Out of Breath

Breathing #3

by Rebecca Donovan

Emma leaves Weslyn and everyone in it behind to attend Stanford University, just as she always intended. A shell of her former self, she is not the same girl. She is broken, and the only way that she’ll be whole again is through forgiveness. Emma must find a way to forgive herself and recognize her own worth before she can receive the love she deserves. This final installment will have readers holding their breath until the very last page.

Genres: Romance, New Adult, Young Adult, Contemporary, Abuse, Contemporary Romance, College

422 pages, Kindle Edition

First published June 6, 2013

About the author

Optimism seeps from every pore of my body. I truly believe that what's supposed to happen... will! In that regard, I don't know how to give up; it's not part of my biological make up.

I'm a passionate (and some would say, overly enthusiastic) person. I learn by doing (and have been burned more times that I'd like to admit), but I will always throw my entire self into whatever I do - fail or succeed.

I think this is evident when I write, leaving nothing behind and spilling it all out on the pages. I give it all to my readers - love it or hate it.

The path I'm on is very often my own, veering off the beaten path at the sight of something more interesting or captivating, getting caught in the vines and thorns in order to experience the beauty and intrigue others often pass by. And I always meet the most interesting people along the way...

Reviews

[Akanksha❤ Søren♰ · Rating 3 out of 5]

SERIOUSLY??!! I am so freakin' angry hurt disappointed annoyed irritated upset, name it and I'm that with this book. This book, quite frankly was horrible.



The 3 Stars I'm giving this book are ONLY FOR ALL THE GUY CHARACTERS, especially COLE. and also for how the POVs were written. It was brilliant hot one pov lead to the other. AMAZING

I mean after such brilliant first two books of the series; Reason to Breathe and Barely Breathing, we get such a shitty third novel: Out of Breath. Its pretty darn disappointing because you just bloody expect A LOT after RoB and BB and after waiting since months. :|

THIS BOOK HAD NOTHING. It was dragged and stuck at the same time. The story wasn't moving. It had no plot. Wtv they were 'keeping' from each other was so fucking stupid I wanted to hit someone.



I am just to angry and irritated at the moment because this book was so bad.

AND OMFG, what the hell was with the ending? I was like 'are you fucking kidding me?!' One of the worst endings I've read. I hope we freakin' get a novella or something after that shitty ending.



YOU GUYS HAVE NO IDEA HOW BADLY ITS HURTING ME TO WRITE AND POST THIS REVIEW.

[Seena Seena]

9th May 2012
I want this NOW! Seriously! It's not fair! I want to throw a tantrum like my 3yr old does when he doesn't get what he wants!

9th September 2012

What? Still no release date or blurb?!?!?!?! Ohhh hellllll no!



17th September 2012



We have a cover....... but still no blurb or release date!

1st October 2012

It has now been advised that the release date will be announced on the 5th October!!!!! Ohhh yeaaaaaahhhhh buddy!



6th October 2012

So because I live in Australia Friday the 5th October rolls around for us before anyone else. I waited till after midnight and still no release date. I went to bed excited and happy because I knew once I woke up this morning I would have a release date................



JUNE 2013!!!!



AND we don't even have an exact date in June!! So it's not like I can give you a exact estimate of how many sleeps until we get to read this!

#$%*#$%($%&^%*^(#*$(*@#($*#@($%$%(*$&%#$#!@!@#@!

7th January 2013

8 freakin months since I added this book......

8 MONTHS!

And still no blurb!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Just appease me already and give me what I want!

[Farah · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5 stars!

I am devastatingly disappointed with this book since I had such high expectations, the first two books ‘Reason to Breathe' and ‘Barely Breathing’ were brilliantly written and both of them left us with huge cliffy’s and what makes this even worse is that we had to wait such a long time for this book to be released.

Normally I would agree that Rebecca Donovan is an exceptional writer who basically holds all your emotions in the palm of her hands while you are reading her books. Perhaps, too much expectation went into this book because of the high standard we are accustomed to from her. No doubt, this series is very emotional, somewhat disturbing and very upsetting to think they some people have this in their lives.



"I was infested with blackness, scorching and marring my insides, feeding on the guilt and hate that had taken root so long ago. It intertwined with every cell, and there was no hiding from it any longer. I couldn’t feel. I couldn’t think. I couldn’t move without triggering an unfathomable pain that would leave me begging to end the suffering, just as my mother intended."




Anyone reading this book, a little advice…..



Getting down to the story…
So Emma left Evan and went off to college at the end of book two with not even a Goodbye or anything…

“I love him more than he will ever know. And because of that, I choose his happiness.”


Two years later Emma is still struggling with her broken heart, the voices in her head and is struggling just to survive…
Emma isn’t living, she is just Breathing, an empty shell of the girl she used to be.

"She’s just been … existing since she left Weslyn. There’s no … light in her eyes. No purpose. No drive."



With the help of her roommates, Emma is forced into doing things and trying to bring some excitement into her life.

This is when Emma meets Cole. I have nothing but love for this boy and I truly feel sorry for him because of what Emma did to him emotionally.
HURTING someone no matter what the circumstances are IS NOT COOL EMMA!!

Yes, Cole was a ‘filler’ but he accepted the fact that Emma had been through something, he never pushed, he cared and at the end of the day he accepted any bullshit that Emma did or said because he just wanted her…. It was just sex, nothing more to Emma. They were not dating even though they spent so much time together.

"I gripped the tense muscles along his back as he moved into me, exploring me deeper. The charge intensified, possessing my senses. It became all that I could feel, all that I needed, as it streamed through every inch of my body. The emptiness was swept away, and I would give anything not to be devoured by it again."

When Emma gets the call that her mother killed herself she is forced to go to her home town that she ran away from, which eventually leads to breaking her down even more. Memories of what happened eat at Emma alive and she wants to numb the pain… with alcohol?



So Emma never drank and now shes always drunk? She hated her mother and her drinking and now is doing EXACTLY what she did?
I REALLY DON’T GET HOW THIS EVEN MAKES ANY SENSE??
Who is this IMPOSTER and what have they done with the EMMA we knew???

Sara, bless this girls soul, she is amazing and I would love to have a friend like her by my side.
She takes care of Emma until Emma is so out of it but there is only one person that will save her, that always saves her Evan…

“Every breath I breathe is because of you. Even when your weren't there to save me, you were my reason to breathe. And for that I will always love you. Always

I love Evan, I’ve loved him from the first time I met him and I have great respect for this boy. For someone to still be this way after he was hurt , wronged and also broken is astounding.

He comes back to California for the summer where Emma and Cole are and YES, this is such a big FCUK UP! Emma’s actions here cannot and I will not allow her to blame this on her broken past and fcuked up family! This is ALL EMMA!!



Evan and Emma have been through so much in their journey together and as much as Emma wants Evan to hate her for what she did to him, he cant..

"Evan Mathews, you can tell yourself and everyone else that you’re here to get answers, for closure. But the truth is, you love her. You have always loved her. You will always love her. You’re here because you can’t walk away. You saw how broken and empty she was back in Weslyn, and you had to follow her. You’ll never be able to let her go. You’re here because … it’s where you belong, with her.’"

Emma was frustrating at times, so much that I wanted to scream at her or shake her out of it.
I do understand what she’s been to and that she’s DROWNING in her hurt and pain and is STRUGGLING to see the LIGHT, to Find her Breath…





"Breathe, Emma. Take a deep breath.’"

"Let it all out, Emma. Find your way back to us.’"

I know and understand Emma has been dealt a shitty hand in life but she was really extreme. The running and depressions and crying was a bit much and really dragged out. So many emotions which ended up being repetitions to fill the pages just left us irritated.



On the one hand Emma is running and running and not eating etc, the picture in my head was that she was lifeless looking and anorexic?
The next thing people are talking about how stunning Emma looks and her great legs? It just didn’t make sense.

"I’m afraid to kiss you,’ he confessed, his words floating through the air in the hush. ‘I’m afraid that if I kiss you, I won’t want to stop. I can feel you tense every time we touch, and I don’t want to do anything that will make you walk away from me."

To me it seemed that EVERYONE in this book was constantly babying Emma ALL. THE. TIME It was exhausting!!!!
Yet another girl that could do literally ANY shit but everyone still forgave her and loved her?
The overall plot felt a bit empty to me. I wish I could edit this book and take out all the shit which actually did not need to be there. I think that would have made this a 5star read because it really has 5 star potential!
Rebecca definitely should have listened to the ‘Less is More’ concept!


In order for Emma and Evan to get anywhere is for them both to let each other 'in'....



The writing was utterly confusing with the different POV’s and Evan’s side in italics but then Emma had a thought and it was also in Italic?




“I couldn't catch my breath. I buried my face in his shirt. He was my reason for existing. It was his words that pulled me to the surface. His breath that saved me. And now, his arms that held me within this life, unable to give up. He was my strength, and the love I didn't have for myself. And I couldn't live without him more than he could let me go.”



