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The Asperkid's (Secret) Book of Social Rules: The Handbook of Not-So-Obvious Social Guidelines for Tweens and Teens with Asperger Syndrome
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The Asperkid's (Secret) Book of Social Rules: The Handbook of Not-So-Obvious Social Guidelines for Tweens and Teens with Asperger Syndrome

4.08  ·  Rating details ·  306 ratings  ·  26 reviews
Being a teen or tween isn't easy for anyone but it can be especially tough for Asperkids. Jennifer O'Toole knows; she was one! This book is a top secret guide to all of the hidden social rules in life that often seem strange and confusing to young people with Asperger syndrome.

The Asperkid's (Secret) Book of Social Rules offers witty and wise insights into baffling social
Paperback, 278 pages
Published October 15th 2012 by Jessica Kingsley Publishers (first published September 15th 2012)
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4.08  · 
Rating details
 ·  306 ratings  ·  26 reviews

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Laura Cushing
Aug 16, 2013 rated it it was amazing
Though the title says asperKID, this is useful for aspies of all ages. There are a lot of rules in here that made me go huh... so that's why people do that. I never really knew or understood the reasoning behind a lot of these odd little social things that people seem to do.

While I don't follow 100% of the rules outlined, I do agree that if I did it would help me navigate the NT world a lot easier. I know if sucked up my sensory issues and shaved my legs and wore makeup for example, I woul be mo
Mar 07, 2013 rated it it was amazing
As a parent of a child with ASD who is nearing teenage years I have read quite a few Asperger-themed books both non-fiction and fiction. Up until now the supreme bible/support has been Tony Attwood's The Complete Guide to Asperger's Syndrome but if your child is approaching adolescence this is the ideal book for parent and child to share.

Life for my son and other Aspies is like being thrust into a foreign land with no knowledge of the local dialect/customs or culture - something which would frea
Jun 15, 2013 rated it really liked it
Ever wish some kids just came with a manual? Well, here you go. Whether you have an Asperkid, teach Asperkids, or are an Asperkid, this is a must read. It gives common-sense (common to NT's, that's neuro-typical) guidelines for behaviors and interactions in the socially complex world. Some of the tips just didn't occur to me. Ie, you have to tell an Asperkid how close is too close. They don't have the comfort zone issues I have. Because they often don't perceive the emotional side of a situation ...more
Alice Lemon
This book looked promising, and I think it has some good advice, but it also had a lot of advice that struck me as very disturbing, such as that "authority figures" have automatically "earned your trust" by being authority figures. The author's chapter on dating is also terrifyingly heteronormative, and explicitly recommends traditional "chivalry," including examples such as a rule that men should always walk on the street side of the sidewalk, and claims that all women prefer men who behave thi ...more
Jan 07, 2014 rated it really liked it
Recommends it for: Therapists, Austistic people, Parents of autistic children
I use this book in therapy with teens with autism.
Aug 15, 2018 rated it really liked it
Bought this one for the 13-year old after careful consideration of several different options. There's a lot that I really like about this book. First and foremost, it's written by someone on the spectrum for kids on the spectrum. It's not meant to be for parents or teachers or adults (although seriously, there are several pages I'd like to print and frame and hang around my office); it's written for tweens and teens, which is great. I like how logically it's laid out, how easy to read, and how n ...more
Bethany Griffin
O’Toole, Jennifer C. (2012). The Asperkid’s (secret) book of social rules. Philadelphia: Jessica Kingsley Limited.

Type of Reference- Handbook

Content/Scope- Begins with a list of 125 ‘need to knows’. Ranges from making friends and social rules to hygiene and social space. Also lists helpful websites and books.

Accuracy/Authority/Bias- The author worked as both a social worker and a teacher in special education and mainstream education. She has won awards in her work with Asperger Syndrome.

Mar 18, 2014 rated it liked it
Shelves: autism-spectrum
I should probably give this book a higher rating - it's thoughtful, insightful and well written. I think my feeling about the book is more my own knee-jerk reaction to the reality that the rest of the world is operating on a very different set of rules from me, and I kinda deeply resent that. Universe? Are you listening? I'm not well pleased!

