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Tender Warrior: God's Intention for a Man

4.17  ·  Rating details ·  843 ratings  ·  71 reviews
Leader. Protector. Friend. Lover.

God made you to be each of these…and much more. Stu Weber ’s bestseller, now revised throughout and refreshed with an attractive new look, paints a dramatic and compelling picture of balanced manhood according to God’s vision. Written in a warm, personal style, Weber presents the characteristics of tender warriors—including learning to spe
Paperback, 264 pages
Published July 19th 1999 by Multnomah (first published 1993)
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J. Wootton
Sep 24, 2020 rated it liked it
Shelves: childhood
I owe this book a re-read; I was probably twelve my first time through. I remember it as a book that might now be characterized as "evangelicalism's counter to mainstream toxic masculinity." Evangelical culture has, of course, its own breeds of toxic masculinity, but if memory serves (I hope it does) you'd find no support for that kind in Weber's book either.

It ought to go without saying (but probably doesn't) that any book which isolates men or women, or compares/contrasts them, in order to pr
Sep 04, 2008 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Recommended to Cesar by: Sam
WOW!! I am fired up to become a Tender Warrior. This is one of the most influential pieces of literature I have ever read (not that I have read many books as you can see by my collection here, but just hear me out). Stu Weber has griped my heart and my soul and has given me my VISION my PURPOSE in life. Every great company has a vision or a mission statement and I believe that every Man/Family should have one too in order to be successful. In the words of the apostle Paul, “For to me, to live, i ...more
Jeff Roper
I had high hopes for this use it as a read for a men's study group...and it has discussion questions at the end of the chapter...BUT...too fundamentalist in its approach. It elevates archetype and makes it seem a pre-ordained way God created man, then woman as a second rate citizen, from the rib of a man, as the helpmate for her "king." Putting down the role of women in ministry may have been expected in the Old Testament but Jesus in the NT empowered women for ministry, would not reco ...more
Michael L Gowens
Feb 18, 2018 rated it really liked it
Even a cursory look at popular culture reveals that masculinity is under fire on every front. The old manly virtues of courage, honor, perseverance, responsibility, integrity and reverence are increasingly disparaged in favor of sensitivity and emotional intuitiveness. Perhaps men are to blame for this war on masculinity. Men have dropped the ball. We’ve let down our families in favor of our “careers,” our hobbies...our selfish passions. Unfaithful husbands and absentee fathers have left a vacuu ...more
Richard Angelus
Nov 08, 2019 rated it really liked it
I'm a Malaysian. To be honest, it's tough being a man especially in a culture that isn't sure what manhood means. In 2013, a research* have been published by BioMed Central Ltd. about the perception of masculinity in Malaysia by interviewing 34 young Malaysian university men (aged 20–30 years) shows that their ideas of manhood are: "having a good body shape"; "being respected"; "having success with women"; "being a family man"; and "having financial independence."

Read those concepts or meanings
Tim Murphy
Mar 22, 2020 rated it it was amazing
A profound exploration of what it means to be a man; a book of great value to our current culture.

Stu Weber, a warrior in the US Army during his young manhood and a long-time spiritual warrior as a pastor in Oregon describes manhood as the right mix of tough and tender. Having explored the definitions, he then applies that to a man’s key relationships: his lady, his children and his friends, before two challenging chapters on finishing well. All of these are supported by rich storytelling both
Isaiah Gray
Feb 03, 2019 rated it really liked it
Whenever a pastor tries to write a “manhood” book, so many times it misses the mark in incredible ways. Stu Weber also missed the marks at times but what I absolutely loved, that I haven’t seen in other books like this, is his heavy use of the scriptures. And not out of context snippet verses, but stories and chapters and raw un-edited scripture about men in the Bible, specifically Jesus who is the sole man we should strive to imitate. Great great book!
Ryan Ohlson

Stu cuts through the fluff and gets right to the point. His stories connect sound Biblical teaching to practical walk-it-out directions for men. Every man should read this book for himself, and then read it again with a group of guys. The questions and exercises at the end of each chapter will stretch you and strengthen the bonds you have with those in your group. Seriously. Don’t wonder what to read next. Pick this book up, read it, and follow Stu’s advice!
Trudy Pomerantz
May 15, 2017 rated it really liked it
An excellent book - in my opinion better than Patrick Morley's "The Man in the Mirror" What is a real man? Looks at Scripture - a real man is a king, warrior, friend. They are to protect (hence boys will play with guns), lead, prepare children for adulthood (be ready to let them go), need for friendship with fellowmen. ...more
Apr 18, 2019 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Stu Weber is what anyone would call a real man's man! A Veteran Army Ranger of the Vietnam War and pastor of a church, he knows what it takes to be a man, and he challenges all men who would read this. It is supremely necessary in the 21st century, but it will be applicable for generations to come. He bases the characteristics of being a man on Jesus Christ, with biblical support. ...more
Joshua Lagan

Good portrayal of men and their need to provide vision, lead, and protect. i feel like i have a better idea of how to work and live as a man. But i was very disappointed in his portrayal of women. It felt shallow, stereotypical, and at times sexist. There are many types of men and women, and you don't need to follow traditional gender roles to be a Christian.
Joshua Douglas
Jul 19, 2017 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Worth the Read!