During one conversation the writing is switched to different POV’s which really doesn’t make sense and im like? WHAAAAAT? Ohhhh… this is Evan talking etc.
This was completely stupid and unnecessary and not WELL done!

I finished this book because I felt like I owed it to MYSELF for the time invested in this series, however I am utterly PISSED off right now!!
So we get PAGES AND PAGES of ‘FILLERS’ but Rebecca could not write a decent Epilogue?
The story felt Unfinished
I literally blinked, literally and it was over????!!!!

"I just had to remember, there was always a choice. And I chose to live. I chose to love. I chose to breathe."


“I don't understand. You still...love me?"
"Yeah, I do. And I know you're not the same girl. But I'm in love with you, Emma. I fell in love with you all over again this summer. People change. I know this. And we'll continue to change. That just means I'll get to fall in love with you again. Because no matter what happens in our lives, what I feel for you will survive anything.”



Look, no matter what I thought about this book, I’m REALLY REALLY glad that Emma and Evan have found their way back to each other because God knows they both deserve it!!!!

[Doreen · Rating 5 out of 5]

You just know that I will be the one sitting at the computer screen repeatedly clicking refresh in the hopes that there will at least be like a book summary or something. I will not for a second waver. I will sit here religiously and click refresh because this is how much I am addicted to this series. I realize that this is not healthy and I seriously do not give a damn. I am and will forever be addicted to Emma and Evan. When the release date is posted I will bite my fingernails in anticipation. A day before the release I will stay up, read the first two books and on the last page of the second book I will immediately leave my house, got to the nearest book store, and stay there until I finish the third book. Then the day after the third book comes out, I will read all the books in order. I will then be satisfied because the book will have ended the way that I want. With Emma and Evan HAPPY! If anyone deserves happiness then it's them. Okay. Now post a release date already because my fingers are starting to tire from pressing refresh and people probably think I'm a little weird. Too bad I don't care. POST THE DAMN DATE!!!!! AND SUMMARY!!!!!!!

Thank the good lord that I have characters left because this is going to be a whole new level of difficult. Most of you on this page right now. Reading this review have been with Emma and Evan since the beginning. I have held on to Emma and Evan for dear life. They are pretty much at the top of my list of favourite characters. The first book was captivated because Emma's story is one that breaks the heart into a million pieces. I'm book two Emma's heart shatters even more though you don't expect that it could. In book three, Emma attempts to rebuild her heart all on her own but she just can't. She never could built it back on her own. She needed Evan. She has always needed Evan. I've never hurt so much for a character than I did for Emma. Talk about the world being against you. She was the evidence. She made it though. She made it out of her tunnel and at the end she found Evan waiting with open arms. They both definitely had things to work out but it came together. It wasn't a forced happily ever after. They didn't fake anything. They just lived their lives each day with love.

[Tough Critic Book Reviews · Rating 5 out of 5]

4.5~stars

There are moments in life you'll never forget. Moments that brand your heart. Moments that shatter your soul. Moments that are infinite.

New emotions are created in these moments.

Time stops in these moments.

We lose ourselves in these moments...

We all shared this moment at the end of Reason to Breathe Our happily ever after was ripped away only to be replaced by emotions we didn't even know existed. Emotions created by a moment that caused us to stop breathing. A fearless ending that shocked the world.

After that, we grieved.

We grieved for the unknown.

That grief however, was replaced by anger.

After being physically assaulted by emotions and a cliffhanger heard round the world, Rebecca Donovan turned right around and emotionally raped us with Barely Breathing. However, we insanely and greedily kept coming back for more (I also wanted to judo chop her right in the f---fagina....repeatedly).

Regardless, we just wanted more! In Out Of Breath, Rebecca Donovan gives us more.

At first, I was selfishly disappointed. I wanted instant resolution. I wanted to open the book and fall right into Emma and Evan. It's been so long, too long. I didn't want to know the new characters. I didn't want to know Cole. This is Emma and Evan's story dammit! Give me what I want!!

Rebecca Donovan changed what I wanted!

Without me even being aware of it, she gave me something I didn't even know I wanted. Instead of constantly looking ahead for my resolution. She made it okay for me to be in the present. I stopped looking for something else and found something new, being able to focus on the now. Enjoying the now. Enjoying Cole. Give yourself some time, you'll get there. You'll be completely happy in the present, and realize that this detour is just part of the journey.

"I listen to silence. And you...you have a lot to say."

I knew it was only matter of time before Evan and Emma's worlds collided again and once it did, I was lost. Lost in a way that you know exactly where you are, but searching to find that place, the place. Resolution. Closure.

What I found so amazingly powerful, was the alternating POVs. It was done in such a unique way, I was surprise by its fluency. It was unique and flawless. We experience the same moment in alternating POVs, at the same time!!! WAIT...what!?? Yes, the chapters weren't split into alternating POVs, but the story happened while instantaneously allowing the reader to see the moment from both Emma and Evan's eyes. You'd think that would cause some serious reader whiplash, but Rebecca Donovan's writing talent knows no limits. Emma and Evan have the exact same moment at the exact same time (okay maybe not exactly at the same time, that would just be cray cray, but you get the picture). This unique element brought the story alive.

I was hoping for a little more out of the epilogue, but maybe I'm just being greedy. Maybe I just wasn't ready to let go. Maybe I just wanted more. None of which are bad things. Either way, I was hoping to see just a little bit more of their future.

Rebecca Donovan tore my world apart two years ago, but the best part was letting her put it back together again, and in this moment...I am whole.

READ ON!

More reviews a at: http://www.toughcriticbookreviews.blo...

[*J* Too Many Books Too Little Time · Rating 2 out of 5]

And the winner of the biggest book disappointment of the year goes to.....

Out of Breath by Rebecca Donovan!!!

And to think this was probably my most anticipated book release of 2013!!

Yeah....instead, here I am!



I feel like this book also suffered from the "series syndrome"! The author made us wait a year for the final installment in the series. And let's face it....the more time that goes by, the less and less I am going to care. So as an author you better BRING IT! Not to mention I don't necessarily want to have to go back and re-read the other books in the series. But after a year and 200+ books later the odds that I am going to remember anything are going to be slim to none.

So...on to the book itself. It really seemed like I was reading two different books. The part before Evan "comes back". Where were meet the new and improved Emma. The Emma almost two years after SHE left Evan!!



Listen Emma...cut the shit!



All the drinking--it's NOT ATTRACTIVE. Pull it together! You're not doing a very good job of making me like you. At. All.

Which brings us to the part after Evan "comes back". This was really just a bunch of filler. No plot. Nothing happened.....maybe a little running here, a swim in the ocean there, a conversation here, a little, okay a LOT of blushing there!



Who am I kidding, I was bored before too. At this point...



Now I just need to rant about a few things....

1) Coincidences....and the fact that there were WAY too many!
--What are the odds that Evan's BFFs live 3 houses down from Cole and
that Emma will just "happen" to go to a party there? And all of
his friends recognized her??
--What are the odds that people that know Jonathan will be camping
right next to Emma and she'll hear them talking about him?
--Evan and Cole knew each other???
NOT GOOD. SLIM TO NONE. NOT LIKELY. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?

2) Cole....poor sweet, innocent Cole. Emma fucked you over. And honestly I am really not sure what purpose you served in this twisted story. Plus your character was TOO similar to Evan's.

3) Emma and her gold-plated pussy. Once again we have another heroine that EVERY guy is in love with.



4) The whole drinking thing. This just didn't make sense. She didn't drink at all the first year and half after she left Evan but now she's constantly drunk?!?!?! And why are all of her friends acting like it's their fault that Emma's drinking?!?!

4a) And speaking of the friends....I honestly didn't find any of them very likable but all they did was coddle Emma. Like she was this fragile, suicidal girl that had to be babysat 24 hours a day.

5) The use of the word jeering. Does anyone use this word in every day conversations?? Emma sure seemed to "jeer" a lot. BTW--I had to look up what the hell jeering was.

6) Why was everyone so mad at Evan?? All of her friends (with the exception of Serena) were mean to Evan....yet, Evan's friends were nice and welcoming to Emma?!?! And I repeat....SHE'S. THE. ONE. THAT. LEFT. HIM.

7) The alternating POVs. While, yes, alternating POVs are nice....just not in the SAME conversation. It was confusing...the use of the italics to change POVs--mid thought. Especially when there were times she italicized (is that even a word - lol) the wrong conversation.

And that brings us to the EPILOGUE...or the lack there of. After all that we were put through during Reason to Breathe and Barely Breathing all we got was some shit about the cousins??? That's it?!?! I mean WTF Rebecca?? WTF?? We deserved SO MUCH MORE! Biggest. Disappointment. Ever.

The End.

[Alexis *Reality Bites* · Rating 3 out of 5]

Minor Spoilers- mature content reader discretion is advised.
3 STARS out of 5
Genre: New Adult Romance







I don’t even know what to write. I have a love hate relationship with this book. I love Evan, Cole and Jared. I disliked Emma and hated her actions. It was rare that she was in a scene and I enjoyed reading it enough to be content. Nope, her character kept me in an emotionally edgy state at all times. In fact I spent most of the book like this





Utterly.

