Together they make quite the pair and I'm already looking forward to reading their story!

❥ Claire's overprotective and again funny as hell dad George never failed to crack me up with his good natured overprotectiveness.

❥ The whole "Seduction and Snacks" concept with Liz selling sex toys and Claire selling her chocolate and cookies was a nice, original touch to the story and made for some

The story itself was more of a 3 star for me, but because of the sense of humor and the originality of the characters and their hilarious conversations, this book deserves a solid 4 STAR rating. It was the perfect relaxing, fun, in-between-read that will definitely stay with me because of all its hilarious oneliners.

There was no cliffhanger, but the ending did make me curious enough to continue with the rest of the series soon!


Profile Image for Michelle [Helen Geek].
1,771 reviews404 followers
October 2, 2012
10/02/2012 Full review posted: http://2geekgirlsreviewbooks.com/
Overall Rating = 2
Book Cover / Book Blurb = 1.5/3 = 2.25
Writer’s Voice = 2.5
Character Development = 1.5
Story Appreciation = 2
Worth the Chili = 1.5

Reviewed by Hope

Helen's Review:
2 Stars

This was a disappointing “DNF” for me. I was almost finished, had about 30 pages to go, but it was just too absurd to keep me any longer and I knew I had lost all patience. I was ready to scrap it about 30 pages in, but then it made me laugh. I laughed so hard, in a few places in this thing, my sides ached. So, you’d think not a total waste. And, you would be correct, but this author didn’t know when to stop with the humor. She used it as filler for a story seriously lacking. Almost like having sex for the sake of sex in a book. Same thing here with the humor. And, if I had read the words vagina or penis one more time I would have killed something … I love those words, but seriously!

Also, I firmly believe I’m very liberal in my views on most things. I think one of the very things I have some rigidity about is how children are portrayed in books. She had this poor kid [4 years old] saying things a veteran trucker or sailor would have issue hearing come out of their own mouths. The innuendo this 4 year old is supposed to understand and imply … asinine. I just felt really sorry for the parenting skills portrayed. Then the very next minute they had him acting like a baby. A four year old is not a baby and most talk very well with a large vocabulary at this age. And his behavior, all very frustrating for me.

I think this book has been marketed all wrong. It is more Saturday Night Live does romance. If I had known this, may have been better and I may have had more patience, but then again, I probably wouldn’t have given it the few hours I did. One suggestion for this author … pick something. Either focus on the humor or focus on the romance or develop your talents to balance the two much better than this debut demonstrates.

I would not recommend the entire book to anybody. There are places I thought very entertaining from a comedy perspective, but I wouldn’t wade through the rest just for those glimmers of light. Just sayin’…

You won’t be Happy Reading this one!
Profile Image for Richa.
50 reviews1,169 followers
November 22, 2012

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In the first few pages all I could see was "I'm never having children"...then...babies, babies, babies, ranting, ranting, ranting,
disgusting, disgusting, disgusting, ranting, ranting, ranting
....yeah we get it...the heroine has an extreeeeeeme aversion to children, and all things related to them (including childbirth) and then of course she had to go and have a baby of her own in a super romantic manner (*note-sarcasm*) and end up being a single mom....I was kinda surprised that I even read the book till there....because all I could think along the way was "YOU (the character) need to consult a psychoanalyst and get some serious therapy done" .......

Everyone and I mean everyone in the book was obsessed with vagina and of course penis, all they could do was talk about it, think about it, want to have sex all the time either with themselves or others. Seriously people (the characters) GET A LIFE! Perhaps they did not have a proper psychosexual development, something must have gone wrong in their phallic stage. I don't know.....

We have been taught to be critical thinkers and not pass judgement based on our whims because writers write and it's our job to understand what they are trying to convey and read between the lines, so as a critical thinker I would once again like to reiterate my earlier point GET A LIFE (the characters-I just don't get them).

The storyline was pretty common but it had potential and could have been developed into something worthwhile but the characters, the writing style, the words, all of it slowly and slowly choked the life out of it until there was nothing left but this....whatever this is...

