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Valentines: A Trio of Regency Love Stories for Sweethearts' Day
"The creative genius of Barbara Metzger utterly enchants."
--Romantic Times
BALD LIES
Audrina is desperate to ensure that Lord Blanford not only notices her beautiful cousin but marries her as well. However, Max's head is beset by larger worries than matrimony--though he is curiously diverted by the antics of the flame-haired matchmaking minx. . . .
THE LAST VALENTINE
Exiled into obscurity by her odious father, Martine can only assume the romantic love notes on her doorstep are a mistake--intended for another. Who could it be? Only Cupid knows--as mischief and merriment mark the countdown to Valentine's Day. . . .
LOVE AND TENDERNESS
Few blushing brides have their wedding night ruined by a ghost only they can see, but Senta's hysterics send her groom running. Reconciling these stubborn newlyweds is no easy task--even for a handsome, oddly dressed apparition who calls himself the
King . . . .
--Romantic Times
BALD LIES
Audrina is desperate to ensure that Lord Blanford not only notices her beautiful cousin but marries her as well. However, Max's head is beset by larger worries than matrimony--though he is curiously diverted by the antics of the flame-haired matchmaking minx. . . .
THE LAST VALENTINE
Exiled into obscurity by her odious father, Martine can only assume the romantic love notes on her doorstep are a mistake--intended for another. Who could it be? Only Cupid knows--as mischief and merriment mark the countdown to Valentine's Day. . . .
LOVE AND TENDERNESS
Few blushing brides have their wedding night ruined by a ghost only they can see, but Senta's hysterics send her groom running. Reconciling these stubborn newlyweds is no easy task--even for a handsome, oddly dressed apparition who calls himself the
King . . . .
215 pages, Mass Market Paperback
First published December 30, 1995
14 people are currently reading
52 people want to read
About the author
Barbara Metzger
103 books200 followersBarbara Metzger is the author of over three dozen books and a dozen novellas. She has also been an editor, a proof-reader, a greeting card verse-writer, and an artist. When not painting, writing romances or reading them, she volunteers at the local library, gardens and goes beach-combing and yard-saling.
Her novels, mostly set in Regency-era England, have won numerous awards, including the Romance Writers of America RITA, the National Reader's Choice Award, and the Madcap award for humor in romance writing. In addition, Barbara has won two Career Achievement Awards from Romantic Times Magazine.
Source: http://www.barbarametzger.com/about_b...
Her novels, mostly set in Regency-era England, have won numerous awards, including the Romance Writers of America RITA, the National Reader's Choice Award, and the Madcap award for humor in romance writing. In addition, Barbara has won two Career Achievement Awards from Romantic Times Magazine.
Source: http://www.barbarametzger.com/about_b...
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Displaying 1 - 20 of 20 reviews
January 6, 2025
3.5⭐️ I was in the mood for Metzger and found this trio of Valentine stories. They’re sweet and light like merengue cookies. But, don’t dwell too long on the calories (storylines). They resemble heart-shaped doilies—lots of holes you can poke an index finger through. 👉
Bald Lies
My favorite. The most traditional of the three. Two bachelors go to the home of their married friend in hopes of finding suitable women to marry.
The Last Valentine
The laciest of the three.
Love and Tenderness
A newly married couple and a ghost make one too many in the bedroom. A little dated. A little long. The silly humor made me smile.
Bald Lies
My favorite. The most traditional of the three. Two bachelors go to the home of their married friend in hopes of finding suitable women to marry.
The Last Valentine
The laciest of the three.
Love and Tenderness
A newly married couple and a ghost make one too many in the bedroom. A little dated. A little long. The silly humor made me smile.
October 8, 2013
Much to my own surprise, I absolutely LOVED this. I mean, objectively it's probably a 3.75-4.00 star collection of novellas/short stories, but I derived such a surprising 5++++ star enjoyment from it that I couldn't bring myself to lower my rating.