Frustrated.

Now don’t get me wrong I don’t mind being pissed off by a character.. However, to be in a consistent somebody-please-put-ME-in-a-padded-cell state of mind due to her actions…



Not cool…

Unfortunately compared to books 1 and 2 in this series Out of Breath just fell short.
For me.

Personally.

It just.. It just completely failed to captivate me or move me in the same way its predecessors did. But hey, that’s my opinion. One I rested and actually thought on before rating and typing this review up to post.

At the end of Barely Breathing Emma makes the decision to leave Evan behind by taking off across the country to attend Stanford alone. Book 3, Out of Breath picks up two years later with Emma still struggling to move on from her choice… Sadly Emma is pretty much a shell of her former self. She is alive going day to day without truly living. She is still in close contact with her best friend Sara. And she also has roommates who by the way help boost some scenes with their wit and colorful personalities.

Tragedy strikes and Emma and Evan cross paths. What Evan finds is not the girl he once knew.

'She was still breathtakingly beautiful. Except for the vacancy in her eyes.' ~Evan

If you thought reading through the abuse Emma suffered was bad..Well reading while she lives in this..this constant state of depression was just as bad.



Both Sara and Evan fight to free Emma from the firm grip she holds on to death and quite frankly it is very sad.

Out of Breath will leave some fans mad, others sadly disappointed, few satisfied and most just a plain old wreck. Like me.*points thumb at chest*

On a side note: Readers do get a bonus in Out of Breath; Evan's pov which I thought was nice.

My Casting



My Thoughts
-First things first though, I need to know if Cole will be getting his own book, seriously I fell hard for his character and I would love to see him happy. Yes, happy in a nice stand alone book with over 300 pages of romance. Just though I would throw that out in to the universe!

-Second, I knew it… I freaking knew it in my gut that Emma and Evan would spend a good deal of the book separated. What shocked me was Emma’s recklessness at life, with her life and about life in general. Shit does that even make sense what I just said? Whatever, like I said this book wrecked me.

-Third, I did not need 300+ pages of sad, depressingly drunk and might I add suicidal Emma. They really should stuck her ass in rehab for alcoholism and depression. Not sure how partying the summer away was suppose to help her out. No. Rehab, that chick was in need of some serious therapy and self meditation or whatever the hell it is they do in rehab.

-Fourth, the epilogue. Are you effing kidding me? That’s all we get? WHAT. THE. FRICK.

Overall I decided to go with 3 stars because I felt caught in the middle on how to rate it. And even though I loved Cole’s character I felt that he and Emma had more romance scenes then her and Evan. Or maybe they just had more sex…*Shrugs* I guess I just would have loved more of her and Evan together as a couple.


My Ratings
Characters- Most are lovable
Writing Style- Fair
Plot/Storyline- Infuriatingly frustrating, intense and dark
Steam Factor- Medium/Moderately steamy
Overall- Failed to hit the sweet spot :(

Now go forth and read. Then come tell us about it on Goodreads!
For more reviews got to http://realitybites-letsgetlost.blogs...

[Christy · Rating 4 out of 5]

4 Still Breathing Stars



It’s been two years since Emma left Weslyn and went to Stanford for school. Two years since she’s left the past behind her, cutting off essentially everyone and everything except Sara and her roommates. She has been existing, but not living. Ever since she left her old life, ever since she left Evan, she’s been barley hanging on.



Emma is on a seriously self destructive path. Emma is out of control. Doing things she swore she would never do, acting out in ways I never expected. She doesn’t let anyone in and pushes away everyone who tries to break through her barriers...



For the first time in two years, she meets someone who is persistent and won't give up on her. He understands as much as he can about Emma and takes things at her speed, gives her the space and distance she needs. His name is Cole... you heard that right, not Evan, but Cole. I wanted to hate Cole... I did. But I couldn’t. I really felt for the guy. Sara is out of the country and Emma is spiraling further out of control. A necessary trip back to Weslyn makes things even worse for her- she has to confront the man from her past... the man she left behind.

“The only way to save you was to leave.”


This is were the book started to get even more intense. We have Emma who is acting out, Cole trying to be there for her, and Evan back into the picture. Talk about a mess! Emma doesn’t know what to do with herself, so she does what she does best. She tries to escape it, she runs.



One thing I loved about this story is that we got dual pov’s the last half or so. As much as Emma drove me crazy at times, it was wonderful to get inside of Evan’s head. Evan is just amazing. He always has been, and he always will be. My heart broke for that boy over and over again. He finally finds out what was in that letter, and why Emma really left him... “I love him more than he will ever know. And because of that, I choose his happiness.”

Evan is still hurt. What Emma put him through cut him deep. Regardless, Evan knows that he and Emma belong together, even if she doesn’t see it. Well, she see’s it, she just thinks she doesn’t deserve it.

“I’m not supposed to live without you. And your not supposed to live without me. We’re in this life together. Without each other, we’re not really living.”

Evan makes it his mission to show Emma that she deserves happiness, love, she deserves him. These two have a long road ahead of them full of healing, love, and forgiveness.





It pains me not to give this book 5 stars. This was one of the best series of 2012 for me. I have been waiting and waiting and waiting for this book to come out. There were parts of it I loved, but the first half just didn’t sit right with me. I understood why Emma was in so much pain and doing the things she was doing, I did. But the whole Cole situation... I dunno. And also things with Jonathan were strange to me... it seemed sort of anticlimactic. Evan saved the book for me. I love him. Just as much as I did in the first two books. I was happy with how it ended, but I desperately wanted more of an epilogue I wanted to see more of Emma and Evan later down the road The writing was fantastic, Emma’s journey was heartbreaking, frustrating and beautiful at the same time. The series is still a 5 star series for me. I still love it and I’m happy I read this one. Evan and Emma’s story is one that will stay with me forever!

[Jennifer Kyle · Rating 3 out of 5]

Disappointed-- 3 Stars for the writing not the story line

It feels like I’ve been waiting forever for this final installment of Rebecca Donovan’s Breathing Series. Like all fans, I wanted Emma and Evan to have their hea. The minute this book was released – the husband and kids were put on strict “do not disturb” warning. They have heard all about the books because I get all emotional when I talk about these characters.

Out of Breath brings a reader two years after Emma left Weslyn for Stanford. Emma is surrounded by a group of GREAT roommates and is in her sophomore year of college. Her relationship with Sara is still strong. They talk regularly while she is away in France and they see each over school breaks.

Emma has perfected being NUMB never letting thoughts of Carol, her cousins, Jonathan, her mother and of course Evan ever enter into her mind. On the outside she is excelling at school and sport but…the GUILT and SELF-LOATHING become overpowering and Emma searches to find adrenaline highs that can combat her pain. Feelings just keep piling up on Emma.

”The black hole of emptiness that had protected me all of this time refused to shroud me in its shadows like I needed it to. I couldn’t shut everything off any more.”

Let’s be honest here... without Sara and her roommates I don’t think Emma would be functioning or even breathing. She’s like a fragile creature that everyone handles, protects and coddles. It's an around the clock --- "Emma Watch".

Emma meets a great guy named Cole although she pushes him away he does get under her skin.

I needed him. I needed him in a way that probably wasn’t healthy for either of us. He was my fix. Even if he could never fix me.”

The story delivers one tragic blow after another on Emma. If you think that you are out of the woods on tragedy…think again!

I felt like I was stuck in a constant cycle of terrible news, Emma running till her feet fall off, Emma catatonic and depressed, Emma functioning…only to do it all over again.

I NEVER imagined that the author would have gone this route with this book. It was frustrating to read and absolutely heartbreaking to bear after all that a reader endured in the first two books.

Events bring Emma back in Weslyn where Evan and her paths meet up again. The reader will be ecstatic to learn that the book from this point on is in DUAL pov.

”You’re supposed to hate me!” I couldn’t stop the tears from flowing or my body from shaking. “Why don’t you hate, Evan?!” My lip quivered.”

’Emma, I could never hate you. I’ve told you that before, and it’s still true.’ Her expectation that I could made me feel like she’d just punched a hole through my chest. ‘But I need closure, so I can move on.”

The cast of characters spend the majority of this book on the beautiful beaches of Santa Barbara for summer vacation. You see, Cole’s beach house happens to be down the road from Evan’s school chums. Emma agrees to give Evan two weeks to convince him to hate her and tell him the truth.

Slowly Emma lets Evan in and gives him the truths that he has so desperately needed. Please note that Jonathan does play a part in this story so readers beware.

”I left Evan instead of letting him in. And I drove Jonathan away, fearful he’d gotten too close. Neither of them had a reason to trust me. No I was convinced I’d lost them both.”

Overall, the story was not what I expected or dreamed of but there is a conclusion and there is a hea.

