Eye-opening read.
“The most interesting young writer I have read in 20 years.” - Gore Vidal
To betray with a kiss. The reek of Judas.
Nothing. Ashes to ashes, dust to dust, love to love.
I come from a people to whom the invisible world is everyday present.
I can’t go back into the past and change it, but I have noticed that the future changes the past. What I call the past is my memory of it and my memory is conditioned by who I am now. Who I will be. The only way for me to handle what is happening is to move myself forward into someone who has handled it. I will have to make her as Jewish legend tells how God made the first man: by moulding a piece of dirt and breathing life into it. The dirt I have in plenty. The life I will have to draw out of lungs unused to deep breathing.
What kills love? Only this: neglect.
When we killed what we were to become what we are, what did we do with the bodies?
My father could find no mercy for himself and offered none.
Aliquem alium internum. 'a certain other one, within.
The horse that crieth among the trumpets Aha!
Where’s the difficulty in being bad?
My grandmother loved me because she recognized the same stubbornness that she had gened in her son. The difficulty and the dream were not separate. To pan the living clay that you are is to stand in the freezing waters and break yourself on a riddle of your own making. No one can force you to it. No one can force you away. Rhinegold, pure gold and somewhere in the Rhinegold, the ring.
Wagner’s Ring cycle
The stories agree that in the difficulty and the dream the hero should never count the cost.
Some writers mix the stella maris with the remora, a tiny fish that sticks to the rudder of a vessel and brings it to a halt. Whatever it is, the fateful decisive thing that utterly alters a confident course. My father feared no remoras.
Ship of Fools navigating the stars
A Knife and Fork
A Bottle and a Cork
That’s the way to spell
New York
Intensity is the Desire to Receive. Open yourself to light and you will become light.
Whitman: I moisten the roots of all that has grown
Shadows, signs, wonders, said Papa
Whitman: The sense of what is real, the thought if after all it should prove unreal.
Defect of vision.
What you see is not what you think you are.
Science cannot solve the ultimate mystery of nature because we ourselves are part of nature and therefore part of the mystery we are trying to solve - Max Planck
It appears unavoidable that physical reality must be described in terms of continuous functions in space. The material point can hardly be conceived anymore - Einstein
If we ask whether the position of the electron remains the same we must say no. If we ask whether the electron’s position changes with time, we must say no. If we ask whether the electron is at rest we must say no. If we ask whether it is in motion we must say no. - Robert Oppenheimer
What we know constantly reveals itself as partial.
In the Torah, the Hebrew ‘to know,’ often used in a sexual context is not about facts but about connections. Knowledge, not as accumulation but as charge and discharge. A release of energy from one site to another. Instead of a hoard of certainties, bug-collected, to make me feel secure, I can give up taxonomy and invite myself to the dance: the patterns, rhythms, multiplicities, paradoxes, shifts, currents, cross-currents, irregularities, irrationalities, geniuses, joints, pivots, worked over time, and thought time, to find the lines of thought that still transmit.
The facts cut me off. What is the separateness of things when the current that flows each to each is live? It is the livingness I want. Not mummification. Livingness.
Energy precedes matter.
New York, city of motion, could not go forward, and so, because it hated to stand still, it went backwards. The past of its people, now from so many parts of the globe, but all knowing what it was to struggle, to pioneer, To make the difficulty into the dream.
To defy the silence of the snow people began to sing.
Food tastes better in Italian
She put her hands down over her belly and felt me there.
“Here I am, Lord,” he said, remembering the story of Samuel.
The dogs slithered to a stop, turned, obeyed the frequency, higher than 30 megahertz, and ran forwards.
I was able to find you because you were radiant. That night the light in you was strong.
The tougher the problem, the more beautiful the solution
General Unified Theory (GUT): any particle, sufficiently magnified, will be seen not as a solid fixed point but as a tiny vibrating string. Matter will be composed of these vibrations. The universe itself would be symphonic.
