Working with Anger in Internal Family Systems Therapy

by Jay Earley

Anger can arise in various ways in Internal Family Systems Therapy (IFS), depending on which part holds the anger, what function the anger serves, and whether the anger is disowned. Each situation requires a different type of therapeutic intervention as part of the IFS process. This professional booklet discusses these various circumstances and the approach that is most effective in each. It includes a transcript of an IFS session that illustrates some of these points.

Genres: Psychology, Nonfiction

72 pages, Paperback

First published March 20, 2012

About the author

Jay Earley, Ph.D., is a transformational psychologist, group leader, psychotherapist, coach, author, teacher, and theorist.

Jay is trained in Internal Family Systems Therapy and assists with professional trainings in IFS. He leads IFS Classes for the general public which teach IFS as a practice for self-help and peer counseling. He is active in the IFS community and has presented a number of workshops at IFS annual conferences. He also teaches classes on Communication from the Heart, based on IFS, interactive groups, and the Pattern System.

He is nationally known for his innovation in the group psychotherapy field. His book, Interactive Group Therapy: Integrating Interpersonal, Action-Oriented, and Psychodynamic Approaches, Brunner/Mazel, describes his group therapy method in which people learn interpersonal relationship skills by working directly on their relationships with each other. During his ten years on the east coast, Jay was Director of the Group Therapy Center of Long Island, where he trained group therapists in this method. He has written a number of articles on interactive groups and made numerous presentations at regional and national psychotherapy conferences. He continues to lead interactive therapy groups in the Bay Area.

Jay offers Life Purpose Coaching and Change Agent Coaching, on finding your life purpose and making a difference in the world. He has been writing about and leading workshops on Life Purpose since 1984. He has collected his writings on life purpose into an ebook Finding Your Life Purpose.

Jay has created the Pattern System, a method for understanding interpersonal behavior and its underlying psychological issues, which is compatible with IFS. It is used for personal growth, understanding relationships, and interpersonal assessment and treatment in psychotherapy.

In Jay's work with people, he is known for his empathy and his ability to understand a client's feelings, issues, and world view without imposing his own personality or agenda. His insight into human motivation and psychological patterns enables him to help people understand both their strengths and how they block themselves from getting what they want. Because of his own life-long journey of personal growth, his interest in the nature of human consciousness, and his success in creating a passionate and satisfying life for himself, his clients trust him to understand their struggles and spiritual longings, and to support their search for excitement and meaning in life.

Jay has a Ph.D. in psychology from Saybrook Graduate School and is a graduate of the Gestalt Institute of San Francisco. He is a licensed psychologist in California (PSY6973) and a Certified Group Therapist. He has been in private practice as a psychotherapist working with individuals, couples, and groups since 1973.

Jay's commitment to his own personal development has led him to participate in a wide variety of therapeutic and growth endeavors over the years. He has a loving, successful 20 year marriage and professional partnership with Bonnie Weiss. He has studied with Richard Olney, Jean Houston, Joanna Macy, and Richard Schwartz. He is a long-time student of the Diamond Approach of A. H. Almaas, a spiritual path that integrates psychotherapy insights and techniques with wisdom traditions in a unique Western approach to spiritual realization.

As a result of his research on human social evolution and its relationship to our current global predicament, Jay has published a number of articles plus the book, Transforming Human Culture: Social Evolution and the Planetary Crisis, SUNY Press.

During the 1980's, Jay studied with both Jean Houston and Joanna Macy. He was active in the peace movement as a member of Interhelp and Psychotherapists for Social Responsibility, where he led workshops which integrated psychological, spiritual, and planetary concerns. Study of the process by which people discover and actualize their life purpose led Jay to wri

Reviews

[Eric Miller · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is a very short, pragmatic pamphlet on working with anger using the Internal Family Systems model of therapy. The writing style is fairly dry but well-organized, serving its purpose well as an introduction to this topic. The idea of anger as a protector part is not new, but this book discuses several different ways that anger can manifest itself.

In particular, it does a great job of showing how anger can itself be suppressed by other protector parts. Early clarifies that, "Suppressing anger is fundamentally different from refraining from expressing anger." The former is caused by a protector that holds the anger in exile, while the latter comes from the Self choosing to speak for the anger instead of through it.