The writing is very well done. I have tons of quotes highlighted throughout the book. Although, I didn’t care for the story line of tragedy and pain for the majority of the book, I think the emotional journey between the two characters was brilliantly done!

Now onto the epilogue…it was way too short! I believe readers DESERVE more of an epilogue for our pain and suffering. I’ll continue to hold my breath hoping that Rebecca Donovan gives readers more. She can think of it as our severance packages.

[Vikki ~ *squee* lite ~ · Rating 3 out of 5]

2.5 stars


***** Warning - rant, with some minor spoilers ********

What the hell was that? Seriously? Can somebody tell me how that was supposed to make be feel, because I'm pretty sure that it wasn't supposed to make me frustrated, annoyed, bored, and then frustrated again.

I didn't like Emma in this book at all. I get that she has been through a crap ton of horrible shit. I was very sympathetic to her in the previous two books, but in this one, I just wanted to scream at her to get the fuck over it.

The book starts off a year and a half after Emma ran away from Evan and went to California. She has apparently been in emotional cold storage for all that time, and one party and a ton of booze brings her back to life.

So, then we proceed with the excessive drinking portion of the book, where all of Emma's friends coddle her and make excuses/take the blame for her irresponsible behavior. It's not so much that I didn't get why she was self medicating, but it just seemed bizarre that she was ok for almost two years, and then *bam* alchi/adrenaline junkie Emma comes to life.

It's during this period that we introduction our place holder Cole. Honestly, I don't get what Cole's role in the book was supposed to be. He never really gets close to Emma. He provides some mild angst when Evan comes back on the scene, but not too much. And then he crawls off with nary a whisper when Emma is ready to try again with Evan. So what was the point? What did he bring to the story? Was he just arm candy to keep us interested during Emma's self destruct phase? That's the best I can come up with. That said, I really liked Cole. I have no idea why he liked Emma, and I felt sincerely bad for the dude. He got the shaft big time, and he didn't deserve it. Also, the whole vibe of how they got together was SO similar to how she got together with Evan it was creepy. She's bitchy to him, he doesn't seem to care - hangs around even when she says she doesn't date, willing to take whatever she will give him etc. It just left me wondering what the heck was so special about Emma

After Evan comes back into Emma's life we enter the most frustrating part of the book. We can't just get down to things - sit down and have and honest heart to heart - no, we have to watch Emma wallow, interspersed with some parties, running, shopping, eating, surfing, camp outs and a whole bunch of crap that felt a while lot like filler to me. I was bored and frustrated. I hated Emma. She drove me nuts with her guilt and self flagellation. Every time you turn around she's breaking down, going semi-catatonic, doing something self-destructive. It was so OTT, I was exhausted. This was also the half of the book where we were treated to the dual Emma/Evan POVs. Normally, that would have been a treat, but we shifted back and forth so fast from one to the other, often in the middle of a scene, it gave me whiplash.

Then, we finally get resolution - but do we get to bask in the fact that our couple is finally together again? Nope. After all that dragging things out, the end is about as wham, bam, thank you ma'am as I've read in a while. Zero satisfaction from the epilogue.

This was one of those books I was so excited to finally read. I hate that I wish I hadn't bothered.





********************
Ugh. I'm happy with where we ended up (excluding that epilogue) - but good lord, I wish we had gotten there ANY other way. Belch.

I know this is going to be a minority opinion, big time.

Full review to come.

[Trinity Hanrahan · Rating 5 out of 5]

JULY 2, 2013

I GOT THE BOOK! I GOT THE BOOK!!!!



Thank GOD for good friends!!!

*scurries off, clutching book with glee and possessiveness*

I'lll be back...sometime. After I'm done. And have finished crying, eating a bottle of Xanax and drinking myself senseless.



*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* *~*~*~*~*~*~*~* *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*



JULY 1, 2013

FUCK ME! I have to hide from Goodreads tomorrow! I can't get my book until WEDNESDAY !!!!




*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* *~*~*~*~*~*~*~* *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*



JULY 1, 2013

*skips in happiness and excitement*

ONE. MORE. DAY!!

Which team am I??

TEAM EVAN!!




Oh dear GOD!! Let this torture END already!!


....


I HAVE TO KNOW WHAT'S GOING TO HAPPEN!!





*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* *~*~*~*~*~*~*~* *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*




JUNE 29, 2013



!!! 3 More Days !!!


...not that I'm excited or anything... ;-)




*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* *~*~*~*~*~*~*~* *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*







JUNE 25, 2013

*!*!* ONLY ONE MORE WEEK *!*!*





*!*!* ONLY ONE MORE WEEK *!*!*


OMG! Is it EVER going to GET HERE??





*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* *~*~*~*~*~*~*~* *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*



JUNE 20, 2013

OMG OMG OMG!!! *!*!* LESS THAN TWO WEEKS *!*!*






*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* *~*~*~*~*~*~*~* *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*




APRIL 25th, 2013: REVIEW COMPLETED

How I felt at the end of Barely Breathing when I initially finished it:




Then, after I'd had a moment to process it:



... But ...




And then I got stuck on Evan!




And I just wanted to...



whenever I thought about Emma.


I SWEAR TO GOD!!!




Now I find that while I'm waiting for this damn book, I'm catching myself being all




Dear July, you can arrive ANY TIME NOW!!

[Monisha]

ATTENTION, PEOPLE :


Rebecca Donovan has just changed the cover for OUT OF BREATH:







And, we also have a new teaser-------->


OUT OF BREATH Teaser:


I closed my eyes, my chest tightening, knowing I wasn't ready. But the firmness of his body against my side and his scent held me captive, keeping me from moving a single muscle. I was afraid to lose this – his touch, his warmth.

His hand ran across my stomach, and I inhaled quickly. "Oh, Emma," he murmured in my ear, making me bite my lip. His fingers coiled into a fist on my stomach, and his arm tightened in restraint. "Maybe I should go upstairs."

Just as he turned on his back, I uttered, "Don’t go." He was suddenly very still. "You’re right. We’re not ready. And I don’t know what’s happening between us. But . . . if you can, will you just lie with me? If you can’t, I . . ."

"I can do that."



WTF IS THIS?!?!!?!?

This "HE" better be Evan or.......


I swear I'm going to die before JULY (No kidding !!!!)



During all this I was like:






BUT GUESS WHAT?

After gaining my LOST sanity (only for a few minutes people...,mind you), I was this:





So, yeah, you can all freak out now ........

[Alex · Rating 5 out of 5]

How are you going to end a book like that and then expect us to wait? It was bad enough we had wait for the second installment! But on a side note: what a fantastic series so far. Absolutely loved both of the books and can't wait to read the final chapter on Emma and Evan.

[♥ Barb ♥ · Rating 5 out of 5]

4.5 OUT OF BREATH stars


“You were my reason to breathe.”





This is the third book in the Breathing series. This is the story of Evan and Emma. Emma is BROKEN. Her HELL started when she was 11 yrs old and had to move in with her aunt and uncle. She later, meets Evan who in the end....SAVES her. The first two books ended with massive cliffy's and left me heartbroken, but FINALLY after waiting a very long, 12 months... I get my happily ever after. This book had me crying, laughing, screaming and lastly, HAPPY TEARS!!!





“In the uneven balance of life, I'd experienced love and loss. The loss challenged me to be strong, but it was the love that supported me when I was weak. I was a survivor.”

"I don't want the past to define me anymore. I don't want what happened to me, or all the wrong decisions I've made to keep me from becoming someone better. I want to be better."





“I'm not supposed to live without you. And you're not supposed to live without me. We're in this life together. Without each other, we're not really living.”




My fave quotes:

"This was the girl I knew. This was the girl I'd loved. And although I didn't know what had happened to her, I knew I had to find out.”

“Living in the mistakes of your past isn't going to do anything but destroy your future.”

“Maybe it's because once you put all the pieces together, you end up with something beautiful.”

“In the uneven balance of life, I'd experienced love and loss. The loss challenged me to be strong, but it was the love that supported me when I was weak. I was a survivor.”

“Remember there is always a choice. I chose to live. I chose to love. I chose to breathe.”





“Every breath I breathe is because of you. Even when your weren't there to save me, you were my reason to breathe. And for that I will always love you. Always.”






You wait
Wanting this world to let you in
And you stand there
A frozen light in dark and empty streets

And you smile
Hiding behind a God-given face
And I know you're so much more
Everything they ignore is all I need to see

And you're the only one I ever believed in
The answer that could never be found
The moment you decided to let love in

And now I'm banging on the door of an angel
The end of fear is where we begin
The moment we decided to let love in

I wish
Wishing for you to find your way
And I'll hold on for all you need
That's all we need to say

And I'll take my chances
While you take your time with this game you play
But I can't control your soul, you need to let me know
You leaving or you gonna stay?

