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Carpe Jugulum

(Discworld #23)

4.15  ·  Rating details ·  49,133 ratings  ·  1,182 reviews
Mightily Oats has not picked a good time to be priest. He thought he'd come to Lancre for a simple ceremony. Now he's caught up in a war between vampires and witches.

There's Young Agnes, who is really in two minds about everything. Magrat, who is trying to combine witchcraft and nappies, Nanny Ogg ... and Granny Weatherwax, who is big trouble.

And the vampires are
Paperback, 425 pages
Published November 1st 1999 by Corgi (first published November 5th 1998)
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Wordwizard I like that thought, in large part because it's a version of the idea of sanctity that doesn't depend on what a god said once that people disagree…moreI like that thought, in large part because it's a version of the idea of sanctity that doesn't depend on what a god said once that people disagree over. Granny's got very little time for gods, but she's got a good sense of what's sacred and what's a violation of that. It gives a certain breadth to the world. (less)

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Average rating 4.15  · 
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Mar 16, 2017 rated it liked it
Go for the throat!

That may not be the exact translation for Carpe Jugulum, the title to Terry Pratchett’s 1998 Discworld novel (and 23rd in the series) but it describes Pratchett’s approach to a searing roast of a parody for vampire lit.

Published seven years before Stephenie Meyer’s Twilight books, this does not make fun of that vampire interpretation, but Sir Terry does poke good fun at all things vampire when a family of the undead come down out of Uberwald and subtly invades Lancre. But the
Death reached down and took a handful of sand. He held it up, and let it slip through his fingers.
"Is there any advice you could be givin' me?" said Granny.

This one is all about choices: life or death, justice or mercy, to obey blindly or to fight back...

Vampires have taken over Lancre, and it's up to the witches and a befuddled priest to kick some bat!

Oh, my, how I loved this book! From Magrat's insistence on taking EVERYTHING
Jen/The Tolkien Gal/ジェニファー
What happens when vampires come to the sleepy (and eccentric) town of Lancre? and Granny Weatherwax is nowhere to be found?

Well, AgnesPerdita (who seems to have a form of dissociative identity disorder where Perdita takes over her body at random. As Agnes says "inside every fat girl is a thin girl waiting to come out" quite literally), Magrat (Queen and mother of a two week old baby) and Nanny Ogg (the Town Mother who likely birthed half of the Lancre population)

Image result for carpe jugulum fan art

I was so happy to read a book
Apr 24, 2019 rated it it was amazing
This 23rd Discworld novel is the last of the witches books before the appearance of Tiffany. It's kind of like a goodbye to the trio of Granny Weatherwax, Nanny Ogg and (first) Magrat (and in the meantime) Agnes Nitt / Perdita.

As is known from the previous books, Magrat has left the coven and married the King of Lancre. Now, she has also given birth to a daughter. However, as in classical fairy tales, the naming ceremony goes ... well, slightly wrong.
The main problem is the guest list for the
Steven Harbin
Feb 13, 2010 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Recommends it for: fantasy lovers, fans of humorous fantasy, people who like satire
Pratchett satirizes vampire myth and legend in this Discworld novel. Actually one of the grimmer Discworld novels I've read. One of the Witches of Lancre sub set of the series, with all my favorite characters from those books, Granny Weatherwax, Nanny Ogg, her cat Greebo, Magrat, Agnes-Perdita all make their appearance. I recommend this one highly, but I think you need to have read the other "Witch" novels first, that would be Equal Rites,Wyrd Sisters, Witches Abroad, Lords and Ladies, and ...more
Mar 26, 2013 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: fantasy, 2019-shelf, humor
On this re-read, I'm going to revise my rating a star higher.

Why? Because I really enjoyed it. :)

Really, what else can anyone say about reading Pratchett? That they love the quips and the little funny wisdoms and the bloody-minded humor? Well, sure, all of that is grand, but pitting Granny against vampyres that have a bit of Weatherwax wisdom is a sure-fire way to make the sparks fly. And even mythological birds are still birds. :)

Stand-out scenes for me are the ones where Nanny Ogg becomes the
May 16, 2008 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Recommends it for: anyone looking for something funny
Shelves: comedy
The reviews here are quite varied on this book, they are all obviously written by Pratchett fans however one of the problems with being a Pratchett fan is that he has SO many novels that you are bound to find a few that aren’t your taste. I personally loved this book. My favorite of Pratchett’s creations include the Witches and the Guards series.

An attempt at a short summary:
The King of Lancre and his new wife the former Witch Margrat have their first child, and are holding the Christening
Mar 20, 2015 rated it really liked it
Shelves: fantasy

Another wild tale from Discworld. This one involves the witches, Granny, Nanny, Magrat and Agnes as well as a host of vampires, an insipid priest of Om, masses of wild little blue men and an angry Igor.

Magrat, now married to her handsome prince, the King of Lancre is now a mother and he has invited all and sundry, including the vampires to the castle for the christening. Once invited the vampires decide the castle is rather nice and start moving in their coffins.