In fairness, Jennifer Cook O'Toole has written a really useful book that sheds light on a lot of mysteries about the way social conventions work for the maj
May 15, 2016 rated it really liked it
None of my children have Aspergers but my oldest has some learning differences so we read this together. Some if this may be obvious to most of us but I know plenty of adults who still don't get these rules. Wonderful book for all tweens
Glancing through this will make you wonder how any of us get along in the social world. Humans are hard, man.
Michelle Peach
Aug 24, 2018 rated it it was amazing
I bought this book several years ago before my son was old enough to read it. It's actually autographed by Jennifer when I met her along with Temple Grandin. I read it then and only recently handed to my son. As a teenager, he is now facing more and more social situations which he frustrate him and this book is one resource he can go to to seek an answer.
Wendy Tavares
Jun 09, 2017 rated it really liked it
I bought this for Matthew. He read it 3 times the day he got it. He said he loved that it was written by someone on the spectrum who "talks like I do." He keeps it nearby. High praise from him for something that doesn't involve video games!
May 11, 2018 rated it really liked it
I read most of this and encouraged my Aspie son to read it one chapter at a time. A book like this would have been helpful for me when I was in high school. Good, encouraging guidelines are offered for every day living and relating to others around the Asper-kid.
Mar 19, 2019 rated it really liked it
My son really like this book and found it very helpful.
Feb 03, 2018 rated it really liked it
This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here.
This is a fantastic book for tweens, teens, and adults with Asperger Syndrome. It's also good for other kids who want to understand American social rules better!
Dec 27, 2018 rated it it was amazing
lifesaving stuff
Aug 19, 2018 rated it really liked it
Definitely a good read for anyone to see what people with Asperger's might need to think about, also works with kids who don't have Asperger's but have social challenges.
Jan 14, 2013 rated it it was amazing
I read this slow on purpose. Its not a fiction book so it needs to be studied and reviewed after each chapter. That's what I did. I think this is by far the best book about Asperger's Syndrome. This is written for the Aspie person, but a non-Aspies, (or NTs- Neuro Typicals) can read it and get some clues as to what an Aspie is going through. It is written for tweens and teens but it doesn't matter how old you are when diagnosed this is a good first book.Since no book is ever written that fits an ...more
Aug 04, 2015 rated it really liked it
Lots of useful info for any age, though the chatty style (which wasn't aimed at me) was a little wearing, and almost an obstacle to starting the book. Lately I've been thinking I jumped to some incorrect assumptions when trying to imitate human social interactions, and here are some of them spelled out. Plus more that never occurred to me. Not quite a Missing Manual but a big help. If you look at it and think "but that's just common sense," you're even less the intended audience.

Suspended (overd
Jun 27, 2015 rated it liked it
Shelves: social-skills
So far, no social skills book is the encyclopedia that I wish for. I always hope that stuff could be like this one article on flirting I read a long time, where researchers counted the number of eyebrow raises in a bar.

This book is actually pretty awesome though. It discusses 7 levels of friendship closeness, and has a couple hundred social rules, 30 or 40 which are discussed in depth.
May 09, 2014 rated it liked it
My child is only 9, so he isn't quite ready for this book, and it clearly is written for the child, not the parent of a child with Asperger's. I enjoyed reading it and took a few notes, but as I said, this is definitely a great book for a tween/teen with AS.
I thought that this was a very good instructional book on social rules for aspies and people on the spectrum. I am a little beyond its target age group (it's mostly directed at teens and tweens) but the advice is pretty solid nonetheless. I wish that I had read it when I was younger.
Jan 26, 2013 rated it it was amazing
Real talk and useful approaches to helping spectrum kids navigate and negotiate social situations.
Jan 17, 2013 rated it really liked it
Good tips in this book for Asperkids and NT kids alike.
rated it really liked it
Jul 10, 2015
Jennifer O'Toole
Jan 25, 2013 rated it it was amazing  ·  (Review from the author)
Shelves: i-wrote-it
rated it really liked it
Apr 02, 2018
Richard Seeger
rated it did not like it
Feb 17, 2015
Hallie Jensen
rated it it was amazing
Oct 17, 2015
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