I Want to Complain : An Alternative Guide to Customer Service

by Peter Nuttall

Have you got something to complain about? Have you been short changed? Have you complained and got nothing but hollow apologies? Are you due compensation? Then this book could help. Instead of writing letters using red biro and block capitals, underlining every other word, swearing at inappropriate places and writing key words twice as big, follow the 'I want to complain' philosophy and make your letters entertaining; make the person dealing with your complaint want to help you instead of shoving your letter under the pile of others they have to deal with that day and getting to it 'later'. With eight years experience in a customer management role for a multi-national retailer, Peter realised that it was the light-hearted, entertaining letters that received the most satisfactory resolutions. 'I want to complain' explains exactly what life is like on the other end of the call-centre telephone and just how to ensure your complaints are dealt with as a priority. The second section of the book contains a collection of genuine complaint letters Peter has written over the years using the philosophy laid out in the first section, along with their replies so you can see for yourself just how it works. Those companies written to include Marks and Spencer, Tesco, Asda and even Newcastle city council to get a parking ticket revoked - all with positive resolutions. 'I want to complain' hopes to put the 'fun' into refund and the 'jest' into goodwill gesture as it takes you on an entertaining and humorous journey into the world of customer services.

Genres: Nonfiction, Humor

92 pages, Paperback

First published May 6, 2011

About the author

I write about things that make me laugh. I write things I'd like to read if other people had written them. I write about things I know, things I've actually done or been around and involved in. I was Chairman of the Washington Theatre Group which gave me a chance to 'persuade' the group to perform some of the plays I'd scribbled down when I really should have been doing other things. When they were well received by audiences it spurred me on to write more. My first play 'Cinderella and the Pantomime Thief' was published by Lazybee Scripts in 2005.

After writing a few more stage-plays I turned my hand to non-fiction, drawing on my experience as a Complaints Manager for the now sadly defunct MFI (which may or may not have had something to do with the amount of money I gave to customers to pacify their complaints) for my book 'I want to complain : an alternative guide to customer service' which was featured on BBC Radio 4's Susan Calman feature 'The art of Complaining' in December 2011.

I'm grateful to each and every person who buys and reads one of my books. The positive feedback I receive makes every 3am 'must-get-this-chapter-finished' session and 9th cup of coffee of the day worth while.

I'm currently writing a book of 1980s pop facts and the second volume to 'Newcastle United's worst ever players'.

I'm on twitter if you want to say hello : @Peter__Nuttall

Thanks for stopping by.

Reviews

[Julie · Rating 4 out of 5]

If you think I Want to Complain: An Alternative Guide to Customer Service, written by Peter Nuttall is a dry advice and how to book- forget it. You have to read this book! I laughed by butt off all the way through. I myself and several of my family members have worked in customer service in one form or another and I can relate to the author's plight when dealing with complaints. But, then the author post real letters people have written to complain and this is hysterical! Finally the author give us a look at several letters he wrote when, like everyone else, was in need of customer service, or wished to voice a complaint. He also posted the responses he received. Your mother told you that you catch more flies with honey.... this is true. But this author also used his extreme sense of humor in written his letters. I wish I were as witty, but I get the point and everyone could take something away for this book to use in dealing with people. I loved it!

[JK · Rating 2 out of 5]

Short, easy to read, occasionally amusing, this collection of pithy complaint correspondence is certainly not original. Despite its brevity, the letters quickly become repetitive and whilst the anecdotal insights into the customer service industry are interesting, the chapters feel rushed and vague and needed much more detail. The book really suffers simply from not being funny enough, the claims being slightly too trivial to arouse interest in lieu of genuine laughter. If you like this kind of thing, I'd recommend The Timewaster Letters by Robin Cooper which does the same thing but with much more imagination.

[Sandra "Jeanz" · Rating 3 out of 5]

It has an amusing collection of complaint letters and replies to the end of the book. The "complaint" I have about the book is the reply letters to these complaints are printed so small (unable to change font size on them too) that you are unable to comfortably read them! So it kind of spoilt the kindle experience and I ended up switching to reading the letters on my laptop. Quite funny yet in a strange way it is informative in how to complain and yet get results. I enjoyed the book but yet felt it wasnt as good as I thought it was going to be.

[The Bookish Wombat · Rating 2 out of 5]

This is a short, funny book about complaints the author has made about issues such as Council car parks, cinema food and the new, improved formula of certain groceries. However, it doesn't really tell you how to complain and what it does tell you on the subject is unlikely to help you put right more than a very minor issue.

Worth a quick read for amusement purposes, but not to learn anythng about complaining.

[Aunty Janet · Rating 2 out of 5]

The description of the life of a call centre operative was scarily accurate (I have experience as both an operative and a supervisor!)
The compliant letters were disappointing..... 'Dear Coca-Cola' by Terry Ravenscroft is much funnier.

[Joo · Rating 3 out of 5]

I Want To Complain : An Alternative Guide To Customer Service by Peter Nuttall