And you're the only one I ever believed in
The answer that could never be found
The moment you decided to let love in

And now I'm banging on the door of an angel
The end of fear is where we begin
The moment we decided to let love in

There's nothing we can do about
The things we have to do without
The only way to feel again
Is let love in

There's nothing we can do about
The things we have to live without
The only way to see again
Is let love in

You wait
Wanting this world to let you in

And you're the only one I ever believed in
The answer that could never be found
The moment you decided to let love in

And now I'm banging on the door of an angel
The end of fear is where we begin
The moment we decided to let love in
The moment we decided to let love in
The moment we decided to let love in

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eeBE5D...
Let Love In by Goo Goo Dolls


**BR with one of my pinkies... Jxxx**

[Sharon ∞❥ is an emotional book junkie ❥∞ · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.5 ★'s

At the end of the last book, you know some horrible things had happened and that Emma took off to Stanford...and that's where I've been left hanging for the past year - imagining all sorts of scenarios that could be played out. None of them even came close to what happened in this book! Okay, okay...maybe the part where Evan shows up. That was definitely in ALL my scenarios!

This book, heck, this series is pretty depressing but there are some good moments too. It's really about a damaged girl that finds hope in a boy and even though she tries to do the right thing, she ends up hurting him. Ultimately, she has to learn to forgive herself.

I could not believe how broken Emma was!! It was sooo hard to read about her thoughts and feelings. We all know this girl has been through hell and back and I can totally understand where she was coming from with wanting to NOT hurt Evan but TWO FREAKIN' YEARS?? WTH?? I was stunned, frustrated and confused but it only made me unable to stop reading the freakin' book!

And then enters Cole and I felt my heart breaking. Don't get me wrong, Cole is wonderful and probably a little of what Emma needed. I think without him, things might have been very different but still...Cole ≠ Evan...that is a fact.

Sooo...Evan. It was a little scary seeing these two broken people possibly try to work things out. After being through so much, could they trust each other enough to try to be together? As messed up as we know Emma was, I do have to say that I was taken back by how affected Evan was....and it is wrong to say that I was happy that even two years later, he is still so wrapped up in her?

It warmed my heart to read about the things Evan just knew would work for Emma...just goes to show that sometimes it takes people that really know you, to know what can help you. I loved how Evan and Sara were able to work together.



All of Emma's roommates were wonderful especially Serena but they definitely are no replacement for Sara. I just love her even though she couldn't possibly be there for Emma 24/7. I hated seeing what she went through as well but I was happy with the way things worked out.

The drama! Crazy, crazy drama and right from the start with the first party and what Emma did (almost) - you just knew that things were going downhill...fast. And the dramas don't stop coming!

I think the only problem that I had with the book is with the way the different POVs are written. Emma's is plain text and Evan's is italic but several times I was so wrapped up in the story that it didn't register that the POV had changed and I had to start over so I could be in that person's head.

I was happy with the way things ended. We get a taste of things in the future with a short epilogue. But I also can't believe it's actually over and that's it. The end. :(




Favorite quotes:

♦ "So … you like the rain?" he enquired with a gleam in his eye.

"Yes, don’t you?" I asked, brushing my lips along his jaw, my pulse still thrumming.

"No," he replied with a chuckle. "I think I love the rain."

♥ She had always connected with that tree too, making it the perfect location for the swing I’d made for her.

The swing that I’d hoped would keep her coming back here. Back to me.

♥ "Pink’s my chocolate," she whispered.

♥ "You don’t have to let me, Emma. I already do. You just have to love me back. With everything you have. And that’s all I need. I need you. All of you."

♥ "I’m not supposed to live without you. And you’re not supposed to live without me. We’re in this life together. Without each other, we’re not really living."

♥ I just had to remember, there was always a choice. And I chose to live. I chose to love. I chose to breathe.

[destini · Rating 4 out of 5]

Dark, raw, and just as gripping as the first two!

It’s been two years since Emma left Evan alone and broken and time has not healed her wounds. Despite putting on a brave face for her supportive roommates and Sara, she knows she hanging on by a thread. The hate, anger, hurt, and guilt, are drowning her and although she continues to fight, she knows that soon enough, she’s going to let it pull her under.

… I was feeling again. Way too much. And I was afraid. So very afraid of what might happen next if I wasn’t able to tuck everything back into the darkness, where it all belonged.

I loved Rebecca Donovan’s writing. She just ensnared me and no matter how painful it was to read, I couldn’t put the book down.

Emma is one of the most complex characters I’ve ever read about. There were so many layers and she was completely unpredictable. I was almost afraid of reading and finding out what she would do next.
If you thought she was damaged before, then gear up. This is a whole new level of damaged.
She’s broken.

I just wished she could have tried harder in the beginning. She had a great support group who would have been there for her.
Emma

Then enters Evan.

This was the girl I knew. This was the girl I’d loved. And although I didn’t know what happened to her, I knew I had to find out.

Evan is, pretty much, the best character ever. I got to hand it to him, he was still angry and heartbroken over what Emma put him through, but once he knew how far gone she was, Evan instantly put his feeling aside to help her.
I have nothing bad to say about Evan. He was my favorite character during the whole series.

“… the truth is, you love her. You have always loved her. You will always love her. You're here because you can't walk away. You saw how broken and empty she was back in Weslyn, and you had to follow her. You'll never be able to let her go. You're here because... it's where you belong, with her.”

Evan

If your expecting Evan and Emma to see each other and instantly get together again, you have another thing coming. It’s a long journey and Rebecca Donovan drew it out.
This story was big on forgiveness and Emma had to learn how let go of things that were, ultimately, not her fault and out of her control to be able to move on.

“I’m not supposed to live without you. And you’re not supposed to live without me. We’re in this life together. Without each other, we’re not really living.”

Out of Breath could have been a 5 star book for me, but the ending ruined it. I heard a lot about it, so my expectations were low and at first I didn’t see much wrong with it. But then I thought, my feels have been put through the shredder, torched, then spread all over the damn place, the least I could have had was an epic epilogue.
And I have no doubt it could have been delivered. It was extremely short. After everything, I just wanted something more concrete. Is that so much to ask?
So, that was a disappointment.
Other than that, it was a great read.


This is my song for Out of Breath: Broken

[Johanna · Rating 2 out of 5]

***Unfulfilled, Slow-Paced Stars***

This is straight up BULLSHIT!!
Out Of Breath, is not a tear jerker. It's the complete opposite. The sadness is due to MY complete disappointment with the book.


Now, now peeps!!!! It's not what you think. Unfortunately, this is not a review of the book. So if you were looking for a synopsis or summary, you have come to the wrong place!!!!!! This is a FULL ON RANT & BITCHING on my part.

I am saddened for numerous reasons but let me entertain you with the reasons as to why:
The bad:
It was insanely boring
Things seemed to drag on forever
Emma was a total b*tch
Evan is too damn forgiving for Emma's idiotic behavior.
The constant nagging and whining from Emma
Emma's lack of awareness.
Emma's reasoning for pushing Evan
ETC......
The way the SERIES ENDED.
And countless other things that cannot be said due to spoilers.
OUT OF BREATH, did not deliver!!!! ENUFF said......

THE ONLY REDEEMING QUALITY IN THIS BOOK IS EVAN *sigh*

Its unfortunate really, this book was one of the most anticipated books of the year and it was a HUGE disappointment.

Do I regret reading Out of Breath? No, I needed closure for Evan & Emma and wanted to discover how they were going to move forward in their lives.
Would I recommend it? HELL TO THE NO!!

[Cinthia · Rating 4 out of 5]

This morning there was a piece of news I’ve been expecting to hear for AGES now (about three weeks actually, when I finished “Barely breathing”, but I tend to overreact) plastered on my Facebook wall:

“Out of breath” expected publication date has FINALLY been released.

OH MY DEAR GODNESS THANK YOU, THANK YOOOOOU!

Or so I thought, at first, just to have my poor unadvised heart shattered into small pulsating blooded bits, because when my eyes darted greedly to the release date it read: june 2013.

FREAKING JUNE 2013!

How I am suposed to wait this long

[Kellie Maddox-Ward]

JUNE 13TH 2013?!?!?!?!?!?!?! WHY GOD WHY?!?!

[Elle · Rating 1 out of 5]

Even though I’m an avid reader, it’s unusual for me to be passionate about a series; Reasons to Breath was one of those rarities. It breaks my heart to give a one star review to this series’ conclusion, but in the end I’m disappointed with this series finale, I expected more or something I clearly didn’t find in Out of Breath.



