Praying in the Cellar: A Guide to Facing Your Fears and Finding God

by Anthony Delisi

We all hurt in various ways–pain from childhood, unspoken fears, memories that remind us of loss–but Anthony Delisi, a Trappist chaplain, teacher, and retreat leader for nearly sixty years, shows us how to bring all of these to God as we learn to pray “in the cellar.” This engaging guide to contemplative prayer will take you through the depths of what it really means to follow Jesus's instructions for prayer: “When you pray, go to your inner room, close the door, and pray to your Father in secret.” Fr. Delisi encourages us to accept Jesus' invitation to enter our interior cellar and in the darkness let our fears come to the surface. Along the way, he also shares his own experiences and reflections on his own journey toward discovering God's deepest healing, and love. This inviting and helpful book is for all of us who have had trouble praying because of memories, family, loves, and concerns.

151 pages, Paperback

First published March 1, 2005

Reviews

[Sandra · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was a sweet and gentle book; I don't think it's exactly what it's billed to be ("A guide to facing your fears and finding God") because it is comprised of journal entries, quite short entries at that --the very personal musings of one monk, Anthony Delisi, O.C.S.O. (Order of Cistercians of Strict Observance, which I never would have guessed in a million years, so I Googled it). Delisi sits every morning at 4:30 a.m., after Vigils (at 4 a.m. -- which includes reading scripture), and meditates on the scripture, his life, and his fears.

The first two parts, Encountering God in the Cellar and Encountering God in the Darkness, were both enjoyable and frustrating. Enjoyable because Delisi's musings are interesting and his writing voice very thoughtful and calm. Frustrating because this clearly is not a "guide" to anything, but one man's musings on his life, and because He spends the first 61 pages (of only 144) going on and on about his fears of the dark, of the cellar (or "banana room") which was used to discipline him and his unruly brothers, of other sort of trite things -- at least to me. So I was thinking, "Wow, this guy has had such a sheltered life all he was ever afraid of was the dark."

Then on page 62 -- finally! -- he gets to the crux of things:

I have entered this banana room at Your invitation, Father, and now I feel the invitation of your Holy Spirit to enter into the aging and the dying process without fear. I got from this banana room into the tomb of death to there away with Jesus, Your Son, the summons to come forth into the Dawn. Slowly my faculties have begun to fall apart--my hearing, my vision, my memory--what's net? All this precedes me as I prepare to enter into the night of death and there to await the Dawn.

And Delisi's faith is such that even when he confronts such fears, his faith always seems to win out (that last quote ended with a little prayer: "Here, Father, I trust in Your mercy./Here, brother Jesus, I trust in Your compassion./Here, Holy Spirit, I rest in your abiding love./To enter into the darkness of Your Being is to see the light.").

So this is a lovely, inspiring little book that certainly encourages readers to enter their own "banana room" and entrust their fears with God in prayer and meditation (meditation, as in "meditating *on* something," not meditation as in Centering Prayer, Zen meditation, etc.; although Delisi also alludes to his practice of Centering Prayer or something like it). It is definitely inspiring in that way; I keep thinking I might wake up at 4:30 and do my own meditation in the early morning, find my fears (which often, I think, are quite buried), and just feel them, all in the context of prayer.

And I might just do that. And if I do (the big "if"), I'll have this book to look back on and perhaps inspire me a little.

[Liz V · Rating 3 out of 5]

Love Fr Anthony!