As usual, lots of fun and witty
D.L. Morrese
May 19, 2011 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
I just finished re-re-re...reading this one. It's a pleasure each time. I am writing this on 18 March 2015. The incomparable Terry Pratchett died on the 12th. The news hit me much harder than I expected it would. I have spent a considerable amount of time in the Discworld Universe over the years. I kind of felt I knew Terry at some personal level after that, even though we never met. He was like a friend, a mentor, a philosophical relative...

Anyway, I needed some kind of catharsis after the sad
Jan 03, 2017 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Carpe Jugulum is the sixth and final book in the Witches subseries of Discworld. This has been my favorite Discworld subseries, mainly because Granny Weatherwax and Nanny Ogg have been so much fun, so I’ll miss it. This is also the first subseries I’ve completed, unless you count Ancient Civilizations which consists of two loosely-related books grouped under that heading in The Discworld Reading Order Guide.

The title is a pretty good hint about the story: Carpe Jugulum, seize the throat. I’ll
Apr 19, 2015 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: humor, fantasy
Part of the Pratchett reread with the SpecFic Buddy Reads group in 2019.

It's time for the naming of Magrat and Verence's new baby, and they've invited everyone. Including nobility from the neighboring country of Uberwald, who happen to be vampires, eh, vampyres, and who are very happy to exploit the invitation into the country of Lancre. Meanwhile the witches of Lancre are going through their own issues now that Agnes Nitt is the new witch in town and Magrat is now a mother, which leaves Nanny
David Sarkies
Jul 23, 2016 rated it liked it
This one's a bit batty
29 July 2016 - Frankfurt

I don't know what it is with these Terry Pratchet novels but I found it really hard to get into this one. Okay, while I do find vampire stories rather boring, and cliched, this is Pratchett, and he always seems to be able to add some new twists to the tired old stories that many of us shy away from. Okay, maybe it was because I started reading it on a plane, and continued reading it on a plane, and finished it off in Frankfurt while I was still
Trigger warnings: death of a dog, blood, fatphobia.

Favourite things about this book? Igor. Hodgesaaargh. Perdita doing handstands. The Nac Mac Feegle. Death being Death. Did I mention Igor? I really love Igor. I also love the old Count and his sporting approach to vampirism because it's delightful. And the name Cryptopher, because obviously.

This is probably still my favourite Pratchett book. HOWEVER. Rereading it this time, I couldn't help but notice JUST HOW MANY MENTIONS
I was in just exactly the right mood for this. And this was just exactly the right balance of satire, genuine laugh out loud humor, and sneaky pathos that I prefer in my Discworld books.

But, hey, is this really the last of the Witches books? Are they in the Tiffany Aching ones? I'm gonna miss these ladies. (Even Magrat. And hey, she's not too bad now that she's a mother. Much more forceful, and less of a limp dishrag.)

Firstly, this is a clever satire of vampire fiction. It was written before
SheriC (PM)
I can’t believe I just finished the last Discworld book in the Witches series. Dammit, why isn’t there more?!? Wait, I think there’s still a couple in the Tiffany Aching stories I haven’t read yet, maybe those count?

It didn’t take me long to progress through the first three of the five stages of grief. I may never reach Acceptance, though, because I am really going to miss Granny and Nanny Ogg and Magrat and Agnes/Perdita. Mostly Granny, though. I sure hope she makes some cameo appearances in
Kaethe Douglas
I've only read this one once before, and that ten years ago, so I didn't remember much, and didn't remember the Nac Mac Feegle were in it. And Greebo. Plus the whole Omnian question, and the christening. A delight, but by no means a simple one. Is there another writer who makes me feel so kindly toward other people? Dickens, Austen, Vonnegut all appeal to the same part of my brain, but none of them puts me in such charity with humanity, although Christmas Carol comes a close second.

Personal copy
Mar 30, 2015 marked it as dreaded-dnf  ·  review of another edition
I'm on the verge of a reading slump and just can't find anything that interests me.

I'm turning to my old familiar stand-by: short stories. I hope it works.

DNF-No Rating.
Yes, another Pratchett. I'm on a re-reading kick at the moment. Which is probably a mistake since my stack of books to be read next to my bed is currently in the region of 67. But Pratchett is one of my comfort reads, so I don't feel like apologising to myself too much.

Carpe Jugulum is one of my favourites of the series. The writing and the dialogue are as sharp as ever; the characterisation of the witches is spot on; and the humour is just the right mix of wryly witty and really, really bad
Now this was unexpectedly one of my favorites of the whole Discworld so far!

Below my two perhaps favorite citations from this one:

She'd changed as soon as the others had entered. Before, she'd been bowed and tired. Now she was standing tall and haughty, supported by a scaffolding of pride.


'It's not as simple as that. It's not a black and white issue. There are so many shades of grey.'



