Stranger in the Mirror: A Memoir of Middle Age

by Jane Shilling

Book Description A remarkable and poignant memoir about one woman's attempt to understand middle age Product Description 'I looked in the mirror one morning, and saw the face of a stranger. Who was she, this haggard, bun-faced woman with the softening jawline, the downturned mouth, the world-weary air of a woman who hasn't had what she wanted from life, and knows she isn't going to get it now? Why, it was no one else but me, myself and I.' Middle age took Jane Shilling by surprise. She hadn't seen it coming, and she certainly wasn't ready for it. Living a flawed, bittersweet version of the idyll she dreamed of in her twenties, in a tumbledown urban cottage by the Thames, with a son, a cat and a horse in a livery fifty miles away, she wondered whether middle age was the beginning of the end. Or was there one last great adventure to be had? The Stranger in the Mirror is one woman's attempt to understand what middle age means for her and whether, as a new generation of women turns fifty, a revolution is under way. It definitely won't reverse the signs of ageing - but it will make you laugh, it will make you think and it could just make you look in the mirror in a slightly different way...

Genres: Nonfiction

256 pages, Paperback

First published January 20, 2011

Reviews

[Laura · Rating 2 out of 5]

From BBC Radio 4 - Book of the Week:
Jane Shilling's reflective and enquiring memoir is told from the perspective of mid life. Today she finds similarities between the changes that accompany middle age, and her memories of adolescence.

Read by Samantha Bond.
Abridged by Julian Wilkinson.
Produced by Elizabeth Allard

Jane Shilling's memoir, The Stranger in the Mirror, views life from the perspective of mid life. In exploring her past, Jane discovers similarities between middle age and adolescence. To her frustration she finds that there are no role models for her middle years that interest her, particularly as she sets out to create a new wardrobe on arriving at fifty. A failed love affair leads her to contemplate a different kind of future, and the precariousness of life as a freelance journalist is brought into stark relief by events beyond her control. Finally, she also reflects on the women who have influenced her from the previous generation, and discovers that while middle age seems to be a series of small losses, it is also about looking forward to the next part of the adventure.

Jane Shilling writes on books for the Daily Telegraph, Sunday Telegraph and Daily Mail, and on television for the Evening Standard. This is her second book. She lives in Greenwich with her son.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b00xhb25

[Patricia · Rating 1 out of 5]

Self indulgent piffle. I rarely give up on a book but this one defeated me. Very boring and blandly written. Give this one a body-swerve.

[Bettie]

Blurb from Amazon - ‘I looked in the mirror one morning, and saw the face of a stranger. Who was she, this haggard, bun-faced woman with the softening jawline, the downturned mouth, the world-weary air of a woman who hasn’t had what she wanted from life, and knows she isn’t going to get it now? Why, it was no one else but me, myself and I.’


Middle age took Jane Shilling by surprise. She hadn’t seen it coming, and she certainly wasn’t ready for it. She lives in a tumbledown urban cottage by the Thames, with a son, a cat and a horse in a livery 50 miles away – a flawed, bittersweet version of the idyll she dreamed of in her 20s.


Must she accept that middle age is the beginning of the end or is there one last great adventure still to be grabbed? Her sense of hope and excitement seem at odds with her contemporaries’ resolute denial or rueful resignation in the face of middle age. And what of the strange, conflicting attitudes – a mixture of fascination and revulsion – that surround the public perception of middle-aged women?


This is one woman’s attempt to understand what middle age is, what it means for her and whether, as a new generation of women turns 50, some kind of revolution is under way. The result is a very personal meditation about what it’s like to be at the mid-point, looking both backwards and forwards. It definitely won’t reverse the signs of ageing but it will make you laugh, it will make you think and it could just make you look at yourself in the mirror in a slightly different way ...

[Sarah · Rating 3 out of 5]

Quite intelligent musings on middle age for women. I dip in and out of this book inbetween my preferred ficiton, the honesty is good for me.

[Liz Wager · Rating 4 out of 5]

Anecdotal but beautifully written, I thoroughly enjoyed these observations on ageing, many of which resonated with my own experience. I preferred the essays to the autobiography, but overall, I enjoyed this.

[Jo_Scho_Reads · Rating 4 out of 5]

An interesting and contemplative account of middle age, of which I am fast approaching. A lot resonated with me, particularly the movement of time.

“Time passes no more swiftly than it did when I was young, but I am haunted by the sense of how little of it is left”.

[Reader · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.5 stars

[Amanda Thomson · Rating 4 out of 5]

Thoroughly enjoyed this reflection on middle age as a woman at the same stage of life.

[Sai Shen Zin Mao · Rating 3 out of 5]

A woman in realization that she's getting old

[Deborah J · Rating 2 out of 5]

Not convinced by this. For me it lacked sincerity, and I'm not sure why. These are after all the reflections of a middle-aged woman coming to terms with her condition and how she is perceived. I found I was getting exasperated by the musings of an Oxbridge-educated person living in a cottage in Greenwich. The development of her relationship with her son was rather touching though. Perhaps I've just had enough of books about getting older!

[Joan Harthan · Rating 2 out of 5]

A memoir of middle age. Struggled on to about a third the way through, then gave up. There are some real gems and stuff I can deeply relate to, but she keeps going off at a tangent with garble and gossip, which I find irritating in real life, never mind in a book. I skipped to last page and discovered a happy ending. That decided me to ditch it.

[Sarah Dale · Rating 4 out of 5]

An interesting read from a woman grappling with middle-age. Well written, it is an honest look at some of the mixed feelings including no small amount of anger and frustration connected with ageing from a woman (and mother's) perspective.

[Michele · Rating 3 out of 5]

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