Spoiler Alert >>> Read at Your Own Caution



"Focus on the journey, not the destination." -Greg Anderson



Out of Breath started almost two years ago since the end of Barely Breathing. Emma is in college and she is as introvert as ever and Sara is leaving to Paris for an exchange student program. Emma lives with a few roommates who learned to appreciate and respect her the way she is (emotionally close to everyone). One day, one of her roommates mistakenly opens a box that Emma has in her room that has all the sentimental memories of her time with Evan. This event snaps something in Emma and she starts in a down low spiral. She starts drinking and trying to hook-up with a few guys. Then she meets Cole, she is mean to him to the point that I felt bad for him until she decides to start a “non dating relationship” that equals to hanging out and having a lot of sex with him. Here’s when my love for the character started to fall off. I understand that in the time-line of the story it’s been two years but for me as a reader it was like yesterday when she was leaving Evan, so it was hard to digest this development in the story. I don’t get that the girl who was so cautious to start an intimate relationship with the love of her life was so easily involved in a relationship based on nothing. I tried to understand that at some point she wanted to move on, but she repeatedly showed that she knows there’s no way she can move on from Evan, why she put herself in that situation and drag a nice guy to nowhere is something I couldn’t get. Emma will have a lot of flashbacks of things that had hurt her in the past and some memories that were the only happiness she knew. In one of those scenes she is with Cole after being with him intimately, she remembered something Evan told her and then she declares her love for Evan. I expected her to show some self respect and to stop this unnecessary relationship, I was mistaken. Well the relationship continues but then a tragic event strikes and with this Evan’s comes back into Emma’s life. Once Evan is in the story, the reader will have the opportunity to know his feeling because he has a voice in Out Of Breath and I must say that it broke my heart over and over again. Everything he’s been through and how once more for the love of Emma he is putting himself in a position to get hurt again. Through tragedy Evan stands by her and follows her because he wanted to get the closure he never had. I expected Emma to show some wise decisions at this point in the story, but I got nothing. The love of her life is back to the picture and she continues her nonsense relationship with Cole and to be completely honest, I hated how much detail the sex scenes with Cole had. I didn’t see the point because he was not the hero of the story. I felt cheated. The relationship with Cole continues until he decides to finish it because apparently it’s clear that Emma is still in love with Evan. Here’s where as a reader I felt it’s too much telling and not showing, she is constantly saying that when she was truly happy was two years ago with Evan, that she still loves him but there’s nothing in her development that shows that. She didn’t even make the choice to choose Evan over Cole and that was a huge disappointment for me. Basically the rest of the book is Emma opening herself to Evan and telling him all her secrets until they are in their HEA. After how mean, self centered and unreasonable Emma was in the entire story, I expected more than a miserable apology to Evan and live happily ever after. The letter was another anticlimactic point. How that letter convinced Evan’s mother to ruin his life for two years is beyond my intelligence. To be a little honest I didn’t want Emma to end of with Evan, which is crazy because that’s the only thing I wanted since I started reading the series, but after 90% into reading Out Of Breath I had the feeling that she didn’t deserved him and this assumption stayed with me even after I read the book completely. This is the reason I’m so disappointed in the story. It was rushed and non believable at least for me as a reader. Going from one guy to another, with too many problems to let go of everything in 20% left of the book feels rushed to me. I was expecting this book to be about Emma’s healing, her life as a college student and her finding the way back to that love that saved her over and over again and I didn’t get any of that. What I got was too much filter; too much partying and nothing close to be emotionally beautiful as the previous book. I didn’t get the story of healing and redemption I was expecting at all and it’s maybe ridiculous, but it made me sad, but then again I was passionate about this series. I felt the reason I fell in love with the series was gone. I’m not saying that the ending (last chapter) per se is not beautiful because it is, but the author couldn’t sell it to me after how the story was developed. I want to summarize that I most give credit to Mrs. Donovan because if something she excelled with her “Breath Series” was bringing a diversity of emotions to the reader, Out of Breath is not the exception.

[BookHeroin · Rating 3 out of 5]

3 STARS RATING
Out of Breath BY Rebecca Donovan
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*


I am a huge fan of the breathing series. I thought Rebecca Donovan was a genius for creating such powerful story with outstanding characters. I spent most of 2012/ and the beginnings of 2013 waiting for the last one, i had many scenarios in my mind, and in disparate state to know what happened. I asked for an ARC copy but the Author said that she decided she won't give any ARC copies and then she said "the world will be reading it for the first time together"!! hmmm i guess now we know why!

I am very, extremely disappointed by this book. The first 75% were a nightmare, i hated every second of it. I even read another 2 books during reading it!!!!
Some people would say that Emma is developing and changing and even growing up! people get through so much more than she did and they survive, i'm not saying her problems are trivial, on the other contrary i love this character so much, i respect her, i cried for her pain and suffering but yet there was something off about her in this book and i'm not only talking about the character itself,i'm also talking about the style of writing, i read the first two books A LOT! and i know how this writer writes.I know her style but there was something off about this one!

Then the rest of the book was great, i loved it. So the 3 stars rating was basically to the last 25%. I wished the whole book was the same. I loved how she finally accepted everything, i also loved how she figured away to Breath.

Quotes i though concluded this series perfectly:

"Living in the mistake of your past isn't going to do anything but destroy your future"

"Loving you is the only certainty in my life. I will never stop. But it was because how much i love you that i ended up hurting you so badly. I only wanted you to be happy, and be rid of my destructive life, And you're so beautiful and perfect even with your flaws. I couldn't destroy you too."

" Let me love you. Let me love you enough for the two of us, until you can accept that you're worth it. Because you are, Emma. I don't know how to convince you. But I'll spend the rest of my life trying. You can't give up on me now. I won't let you."

Even when you weren't there to save me, you were my reason to breath. And for that i will always love you. Always"

[Jx PinkLady Reviews ♡ bookwormthoughts · Rating 5 out of 5]

Five Stunningly Beautiful Stars

(This review assumes you know the story of Emma & Evan in the first 2 books)


“I’d earned every aching beat that pounded in my chest.”

Out of Breath, for me, is a truly fabulous read; I absolutely loved it. It's bursting with emotions and feelings all wrapped up in a bundle of LOVE ♥



I know not everyone has felt the same about this book and I completely understand the reasons why but I thought it was stunning; this is what I thought and why I LOVED IT!!

First of all I'm going to address the issue of Evan. He sadly didn't make a proper appearance for quite some time in Out of Breath but his presence, I felt, was always there.

Emma has small flashbacks to her life with Evan and the life she left behind. These memories make the story touchingly beautiful and at times moved me to tears. It's clear she still loves Evan. ♥


♥ ♥ ♥

'I couldn't Breathe.'

Emma's best friend, Sara plays a huge part in this story and she plays it to perfection. I ♥ Sara and hope that maybe we get a book or novella about her and her love. The remaining characters, the new friends of both Emma and Evan are all wonderful in their own way.

Emma tries to move on with her life, the choices she has made and live with her decision of leaving Evan behind. (She did it for all the right reasons, even if they were somewhat misguided)

'Emma had always had a different way of processing the world and her place in it.' ~ Evan

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

So Emma and her broken heart move on, and slowly she meets Cole.....

'He was my fix. Even if he couldn't fix me. ~ Emma about Cole

I have to say a fell a little in love with him but those who know the story will understand it, when I say he is NO MATCH for Evan ♥ So I waited & waited, felt a little sorry for Cole, and was finally rewarded with Evan and his almighty, gorgeous presence!! For me, he came in the story at exactly the right time; when he was needed. And some things are worth waiting for ♥

Emma's life choices in Out if Breath have been a contentious issue and as people have rightly said a little out of character. My view is that she is growing up and dealing with the shit that life has dealt her...namely, her bitch of an aunt, her useless uncle, her alcoholic, no good mother, the loss of her beloved father, the craziness with Jonathan and oh, let's not forget leaving behind the love of her life. She's also living with the dire consequences of her own choices.



There are reasons people sometimes behave out of character, they need something to numb the pain and let's face it she has many heartbreaking reasons. What she did wasn't sensible or pretty but it happens and Emma reaches her breaking point. Her emotions are out of control and people do crazy things in those situations. In Emma’s words she wants something that, “Strips my every thought and whisks away her pain.”



When Evan makes his return we are treated to a dual perspective of Emma & Evan throughout the rest of the book, which I absolutely LOVED…….it worked perfectly and gave a wonderful insight into their feelings for each other.



All Evan ever wanted from Emma was truth and honesty he wants to know all of her, the truth is so important for them to be able to move on with each other but is Emma able to do this and free her soul?

'The truth might be more than I could handle, but I knew it would change everything.' Evan



This book is full of self discovery, growing up and loving to the depths of your soul that one person who makes everything ok. Absolutely beautiful and I will never forget this incredible story ♥


'...I chose to live. I chose to love. I chose to breathe.'


♥ BR with 1 Pretty Pink Lady ♥

[Smitten's Book Blog · Rating 4 out of 5]

Ok, I think this is a prime example of it being so long between books that you kind of forget what happened.

3.5 stars!

"To breathing!" Serena raised her shot glass to mine.

I remember feeling as though I'd had my heart ripped out of my chest, at the end of book #2, but I couldn't remember a lot of the details, because an awful lot happened. So, seeing as book #3 focused a lot on the things that happened in book #2, I spent a lot of Out of Breath racking my brain. I had a quick flick through the last book, but didn't want to have to read the whole thing again.

So, because of that, I think that I didn't connect as well to the story as I might have otherwise. I wish I'd waited and read all three books at once, because I do think that this is an epic series. There is so much heartbreak and anguish. Honestly, how one girl can survive so many horrific experiences, I don't know.

