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Don't Bite the Hook: Finding Freedom from Anger, Resentment, and Other Destructive Emotions

4.34  ·  Rating details ·  1,199 ratings  ·  121 reviews
Life has a way of provoking us with traffic jams and computer malfunctions, with emotionally distant partners and crying children—and before we know it, we're upset. We feel terrible, and then we end up saying and doing things that only make matters worse. But it doesn't have to be that way, says Pema Chödrön. It is possible to relate constructively to the inevitable ...more
Audio CD, 0 pages
Published July 10th 2007 by Shambhala Audio (first published June 12th 2007)
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Average rating 4.34  · 
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 ·  1,199 ratings  ·  121 reviews

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Jon Nakapalau
Anger and resentment are 'hooks' that we bait ourselves...Pema Chödrön helps us see this; and stops us from biting a hook that will only lead to our destruction. Very accessible book on Buddhist psychology.
Sep 15, 2012 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
I love this audiobook! Pema Chodrin’s down-to-earth interpretation of ancient Buddhist teachings brings it right home to where we live. With engaging personality she suggests we train for huge adversity by practicing with little sufferings – traffic jams, mosquito bites, not getting the seat you wanted – without complaint or anger. Her humour shines through as she urges us to plant positive thoughts in negative situations … "May I and this bastard obtain enlightenment together". She asks, “Why ...more
Shante Smalls
Mar 01, 2008 rated it it was amazing
Recommended to Shante by: sandy bell
This changed and continues to change my life. Pema is able to transmit the dharmic teachings with power and gentleness. The audio CD is the best format to encounter this particular set of teachings.
Alex van Frank
Jul 06, 2016 rated it it was amazing
I did the audio book in my car and she was a wonderful companion on difficult rides. I highly recommend this on audio. You'll find yourself throwing blessings at road ragers --and to tell the truth they are the ones who need it most!! ;)
Sep 14, 2019 rated it it was amazing
This is Nonfiction written by a Buddhist. I've read one other book by her and loved it. I can say the same about this one. I'm not sure this was quite 5 stars, but the simple fact that I'd read this again, makes it 5 stars for me.

I listened to the audio and she has a a great voice and a great message. There was some repetition in this. While I noticed it, it didn't detract from the overall impact of her compassionate advice. I'm not sure how easy some of this would be to implement when battling
Jun 19, 2018 rated it it was amazing
Pena Chodron is the most accessible Buddhist I’ve ever encountered in my life. She’s funny, humble, self-effacing and admits how human/broken/unenlightened she is in a casual but hellishly insightful reading from an 8th century Indian spiritual notable.

Ever heard the Dalai Lama speak about buddhism? I tried it once, and after about ten minutes I gave up. The impression I was left with was he was a narrow-minded hardass about Buddhism - if you don’t look at it the One True Way, you’re wrong and
Jul 01, 2016 rated it it was amazing
Excellent! As someone who sometimes suffers from repressed anger and resentment (don't we all?), I admittedly "bite the hook" far too often, especially when I am under stress. I really enjoyed listening to Pema Chodron's insights. Although I am not a Buddhist, I found that I could relate to her message. I plan to listen again and again so that I can more fully grasp all of the nuggets of wisdom. Highly recommended!
James Pritchert
May 20, 2014 rated it really liked it
Recommends it for: ANyone who lives in the Washington DC metro area.
This was my intoduction to Buddhist thought and theory. I found it quite interesting and relevant to my current life. As the extended title suggests the entire book is a lecture on acceptance presented by the author in a very interesting and matter of fact way. This may not be the book to finding relief from anger but is certainly is a useful stepping stone. It made me want to further explore the Buddhist realm and see if there more in it for me. After all, what do I have lose?
Jul 30, 2012 rated it really liked it
Shelves: cd
Pema simply rocks. Listened to this on CD for the second time; think the first was about 5 or 6 years ago. Got as much out of it this time as the last, if not more. No matter where you are on your journey, Pema offers clear and humorous advice about dealing with shenpa--the urge, the hook, that triggers our habitual tendency to close down.
I loved this audiobook! Pema Chodron teaches from an 8th century Shanti Deva poem on how not to "bite the hook" - breaking free of our habitualized responses to life's triggers for irritation, frustration and anger.

I'll listen to these lectures again and again - both to continue my practice and simply to hear Pema Chodron laugh.
Aug 23, 2013 rated it it was amazing
I really enjoyed listening to Pema. I've been reading some books about Buddhism lately, and I have to admit, sometimes I'm distracted by all the words I don't know how to pronounce. You don't have that problem with the audio book. And, Pema is hilarious! Her humor really shines in this format. I plan to listen to this again before returning it.
Robin Tobin (On the back porch reading)
The first audio I listen to of Pema.. Wow what a life changer...
Sep 26, 2007 rated it really liked it
Pema Chodron is my go-to person in terms of looking at how to deal less than positive emotions from a buddhist perspective. In DBTH she interprets ancient text into contemporary situations, encouraging the listener (its an audio book)*not* to take her word for it, or the words from hundreds of years ago, but to consider each point and explore its truths on one's own.