There are many who liked it, no, actually loved it which is clearly evident from their reviews and ratings, so to each their own, I guess. The book didn't make me laugh (alright, it did perhaps just once or twice) , it did make me cringe though.

I'm not a prude or something nor do I have anything against swear words used occasionally but I want to know- do people really talk that way?

Profile Image for Christy.
3,755 reviews32k followers
September 27, 2021
5 stars

What can I say about this book? I loved it and it was so hilarious! Not only was the story sweet and sexy, but this has to be the funniest book I have ever read.

Seduction and Snacks starts with Claire who never wanted kids. Ever. She meets the nameless sperm donor (Carter) whom she loses her virginity to at a frat party. They both search for each other after the fact to no avail. Five years later fate (or his job) brings Carter to Claire's home town....

Claire is probably one of the funniest and most likable female characters I've read. Carter was great too. He had his funny moments and was swoony. Her friends Liz and Jim were great, and her dad was amazing. And Gavin, her son, was the best kid.

So glad there is going to be a second book, I can't wait. If you haven't read this book and you want a laugh out loud funny book, READ IT! You won't be dissapointed!
July 2, 2015
H-I-L-A-R-I-O-U-S! SEDUCTION AND SNACKS is a fantastic laugh-out-loud romance that will leave you snickering down to the final words of the book!

Imagine holding on to your virginity for 20 years only to loose it in a drunken, one-night-stand to a hot, but nameless guy at a fraternity party. Yes, lots of things suck about that previous statement, but then top it off with the biggest suck factor of all – Mr. Nameless apparently had some super-sperm that somehow escaped confines of the condom. Yes, you guessed it, months later, after exactly one night of not-so-passionate “love-making” you are left with a lasting “gift” in the form of a drooling, pooping, peeing, spewing bundle of…er…joy.

Meet Claire, the barely-not-a-virgin, twenty-something who has professed her extreme aversion to children and has sworn them off for life – yes, she is the lucky recipient of the previously mentioned “super-sperm”. With the help of her close friends, Liz and Jim, Claire scours the college campus in search of her nameless, one-night-boy toy – without success. Although this is not the path she had planned to take, she pulls up her boot straps, revves up her sense of humor and makes the necessary adjustments to her life – which includes dropping out of college and moving back home with her gruff, but loveable military father.

The crazy, but loveable cast of characters suck you in from the beginning – from the 4 year-old devil’s spawn with a mouth like a sailor to the potentially psychotic father/grandfather and every character in between.

Self-Published Author, Tara Sivec definitely has a way with words – quite unlike any author I have read. What a refreshing change of pace in comparison to the loads of blah romances and erotic reads with no plot to choose from. Sivec has done an excellent job conveying her unique, snarky humor while making her quirky characters come to life in this romantic comedy. The pictures she paints with words are so vivid the images pop right off the page and you feel like you are experiencing the hilarious situations in real life!

I would recommend SEDUCTION AND SNACKS to anyone looking for a feel-good story with great humor that is sure to make you laugh. I LOVED it and I did not want it to end – I hope you will love it too!

NOTE: Self-Published indicates no “professional editing” has occurred. With the exception of some grammatical and spelling errors, Sivec has done a great job of giving the reader a lovely finished product. I know some of you take off stars for editing errors, so I thought this was worth mentioning - if the story is appealing to you, please don’t let this deter you from snatching it up. I can almost guarantee you will not be disappointed.

✳✳ Reviewed on I ♥ Bookie Nookie Reviews

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Profile Image for Duchess Nicole.
1,258 reviews1,516 followers
April 25, 2013
This seems to be a love it or hate it type book, and for me it was just so-so. It was funny in places, sure. There were a few times that I belly laughed. But to be honest, I think the author relied so heavily on potty humor, I felt like I was watching an eight hour episode of South Park. Crude can be funny, but my GOSH, it was so overdone! Shock value only lasts so long, and then its no longer shocking...it's repetitive and uncomfortable.