Great book for any man wanting to find out how to live out their God-given purpose. This book shows how the elements of King, Warrior, Mentor, and Friend are pivotal in that purpose.
Chase Haberland
Jun 06, 2018 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
This book is a good opportunity to take a step back and look at what it means to be "a man of God." Whether you are married, dating, single, or somewhere between the helps examine the heart of manhood. ...more
Vernon Maxxwell
Nov 27, 2018 rated it liked it
Heavy emphasis on Christian religious values backed by biblical principles. Still a great read for any modern man questioning his aim in society and life. If one can suspend judgment of the religious undertones, there are solid principles.
May 28, 2017 rated it it was amazing
Fantastic book. Worthy of repeat reads!!
kelsey nunley
Jul 31, 2018 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Amazing read!

Excellent book! Great biblical references that the info everyday life. I would highly encourage other men to read this. Stu Weber is an excellent author.
Stephen Carrier
Aug 12, 2018 rated it it was amazing
Awesome book!
Connie Jefferies
Aug 27, 2019 rated it really liked it
This was written for men but gave the best inside on men. I recommend women to read it just so you know what REAL man is like...
Justin Bryan
Aug 16, 2020 rated it it was amazing
Excellent read, I read this with my brother and it was very fulfilling.
Apr 18, 2021 rated it it was amazing
Great book, full of biblical wisdom. Wish I'd read it as a younger man. ...more
May 08, 2021 rated it it was amazing
By far one of the greatest Christian Men books out there. Mr. Weber does an amazing job describing our role as men within our homes, friendships and communities.
Adam Fehr
Nov 03, 2019 rated it really liked it
A book full of lots of good tips for men. One thing I really appreciated was the focus on how often we men have difficulty forming relationships because we aren't vulnerable. Transparency is a rare virtue that I want to emulate. This book accurately shows what real men are like. ...more
Jun 15, 2012 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Tender Warrior is about striving to become the king, warrior, mentor, and friend to our wife and children. Men can sometimes get so caught up in trying to work so hard to provide for their families. They don't spend enough time in building and maintaining the role their family needs them to fulfill. A man must have a vision for the future of their family. It's important to share our dreams with our wife and we need to listen to her dreams. Weber believed in keeping his word and promises and pass ...more
Daniel Butcher
Stu Weber in Tender Warrior provides a description of Biblical manhood. Weber reinforces what other author’s have also brought forward, there is an absence of real men in our society. He then proceeds to provide a detailed summary of what a real man should be. He discusses the need for men to have both strength and be able to show tenderness to those they love. He explores how a real man interacts with his spouse, providing both provision and understanding. This is followed by an in-depth discus ...more
Audrey Grant
Nov 24, 2011 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: own
This book is written so well. It is written by a man to men. But as a wife and mother, when I read it, I was amazed at how insightful this book is! Stu Weber is right on target when he describes how a man needs to be strong while remaining loving toward his family! A leader and protector and yet a heart of gold! Understanding and there for his family without being a push-over!
My husband, brother and brother-in-laws all now own a copy! This book is a must for every Christian man in my personal op
Jun 01, 2012 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
WaterBrook Multnomah Publishing Group sent me a complimentary copy of this book for my review. When you hear the words “tender” and “warrior” together, it paints an interesting picture. How can a warrior truly be a warrior and be tender? Stu Weber’s 1993 (published again in 1999) book Tender Warrior seeks to inform the reader what it means to be a real man. In a society where it is the norm for children to not know their father, Weber is one who challenges the male population to stand up and be ...more
Jason Craig
Good book. Actually did this one via audio book from Probably the best break down of a mans responsibilities, I wouldn't read it in isolation though it is light on scripture and leaves gaps that need to be filled in. If you can find the audio sermon "What is a man to do?" by Chip Ingram (Living on the Edge) I would highly recommend it, "The Four P's: Is He Ready to Lead?" by Dr. Voddie Baucham is also a good audio sermon (available from

Great break down of what th
Tony Cavicchi
In a conversational tone, Stu Weber walks through what he characterizes as the four roles of a man: "King" with qualities of order, mercy, and justice, "Warrior" who defends and guards based on foresight and moral principle, "Mentor" who teaches life to others by example, and "Friend" who with others deeply. As a millenial, I felt some examples were dated (book originally published in 1993) but you understand Stu as a man by the end of the book (also how he was shaped in many ways by Army Ranger ...more
Jun 12, 2008 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
An excellent book with a Christianity base about what it takes to be a real man. So many men have difficult expressing their feelings for fear of appearing weak.

Weber shows how men can "still be men", but also that showing their tender side is not a sign of weakness. There are many pearls of wisdom throughout the book on how to be a friend, a husband and a father. Incorporating scripture throughout the book makes it a great guide for any man..but especially a father to a son.
Donald Parker
Jan 05, 2012 rated it it was amazing
I read this book because my girl friend suggested it. I loved the title since I've always pondered the paradox of Christian soldiers combined with the love of Jesus. Weber did a wonderful job of explaining the blueprint for a Godly father and husband. Unfortunately I didn't discover this book earlier in life. Hopefully it's not too late to utilize the wisdom I gleaned from it. This is a book that all Christian males should read.
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“The Warrior function is…unmistakable in Scripture…Within the epistles, the mature believing man is often described in militant terms–a warrior equipped to battle mighty enemies and shatter satanic strongholds.

The heart of the Warrior is a protective heart. The Warrior shields, defends, stands between, and guards…He invests himself in “the energy of self-disciplined, aggressive action.” By Warrior I do not mean one who loves war or draws sadistic pleasure from fighting or bloodshed. There is a difference between a warrior and a brute. A warrior is a protector…Men stand tallest when they are protecting and defending.”
“Dad, seeing me start to drop back, reached out his hand to me. His eyes said, Grab hold. Let's run together. Still running, my little hand slipped inside his larger one. It was like magic! His power lifted me right off the ground. I took off in his strength. My speed doubled because my dad had hold of me.” 2 likes
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