Notes to My Future Husband: A Bitch's Guide to Our Happily Ever After

by The Coquette

Who is the Most Hilarious Bitch Around? Meet The Coquette, the insanely popular advice columist for The Daily . Smirking but never cynical, she's a bad-ass with her own ideas about what it means to be a wife and what it takes to be a husband. Notes to My Future Husband is a modern woman's collection of tips on life, love, and everything in between. Based on the blog named one of the "funniest ever" by the New York Observer , this book is perfect for any seriously awesome bithch-or the man who loves her. Cold If we have ham and you leave less than three slices in the package, you should just stab me in my sleep. What am I supposed to do with less than three pieces of ham? Dry my tears? • The word that will be conspicuously missing from our wedding vows.
•I to never comment on your bad breath, as long as you don't come near me with bad breath.
•We're going to make a lot of parenting Let's not make putting leashes on our children when we go to the mall one of them.
•Your I know I'm the 'free spirited one', but you're not allowed to be doing something that makes you miserable. Sorry. We'll f***'in live in a box, it's fine.

Genres: Nonfiction, Humor

256 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 2012

Reviews

[Nickolas · Rating 4 out of 5]

Great, easy book to keep handy when you're feeling down about being single or if you're planning on getting married any time soon.

Also lots of great quotes to share with your friends.

[Jackie Chanel · Rating 5 out of 5]

Funny as hell and so accurate I cried laughing! Highly recommended for a quick and fun read

[Just A Ginger · Rating 5 out of 5]

Although I don't agree with everything in here, and hell who would? We're all individuals. This was a really fun idea, and honestly, I think I'm going to make something JUST like this and give it to my 'one' and only.

[Kristen · Rating 4 out of 5]

Poignant and hilarious!

[Nevin S · Rating 5 out of 5]

10/10 nothing but facts. This is a nonfiction book!

[Jill · Rating 1 out of 5]

Severely dissappointed. I thought this book was, IDK, an actual book. It's just her blog on paper, and a total waste of a space, trees and my time. Not to mention my money. Soooo dissappointed in Coquette because I know she's capable of actually writing something with great advice and merit like her blog, this just seemed like a way to make a quick buck and I guess she won because I fell for it.

[Leslie · Rating 3 out of 5]

I don't want to bother with a full review so I'll let my star rating speak for my experience:

5 Stars - I never wanted to put the book down
4 Stars - I was usually interested in continuing most of the time
3 Stars - I often got bored but was able to finish
2 Stars - I got bored enough to put the book down - I couldn't finish (or would have if not for some reason)
1 Star - I was deeply offended by something in this book.

[Stephanie · Rating 4 out of 5]

Made me giggle a whole lot :)

[Emmalee · Rating 4 out of 5]

An amusing fun easy read. A good book to keep on hand if you're feeling down about finding that perfect someone. The title may sound like an advice book, but it's not.

[Amy Denim · Rating 4 out of 5]

Page 228, not the one about Chuck Norris. Yeah, that one right there. That is all.

[Julie Garcia · Rating 4 out of 5]

cute book, loved the silly advise and great tips. Leaving the book lying around so the boyfriend can "accidently" skim through...

[Keely · Rating 4 out of 5]

I am addicted to Dearcoquette.com and this book was an extension of her funny quips and tips. She's real, she's raw, she's vulgar... She's great. Wish she could be my friend.

[Sasskia]

its not a book book. every page has different quotes.

[Caryn · Rating 2 out of 5]

I love The Coquette, but this was not good. Luckily, she won't care what I think, so that's cool. If you're a fan of hers, read it if you want to (I obviously did), but you might be disappointed.

[Anna · Rating 2 out of 5]

Oh dear, I'm disappointed. This book is far more sexist, superficial and pseudo-sassy than the original blog. Love you, Coquette – but your marriage advice annoys me.

[Halley Sutton · Rating 2 out of 5]

Sure as fuck not real Coke Talk.