I like how Claire describes her desire to never have children. I remember being pretty horrified by kids myself until I had my own little monster daughters that I couldn't love more if I tried. But the way she actually mothers him is more like a naughty teenage aunt with very few morals. And I realize that this is fiction. Possibly I was offended because my daughters are close in age to Gavin and I was disgusted by the lack of parenting in this book. In every single scene that involves the kid, he's either punching someone in the balls, asking his MOTHER to see her boobs, staring at his father's morning wood, or cursing. Every. Single. Scene. Just another example of how Sivec's type of humor was waaay overdone. It would be funny once or twice, but I just found myself horrified at the bratty kid who NEVER got disciplined, no matter how bad the behavior. Rant over. I know I'm over analyzing the kid part.

The behavior of the adults is reminiscent of college, pre-children for me. There are almost as many hangovers as boners in this book, and more than one scene is dedicated to the stupid things that Claire and her posse do while rip roaring drunk. Isn't being a lushy, slobbery mess how she became a single parent in the first place? Not to judge, but good grief! Time to grow up. Are there really people out there that dedicate their weekends to partying after age 25? I can see the occasional letting loose, but geez.

The women and the mouths they have are cringe worthy. Seriously, it's BAAAAD! I'm not a prude, but the words twat and cunt coming out of a woman's mouth regularly are just trashy sounding. I read some excerpts to my husband, and though he laughed, he also turned to me and said, "I'm glad you don't talk like that. It'd be kinda gross." Though I will say that about halfway through, the nasty language seemed to tone down a little. Or maybe I just became immune, I don't know.

Sigh! Okay, having said all of that, I CAN still see the appeal. This is a cut loose and have fun book. There's really no meaningful dialogue beyond a few sweet words, and very little angst. It's so lighthearted, even the parts that maybe should have held more meaning...like Claire dropping out of college because she got pregnant. But she kept to the light and stayed upbeat through the beat down of doing everything on her own. I liked how Carter immediately stepped into his new role of Daddy and there wasn't any reason to hate him. He was completely loveable. Truly, if you're gonna get knocked up, you want it to be by a guy like Carter.
Profile Image for Brittni.
183 reviews122 followers
June 26, 2013
This Is The Most Hilarious Book I've Ever Read!!!! Hands Down!!!

At one point, I had tears streaming down my face from laughing so hard!!

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Short Summary: Claire is a college student who decides to lose her virginity at a frat party, but consequently ends up getting knocked up by Carter aka the one night stand. The crazy thing is Claire and Carter never exchanged names after Claire sneaks out the next morning. They never see each other again until 5 years later when Carter shows up at the bar Claire works at. Claire recognizes Carter and the rest makes for one funny ass story.

I loved Claire. She is so sarcastic and never holds anything back. She will tell you exactly how she feels about a situation like childbirth and will never sugarcoat anything. I really liked that about her.

Carter is a sweetheart!! I love him!!! But the person who stole the whole book to me is Claire and Carter's four year old son Gavin. OMG!!! This adorable foul-mouth little boy was hilarious. He had me in tear at one time from laughing so hard. I freaking loved him!! He kept me entertained the whole time with his punching people in the nuts antics. LOL!!!

Overall, I loved this book!! It was so funny!! Definitely a must read!!
Profile Image for Stacia (the 2010 club).
1,045 reviews3,948 followers
Shelved as 'did-not-finish'
August 19, 2012
I tried. This one just isn't going to work. Swearing and sex doesn't bother me (obviously, if you know me) but this book reminds me of a preteen who's just decided that he'll seem really awesome if he manages to fit in every raunchy word possible in the telling of one story - it's called trying too hard to be entertaining. The jokes are drowning in the attempt to look youthful and cool.
Profile Image for Dinjolina.
526 reviews497 followers
November 18, 2012
How, in the name of all that is holly can people call this book funny?

My inner goddess tried explaining this to me, since she is currently bored because I don’t have a dysfunctional abuser in my life that can defeat me with his enormous&skilled penis….just a really sweet and ordinary fiancé. Poor little me. Erm….her….us! Whatever.

”Din, this book is funny because it has such a humongous amount of funny scenes!” she told me brightly.

Ah, well then. Ok.
Wait! Sorry! It’s not ok! That’s not funny! That’s just a bunched up sequence of meant-to-be-funny plotlines that all just jumped out of nowhere. I felt like I was watching a Laugh factory production…on a really bad night. With lots of comedians that just tried too hard!

