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How I Lost You

3.70  ·  Rating details ·  1,149 ratings  ·  145 reviews
There are a few things Grace Black knows for sure. One is that nothing will ever come between her and her best friend, Kya Kessler. They have a pact. Buds Before Studs. Sisters Before Misters. But in the summer before senior year, life throws out challenges they never expected. And suddenly the person who's always been there starts to need the favor returned. Grace and Kya ...more
Paperback, 309 pages
Published April 23rd 2013 by Sourcebooks Fire
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Average rating 3.70  · 
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 ·  1,149 ratings  ·  145 reviews

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Jul 17, 2012 rated it it was amazing  ·  (Review from the author)
I totally know what happens at the end of this one too. :)

Quick review for a quick read. In all honesty, I get the value of Janet Gurtler's "How I Lost You" and I'm not going to say that it isn't a notable book, because I don't doubt some will like it for not only the way the narrative flows but also the ultimate takeaway points and experiences it expounds upon. However, it's a narrative I honestly wouldn't read again and I had a hard time connecting to the story for reasons I'm going to discuss shortly.

"How I Lost You" is a narrative that shows the pr
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3.5 stars

Thank you Sourcebooks Fire for sending me this copy. No compensation was given or taken to alter this review.

How I Lost You is the first book I've read by Janet Gurtler. It will not be my last. Without reading the synopsis- I easily mistook this for a romance based story with all the crazy drama and cheesiness. This is not a love story. This is a novel about finding yourself. About letting go, about independence and about friendship. No matter how
Jan 16, 2018 rated it liked it

This turned out to be an OK book for me, a sort of 3 and 1/2 stars.

Buds Before Studs. Sisters Before Misters.

How many of us when younger thought we could live by those promises?

The thing is, as we get older, as we learn along the way and life experiences, they can change us, OK we are still 'us' but we may not have the same things in common any more or realise that we do want our boyfriend before the friendship, who knows.,

The book was well written and I did enjoy it on certain levels, its a bo
Definitely a dramatic and intense book about friendship and how far you are willing to go for someone you love. I loved it.. I just wanted Kya to see how destructive she really was and change. I guess this ended very realistically and I'm grateful for it. I've just never read a book where a character is this dangerous and narcissistic when it even comes to someone they supposedly love like their best friend. The way Kya treats Grace was just terrible. I'm super proud that Grace ends up making th ...more
Jenni Arndt
Apr 11, 2013 rated it really liked it
Shelves: arc-own
As a Canadian I am always quick to support Canadian authors, so last year when I found out that Janet Gurtler was not only from Canada but lived in Calgary, I was quick to pick up some of her books. Prior to HOW I LOST YOU I had only gotten to read one, WHO I KISSED and I have to say that HOW I LOST YOU blew that one out of the water. This was a novel full of characters that I connected to emotionally and at the heart of the story is one of the most wonderful family units I have had the pleasure ...more
Dec 16, 2014 rated it liked it
“I may not be happy with you right now, but I still love you.”
Thats how I felt reading this book.

At one point I was so mad at Kya I wanted to jump into the story and bitch slap her. But it didnt stop me from finishing it.

This book about letting go of your best friend, someone you thought would always be in your life no matter what.
It was ok. The paintball theme was resfreshing in comparison to the same old football/soccer/basketball stuff. The pacing was slow but it keeps you interested. It i
Stacey (Sassy Book Lovers)
Apr 15, 2013 rated it it was amazing
Shelves: blog-tours
Firstly I'd like to thank Jean BookNerd and Janet Gurtler for giving me the opportunity to join the tour and review this amazing book.

Now where to start...For me this book was a breath of fresh air, I've been reading so many young adult books lately and don't get me wrong, it's one of my favourite genre's. This book just brought something new to the table. Two best friends going through the hardships of life only to realise sometimes friendships don't last forever.

Grace and Kya are best friend
Jun 15, 2013 rated it really liked it
Romance takes such an important place in YA fiction (probably because it also occupies an important place in most of young adult and teens' minds!), that it feels like friendship is often the leftover theme of novels, served on the side when the story needs a little push forward. Yet I remember my teen years being intensely focused on my friends, with all the tears and laughter that involved.

In How I Lost You, Janet Gurtler turns things around by making Grace's friendships the heart of the story
Apr 13, 2013 rated it it was amazing
Shelves: books-i-own
After reading Janet Gurtler's I'm Not Her, I wasn't all that impressed with her book. I found the characters annoying and just couldn't get into the story. Despite that experience, I read the summary of How I Lost You and decided to give Janet's books another try. And I'm so happy to say this one ended up being fantastic!