'There's no greys, only white that's got grubby. I'm surprised you don't know that. And
Like this book because,

1. Fat girls rule. Pratchett writes a real fat girl.

2. Vampires with bite!
Jan 22, 2013 rated it liked it
Shelves: humor, sf
Witches and vampires and priests, oh my! It's easy for me, when I'm not reading Pratchett at the moment, to remember how much silliness his books contain, but forget what great storytelling is in there too. But boy, when I'm reading it I sure remember.

This is a grand tale about some witches that live in a small kingdom on the rim of the Discworld, one of whom has married its progressive, modern king, and had a baby who's due for a christening. The king, wanting to expand the scope of his
May 16, 2011 rated it really liked it
Shelves: fantastical, funny
Between injuries and work and winter this took me forever to listen to whilst training, no review could possibly be valid after such a disjointed experience. Needless to say that I am fatter and less fit than when I started but I don't think that can possibly be the fault of five witches, an Omnian preacher, and a vampire invasion fleet. Or the potentialiality that this is the first book when Terry Pratchett knew about the disease that would wreck his brain, after reading him put the following ...more
Johara Almogbel
Apr 28, 2016 rated it it was amazing
Shelves: in-the-library
I have no idea how Terry Pratchett isn't more famous than JK Rowling. I love Harry Potter but that was one series that ended up getting screwed in the end while Pratchett wrote loads of books that never ever waver in quality and narrative.

Also, he happens to be one of the fairest people in character invention. Strong female heros who aren't pretty or thin and quirky and perfect? Yes please. Yes.
Nov 07, 2016 rated it it was amazing
The best book in the witch-series so far. So awesome! Must read.
Jan 18, 2012 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Well, this is an interesting conundrum - I would call this a 4* book overall, but it's not one of Pratchett's best, I'd say it's a 3* Pratchett. Benefit of the doubt it is, then. I'm in an optimistic mood.

So. He doesn't like organised religion much, does he? In 'Carpe Jugulum', vampires invade Lancre, and Granny Weatherwax spends a long time in a cave being serious. This is bad, or at least for the vampires, but good mainly because it gives Nanny Ogg a lot of page time, and I absolutely adore
Mar 17, 2008 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Terry Pratchett is hilarious, his prose is excellent, and to top it off, he's a prolific author, so if you're like me and always running out of reading material, reading everything he's written should keep you busy for a while.
This particular comedy is (as you may be able to discern from the title) about vampires. Vampires and a girl named Agnes Nitt, who struggles sometimes to suppress her alternate personality, Perdita. To paraphrase a quote from Pratchett, "Inside every fat girl is a thin
A.  J.
Dear Sir Terry,

There has never been a writer like you. You have left the Fantasy genre permanently damaged, wait, no ,I mean changed . You created the most amazing characters. They are not caricatures, which would be expected from a humorous novels. Instead you gave us complexity and hilarity. In other hands, Nanny Ogg would have just been comic relief. You gave us the Mrs Ogg.

Your plots may seem silly, occasionally, but that's half the point, isn't it? In their oddness, you gave us serious.
Book Wyrm
Aug 16, 2018 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: great-a-tuin
Though suffering from a slightly bumpy start, this is one of the better Witches' books, with some inner demons and hints at psychological issues, funny as hell lines, a coherent plot (which I was very greatful for after the muddled mess of The Last Continent) and Pratchett has given Agnes Nitt the considerably better story line and character she deserved after her subpar debut in Maskerade.
Oct 14, 2018 rated it really liked it
Good read as I do love most of the Witches books. Not the best but definitely not the worst and parts of excellent. Granny Weatherwax will always be a favourite!
Billy Young
Jun 21, 2018 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Granny storms off into the wilderness when she doesn't get an invite to the chrisening of the Kings daughter. Which leaves everyone in Lancre struggling to deal with the Magpyr invasion on their own. But the Count should have known better than cross a Weatherwax.
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Born Terence David John Pratchett, Sir Terry Pratchett sold his first story when he was thirteen, which earned him enough money to buy a second-hand typewriter. His first novel, a humorous fantasy entitled The Carpet People, appeared in 1971 from the publisher Colin Smythe.

Terry worked for many years as a journalist and press officer, writing in his spare time and publishing a number of novels,

Other books in the series

Discworld (1 - 10 of 41 books)
  • The Color of Magic (Discworld, #1; Rincewind, #1)
  • The Light Fantastic (Discworld, #2; Rincewind #2)
  • Equal Rites (Discworld, #3; Witches, #1)
  • Mort (Death, #1; Discworld, #4)
  • Sourcery (Discworld, #5; Rincewind #3)
  • Wyrd Sisters (Discworld, #6; Witches #2)
  • Pyramids (Discworld, #7)
  • Guards! Guards! (Discworld, #8; City Watch #1)
  • Eric (Discworld, #9; Rincewind #4)
  • Moving Pictures (Discworld, #10; Industrial Revolution, #1)
“And sin, young man, is when you treat people like things.” 296 likes
“Granny was an old-fashioned witch. She didn’t do good for people, she did right by them.” 109 likes
More quotes…