Why do people find these characters likable?!

”Din, you stupid girl! Don’t make me slap you with a tampon! How can you even ask such a thing??” the inner goddess shrieked.

Because they are NOT likable. Frankly, if I were to be given a gun with one single bullet and made to choose between killing the male OR the female protagonist, I would shoot MYSELF in the head.

Was the cursing baby supposed to be a funny version of a realistic child? A child that was a bit dysfunctional, a bit fond of curse words, an a bit normally unnatural?

Yes, Din-Din. No slap slap on your fine little tush tonight, you naughty girl! You FINALLY got something right!

Oh, really? Because that toddler terrifies me. He was so over the top, it was scary. I think I will brake out in a cold sweat every time I think there may be a child like this somewhere in the world. Some readers call him Gavin. Some “the potty mouthed todler”. I call him El Diablo . He knows everything. He speaks about your sex life. He makes the nice old lady down the street scream in fear. And he does it all while cursing like a sailor.

Carter and Claire are parents? And….why didn’t we call the social service?

I am getting pissed off! Don’t be so mean to these wonderful characters! It’s not their fault your sex life is dull! Your “down there” must be very lonely!

Yeaaaah. Hm. Again --> ok. But really. All kidding aside. Being and unfit parent is NOT funny. Or sexy. Or even cute.

Look. I get why people see this book as original. I get that we all need a bit of laughter in our lives. It’s just that………..how about a real plot? Or real character development? Maybe lines that don’t sound like something a pet parrot would say?
Eh. Am I growing old and cranky, spreading unwarranted hate?
I don’t think so. I honestly see this book as something that has too much of everything. Too much effort, too much slap stick comedy, too much fake drama. Just….too much.

Profile Image for Anas Attic  Book Blog.
1,314 reviews653 followers
May 29, 2019
Read more of my reviews and ramblings at Ana's Attic Book Blog

I am in love. Yes, I have a total girl crush on Tara Sivec. Move over Christian Grey, I’m switching teams. I am ready to move near Tara and stalk her so I can be her best friend (and maybe lick her face a little. I love her that much). Or maybe it’s the characters she wrote I want to hang with. Or are they one in the same?

Seduction and Snacks by Tara Sivec is hands down my new favorite book. I laughed so much during this book scary things were happening to my body. Seriously. I was eating chips (damn my husband for leaving those Bugles out!) and one SHOT out my nose. At the same time, my tampon dislodged itself (thank God that didn’t shoot all the way out too!) I had a little cough while reading this, so every time I laughed, I would break into a coughing fit. My family had 911 on speed dial. My husband has been looking at me like I grew two heads and mumbling “uh oh, she’s at it again” every time I picked up the book to read more. I kept having to put this book down because I didn’t want it to end, and my face, stomach and chest muscles started hurting.

So here is the plot. The book opens with Claire talking about how much she had no desire for rugrats. (I get this, I was married 7 years before I went off the pill.) Claire is a trash talking, diarrhea of the mouth, ADD riddled woman that you can’t help but relate to and fall in love with. But at 20 years old, she was desperate to give up her v-card. She met this amazing, swoony guy at a frat party.

“I’m a quirky, intelligent, dark haired chick! Me, me, me, pick me! And who the hell keeps whining and ruining my perfect moment? I will cut a bitch.”

“I want to reach in my pants, pull out my virginity, wrap it up and put a bow on it. Or maybe stick it in a gift bag from Target and give it to him like a present with a nice card that says ‘Thank you for being you! Just a little virginity to show my gratitude”

They were both totally trashed, had an amazing night talking before she lost it to him, never asking his name, and she snuck out the next morning. (Wait till you read the scene with him waking up and looking down at the evidence of her lost virginity.)

“I took eleventy-billion home pregnancy tests, after drinking a gallon of milk so I would have enough pee for all of them… [then] I Googled “milk and pregnancy tests” to make sure I didn’t just spend 37 minutes of my life staring in horror at positive pregnancy tests… because pasteurization messed with the hormones and created a false positive.
It doesn’t, just in case you were wondering.”