Barbara Metzger has generally been an "I love her, BUT..." author for me. Interestingly, the shorter format seems to capitalize perfectly on everything I love about this writer while successfully eliminating nearly everything that I don't. The infectiously energetic, mood-boosting humor doesn't have the time and space to descend into irksome ridiculousness. The story's over before we start to feel like the plot and premise are stretched too thin. We can enjoy every minute with these amusing, colorful characters without having to worry that they don't seem to undergo much actual deep growth throughout the book.
The first and third stories of this trio are long enough to be considered novellas, while the second is a short story. The first is an adorable, sneakily sweet tale about an H and h who are each self-conscious about a certain physical imperfection but eventually see only (near!) perfection in one another. The second and shortest of this collection is the sort of story I usually roll my snarky little eyes at: the plot revolves around a fairly obvious misunderstanding, culminating in 'insta-love' between two people who don't even meet in person until towards the very end. And, yet, somehow Metzger totally sold me on it, and in some odd way this 'would never ordinarily like it' tale emerged as my favorite of the three. The third is...well, be forewarned that it requires a hefty suspension of disbelief! Suffice it to say that an apparition is a major character, and he's, um, a famous guy who lived years AFTER this story allegedly takes place. If you can go with it, though, it's an amusing and well-written story about a newly betrothed H and h who have to get over their insecurities about whether their marriage is based on love or practicality and learn how to communicate. The characters' difficulty in clearing things up like normal adults would probably drive me nuts if this has been stretched across a full-length novel, but it benefited greatly from being streamlined---sometimes shorter really is sweeter! And major bonus points to Metzger for deviating from her (too) typical 'amusingly arrogant, rakish alpha' hero to give us a slightly more reserved 'gentleman' here.
Overall, a highly enjoyable read for any time of year!
Barbara Metzger has generally been an "I love her, BUT..." author for me. Interestingly, the shorter format seems to capitalize perfectly on everything I love about this writer while successfully eliminating nearly everything that I don't. The infectiously energetic, mood-boosting humor doesn't have the time and space to descend into irksome ridiculousness. The story's over before we start to feel like the plot and premise are stretched too thin. We can enjoy every minute with these amusing, colorful characters without having to worry that they don't seem to undergo much actual deep growth throughout the book.
The first and third stories of this trio are long enough to be considered novellas, while the second is a short story. The first is an adorable, sneakily sweet tale about an H and h who are each self-conscious about a certain physical imperfection but eventually see only (near!) perfection in one another. The second and shortest of this collection is the sort of story I usually roll my snarky little eyes at: the plot revolves around a fairly obvious misunderstanding, culminating in 'insta-love' between two people who don't even meet in person until towards the very end. And, yet, somehow Metzger totally sold me on it, and in some odd way this 'would never ordinarily like it' tale emerged as my favorite of the three. The third is...well, be forewarned that it requires a hefty suspension of disbelief! Suffice it to say that an apparition is a major character, and he's, um, a famous guy who lived years AFTER this story allegedly takes place. If you can go with it, though, it's an amusing and well-written story about a newly betrothed H and h who have to get over their insecurities about whether their marriage is based on love or practicality and learn how to communicate. The characters' difficulty in clearing things up like normal adults would probably drive me nuts if this has been stretched across a full-length novel, but it benefited greatly from being streamlined---sometimes shorter really is sweeter! And major bonus points to Metzger for deviating from her (too) typical 'amusingly arrogant, rakish alpha' hero to give us a slightly more reserved 'gentleman' here.
Overall, a highly enjoyable read for any time of year!
February 18, 2014
Bald Lies
Three gentlemen in the prime of their lives meet at their Club to drink away their worries. They each have problems: one has a wife who is rumored to be carrying on a flirtation or worse with another man; another, a young fop, is in need of money and the last has a secret problem he doesn't dare to confess to anyone: he's losing his hair! The solution is to repair to the country to a house party to try to solve their problems by finding wives for the two bachelors. Audrina, the daughter of a vicar, is content to be the companion to her beautiful younger cousin Carrie. However, her uncle is a miser who desires nothing more than marrying his daughter to a title. The titled gentleman he has in mind is old and smelly and Dree's cousin does not wish to marry him. When Audrina discovers that two wealthy bachelors have come to the country, she hatches a plan to marry her cousin to Maxim, the Earl of Blanford. Max feels he's too old and too lacking in hair (despite a hair piece) for the young woman. There's a certain minx who has caught his eye but she seems intent on pushing her cousin at him. All they do is argue. How can true love persevere if the lady can not see what is in front of her nose?
