What do you think?
Rate this book
Ben's Flying Flowers
Foreword Book of the Year Finalist. Nautilus Award for Children's Picture Book (Silver).
Ben’s Flying Flowers beautifully characterizes a child’s common emotional reactions when a sibling dies and pays specific attention to the child’s experience by way of explanation, imagery, and healing messages. Day after day, Emily draws pictures of dark clouds with rain, and houses with tiny windows and doors. She misses her brother Ben so much and feels like she can never draw happy pictures again. After losing Ben following a long illness, Emily feels alone, angry, and very, very sad. With the understanding and support of her parents, Emily learns that it helps when she snuggles with her parents. It helps when she talks about her feelings and asks questions about Ben. And it helps when she does regular kid stuff, too. The death of a child is an extremely tragic and difficult experience for a family. Parents trying to manage their own grief must also provide support and guidance to the surviving children in the family. And, when a child dies, siblings may temporarily “lose” their grieving parents. Children may try to take care of their parents or attempt to show unusually good behavior. Or often, children worry about asking questions or expressing emotion, thinking that would make their parents too sad.
In Ben's Flying Flowers , Emily learns that expressing her feelings and asking questions about Ben’s death can be helpful, as can doing normal every day activities. She comes to understand that remembering happier times with Ben soothes sad feelings and provides much comfort to her and her parents.
A Note to Parents describes the psychological issues that children confront when a sibling dies, and offers practical strategies and guidance to parents for navigating the child and their family through the grieving process.
Ben’s Flying Flowers beautifully characterizes a child’s common emotional reactions when a sibling dies and pays specific attention to the child’s experience by way of explanation, imagery, and healing messages. Day after day, Emily draws pictures of dark clouds with rain, and houses with tiny windows and doors. She misses her brother Ben so much and feels like she can never draw happy pictures again. After losing Ben following a long illness, Emily feels alone, angry, and very, very sad. With the understanding and support of her parents, Emily learns that it helps when she snuggles with her parents. It helps when she talks about her feelings and asks questions about Ben. And it helps when she does regular kid stuff, too. The death of a child is an extremely tragic and difficult experience for a family. Parents trying to manage their own grief must also provide support and guidance to the surviving children in the family. And, when a child dies, siblings may temporarily “lose” their grieving parents. Children may try to take care of their parents or attempt to show unusually good behavior. Or often, children worry about asking questions or expressing emotion, thinking that would make their parents too sad.
In Ben's Flying Flowers , Emily learns that expressing her feelings and asking questions about Ben’s death can be helpful, as can doing normal every day activities. She comes to understand that remembering happier times with Ben soothes sad feelings and provides much comfort to her and her parents.
A Note to Parents describes the psychological issues that children confront when a sibling dies, and offers practical strategies and guidance to parents for navigating the child and their family through the grieving process.
32 pages, Hardcover
First published April 15, 2012
Ratings & Reviews
Friends & Following
Create a free account to discover what your friends think of this book!
Community Reviews
Displaying 1 - 30 of 30 reviews
April 4, 2024
➳ 3 ⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚
i remembered reading this book as a child and i have been looking for it for years. i half convinced myself i made this up but hey i found it and it was still just as i remembered 🫶
୧ ‧₊˚ 🍓 ⋅ ☆
i remembered reading this book as a child and i have been looking for it for years. i half convinced myself i made this up but hey i found it and it was still just as i remembered 🫶
୧ ‧₊˚ 🍓 ⋅ ☆
July 12, 2016
A beautifully illustrated picture book about a difficult subject. Told from the perspective of a little girl who's little brother is very ill, and eventually passes it handles the topic gracefully and would be useful in every children's library collection.
August 18, 2019
There is a place for this type of book, but I'm not sure if this particular one executes the story well. It seems to skip over much of the actual grief process. One minute (in the story, the timeline is very inexact) Emily is angry and sad and can only draw dark pictures; the next minute, she is healing and can be happy. It doesn't really acknowledge that grief is a process that is not linear. This is a pretty secular book, and I appreciated that it doesn't talk about heaven, but rather focused on remembering the person who has died.
