I LOVED the SVJH books when I was a kid. Born in 1987, I came too late in the game to dig the original Sweet Valley. It all seemed too stuffy to me. But late in 1999 and early 2000, I began reading the late SVH books (the miniseries) in addition to SVU (mostly), SVH Sr. Year, and SV Jr. High. Part of me really misses going into stores like Target and Wal-Mart and seeing the latest MK & A or Sweet Valley book. Those were good times. There are still quotes I will snark below (there always will be), but I always felt that SVH Sr. Year and Jr. High were a bit better and more elevated than the original cannons. Perhaps because Liz & Jess WERE less frightening as individuals in these books (and the first person narration) made it why not many people consider these to be cannon. Well, I do. Got a problem? It's refreshing not to read about Liz & Jess behaving as total lunatics for a change.
Who are Our Friendly Neighborhood Narrators?: Jessica, Elizabeth, Anna, and Salvador
Individual Synopses: Jessica: Jessica knows that she will LOVE SVJH. If you read SVT's "Good-bye, Middle School," than you know that certain families got "re-zoned" to Jr. High instead of SVMS. You also know that SVMS used to be called SVJH, so this makes no sense at all. Jess & Liz are now 8th graders, and they would have ruled the school at SVMS if they hadn't been re-zoned to SVJH, where 9th grade is the highest grade (my school used to be like that too). Everybody except Jess & Liz gets to stay at SVMS (hmmmm. Could be they got sick of the Wakefields?). So, no Lila. No Unicorns (thank GOD). But Lila does go shopping for an outfit in Seventeen with Jess the day before school. They buy a hideous, hideous plaid skirt (kilt) and a blazer, a vest... ugh. It's a mess. Jess actually wears it, thinking that Lila will too. Lila grows a brain and realizes how hideous the outfit looks and doesn't wear it. Liz doesn't have the balls to tell Jess that she looks incredibly stupid. So nothing has changed on that front. Because Jess thought she would love SVJH she, naturally, ends up hating it. Her locker partner is dorky Ronald Rheece, her kilt makes her a laughingstock, she actually doesn't know ANYONE (GASP), and she has to eat lunch with Ronald or else sit alone. Plus, she constantly talks about Lila to the most popular girls in school, Lacey and Kristin. You know from later on that Jess & Lacey are the Jess & Melissa of SVJH. Comically, she thinks she has a real shot at being friends with Lacey. After all, JESSICA called all the shots at SVMS. It ends with Lacey thinking Jessica's brother, Steven, is actually her boyfriend. Ay yi yi.
Elizabeth, Anna, and Salvador: Since Liz thinks she will HATE SVJH and leaving all her friends behind, she ends up LOVING it, natch. Her locker partner is the ultra-popular Brian Rainey, boyfriend of Kristin. Brian explains how the schedules work to Liz so she isn't lost. In her first class the editor of the school paper, Charlie, asks for new volunteers for five open positions on the Spectator. Liz raises her hand at the last minute. Her gym class is horrible, where there is actual mention of growing breasts and menstruation (things you just don't do in SV books!). Anna, a sweet Asian girl, is told to get a bra, and Elizabeth stands up for her. Liz ditches the class (for shame!) to go to the mall and help Anna buy a sports bra. They meet up with Salvador, who has been Anna's best friend since she was a wee tot. They watch movies together every Saturday. Anna and Sal invite Liz to get pizza with them at Vito's (no more Casey's, I guess). All three make the newspaper staff. Meanwhile, Salvador has a crush on Elizabeth, which becomes an increasing problem for Anna, especially when she catches Liz (who didn't know) and Sal at a concert together on a Saturday night. She throws Gatorade on both of them, and this causes Liz to get really upset with Sal, because he told her that Anna was fine with everything. Anna is also dealing with her brother Tim's passing, and this is a slow reveal and never said outright. All's well that end's well (for now) when Sal apologizes to Anna with a pepperoni pizza and Anna calls Liz over to join in the movie night as well.
Alternate Title
: "Life's Tough, Get a Helmet"
What's the Main Gripe?: Jessica thinks that she will love SVJH; Elizabeth is convinced she will hate it.
Lingering Questions: What are the names of the gorgeous twin models on the front cover? And why does SVJH suddenly exist when SVMS used to be CALLED SVJH (see SVT's "Claim to Fame")?
Cover: Good or Bad?: Excellent! The Jr. High and Senior Year twins look exactly like Liz and Jess should - too perfect, too pretty. They are all four gorgeous and yet normal looking at the same time. I was obsessed with this cover when I was younger.
Fantabulous Quotes (With Commentary): "'What do you think?' she asked eagerly. 'It was Lila's idea to get purple tartan instead of green and yellow.' Jessica twirled around, and I actually got a little nauseated from watching the green and purple in motion."
Whoever said that Elizabeth Wakefield doesn't have a sense of humor?
"'The second favor,' Brian said, 'is that I'd like to stick all our used chewing gum to the inside of the locker door so that we can use cultures from it for extra credit in biology next semester.'"
What?
"I'd forgotten how hard it is to walk up to someone and start a conversation as opposed to having THEM come up to YOU, which is how things usually went for me at SVMS."
Welcome to the real world, Jess.
"That made me feel really happy, although I guess you probably shouldn't get a good feeling from saying bad things about someone."
Nah, Liz, it's totally normal. I will let Jess explain that one to you.
"Today I would sit with the cool people. After all, I was one of them."
Jessica Wakefield, ladies and gentleman.
"I decided that Jessica was actually prettier than Elizabeth, but maybe that's because her eyes were so bright and her cheeks were flushed." -Anna
Salvador: "All I wanted to do was stand next to [Elizabeth] for the rest of my life."
Sounds like the general consensus.
Final Rating: Three stars. Jess & Liz are so much more tolerable in SVJH and SVHSY.