Renaissance thinker Robert Fludd: Utriusque Cosmi Historia (1617-19) has a diagram of the tuning and harmonies of this instrument according to the heavenly spheres.
As above, so below
The Superstring theory, the symmetry we observe in our universe is only a remnant of the symmetry to be observed in perfect 10-dimensional space
The world’s most famous seducers?
Lothario
Casanova
Don Juan/Giovanni Purché porti la gonnella, Voi sapete quel che fa (If she wears a petticoat, you know what he does).
A man with 2 reputations he wanted to protect: his primacy and his potency
Walk with me. Love him and I love star-dust and light.
Walk with me. Walk the 6,000,000,000,000 miles of traveled light, single year’s journey of illumination...Walk the seen and unseen. What can be rendered visible and what cannot.
We were to be the lightest of things, he and I, lifting each other up above the heaviness of life. It was because we knew that gravity is always part of the equation that we tried to defeat it. Lighter than light in the atmosphere of our love.
It was a volatile experiment.
There is no discovery without risk and what you risk reveals what you value.
When Jove began to notice me I was puppy-dog glad.
Come out for a walk? Woof
Like some dinner? Woof
And then there were three.
His wife, his mistress, met.
I am my father’s daughter.
A man is more than his penis. Not much more but something.
Alla Vostra Salute!
“Do you fall in love often?”
I do not want to be captured nor to hold a honeyed gun to your head. I do not want to spend the rest of my life as a volunteer member of the FBI. Where did you go, who did you see, what did you do today dear? I would love you as a bird loves flight, as meat loves salt, as a dog loves chase, as water finds its own level. Or I would not love you at all.
It was not that either of them were insincere, simply, being bored by an argument, they could change sides faster than a mercenary offered double pay.
Tertium non datur The third is not given, whatever it is that reconciles two opposites.
Post-coital ludos -- a game
What shall we seek?
The first said, Gold
The second said, Wives
The third said, That which cannot be found.
My father shroud himself in the pressure suit and pressure helmet of normal life
He had protected himself against himself.
The pressure suit saved him from the disruptive forces of depth.
According to quantum theory there are not only second chances, but multiple chances.When dead, my father may have simply shifted to an alternative point of his wave function. A wave function spreads indefinitely though at its farthest, it is infinitesimally flimsy.
Hawking’s idea is we should treat the entire universe as a wave function, both specifically located and infinite. If we accept that, then that function is the sum of all possible universes, dead, alive, multiple, simultaneous, interdependent, co-existing.
Paracelsus: The galaxa goes through the belly
What is it that you contain?
Stars in your eyes, the infinity of you, the galaxy of my girl that I explore. The much of you was more than I dared hope for. Treasure is the stuff of legends. GOld in the mine of you. Mine own gold. We did escape gravity. If I flew too close to the sun, forgive me. Water claims her own at last. You were the one who taught me the aerodynamics of risk. I should have trusted you. The failure was mine, Alice, not the pain of having spoken and said nothing. I want to tell you how much I love you. You.
Coleridge: The Ancient Mariner
Nor dim nor red, like God’s own head,
The glorious Sun uprist.
What is the proper perspective on my existence?
The sun you see is 8 minutes in the past, the time it takes for light to travel the distance between the sun’s eye and yours.
Look at the galaxy. What you see is thousands, sometimes tens of thousands of years past, drama of the nebula only visible when it reaches us, effort of light, 183,000 miles per second, crossing centuries of history, still dark to us. The distances are vast. Space and time become space-time.
Only in the present do I begin to recognize my own past.
Truth is found in odd places.
The most plausible explanations usually are lies.
Temporary insanity; temporary all his life.
How else can I know you but through the body you rent? Forgive me if I love it too much.
Perhaps some things take more than a single lifetime to complete.
Perhaps I have begun to imagine more than can be seen with the instruments we as yet possess.
Whatever it is that pulls the pin, that hurls you past the boundaries of your own life into a brief and total beauty, even for a moment, it is enough.