Every choice had a consequence. I'd earned every aching beat that pounded in my chest.

In the third and final instalment of the series, we see Emma really struggle to cope. If she thought she was struggling before hand, that was nothing to the pain and guilt she is feeling now.



This book begins two years after book #2 finishes, with threw me for a loop! So two years have gone by since she has seen or spoken to Evan.

She is getting through college, but she is closed off and a shell of her former self. She has a great group of room mates who are on constant Emma Surveillance, which seemed a little bit mad to me. They make she doesn't drink too much, or get upset by anything, or do anything stupid.

Out of Breath takes place over the summer, where Emma is finally forced to confront her past, stop hiding away and make some decisions.

I was so tired of fighting. Tired of hurting. Tired of the guilt that would never release me, and the regrets that could not be changed. I didn't want this life.

Enter Cole. He is the first to push Emma to make decisions. He wants Emma and relentlessly pursues her until she gives in.
Sooo.... we're all waiting to read this book about Emma and Evan getting their HEA... and in wanders Cole, throwing a spanner right into the middle of the works.

I needed him in a way that probably wasn't healthy for either of us. He was my fix. Even if he could never fix me.

Argh! To say I was frustrated was an understatement. But as Cole and Emma's 'relationship' developed, I had totally conflicted feelings. I wanted Evan! But Cole is such a sweet, likable character, and Emma puts him through hell! So, I knew I wanted Evan, but I knew, for that to happen, Cole was either going to have to turn into an asshole, or get seriously hurt. OR, maybe she doesn't end up with Evan!!!... and I was like 'Argh, no, I don't want ANY of those things to happen.' So, it was inevitable, someone was going to end up in tears... my money was on me!

"I don't want you to hate me. I want you to forgive me. I want you to love me again. But I don't know how to let you if I can't forgive myself. It always comes back to forgiving, doesn't it?"

Anyway, never fear, Evan makes his come back. And, oh, how I love him.

All because of a girl with a fiery attitude and a blush that let me know exactly what she thought of me. That's all it took, and I was hers.

He is kind, caring, protective, but also very very broken, now. He is mistrusting, cautious, wary... and who can blame him.

"I only exist because of you, Evan. You've saved me more times than you know. I'm so afraid I'm not worth the breath you gave me."

So, the story continues as Emma tries to deal with the re-opening of those deep, painful wounds. Cole tried to work out whether there is any place for him in Emma's future. And Evan attempts to understand and forgive Emma's actions of two years ago.

"I'm not supposed to live without you. And you're not supposed to live without me. We're in this life together. Without each other, we're not really living."

I felt like I didn't recognise Emma's character in this book, but I do think that that was kind of the point. The events from her past had left her unrecognisable and unable to carry on as she was. It was frustrating as hell and sometimes, I wanted to stab her in the eyes at so many points in the book... but then, if you'd been through everything she'd been through, how do you think you would fair? I don't know that many people would be entirely sane, given the circumstances.

I love him more than he will ever know. And because of that, I choose his happiness.

I did kind of feel that it went around in circles a little bit. Something set her off, she lost control, got drunk/went running/went skinny dipping/cliff diving/[enter other crazy coping mechanism here], someone picked up the pieces and off we went again... I don't really know what I wanted from this book, but then it isn't my job to come up with the story and I do think this fell a little short of my expectations, having had such a rollercoaster ride with books one and two. The first two books were so bold and the storylines were so defined and purposeful, that this book didn't match them, in my opinion.

So, feeling a little 'meh' right now. I really really want to recommend this series, as #1 & #2 were just insanely awesome... but book #3 was just... okay.



Out of Breath Statistics
Steam Rating (out of 5): ♥♥♥
Ending: HEA
Series: ✓
Reading Order:
Book #1 - Reason to Breathe
Book #2 - Barely Breathing
Book #3 - Out of Breath
Can this be read as a standalone? No
Themes:
Child abuse (first book)
Grief
Guilt
Alcoholism
Second chance love
Warning. This book includes...
Thoughts of suicide
Alcoholism
Death
Writing: Good

UK AMAZON: http://www.amazon.co.uk/Out-Breath-Th...
US AMAZON: http://www.amazon.com/Out-Breath-The-...

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[Gitte TotallyBookedBlog · Rating 5 out of 5]

Reviewed on: http://totallybookedblog.com/2013/07/...

I picked up ‘Out of Breath’ with so much nervous trepidation yet excited urge to find out just what was going to happen with Emma and Evan in this third and final instalment. After two devastatingly emotional cliff-hangers that had me nearly throwing my kindle at the wall and nearly two years down the line I was so ready yet so very scared at the same time.

My heart started pounding immediately and I already felt the lump in my throat from the first word as every emotion I felt in book #1 and 2 came crashing to the surface. I remembered exactly how and what these characters made me feel. The haunting and emotional writing of Rebecca Donovan is second to none. She makes you feel absolutely everything as her story comes alive. Every single sense you possess becomes completely and utterly involved by every word written. Her writing gives me the chills and makes me tremble from sheer emotion. All three books have made me feel such powerful emotions that range from one end of the scale to the other.

This series is and always will be very close to my heart. I fell in love with Evan and Emma a long time ago and they are still two of my most beloved characters. This Author completely blew my mind when I picked up ‘Reason to Breathe’ and I will never forget the anxiety, fear, love and compassion I felt from the first breath I shared with these characters.

I urge every reader out there who reads this review to pick up this series, if you haven’t already. It will steal a piece of your heart and leave a permanent imprint. You will want to wrap your arms protectively around your kindle wishing that this action, in itself, would give some comfort, love and shelter to these characters which come alive through this Author’s brilliant writing. This series is upsetting, actually it is vividly disturbing, but it is life. Yes, we are talking fiction in this particular case; however we know it is not merely limited to that. It happens…again…..it is life.

“She’s just…broken.”

Now, it would be a grave disservice to any new reader to give anything away, to spoil this beautiful, harrowing yet inspirational story. Your emotions should be your own when you experience the journey of Emma.

“All I had to do was give up….Give up. Breathe, Emma. Just give up, and….breathe.”

Emma will make you feel. You will cry for and with her. You will want to grab her out of the story and comfort and guide her. Make her see what she cannot. You will love her, yet you will also want to talk some sense into her. Believe me; she frustrated me with her actions many times in Out of Breath. However, how do you question someone’s rationale under adverse circumstances and in the aftermath of violence? How do you counteract so much hurt, sorrow and suffering? Being hated for your own existence? Secrets can truly break you as can the guilt and despair of them. Emma had to unravel layers of pain and hurt. She had to overcome the consequential numbness and self-destructive path from the ultimate betrayal and brutality. Emma had to learn how to breathe, live….Emma had to grow up and leave the past behind in order to survive the future.

“You’re supposed to hate me…..Please just hate me.”

As for Evan, be still my beating heart. I felt for him, suffered with him got angry and hurt on his behalf. He was wronged too and his strength, his passion his decency and patience. I truly love him, so very much. Evan’s had too grow up to and learn to survive. His path forever intertwined with Emma’s. They shared a breath, a life. How do you ever forget the emotions tied up in something like that?

“Emma wasn’t the same girl. And I wasn’t the same either.”

Emma broke me in ‘Out of Breath’. I can’t even begin to adequately put into words how I felt, still feel after finally finishing the journey of Emma, Evan and all of the other characters we met along the way who played a part in this journey.

Sitting here collecting my thoughts to try and do Emma and Evan some kind of justice, well, words almost fail me and I’m crying all over again from the pure emotion that bled off the pages. The Breathing series is one, which I cannot recommend highly enough.

“Let it all out Emma. Find your way back to us…”

“I’m so afraid I’m not worth the breath you gave me…”


ARC Supplied by Publisher in exchange for an honest review


For Evan and Emma – Crash Land by Twin Atlantic : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5mqC1E...

[Snz · Rating 1 out of 5]

Damn!
I have no words to describe this book. It was just utter disappointment.
I mean I was looking forward to the end of the series so badly ..I knew Donovan was going to bring a great finale. I WAS SO WRONG!
This one killed it. The whole series is ruined for me, I cannot believe that was even possible. I had such high expectations. And FAIL.

I have not even finished it and really did not want to.
The story just drags, which in this book I found ok. Until well it went all down the drain.
Evan is not even there ..until the middle of the book. And wth, I have never hated on Emma, but this one MADE me hate her. I loved from the beginning to the end. But now, not so much.
I do not understand how she can trust other guys but Evan - Jonathan now Cole. Adding Cole in this one did not sit well with me at all. I did not like his appearance, it just pissed me OFF. Her relation with him even more.

All I feel towards this book is ANGER. Angry at Emma. I love Emma, but this book just did not do her the same justice as the other two. Angry at Emma for the decisions she made throughout this book (even though in the beginning her daring side was nice). Angry at Evan, for being OK with this. I mean I wanted them together but not this way. More than anything.. angry at her trust issues. Grr. Her trust on others and lack of trust on Evan just irritated me. Also at how Cole just disappears and its back to Evan again. Angry at the finale. Period.