In the case of suppressed anger, the book argues, it can be healthy to encourage its expression in the therapy session, so that the patient can regain the strength that has often been suppressed along with the anger. This strength can include feelings of "aliveness, expansiveness, passion, and being fully embodied". After reclaiming this strength, the patient can continue with the process of unburdening the exile that the anger was protecting (if it was a protector), and helping the angry part to "let go of its angry role".

Although I'm not an IFS practitioner, I find it absolutely fascinating how this framework can help to make sense of our internal families. In fact, it is not just about understanding our internal families, as these systems extend into our external families and even the wider cultures in which we live. I personally found this pamphlet to be very useful in interpreting some of the interpersonal dynamics in my own life.

[Sunny · Rating 4 out of 5]

Really interesting short book about internal family systems. internal Family Systems (IFS) is a therapeutic approach that views the mind as made up of different "parts" or sub-personalities, each with its own perspectives, emotions, and roles. Developed by Dr. Richard Schwartz, IFS helps individuals understand and harmonize these parts to achieve inner balance and healing, fostering self-compassion and integration. Here are the next bits:

Schwartz, originally a family systems therapist, started working with his clients' inner worlds and discovered their sub personalities, which he calls parts. He realized that his clients' parts were related to each other in systems that were similar to those he recognized in families, hence the name "Internal Family Systems Therapy."

Suppressing Anger is fundamentally different from refraining from expressing it.

For example, Don realized that what he had called his Enraged Part was actually a powerful sense of presence, which made him feel solid and potent.

This process is common among girls and women, although it is not confined to them. Because of both innate hormonal makeup and gender programming, the expression of anger tends to be fostered among males and discouraged among females. However, these are just cultural tendencies. Some men have disowned their anger, and some women act theirs out. Let's look at an example. Donna's parents were judgmental and shaming whenever she got angry. They gave her the message that she was supposed to be a nice girl and not be aggressive or make waves. As a result, her anger got dis-owned, and this was enforced by managers that believed her anger was bad. Donna became meek and quiet and had a hard time asserting her needs or opinions. Clients who have disowned their anger may occasionally have angry outbursts, due to the disowned angry part breaking through. This anger is usually extreme and inappropriate to the context. The person may feel ashamed of these incidents and believe that he or she has an anger problem. However, the real problem with the person's anger is that it is disowned.

Once clients have welcomed back their disowned anger in sessions, they must learn how to integrate it into their interactions with people in a healthy way. They often begin to feel unusually angry at people they are relating to. They snap at people, or they feel hostile without expressing it directly, and it leaks out. The anger that has been repressed and disowned all their lives is finally coming out. The Angry Part is not only angry about a certain incident that triggers it-it is also annoyed at having been suppressed for so long and angry at all the ways that the client has pleased and kowtowed to people.

It says, "I've been trapped all this time. I am your right to exist. And I've been waiting to move through you. I've been waiting to inhabit you."

1. Get to know the angry protector.
2. Help the client learn to contain the anger in life situations
3. Teach the client how to speak for the angry part rather than from it.
4. Get permission to work with the exile that the angry part is protecting:
5. Go through the steps to help and unburden that exile.
6. Help the angry protector to let go of its angry role.

C. Disowned Anger
1. Work with disowning protectors to get their permission to work with the angry part.
2. Welcome the angry part into the client's inner family.
3. Encourage expression of the anger in sessions in order to develop strength.
4. Work with protectors that judge the expression of anger in the client's life.
5. Encourage the client to appreciate what the angry part has to offer and develop a trusting relationship with it.
6. Help the client to integrate the anger into his or her interactions with people as strength.

[CaliHanna · Rating 4 out of 5]

Clear and concise little book on how to work with different forms of anger (e.g protective anger and disowned anger) and how to access the part that lies beneath the anger (often hurt inner child-parts) as well as regaining the power and strength that comes together with anger and is often suppressed along with it. (Recommended for the conflict avoidant or for those who never feel angry, as well as the passive or openly aggressive folks :D ) Internal Family systems is the best therapy method I came across for self development, trauma healing and just for being a "better" and more centered person in general. Jay does a good job explaining how to use it around this tabooed issue. Useful both for self help and for therapists.

[Michelle · Rating 5 out of 5]

Very powerful illustrations of how to work with anger.