Chodron is funny and honestly I'm not sure who wouldn't find something of value here, unless you always handle anger, jealousy,
Oct 11, 2019 rated it really liked it
Chodron is an excellent Buddhist psychologist. Using the teachings of the great sage Chandrakirti as a starting point, she applies his teachings on anger to various real life situations. She takes ancient dharma and makes it very real for modern people. The hook she discusses is anger (aka frustration, irritation, dissatisfaction, resentment, et cetera - in the Buddhist view, these are all permutations of the basic emotion of anger.) And anger is very destructive - it ruins relationships, leads ...more
Mar 05, 2013 rated it really liked it
when challenged ask and open vs spin-off and rework, justify anger, caught in self-importance, addictive undertow of anger and negative criticism, Buddha-main addition to me/myself/I, armor to not fear, evil is purposeful hatred to others, patience vs violent peace demonstrators, uncover your good heart and mind with courage and lack of fear, good bad neutral.
Nov 01, 2018 rated it it was amazing
This is an excellent audiobook to listen to while cleaning up the hairball your cat horked up on your bed. All over your bed. It's also super great for backtracking a few chapters to repeat the section on strategies for working with anger in the moment when your cat barfs on your naked bed while you were in the next room trying to clean the duvet cover she previously despoiled.
Ayesha Ali
Dec 06, 2014 rated it it was amazing
Superb. Great practical advice and memorable examples on how to handle adversity. Highly recommended as a pre-Christmas reading/listening since Christmas can be a tense time when we are surrounded by loved ones and all the baggage that comes with that. Highly recommended.
Susan Black
Jun 24, 2012 rated it it was amazing
Shelves: self-help
audio book - listened to while creating new collage/mixed media pieces. So fantastic.
I feel like I should listen to it daily ...
Lisa Smith
Mar 30, 2017 rated it it was amazing
Amazing and life-changing words. Can't believe I'm just now learning these truths...
Nov 22, 2018 rated it it was amazing
Pema is so great at using humor to really look at yourself and how we let things get our goats lol
When you can laugh at your angry habits you are halfway there.The addiction to anger is really good to listen to and break the connection with .
It makes me feel powerful sometimes and when I see this is a habitual response and it’s universal I can let it go better .
Zero stars. Garbage. Fluffy woo-woo language that says nothing.
Patricia White
Feb 08, 2018 rated it it was amazing
Gives much insight on dealing with anger and rage in everyday life.She shares her humanity, that she also needed to deal with the same issues in lif
Mar 20, 2019 rated it it was amazing
So so good! I was bummed when it was over!
Tara Lynn
May 18, 2017 rated it it was amazing
I know I really enjoy a book (audio book in this case), when I immediately start it over again after finishing. That was the case with this book. I found it helpful with focused discussion and exercises. I recommend this audio book to anyone interested in these topics.
Nov 27, 2017 rated it really liked it
This only exists as an audiobook, though it's more of a recording of a talk given at a weekend retreat than a book. It's fun to hear Pema's words in her own voice.

While this is mostly angled towards working with anger, the subtitle of this talk includes "destructive emotions" and I think it sums up the real use for these lessons. With most of her books and talks, I can't really tell you about specific things I'm taking away from it...her wisdom just helps my brain function better.
Pema Chodron rocks.
She is my go to in all situations.
This series of talks quite probably would have annoyed the heck out of my younger more impetuous self.
Patience as a revolutionary act, she claims, unpacking an ancient code for walking the dharma path.
What relevance,, could this old text originally given to a group of Buddhist monks, have for us today? she asks, then assuring us, things haven't changed that much.
As she guides us through the work her compassion and humour alleviate some of
Donna Peterson
Jun 28, 2017 rated it it was amazing
I read this many years ago. It was my first introduction to Pema, her work, and her writings. I have the audio, which she reads herself, and I am about to listen to it again. In fact, I will probably start re-reading many of her works. For me, she is a positive voice reminding me of who I want to be and how I want to live my life. This is my favorite of her books, but all have much to offer.
Sonia Allison
Dec 18, 2018 rated it it was amazing
Truly good pleasant healing words.
&prison abolition
Oct 16, 2008 rated it it was amazing
Shelves: spirituality
Not only is this the perfect follow-up to Getting Unstuck: Breaking Your Habitual Patterns, it provides the perfect antidote to this tense pre-election season with its warnings about the dangers of getting too invested in certain viewpoints and outcomes.

These tapes are based on chapter 6 of The Way of the Bodhisattva which she also comments on in her own No Time to Lose: A Timely Guide to the Way of the Bodhisattva.

For those of you too impatient to listen to three hours of Pema, the key to
Magdalena Golden
Jan 02, 2015 rated it it was amazing
I was quite surprised by how much I enjoyed this book. Commentary on religious scripture is definitely not my cup of tea so I don't think I would have picked it up if it weren't for the fact that I recently took up knitting and was looking for something to listen to other than just music and I figured that even if I don't like it, it's still technically not a waste of time because I'd be knitting while listening ;)

Far from a waste of time, I found the book very enlightening, no pun intended ;)
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Ani Pema Chödrön (Deirdre Blomfield-Brown) is an American Buddhist nun in the Tibetan tradition, closely associated with the Kagyu school and the Shambhala lineage.

She attended Miss Porter's School in Connecticut and graduated from the University of California at Berkeley. She taught as an elementary school teacher for many years in both New Mexico and California. Pema has two children and three