Grace and Kya have been best friends ever since Grace moved in next door, and absolutely nothing can change that. Even when Kya acts out and seems to only care about herself, Gr
Mar 26, 2013 rated it it was amazing
Shelves: reviews
Grace and Kya are the true meaning of what best friends are. The pair does everything together, shares each other’s inner thoughts, and made it known that nothing will ever come between them. When their friendship presents an unexpected challenge, they began to question just what their friendship means and what it means for their future. Janet Gurtler’s very powerful story, How I Lost You, details the events of what extent a friend will do for another friend and the selfishness one friend can be ...more
Haley ~ YA-Aholic
Apr 25, 2013 rated it really liked it
Wow, wow, wow!! What an intense story about friendship, going into How I Lost You, I really didn't know what was going to come from it, I had never read a story that's main focus was around a friendship and I worried I would end up not enjoying it. Thank goodness I totally loved it!!

How I Lost You is through the eyes of Grace, Grace knows two things are for sure, 1. she wants to play paintball with the all female college team the Grinders and 2. that Kya Kessler is her best friend that she would
Joséphine (Word Revel)
For sports lovers, I'd say this is a good book. While the synopsis doesn't mention it, Grace and Kya are really into paintball. They play competitively and aim to be part the Grinders, an all-women's college team, when they leave high school. Grace's father owns a paintball place, so the two of them and their other best friend, James, spend their free time working there as well. Although, James isn't into playing paintball, the way the two girls are. Anyway, Grace has a very strong focus on pain ...more
Fida Islaih
Jun 28, 2013 rated it it was amazing
I love that it started of differently than other books and with an activity you wouldn't expect. I loved it like other little things. When she mentioned a certain kind of laugh I went back in time when I laughed like that with my own friends.

I loved that they had their friendship symbol and hugs like I have a friendly slap and hugs with my bestie.

I could already see that this story and friendship is going to make me cry. In the middle of the book I could feel the tears coming. I tried to hold
Tee loves Kyle Jacobson
How I Lost You is a story that has so many things in it that will surprise the reader. I love Janet's stories because she gives such a powerful message in the story that uplifts the reader and has teens looking at situations in a different light. This book is about friends and where friendships go and how they play out when on friend changes.

Grace and Kya are friends not only friends but best friends. They do everything together and they stick to the saying that friends come before anyone or any
Jan 25, 2013 rated it really liked it
My favourite Gurtler book so far! Interesting story with absorbing characters, and I honestly can't say I've ever read a story about female paintballers before.
Jun 20, 2013 rated it did not like it
Shelves: digital, arc, young-adult, 2013
Probably one of my least favorite YA books ever. Disliked everyone.
Dec 04, 2017 rated it liked it
Shelves: 2017
3 1/2 stars i wanted to love this book like I've loved some of her other books. But I just couldn't. A bit too much sport talk (although I like sports, just not this one), and I culdn't reallee connect with K.

There are a few things Grace Black knows for sure. One is that nothing will ever come between her and her best friend, Kya Kessler. They have a pact. Buds Before Studs. Sisters Before Misters. But in the summer before senior year, life throws out challenges they never expected. And suddenly
Apr 06, 2013 rated it really liked it
How I Lost You turned out to be a story about friendship, romance, and courage. What I liked about this one is that it's sole focus is the relationship between two friends, which isn't common among YA these days. You typically see romance-heavy issues in these types of contemporaries, but How I Lost You's outcome proved to be different. Even though I had some issues here and there, this one is an enjoyable read, with a good balance of sweet, adoring moments and serious, dark ones as well.

When I
Crystal ✬ Lost in Storyland
Every time I think that Janet Gurtler has wowed me, she does it again and better. What I love most about her writing is how she takes a relevant topic and makes it relatable to readers whether or not they've ever had to experience what the characters go through. More importantly, she writes about realistic teens that we can sympathize with. And this is what I look for in YA Contemporary.