This story is sweet but short. It's too short. The romance suffers as a result. There's too much telling and very little showing. It's funny and cute though. The romance content is very low - kisses only and barely that. There's no real dog in this story either but there's a joke about a poodle.
In The Last Valentine, a lonely young woman is buried in the country after a failed elopement. It's been four years of tedium and being watched by a stuffy old chaperone. When Martine discovers a love letter outside her door, at first she thinks it was misdirected but then when more notes and gifts arrive, she's convinced it's her old lover Digby returned to her. She's determined not to let him go this time.
This story is sweet and tender. The tone is darker than Metzger usually writes. The story is bittersweet. There's an interesting twist at the end but I sort of saw it coming. I really liked Martine and felt very bad for her. I liked how she blossomed as she realized she was loved. I was disappointed there wasn't a dog in this story but only a cat. Content warning: There's a mention of making love and how Martine felt about it.
The final story Love and Tenderness involves a young married couple. On their wedding night, the heroine panics when she discovers a ghost in the room! Misunderstanding, Lee, the Viscount Maitland, leaves his bride not willing to force her to do anything she doesn't wish to do. Senta DOES wish to continue the honeymoon but Lee won't listen. Senta learns she is the only one who can see the ghost. He can't remember who he is and doesn't know why he's there. All he knows is that his name is sort of like a vegetable and he was a king of a rock. Then Sir Percival, as Senta dubs her new friend, discovers that Maitland is being blackmailed. Maitland's brother Michael was a soldier with Wellington's Army and supposedly turned traitor and sold information to the French and then killed himself. The Army officially declared an accidental death but the blackmailer knows the truth. Determined to stop this nonsense once and for all, Lee heads off to London to try to find the blackmailers ... and obtain an annulment. When Sir Percival informs Senta of what has happened, she is determined to take matters into her own hands to solve the mystery and prove to her husband that she loves him, even if it means associating with a grizzled old soldier servant, a fallen woman, a baby and an old hound dog.
This story is darker than Metzger's usual romances but it also contains a lot of humor, especially from the ghost. It took me a lot longer than it should have to figure out who the ghost was. There's no explanation of who he is or what he's doing there. His identity becomes obvious as the story goes on. It's a little TOO obvious and very annoying. It feels really weird to have him in the story. I got very tired of the constant hints. The story would have been far more interesting without the ghost. The mystery kept me really interested. It surprised me a bit how it all unfolded. It was worth putting in a full length novel and developing more. There was a secondary romance that should have been fleshed out more. The dog plays a minor role in the story. I didn't like the marriage plot. I hate supposed marriages of convenience. They always involve a silly misunderstanding. The last bit of the story is stupid and unnecessary. Why? It doesn't do anything for the plot. It's not even explained.
The story isn't squeaky clean. The h/h are married and the reader is in bed with them but they don't get very far. There's some sensuality and some parts that may make readers uncomfortable but nothing is super graphic. It's clean but not kisses only.
This book was free on openlibrary.org and it was worth the time spent reading it but not worth paying for.
Three gentlemen in the prime of their lives meet at their Club to drink away their worries. They each have problems: one has a wife who is rumored to be carrying on a flirtation or worse with another man; another, a young fop, is in need of money and the last has a secret problem he doesn't dare to confess to anyone: he's losing his hair! The solution is to repair to the country to a house party to try to solve their problems by finding wives for the two bachelors. Audrina, the daughter of a vicar, is content to be the companion to her beautiful younger cousin Carrie. However, her uncle is a miser who desires nothing more than marrying his daughter to a title. The titled gentleman he has in mind is old and smelly and Dree's cousin does not wish to marry him. When Audrina discovers that two wealthy bachelors have come to the country, she hatches a plan to marry her cousin to Maxim, the Earl of Blanford. Max feels he's too old and too lacking in hair (despite a hair piece) for the young woman. There's a certain minx who has caught his eye but she seems intent on pushing her cousin at him. All they do is argue. How can true love persevere if the lady can not see what is in front of her nose?