Fast forward 5 years later, and Claire is the mother of Gavin, the funniest kid ever (takes after his mom). She is begrudgingly helping her friend Liz sell sex toys despite the fact that she only had sex 1 1/2 times. Claire and Liz had tried every way to search for the baby-daddy, Carter, after she found she was pregnant. We see that Carter too, has been smelling every lotion he can find for 5 years because he remembered Claire’s chocolate scent, but not really her face. Coincidentally, they meet again, and so begins a romance that was funny as hell, totally hot, completely romantic and amazing to read.

Claire’s inner monologue of how to tell Carter he was her baby-daddy were hysterical:

“Hey Carter, speaking of hot–your hot beef injection had a play date with my eggs”

“Speaking of crazy, your spunk has a crazy backstroke”

“I was trying to figure out a way to tell him his love mayonnaise had mad skills and no one at this table could stop talking about vibrators”

So not only am I in love with the women in the story (Claire & Liz, and Jenny’s use of English) but the men too! Carter is amazing, even his douchebag friend Drew cracked me up with his hysterical shirts. (I love funny shirts, I buy them for my kids.) Claire’s dad is totally amazing and reminds me of Robert DeNiro in The Fokkers. Jim, Liz’s husband is awesome how he just goes with everything, and Gavin, the four year old boy, just totally stole the show.

I started out highlighting funny quotes for the blog. I would have highlighted the entire book. But not only was the book filled with funny lines, I really loved the sweet romance. The book changes POV from Claire’s to Carter’s, and we get to see how awesome Carter really is by seeing the events through his eyes. (I totally love him!)

I read all my books on my iPhone with the second to largest print setting (what? I’m old!) and I can say, I laughed at almost every page. 90% of those pages also had some form of the word “vagina” or at least “penis” on it. There were a ton of references to movies and pop culture and I totally got every one of them, including General Hospital (yes, I watched it for over 30 years), watching the Wizard of Oz with Pink Floyd playing (obviously someone knows her pot pop culture), and some great movies from my teen years.


-Every freaking thing.


-I have to wait for more from Tara.

Rating: 10 stars. Yes, it’s my blog, ( www.anasattic.com ) so I’m allowed to do whatever I want! 4.25 for heat.

Read this book when you are in a book slump, depressed, tired of drama, need a pick me up or PMSing but be careful if it’s that time of month. I never knew hysterical laughing can make my tampon start to slip out! I am ordering those vagina balls (look to your right and down on the blog) and starting kegels immediately. Do NOT read this book if you can’t take vulgar humor and hysterical kids with dirty mouths. Also, I don’t recommend reading this book someplace where laughing out loud is extremely inappropriate (like a funeral?) because you will laugh and trying to hold in these laughs can hurt. I know. I tried.

The sequel, Futures and Frosting was just as much fun (see my review on that there.)
I'm thinking this should be on the new cover! I think these should be on the next cover!

Profile Image for ✰♊ Angie ♊✰.
327 reviews147 followers
June 3, 2018
Um, a hilarious rom-com about second chance romance with plenty of smut and a whole shit load of chocolate?? To this, I say...


I was a little skeptical about reading this book because I don't typically like books that involve surprise pregnancies or kiddos in general. I prefer my fiction escapes not to mirror my real life as a mom.



Anywho… in this story, a drunken one night stand leads to a loss of virginity, a surprise pregnancy, and absolutely no idea as to the identity of the man with the excellent swimmers. Ahh... liquor.


Fast forward 5 years, and fate has stepped in to help right the wrongs that liquor created.


And it was, folks. This book was super sweet. Light read with absolutely no angst. But, what sets this one apart and kept me hooked (despite the kiddy aspect) was the absolute hilarity throughout this book. I was no joke laughing out loud while reading this.



I mean, it was so funny in parts that I was wiping the "laughing tears" from my eyes.


If you are looking for a light, easy, friggin' hilarious read with enough spice to make you sweat *wink* I highly recommend this sweet book.
Profile Image for Searock.
147 reviews1 follower
Shelved as 'dnf-shelved-for-another-day-maybe'
September 7, 2012
Buddy Read with Stacia "The Ace".
DNF for now.
I have to be in the right mood for this humor.