I was especially excited to read How I Lost You because it's about two girl friends. While we all have them, o
Dec 23, 2012 rated it really liked it

Grace, Kya, and James have been best friends forever. Kya has had a troubled past with some painful secrets though, and as a result, acts out in wild and promiscuous ways, always getting herself into some kind of trouble. James is sick and tired of Kya’s behavior, but Grace refuses to give up on her, constantly defending her and supporting her, even though she doesn’t always deserve it. When things finally come to a head, and Kya reveals her true nature, Grace must decide what friendships a
Apr 11, 2013 rated it really liked it
How I Lost You was an extremely emotional read for me. I don't expect it would be that way for everyone, but would depend upon how much you connect with it and if you have had similar experiences. While my own experiences were very, very different, they were close enough that it really brought back a lot of what I felt as a teen. My best friend lived hours away so we only saw each other on occasional weekends and during the summer when I'd stay for extended periods. But she was the pretty one, s ...more
Jun 11, 2014 rated it really liked it
Buds before studs. That's the motto that has been Grace and Kya's motto, they've been best friends for many years and share everything including their serious love of paintball. They've planned their future to include a future with college and playing paintball on a team.
But how much is too much to accept from a friend? Grace is always there for Kya, many times at a personal sacrifice but is Kya there for Grace in the same way? Because of Kya's history and their being best friends so long, Grac
Nov 11, 2012 rated it really liked it
Shelves: 2013-ya-contempt
What I love about this story is that at its core this story is about friendship and the limits of friendship. Kya is on a downward spiral and Grace has always been the person to get Kya back on track. It's never really been a problem until Kya's actions start affecting Grace and Grace's future. Gurtler makes you really question when enough is enough?

How I Lost You is so poignant and there are so many hard hitting moments and moments that make you contemplate about when to let go. I really tried
Jenny / Wondrous Reads
Jun 05, 2013 rated it really liked it
Shelves: for-review, netgalley
How I Lost You was a real surprise find for me and I certainly wasn't expecting it to be as good as it was. I liked the sound of the intense friendship between Grace and Kya, and how that can take over your life, much like a romantic relationship can and does. It's an interesting dynamic to explore, though I tend to find that most YA books focus more on romance and the friendships get pushed to the wayside. Janet Gurtler has written an intelligent book about what happens when a friendship become ...more
Hannah McBride
Apr 28, 2013 rated it it was amazing
Shelves: ya-contemporary
Reading How I Lost You by Janet Gurtler was like that eerie feeling you get when someone crawled into your head and put your own memories to paper. Like Grace, I had my own best friend growing up that I gradually grew estranged from until I could barely see what remained of our friendship in the distance. I learned the hard lesson that sometimes you can do everything right and it still just isn’t enough. Like the journey Grace embarks on in this novel.

Grace is a fantastically bright, vibrant ch
Gabs {My Full Bookshelf Reviews}
This book was so good. I haven't read a Contemporary YA this wonderful in a long time, trust me. I finished it in a day, and barely ever stopped reading!

What makes this book so good are the characters. Their struggles and emotions are portrayed in a very realistic way. My Favorite character was definitely Levi.

Another thing I liked was the fact that the main characters, Grace and Kya, are female paintballers. I mean, when did you last read a book with female paintballers as the main characters?
May 08, 2015 rated it really liked it
In short, this book was amazing.

I loved the writing, connected with Grace and adored her so much, loved Levi, hated Kya, loved Grace's parents, loved the plot, couldn't stop reading for even a brief moment. It was amazing.

My only problem is that the ending feels somewhat unresolved... We don't know what happens to Kya, or Grace making the team, or if Steve will get in trouble... But even though that was my one major issue, the whole rest of the book deserved four stars.

This is a rare contempor

this was not a bad book. and in fact, it started off really promising. best girl friends who beat boys at paint ball! that's so cool! then it all goes downhill. the problem is that the end message of the book makes me REALLY MAD. is Kya the best behaved friend ever? no. but I'm MAD that (view spoiler)
Bacylia Ryals-cordova
Grace and her best friend Kya have a bond that seems unbreakable. Buds before Studs is the motto they live by. They spend everyday together but the summer before senior year might change it all. Sometimes they person who’s always the backbone needs a little support too. They wonder how much forgiveness can take place before it’s just too much. Will the answer be what they wanted it to?
This was my first read by Janet Gurtler. When I looked at the cover I thought it would be some boy meets girl t
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A Rita Award Finalist, Janet Gurtler's young adult books have been chosen for the JUNIOR LIBRARY GUILD SELECTION and as BEST BOOKS FOR TEENS from the Canadian Children’s Book Center. Janet lives in Okotoks Alberta, Canada with her husband, son, a chubby black Chihuahua named Bruce and a blonde golden retriever named Betty White.

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“I may not be happy with you right now, but I still love you.” 43 likes
“You don’t have to sleep with guys,” I whispered, “to make them like you.”

Kya stared at me for a moment with heavy eyelids. “You don’t get it, do you, Gracie? I sleep with them so they won’t like me.” My heart broke for her a little more.”
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