This story is sweet but short. It's too short. The romance suffers as a result. There's too much telling and very little showing. It's funny and cute though. The romance content is very low - kisses only and barely that. There's no real dog in this story either but there's a joke about a poodle.
In The Last Valentine, a lonely young woman is buried in the country after a failed elopement. It's been four years of tedium and being watched by a stuffy old chaperone. When Martine discovers a love letter outside her door, at first she thinks it was misdirected but then when more notes and gifts arrive, she's convinced it's her old lover Digby returned to her. She's determined not to let him go this time.
This story is sweet and tender. The tone is darker than Metzger usually writes. The story is bittersweet. There's an interesting twist at the end but I sort of saw it coming. I really liked Martine and felt very bad for her. I liked how she blossomed as she realized she was loved. I was disappointed there wasn't a dog in this story but only a cat. Content warning: There's a mention of making love and how Martine felt about it.
The final story Love and Tenderness involves a young married couple. On their wedding night, the heroine panics when she discovers a ghost in the room! Misunderstanding, Lee, the Viscount Maitland, leaves his bride not willing to force her to do anything she doesn't wish to do. Senta DOES wish to continue the honeymoon but Lee won't listen. Senta learns she is the only one who can see the ghost. He can't remember who he is and doesn't know why he's there. All he knows is that his name is sort of like a vegetable and he was a king of a rock. Then Sir Percival, as Senta dubs her new friend, discovers that Maitland is being blackmailed. Maitland's brother Michael was a soldier with Wellington's Army and supposedly turned traitor and sold information to the French and then killed himself. The Army officially declared an accidental death but the blackmailer knows the truth. Determined to stop this nonsense once and for all, Lee heads off to London to try to find the blackmailers ... and obtain an annulment. When Sir Percival informs Senta of what has happened, she is determined to take matters into her own hands to solve the mystery and prove to her husband that she loves him, even if it means associating with a grizzled old soldier servant, a fallen woman, a baby and an old hound dog.
This story is darker than Metzger's usual romances but it also contains a lot of humor, especially from the ghost. It took me a lot longer than it should have to figure out who the ghost was. There's no explanation of who he is or what he's doing there. His identity becomes obvious as the story goes on. It's a little TOO obvious and very annoying. It feels really weird to have him in the story. I got very tired of the constant hints. The story would have been far more interesting without the ghost. The mystery kept me really interested. It surprised me a bit how it all unfolded. It was worth putting in a full length novel and developing more. There was a secondary romance that should have been fleshed out more. The dog plays a minor role in the story. I didn't like the marriage plot. I hate supposed marriages of convenience. They always involve a silly misunderstanding. The last bit of the story is stupid and unnecessary. Why? It doesn't do anything for the plot. It's not even explained.
The story isn't squeaky clean. The h/h are married and the reader is in bed with them but they don't get very far. There's some sensuality and some parts that may make readers uncomfortable but nothing is super graphic. It's clean but not kisses only.
This book was free on openlibrary.org and it was worth the time spent reading it but not worth paying for.
October 13, 2008
Well, a dashing hero who is losing his hair, how novel!
October 11, 2025
One of Metzger's misses. Barely 2 . that was for the first one. It had the bones of a Metzger tale if not the execution.
The second story a total dud. Senseless drivel. No chemistry or reason for this couple to get together on a sad rebound.
As for the 3rd story. Metzger owes me the ten dollars I paid for this book. Oh please. Elvis Presley as a ghost in a regency. A forgetful but sexy ghost that only the heroine could see. I've read quite a few really good Metzger stories and a few forgettable ones. This one was beyond hope.
The second story a total dud. Senseless drivel. No chemistry or reason for this couple to get together on a sad rebound.
As for the 3rd story. Metzger owes me the ten dollars I paid for this book. Oh please. Elvis Presley as a ghost in a regency. A forgetful but sexy ghost that only the heroine could see. I've read quite a few really good Metzger stories and a few forgettable ones. This one was beyond hope.