Just a little random example:

"I was going to stand next to every single woman in labor and every time a nurse or a doctor or hell, even the woman's husband said something stupid like, 'Just breathe through the pain,' it would be my job to squeeze the living fuck out of their reproductive organs until they were curled up in the fetal position asking for their mommies and I'd say, "Just breathe through the pain, asshole!' And anyone that gave the new mother a dirty look after an eight pound, one ounce bloody, gooey, screaming pile of tiny human was cut out of her stomach when she asked her father to grab the bottle of vodka out of her overnight bag because, 'morphine and vodka sounds like a stellar way to celebrate the birth of my spawn,' would get the McJudgy glare smacked right off their face."

Profile Image for Heather K (dentist in my spare time).
3,843 reviews5,560 followers
March 14, 2013
**1.5 stars**

This book was a huge, HUGE let down. Let me say that I have been saving this book for a rainy day, a day when I needed a funny book to lift me up and put a smile on my face. When I started this book I was very hopeful. However, I soon discovered that this book was not for my taste.

First of all, you know in comedies how there is a funny person and a straight man? This book had no straight man. Both characters were just off the wall and so similar that if it wasn't for the "he" or "she"s I would have trouble telling their voices apart.

Secondly, as a mother of an almost 4 year old, I thought that the character of Gavin was totally off. I mean, I know I'm nitpicking, but I would flip out if my child said 1/100th of the things that Gavin said or did. Also, 4 year olds don't have the mind set that Gavin had. They don't make those kinds of observations or have those kinds of retorts. It read false to me, so false that I cringed when he was in the book.

Lastly, I got really sick and tired of the stupid vagina jokes. Every joke was so one note. It was just the same thing over and over. I found it to be tedious and really not funny. And I LOVE funny books.

I gave it an extra 1/2 a star because it wasn't poorly written, per se, it was just trying too darn hard that it was painful for me to read.
Profile Image for Sheryl C. Nash.
1,714 reviews431 followers
August 13, 2012
Let me just scream this at the top of my lungs, "BEST BOOK OF THE FREAKIN' YEAR" for me!!!

I don't care that this was written originally as a Twilight fanfic and that people are pissed that the author pulled her stories from the free domain to publish them (seriously, all of you that gave the author one star for doing that NEED TO GROW UP!!! Why don't y'all just go lay that shit on the doorstep of EL James, considering that Fifty Shades was also originally written as a Twilight fanfic?!), people like me who don't read alot of fanfics APPRECIATE authors doing that ESPECIALLY for stories like this which are the BOMB and DESERVE to be shared with the rest of us... is it wrong for them to want to make money off their hard work? Y'all just need to grow a pair...

Right onto the AWESOMENESS that was this story; it had EVERYTHING it in, it was sweet, hot but most importantly, laugh-so-hard-you-pee-your-pants FUNNY! This story sucked me in from the very beginning with Claire and her runaway mouth/brain and can i say, *drool* i just ABSO-F**KING-LUTELY LOVED Carter... i'd have his baby IN A HEARTBEAT!!

All i can say is read the damn thing already!! You seriously WILL NOT BE DISSAPOINTED!!
Profile Image for ♡Karlyn P♡.
605 reviews1,205 followers
September 23, 2012
Argh! I just lost a review I spent nearly an hour writing. :-(

3.5 stars. In summary, Claire and Carter met five-years earlier and had a drunken one-night stand that left her pregnant and neither of them knowing how to find the other. Five years later, a chance meeting brings these two together again.

This was a funny romance story, and I get why people are recommending it left and right, but it had way too much snarky, naughty, over-the-top 'bumper sticker' type humor for me. It was just toooo much at times. The constant jokes about vaginas, poop, penises, a cursing 4-year old, and getting drunk were hilarious at times but they also became annoyingly repetitive.

I loved the romance between Carter and Claire, I thought they had great chemistry. What they had together was oddly normal considering all the craziness surrounding them.

Gavin was a crack up. A 4-year old with a mouth like a sailor, and some hilarious comments about the very adult world that surrounds him.

