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K is for Knifeball: An Alphabet of Terrible Advice
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K is for Knifeball: An Alphabet of Terrible Advice

3.98  ·  Rating details ·  990 ratings  ·  122 reviews
From the authors of the breakout bestseller All my friends are dead. (more than 175,000 copies sold) and in the humorous vein of Go the F**k to Sleep comes a laugh-out-loud collection of bad advice that turns the children's alphabet book on its head. Adorable illustrated characters lead readers down a path of poor decision-making, and alphabetical, rhyming couplets offer t ...more
Hardcover, 80 pages
Published September 26th 2012 by Chronicle Books (first published January 1st 2012)
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Average rating 3.98  · 
Rating details
 ·  990 ratings  ·  122 reviews

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Jan 26, 2013 rated it really liked it
Hilarious starting with the Waiver. An excerpt from the waiver:

"By reading this, you agree that you will read this book, laugh at the jokes, buy a few copies for your friends, write a glowing review online, and, most importantly, not hurt yourself or someone else or both.

And if you do hurt yourself, you won't get a lawyer. And if you do get a lawyer, rest assured that we'll get 12 lawyers, all of them inside a giant coat, talking at the same time."
Larka Fenrir
Jul 14, 2018 rated it it was amazing
Shelves: fiction
The kind of book I'd buy for a child I love. And hate. But mostly love.

Seriously though, funnier than the All my friends... series!
Allyson Maclay
Jan 29, 2017 rated it really liked it
i loved this book it was really funny and would make a great coffee table book for people without kids
Dec 01, 2018 rated it it was ok
Shelves: 2018
The artwork is okay, but the humor was absolutely not for me. I really disliked it.
Jan 27, 2020 rated it liked it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: e-book
I love that this is labeled a children's book when it's clearly satire and as my sister pointed out should be read to older kid's.

I loved the humor in this starting from the beginning with a waiver. Yes a waiver! and then it gets to the alphabet and this is definitely not the one I grew up with especially the letter "D" which Drifter... really? 😂

This is definitely not for everyone but I found it to be funny and as I read it aloud to my sister, I found it to be even funnier.
Oct 14, 2019 rated it it was amazing
Omfg! This book was over the top and hilarious from beginning to end. When I thought it couldn't get any worse, it did! And I'm happy for it. Definitely not a book for kids at all. But a great adult humor book. Every one of the alphabet was my favorite and I'm still trying to figure out why there was a pickle at the end of the book. Randomness I guess which is awesome! ...more
Dec 06, 2019 rated it liked it  ·  review of another edition
Read the disclaimer ⚠️
Coyora Dokusho
I laughed at the illustrations, they were really funny!!! and the advice... the advice was so bad... so very, very bad... >.< but funny!!! and that's the important thing~ ...more
Isabel Smith
May 17, 2018 rated it really liked it
K is for Knifeball is a highly comical, what-not-to-do type of book. It would make a funny gift for a high school or college graduate, but don't even think about giving it to a graduating Kindergartener or anyone else in grade school. Not only will they not understand the type of humor it exudes, but they may also attempt to engage in some of the false advice mentioned in the book. We certainly wouldn't want that!

For adults, however, this alphabet book is hilarious and entertaining. It doesn'
Aug 12, 2018 rated it did not like it
I was originally going to write a rhyming review that would have been as long as the book, but then I realized the book wasn't worth it. It took me less than five minutes to read, and I regretted the time spent. Any book that has to start with MULTIPLE disclaimers not to do anything in it is going to have a hard time with me, and this 'parody' of children's alphabet books didn't do anything humorous enough to justify the warnings. It's cynical and unpleasant and the artwork is the best thing abo ...more
Joshua Gross
Feb 17, 2019 rated it it was ok
We have this sitting at the customer service desk at my work and I never paid any attention to it until today, when a coworker started reading it out loud and I instantly became alarmed that a child might find it and read it and sic their enraged parent on us.

This is a highly inappropriate alphabet book that seems to derive all its humor by telling 'kids' to do horrible things, like take in a drifter or write on the walls of their school. I appreciated some of the humor, particularly when the dr
Julio Biason
Jan 27, 2020 rated it liked it
Shelves: ibooks, fun
What would happen if you mix "Please Go To Fucking Sleep" with an ABC book? "K is for Knifeball".

It's a "for-kids-but-not-kids" kinda of book: For example, "D is for Drifter, which you should call to get in when your parents aren't at home" and "F is Food, which you should give for the drifter living under your bed" (or something around those lines)... Pretty much what "Go To Fucking Sleep" does.