June 28, 2019
Why did no one tell me that the third story ("Love and Tenderness") features the ghost of Elvis? Never explained? In an otherwise normal Regency-set historical romance???
October 4, 2021
Metzger's wit is a joy
I related to the Bald Truth, but laughed out loud at the twists and references in Tenderness, and I am not sure I caught them all. If you liked Regards of the Season and Lady Wilowby's wedding, you're enjoy this one.
I related to the Bald Truth, but laughed out loud at the twists and references in Tenderness, and I am not sure I caught them all. If you liked Regards of the Season and Lady Wilowby's wedding, you're enjoy this one.
March 3, 2024
The first two were ok, quick reads. The last was hard to get through, dumb with the mysterious ghost and way too long for a short story. I’ve liked one or two books by this author’s but I should’ve DNF this one. One star each for the first two, zero for the last one.
October 29, 2018
A good enough read, but no need to go out of your way.
February 6, 2020
I enjoyed reading. The third story is humorous.
January 19, 2023
Three light and romantic Regencies celebrating Valentine's Day - very sweet.
February 12, 2024
They were entertaining. Probably not going to be my favorite regencies, but I love that there was definitely a Georgette Heyer flavor to them.
February 18, 2024
Rating for ' The last valentine '
March 19, 2015
5 stars for 'feel-goodness' though perhaps on balance more a 3.5 book. So worth it for the laughs though. I loved Bald Lies best. Middle story was more a cute predictable snippet.
The last with was my least fav, though it was very action packed the gimmick got a bit old by the end. Overall, I liked that there were real life issues in the stories, like baldness and pimples- “Would he still think she was beautiful? Her figure was fuller now and her face thinner, paler, except for the spot on her chin from eating all that candy.”
--------------
Excerpt -"There is one week until Valentine’s Day", she read. "I have waited this long to ask you to be mine. I will try to be patient until then." There was no salutation and no signature. Martine shrugged. The note was romantic, mysterious, and a mistake.
The sender must have directed a messenger to the wrong house, for Martine had no beaux at all, much less one waiting any amount of time. Why would he wait, this unknown admirer? Mrs. Barrett was a poor but respectable widow, still wearing mourning for her soldier husband, who, of course, had never existed. That is, George Barrett had once lived, and died, but not in Martine’s vicinity.
Her father had simply borrowed the fallen cavalryman’s name for his fallen daughter.
---------------
These here are some of my favorite lines especially the bit about watching his friends closely for hints of decay lol-
Excerpt - The incipient resemblance to a hen’s offering didn’t even bother Max as a memento mori. He’d faced death on the battlefield often enough to accept his own mortality. No, he saw each fall of dark thread, each ebony remnant on his pillow slip, as a sign of betrayal. His body was playing him false by growing old. Old. Max Blanding, first cricketeer, Lieutenant Lord Blanford—growing old? How had that happened? He was only two and thirty. He couldn’t be old yet.
Max had studied his friends this evening, searching for signs of decay. Gordie was gaining some girth, but he was still the rosy-cheeked lad from school days. And Franny, despite his affectations in dress, was still a blond, blue-eyed cherub. They were all of an age, so how was Max the only one getting old?
He pondered the question while he waited for the footman to bring another bottle to the table. At this rate, he estimated, in less than a decade his teeth would be coming loose and his stomach would be straining toward his knees, no matter how hard he worked at Gentleman Jackson’s. He sucked in those muscles with a gasp. "Are you all right my lord" the worried servant asked. Max scowled the waiter away.
The last with was my least fav, though it was very action packed the gimmick got a bit old by the end. Overall, I liked that there were real life issues in the stories, like baldness and pimples- “Would he still think she was beautiful? Her figure was fuller now and her face thinner, paler, except for the spot on her chin from eating all that candy.”
--------------
Excerpt -"There is one week until Valentine’s Day", she read. "I have waited this long to ask you to be mine. I will try to be patient until then." There was no salutation and no signature. Martine shrugged. The note was romantic, mysterious, and a mistake.
The sender must have directed a messenger to the wrong house, for Martine had no beaux at all, much less one waiting any amount of time. Why would he wait, this unknown admirer? Mrs. Barrett was a poor but respectable widow, still wearing mourning for her soldier husband, who, of course, had never existed. That is, George Barrett had once lived, and died, but not in Martine’s vicinity.