August 11, 2023
This was my favorite book to read with Aurora after my son/her brother Nox died for the following reasons:
Same birth order, almost the same ages
The shared love of drawing
Experience with seeing her brother in the hospital
This book shows raw/fresh grief, the anger of grief, use of walking in nature/love of butterflies as coping mechanism, that sadness of grief can wax and wane, coping by talking to loved ones
Same birth order, almost the same ages
The shared love of drawing
Experience with seeing her brother in the hospital
This book shows raw/fresh grief, the anger of grief, use of walking in nature/love of butterflies as coping mechanism, that sadness of grief can wax and wane, coping by talking to loved ones
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
October 23, 2020
چند وقتی میشه که کتابهای کودکی که با موضوع مرگ هستند رو لیست میکنم و میخونم. این کتاب درمورد دختریه که برادر کوچیکش رو از دست میده. نیاز به گفتن نیست که بیشتر کتابهای این لیست به راحتی اشک منو درمیارن. ولی سوالی که دارم اینه که این کتابها رو چه زمان برای بچهها باید خوند. قبل از فقدان؟ بعد از مواجه شدن باهاش؟ اگر کسی اطلاع بهتری داره کمکم کنه.
October 1, 2017
A heart-warming and sweet way to discuss/introduce the topic of death to children
November 22, 2017
A book about a little girl who looses her brother to an illness. Very sad, but an example of how to remember your loved one after a loss.
August 30, 2020
Do you know some other children books about death ? It's for a little girl with lots of problm after her little sister passing away. Thanks.
January 28, 2023
The death of a younger sibling is rarely addressed in books for this age group.
Ben's illness and eventual death are sensitively portrayed.
Ben's illness and eventual death are sensitively portrayed.
July 3, 2023
Pretty sweet, and I'm guessing mostly accurate to similar families. Only 3 stars because it didn't have anything incredible to me. Just nice and appropriate for the right audience.
May 16, 2024
Resource Death and Dying
November 22, 2024
این سوگ، برای من سوگ آشنایی بود. اما از جایی که سوگ یکدفعه رو به حل شدن رفت، احساس سکتهی شدیدی در روند داستان کردم. از آنجا به بعد دیگر قصهای گفته نمیشد. حرفهای روانشناسی بود که زده میشد.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
Read
June 24, 2025بیشتر یاد گرفتم که اگر چنین اتفاقی افتاد، برخورد درست با کودک چیه.
November 3, 2015
Ben's Flying Flowers is a book about a younger girl and her brother Ben. Ben is sick (specific disease/illness unknown to the reader) and goes to the hospital a lot. Ben and the young girls favorite thing to do is look at the butterflies which Ben calls "flying flowers." Ben eventually passes away and the young girl becomes very upset. The rest of the book is her learning to deal with the death of her baby brother and learning how to remember him in a positive and happy way.
Ben's Flying Flower is a book that could definitely fool you if you're one of those people who selects books just by the cover. I went into this book not knowing what this book was about. I thought this book might have been about nature and what the character on the front cover does to help the environment. This book was definitely not a book I would choose to read just for fun to kids. I would only recommend reading this book to families who have little kids who are struggling with the passing of a sibling. Even then I would highly recommend the parent/adult reads the book first to see if they feel comfortable with the way it talks about this subject. The illustrations in this book are done in black and white except for the immediate family and butterflies. The family and butterflies are drawn in bright and beautiful colors providing a contrast.
Ben's Flying Flower is a book that could definitely fool you if you're one of those people who selects books just by the cover. I went into this book not knowing what this book was about. I thought this book might have been about nature and what the character on the front cover does to help the environment. This book was definitely not a book I would choose to read just for fun to kids. I would only recommend reading this book to families who have little kids who are struggling with the passing of a sibling. Even then I would highly recommend the parent/adult reads the book first to see if they feel comfortable with the way it talks about this subject. The illustrations in this book are done in black and white except for the immediate family and butterflies. The family and butterflies are drawn in bright and beautiful colors providing a contrast.
January 3, 2014
Produced by the American Psychological Association, this book about the death of a sibling leaves much to be desired, as most "industry" books do.
Siblings Emily and Ben love watching and chasing the butterflies. But Ben is very sick and so tires easily. Over time, Ben becomes home-bound and Emily begins drawing pictures of butterflies for him to enjoy. Then Ben becomes too sick to remain at home and travels to the hospital for the last time. Emily becomes enraged at the death of her brother and refuses to draw any "happy" pictures. Eventually the family works through their grief and life returns to a new sense of normal.
This book is poorly written with clunky text and timing issues; for example, readers learn on the first page that Emily is 7-years-old but have to wait until page 12 that Ben is going to be 4. Some text is large and bold, but there seems to be no system or reason for this. The illustrations are attractive, but the coloring of ALL the people is strange, not just the sick little boy.