Surely one wouldn't recite the book to a kid anyway, and being really short, I'm not sure about the r
Sep 14, 2017 rated it it was amazing
I honestly did a binge-read of Avery Monsen and Jory Johns's books, but I waited until after I got home from school to read this one and I legit almost peed my pants because I was laughing so hard. These people are dark humor geniuses honestly.

Overall, another 10/10 for these authors. They're seriously hilarious.
Nex Juice
Apr 12, 2019 rated it it was ok
I read 6 ridiculous "children's books" and of all of them, this was my favorite. I especially liked the recurring appearance of the Drifter (D is for drifter, who's out on your lawn. Bring him inside when your parents are gone...) He makes at least 2 more funny appearances that made me laugh.

Do NOT read this to your kids. It's so full of terrible ideas.
Dec 26, 2020 rated it did not like it
No! No, no, no! Terrible! Advice some kids listen to! Why is it a kid book? To dangerous! And it’s not even funny! Bad book. Zero stars. And to put knife in the name, no way! Even just the sample was bad. And the only thing I read was the sample. Sorry! But I may read it all one day, just don’t read it unless your 7+ pls!
Jan 24, 2019 rated it it was amazing
If you have a demented mind and think shenanigans are brilliant, then this ABC book is for you. Example: “C is for cop with a big shiny gun. Run up and tickle him, that’ll be fun.” Hahaha! Just a silly and wonderful book of everything not to do :)
Sep 11, 2019 rated it really liked it
Shelves: abc
Utterly hilarious, wildly inappropriate. Like, for everybody. I don't think I could even use this one for "Storytime for Grown Ups". I think the library would hang me out to dry. But it's soooo funny. I laughed and laughed. If you're into dark humor (VERY dark humor), give it a read. ...more
Sterling Emmal
Jan 23, 2020 rated it it was amazing
This book made my day. I couldn’t stop laughing for about twenty minutes after it was over. I think the level of dark comedy used was off the chart. I would give this book as a gift for a child who had parents that I couldn’t stand. (Just kidding. I wouldn’t. I’m not that maniacal.)
Feb 29, 2020 rated it really liked it
Obviously I don’t have children, but I have friends who do and they should probably read this. If you’re an adult who has read the same kid’s book 1947 times, this is a great book to break up the monotony and make you smile! Funny read. 😊
Alicia Evans
Full of morbid humor and bad advice, this book was pretty funny throughout. However, I think Q is meant to be a rape joke, which is not cool.

For: readers looking for a coffee table book full of morbid humor.

Possible red flags: blood; lies; death; rape (not depicted); etc.
Um...not sure how to describe this book. It's definitely for those who can laugh at the silly and absurd. Not for children who may take the advice given too literally. Could be a great gag gift for new parents (with a sense of humor). ...more
Le Petit
Feb 10, 2021 rated it it was ok  ·  review of another edition
One of those "not for kids" kids books. Not my type of humor but I didn't hate it, some of the letters were plain lazy like G, Q, and X. Liked the D (Drifter), his bits were the funniest.

2/5 - it takes 5 minutes to read *shrug*
Mar 10, 2021 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
A strange book of terrible advice in which the rhymes are either spot on or a bit half-assed (though those seem to be part of the punchline at times). Overall, a great read and an even better bedtime story for kids.
May 04, 2017 rated it liked it
Shelves: read-in-2017
Haha.. This is a book of some really awful advice, man!
Colin Anton
Jun 17, 2017 rated it it was amazing
Best kids book ever. Really.
Jul 19, 2017 rated it really liked it
🤣 Take a few minutes and read it, it's worth it 🤣 ...more
Sep 02, 2017 rated it did not like it  ·  review of another edition
Wish I'd skipped this

I wanted to use this with my students, but much of it is not school appropriate. I am quite disappointed.
Sep 02, 2017 rated it really liked it
Shelves: quirky
Oct 21, 2017 rated it it was ok
Nov 21, 2017 rated it really liked it
Wish I had this book as a child. Would have liked to see more of the drifter.
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Avery Monsen is a writer, actor, and artist who lives in Los Angeles. He illustrated and co-authored the national bestseller, All My Friends Are Dead, as well as I Feel Relatively Neutral About New York and K is For Knifeball. He’s also written for the television shows, Billy On The Street and Trip Tank. His writing and drawings have been published in McSweeney’s Internet Tendency, The Believer, a ...more

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