Her father had simply borrowed the fallen cavalryman’s name for his fallen daughter.
---------------
These here are some of my favorite lines especially the bit about watching his friends closely for hints of decay lol-
Excerpt - The incipient resemblance to a hen’s offering didn’t even bother Max as a memento mori. He’d faced death on the battlefield often enough to accept his own mortality. No, he saw each fall of dark thread, each ebony remnant on his pillow slip, as a sign of betrayal. His body was playing him false by growing old. Old. Max Blanding, first cricketeer, Lieutenant Lord Blanford—growing old? How had that happened? He was only two and thirty. He couldn’t be old yet.
Max had studied his friends this evening, searching for signs of decay. Gordie was gaining some girth, but he was still the rosy-cheeked lad from school days. And Franny, despite his affectations in dress, was still a blond, blue-eyed cherub. They were all of an age, so how was Max the only one getting old?
He pondered the question while he waited for the footman to bring another bottle to the table. At this rate, he estimated, in less than a decade his teeth would be coming loose and his stomach would be straining toward his knees, no matter how hard he worked at Gentleman Jackson’s. He sucked in those muscles with a gasp. "Are you all right my lord" the worried servant asked. Max scowled the waiter away.
February 19, 2016
There are three short stories in this book; the last two pretty forgettable but the first, "Bald Lies", very, very funny. The ending is over-the-top funny.
Max Blanding, Earl of Blandford, "recently of His Majesty's Cavalry," is going bald and can't bear it. When he and another nobleman-friend are invited to a house party near Bedford, he decides he should go and check out the single ladies, too, because he isn't getting any younger. His valet coaxes him into wearing a hairpiece, which he instantly regrets because he is SURE everyone can tell. He has an arsenal of funny names for the hairless state and for the toupee, like "dead rat".
When one of the rolled up socks stuffed into Dree's bodice falls out while dancing, Max diverts everyone's arttention by ripping the toupee off his head and throwing it into a cormer, yelling "Rat!". He hustles Dree off the floor to repair her dress and they declare their love for the other. Turns out she only wanted to find a man "just like her father" the vicar--a good man, who also happens to be bald.
Max Blanding, Earl of Blandford, "recently of His Majesty's Cavalry," is going bald and can't bear it. When he and another nobleman-friend are invited to a house party near Bedford, he decides he should go and check out the single ladies, too, because he isn't getting any younger. His valet coaxes him into wearing a hairpiece, which he instantly regrets because he is SURE everyone can tell. He has an arsenal of funny names for the hairless state and for the toupee, like "dead rat".
When one of the rolled up socks stuffed into Dree's bodice falls out while dancing, Max diverts everyone's arttention by ripping the toupee off his head and throwing it into a cormer, yelling "Rat!". He hustles Dree off the floor to repair her dress and they declare their love for the other. Turns out she only wanted to find a man "just like her father" the vicar--a good man, who also happens to be bald.
February 16, 2013
Three.charming Valentine stories, each more charming than the previous one. Unique twists on Regency love stories, especially the third one with the ghost of the King who has amnesia. How delightful to follow his progress as we gradually figure out this identity of the apparition.
February 13, 2016
It's Metzger, so it's fine, but, to a greater extent than ususal, I felt trapped inside a laugh-track. Too, the third story was completely overwhelmed by the ghost of Elvis Presley, and not in a good way.
February 23, 2016
What can I say? Funny, romantic book. Three short story. Each one different. Barbara Metzger, the second best writer of witted romance (the best is of course G. Heyer). You won't be disappointed. You will have a nice time and you will be smiling many times during reading and even after.
February 22, 2012
Save this one for Valentines Day! Three great stories to enjoy.
June 16, 2013
Elvis, A Ghost ?
Well, in Love and Tenderness he is.
This book was such a fun read. I enjoyed all 3 stories in it.
Well, in Love and Tenderness he is.
This book was such a fun read. I enjoyed all 3 stories in it.
Displaying 1 - 20 of 20 reviews