The friends were a great mix for the story, their wackiness made Carter and Claire look like the 'normal' ones.

The author clearly has a great sense of humor, but for me it was just too much. The lack of seriousness at times wore on me. If this had a better balance between humor and seriousness, I probably would have loved it.

The story does have a solid HEA, so I was quite happy how it ended. I know there is a sequel, but I think I will pass on reading it.

Profile Image for Lacey (laceybooklovers).
2,006 reviews9,928 followers
August 10, 2021
This was so cringey to read. The humor sadly wasn't for me and the pacing was way too slow. It took nearly a third of the book for the heroine to tell the hero she had a kid with him during their one-night-stand years ago. The MCs would ramble on and on without really doing... anything. And the cussing 4 year old who constantly talked about sex??? I just couldn't. It was too over the top and I made it about halfway before I skimmed the rest.
Profile Image for Lindsay.
2,197 reviews502 followers
September 8, 2012

Oh. My. God! I’m not quite sure I know what to say…

This book was amazing! I don’t recall a time that I laughed so much while reading a book! I know there have been times, I just can’t think of any.

When I first saw this book around GR, I dismissed it due to its (slightly) cheesy cover. Then a friend sent me the link to the book and told me to check it out (thanks Alyssa!), so I did. I was excited to read it. I love stories where couples were separated and find each other again. Then I saw the mixed reviews for the book…I still wanted to read it, but I was kind of scared off. Once I made the decision to get the book, it was unavailable on Amazon (which was really annoying). When it finally came back online, it was on sale, so I jumped on it with no read date in mind. Then came Wednesday…I finished the book I was reading and I couldn’t decide what to read next. I finally decided to start Seduction and Snacks, and I was hooked, and laughing, with the first line…and I kept laughing until the end.

Honestly…there were moments that I laughed so hard, I had years running down my face. And while there were some jokes in the book, it was more the “I can’t believe they said that” moments that made me laugh. They had such colorful vocabularies.

And poor Carter! If I had been warned by everyone with this:

I probably would have had second, third and fourth thoughts about getting involved with someone! (and BTW…I totally pictured Robert De Niro as Clarie’s father). But it definitely cracked me up when Gavin gave him the “I’m watching you…” sign!

I think what I liked most about the book was the characters. If Claire was a real person, I could totally see myself being friends with her…I actually have a friend like her. Granted, my friend isn’t quite as…colorful…as Claire, but personality wise, she’s pretty close. I also loved Carter. He was…amazing, and sweet. I loved how the book went between Claire and Carter’s POVs. I loved seeing how into each other they were. I also loved the beginning of the book. Both Claire and Carter spent time looking for and thinking about the one that got away in college. Even before they met, I could feel the connection between them. I couldn’t wait for them to meet up again and actually get back together.

I was really impressed with Carter’s reaction to finding out about Gavin. Yes, he went off the rails for a week, freaking out but that was understandable. But after wrapping his head around his new reality and the immediate changes to his life, he was right back in there; ready, willing and wanting to be part of Claire and Gavin’s family. There was no blame or anger at Claire for the keeping Gavin from him. Carter accepted what happened, and moved on with his family. That was really refreshing since most stories with the “secret” child have the guy being a jerk when he finds out because the woman didn’t tell him the second she suspected she was pregnant.

This book just seemed real to me. It all seemed like something that could happen to me or someone I know. Carter wasn’t some millionaire that Claire met one night then meets up with later and her whole world is changed because of his money. He’s a normal guy, with a normal job. She was a single mother that had to drop out of college due to her pregnancy. She went home and with the help of her family and friends, made a good life for her son. She worked hard to provide a good life for him. It wasn’t extravagant but it was still comfortable.

And Gavin…Lol. He cracked me up! He was a part sponge and part parrot…everything he soaked up came right back out of his mouth. I’ve been around a few kids like that but Gavin was definitely funnier. He did say a few things that left me with a on my face even as I was laughing.

I will definitely re-read this in the future, it’s a new favorite of mine!

My reviews can also be found on the blog Confessions of 2 Book Lovers.
Profile Image for ♥Rachel♥.
1,824 reviews836 followers
August 29, 2012

Seduction and Snacks was flipping hilarious and sexy as hell!