Recommended more for school counselors and therapists than a public or school library.
Siblings Emily and Ben love watching and chasing the butterflies. But Ben is very sick and so tires easily. Over time, Ben becomes home-bound and Emily begins drawing pictures of butterflies for him to enjoy. Then Ben becomes too sick to remain at home and travels to the hospital for the last time. Emily becomes enraged at the death of her brother and refuses to draw any "happy" pictures. Eventually the family works through their grief and life returns to a new sense of normal.
This book is poorly written with clunky text and timing issues; for example, readers learn on the first page that Emily is 7-years-old but have to wait until page 12 that Ben is going to be 4. Some text is large and bold, but there seems to be no system or reason for this. The illustrations are attractive, but the coloring of ALL the people is strange, not just the sick little boy.
Recommended more for school counselors and therapists than a public or school library.
October 30, 2015
I don't remembering having books like this during my childhood, it amazes me that we can truly turn to books in hard times. Her little brother Ben was sick and what made him happy was different color butterflies so his sister drew with him one everyday to make him happy. Then one day Ben never came back from the hospital, passed away and she had a hard time cooping in the beginning and she just wanted to draw dark pictures, then one day she saw a butterfly and at that moment she realize that her littler brother will always be with her. Books like this can actually help children going through similar situation and know that there not the only going through it. It's important for parents, teachers and family member to be very sensitive to childrens feeling when they lose someone they love. Even for an adult losing a love one is hard and seems that you can never recover from it, just imagine what a child going through. What I like about this book is that at the end of the story there are strategies to help children coop with losing someone close to them. Parents probably don't know where to get help and this book helps you find help.
October 30, 2015
This is a children's picture book called "Ben's Flying Flowers" by Inger M. Maier. It is about a girl and a boy who are siblings. They have fun together and they like to watch butterflies play. They draw pictures of the butterflies together. One day, the brother stops being as interactive and starts getting quite. Soon, he becomes sick and can't play with her anymore. I really enjoyed this book. The sister and the brother have a great relationship and the sister gets very said when Ben can no longer play like he used to. It is an emotional book. It is a good story if there has recently been a death in the family and a child needs to learn what death is. I recommend this book to anyone who is grieving or just wants to read a good story.
April 25, 2013
This book about understanding the death of a sibling is a little wordy for my taste but because there is a demand for books like this I think there's a place for it in a library collection. The pictures are simple and delicate and the back matter will be helpful to parents who are trying to help their child understand this sensitive subject. As with all books about sensitive issues I suggest parents read through it first before using it with a child.
August 9, 2012
Tough Issue: Death of a family member (little brother)
For the depth of the issue, and the shortness a picture book, Maier has written a touching story of loss and moving on from the perspective of an older sister.
For the depth of the issue, and the shortness a picture book, Maier has written a touching story of loss and moving on from the perspective of an older sister.
March 26, 2013
In this book about dealing with grief and talking to children about death, seven year old Emily deals with the deal of her brother and the fact that it makes her not want to draw anything happy anymore.
June 19, 2013
Read blindly & oh my goodness, soooooo sad. Kids in story same age as mine & I almost couldn't make it through it. Obviously great for the purpose of helping a surviving sibling get over the loss of a sibling, but not to be read just for enjoyment!!
December 21, 2015
Emily introduces her younger brother, Ben, to butterflies, which he calls "flying flowers," and when his illness makes him too weak to go see them she draws him pictures, but after his death she no longer wants to draw happy things. Includes note to parents.
August 27, 2012
A little girl grieves the death of her younger brother.
July 9, 2013
Touching story of a girl whose little brother calls butterflies 'flying flowers' and dies unexpectedly. Wonderful picture book for someone coping with death.
September 13, 2016
I thought this book was too forward. I didn't think it would be very interesting to children.
October 17, 2016
This story is about bereavement of a sibling and how to help kids deal with loss. I thought it was rather lovely and the artwork fits in with the theme and mood of the story.
June 8, 2026
#terminalillness
August 8, 2013
A sister loses her brother to a serious illness and learns to cope.
April 23, 2015
3.5 stars
April 17, 2017
A valuable book for children dealing with loss and grief. I appreciate that the author didn't reference heaven when the little girl asked where her brother was.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 30 reviews