Have you ever had an instant connection and attraction to someone? You get each other jokes, have the same taste in movies and music, and are enthralled by their stories? We’ll that’s what Claire and Carter have when they meet five years ago at a college frat party. Claire decides from this connection that Carter would be the perfect guy to take her V-card and then she can move on and immerse herself in college again. Yes, Carter is dreamy and gorgeous and funny and smart, but she has a plan for her life, and having a boyfriend as a distraction is not part of it. Life has a funny way of laughing at your plans and turning everything upside down. Life laughed at Claire that night, when on her first time of having sex, she becomes pregnant. Claire didn’t even bother to get Carter’s name, because, as I said, she had no plans of taking on a relationship.

Carter wakes up from having sex with a dream-girl who smells deliciously of chocolate, only to find that she took off. He tries to track her down without success and so he goes on with his life, never knowing what became of her.

Don’t worry, as fate would have it these two meet again and the HILARIOUS and sexy results are in the pages of Seduction and Snacks.

I was a little worried when I first started reading this story because Claire at first comes off a little too cynical but that quickly changes and I ended up loving this snarky girl. Gavin her four year old son has some of the funniest one-liners, sure to have you snorting and crying with laughter. That kid’s mouth could give a sailor a run for his money! Carter is just flat-out amazing and his nervous ramblings are completely entertaining and endearing at the same time! Here’s a bout of his foot-in-mouth disease:

“Shit. I didn’t sleep with your wife. Total mistake….I got confused. I meant to say I slept with your daughter.” I heard Liz groan and saw Claire’s mouth fall open. “But it’s not what you think,” I continued quickly. “I mean, we were both really, really drunk and I didn’t even know who she was until a minute ago.” Oh my God, stop. STOP! One of his eyebrows cocked and I swear I heard him crack his knuckles. “She smells like chocolate and I don’t like to be spanked,” I blurted out in a panic.

Trust me you’ll be laughing your behind off reading this, but also, you’ll come away with a happy satisfied feeling from this super sweet love story!
Profile Image for Georgia ♥ .
420 reviews1,119 followers
July 30, 2013
Funniest book I have ever read! Deserve a shelf of its own, a category in itself.

Warning: You'll laugh until you cry!!!



To say my weekend was bad, is an understatement. Problems at work and by Saturday afternoon I was slightly depressed... And then I picked this book!! Thank GOD and thank you Tara Sivec!

Hilarious and witty, addictive and funny, this book grabs you and smacks you down. It's offensive and opinionated, you can't help but agree at some points and at others...

The first chapter is the most difficult part because being unaware of the characters you can't help but dislike them. No fear though, they quickly warm up to you.

*Favourite characters*:

Gavin, the menace.
Come on people nobody kids are perfect. My mother was torn between dying and throttling my baby brother when he was 3 years old because when strangers asked him his name he was answering: "F**k you a**hole!!" Embarrassing right? That's kids for you!
Gavin favourite scene: Morning erection....

Carter, the sensitive.
When he barked at Claire I fell off my chair!

All time favourite scene.
The chocolate sex live on TV!! I had an asthma attack due to too much laughing.

This book saved my sanity and I'll definitely pick up the next. Can't wait to find out more about Claire, Carter and their merry band of crazy family and friends...
Profile Image for Berit Talks Books.
2,011 reviews15.7k followers
December 7, 2018
I loved, loved, loved, this book! Absolutely hilarious! I wanted to hang out with these people, have some drinks, have some laughs, and of course eat some chocolate. Chocolate covered potato chips, never had them, but now I'm craving them. This is a book I finished and then immediately purchased the next book in the series. I guess this probably isn't for everybody, but if you have a sense of humor, and it's a little crude, you will absolutely love this book!
Profile Image for Penny Reid.
Author 105 books20.5k followers
August 27, 2013
This book is very good (or, as I'd prefer to write- although not, perhaps, appropriate grammatically- very goodly). I read the first 5 pages out loud to a group of my friends and we cried and nearly asphyxiated from laughter.

If you want to laugh, buy this book.
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