I am so disappointed.
The finale should be re-written, no joke. Only because, I really do not want this book to exist as the ending.

[Jamie *Gypsy Smut-a-teer* · Rating 3 out of 5]

Every choice had a consequence. I'd earned every aching beat that pounded in my chest.



I seriously don't know how I feel about this book. I know for sure I read the first two books in this series last summer, a whole year ago, and absolutely adored them. They were like an emotional train wreck I just couldn't look away from. But it took forever for this book in the series to even have a release date, and when it finally got one it was ages away. Lucky for me, I have like 1700 books on my TBR list so I kept my self occupied, but I never lost my anticipation for this one. :( Now I just feel,....I have no idea what I feel, disappointment, confusion?? I'm not sure, I'll try to explain.



"You can't keep pushing everyone away...because one of these days, you'll wake up and no one."

When book 2 ended with that crazy ending, I thought I had somewhat of an idea where this would go, maybe not exactly but at least in some direction, I was totally off. 2 YEARS PASSED?!?!?!!? 2 YEARS!?!?!!? I mean sure, that's how long it felt like I waited but I couldn't believe the story skipped ahead that far. Anyway, Emma is living in California going to Stanford. She's pretty much keeps to herself with the exception of her room mates. But when one night the box holding her past literally opens it's like something in Emma comes apart too. Suddenly she's drinking, partying, and on the biggest downward spiral I think I have ever read. No one can seem to get through to her, until she meets Cole. I have so much to say about Cole, but I'll get around to that.

"I promise not to delve into what makes your silence so loud, if you promise not to walk out on me."



Cole and Emma seem to share some sort of connection???, except Emma refuses to really let him in. I felt so bad for the guy, it was like she was just using him, because it is obvious she is never truely going to ever let anyone in. When she is basically forced to go back to Weslyn, that's when she basically broke. Of course we all know who and what is in Weslyn.



Okay, so that is a basic summary and I don't think I should give many other details, but I have so much more to say. First, the drinking thing didn't really bother me like I have seen others no liking. I mean, that's what happens in college, it's not like it's a surprise or anything. Did she take it too far, yeah sometimes, but really I think she was just fighting her demons so hard she had lost control. The thing with Jonathan, I'm still confused about. I mean not confused by what happened, but confused to why that's the only part he played in this book. Not that I guess it was that big of a deal, but he was such a big part of book 2 I was shocked that he was such a minor character in this book.

Hold on to this life, Emma. You're so much stronger than you think you are.

And then Cole. I really really like him. Gah, he is the most patient and forgiving guy, but at times I got a little aggravated at him for being such a pushover. Maybe he knew things would only last so long. But when he left her at the house after the letter, I pretty much knew his time was short lived. I hated the way he left, but totally understood at the same time.

"Maybe it's because once you put all the pieces together, you end up with something beautiful."



Evan, Evan, Evan. I have mixed feeling about him too. Talk about patience and forgiveness. I guess he should have saint status with the things he put up with. However, he's not perfect by far either. When she confessed that deep secret and he let her go after telling her no matter what he would never leave her, I kinda sorta hated him for that moment. But geez, this guy put up with some high stakes drama to try to fix the girl he loves. Omg, that night on the beach where he confessed everything that happened after she left him, he sorta kinda hurt my heart. Not because of him hurting her, but because of some of the things he said.

"Living in the mistakes of your past isn't going to do anything but destroy your future."



"I never stopped loving you, Emma. I just don't know how to love you enough."

"Why would you say that?"

"If I did, you'd trust me with all of you."

"I'm afraid. So afraid that is you see who I truly am, you'll hate me. And I can't let that happen. I only exist because of you.~~~I want to be so much better than this girl in front of you. I want to deserve you, to let you love me. I just don't know how."

"You don't have to let me, Emma. I already do. You just have to love me back. WIth everything you have. And that's all I need. I need you. All of you."

And then there's Emma. I don't know man. Some of the stuff she said I truely wanted to shake her. How can one person, destroy their own life that much. I got sorta aggravated at her. I know, some of the stuff she has been through, were pure shit situations. I'm not even going to lie. The aunt, losing her dad, HER BITCH OF A MOTHER, and the thing with Jonathan, all total shit situations, but some of the things she brought on herself. Losing Evan. She never had to make that decision. It was the stupidest thing ever. The thing with Jonathan was not even her fault. I could go on and on. The girl needed to see a shrink and some meds would have helped her too. Problem solved.



But the main thing is this book. I felt like some of it just drug on and on. I get it, this is not an easy story to tell. But I feel like 100 pages could have been edited out easy. And then, that FREAKING ENDING. *red face* WHAT WAS THAT?!?!?! It's like we took this seriously long heart breaking, deep story and then got one sentence of a epilogue. Okay, not literally but really, I was so pissed. IT seemed like almost an afterthought. I really like what happened, it was sweet and good to see after what had happened to that "household", but that's not at all what I wanted. I seriously thought we would see them getting married or something. As cliche as that may be, I think that level of commitment was exactly what these two needed. And also to see Emma,....well and non-suicidal. Seriously, maybe a happy Emma for once. And her snobby ass grandmother doesn't even deserve her time of day.

"I'm not suppose to live without you. And you're not supposed to live without me. We're in this life together. Without each other, we're not really living."

Overall, it was a really good series. The first two books were amazing. And this book wasn't horrible, just not ever what I had imagined it was going to be. I knew Evan would be coming to find Emma, or vise versa, but never did I see it happening this way. I still recommend it, just bring a large amount of patience with you.


From before I read it....
Ohmigod, I have been waiting on this book since around July of last year....I can't wait anymore, so excited for this to come out.

[June Luu]

I cannot wait until this book comes out...I mean, after the cliffhanger in book 1, it killed me just to wait for book 2 and now that Emma suddenly left Evan??? WTFFFF!!!! why oh why did u leave him???

[Paula · Rating 3 out of 5]

I waited with baited breath until this story came out…

Out of Breath is the long awaited conclusion to the dark, heartbreaking, gut-wrenching, and emotionally intense Breathing trilogy. At the end of Barely Breathing, Emma Thomas left home suddenly after a lot of explosive drama went down. She left everyone she loved behind with no explanation, including her boyfriend, Evan Matthews. It’s now been two years. She’s pre-med and a sophomore at Stanford University.

Emma has been through so much in her life. She’s survived her father’s death, an alcoholic mother - who is mentally unstable and blames Emma for her father’s death, a mentally and physically abusive aunt, almost dying, and now she’s lost Evan. She used to be focused and content, working really hard to not let her broken life consume her. It’s not working anymore. She loathes herself. The guilt is eating at her heart and soul. Her anger and despair consumes her. She has reached an all-time low. Leaving Evan behind left a gaping hole in her heart. She’s just going through the motions, not feeling anything, and living in a shell of her former self. She needs forgiveness to move on. Having felt nothing but numbness for so long makes her want to do extreme things that are self-destructive. She wants to feel something, anything so she can breathe again.

Emma has a great support system in a group of girlfriends, who are also her roommates. I think if it wasn’t for this group of girls, Emma would have given up by now. Their friendship helped keep her head above water. It's just unfortunate they had to coddle her so much. Emma, at times, seemed beyond reach and too self-absorbed in her issues. Which makes me grateful these girls were part of the story. Some of the best parts were with Emma’s girlfriends and also Evan’s friends. I especially loved all of the moments with Sarah, Emma’s loyal best friend. Sarah is light to Emma’s dark. Sarah is good for Emma.

And then there is Cole, the new man in Emma's life. He makes her laugh and smile. He brings a little light into her life. Sort of. She keeps him at arm’s length and refuses to commit to him. Cole was a temporary solution to her problems just so she could feel something. She warns him to not get too close or he will get hurt. I felt for Cole. I knew that he was headed into the danger zone with Emma. I hate that I actually started to like Cole because I knew he wouldn’t be around for long.

As though Emma didn't have enough tragedy in her life, the blows keep on coming. Emma is forced to go home and face more pain and sorrow that makes the gaping hole in her heart wider. And, on top of that, she comes face to face with Evan for the first time in two years. The boy she loves more than anything and left behind without an explanation.

Evan is the heart of this book. I adore everything about him. Evan’s back in Emma’s life and he wants, no - scratch that, NEEDS answers. He ends up in California with Emma and I wasn’t sure whether to feel relieved to have him in the picture finally or to tell him to run away as fast as possible. I didn't want to see him get hurt again. But he never got over Emma. She’s his kryptonite. Evan claims he needs closure from Emma for him to move forward. That’s what he keeps telling himself, but the truth is… he loves her. He wants to be with her. And the only way for them to move on and be together is for them to be open and honest with each other. No more secrets. When the air is clear of all secrets, then the forgiving can start, and they can start over with a new beginning.

“This was just the beginning of our healing. Of being forgiven. I knew I would struggle with it at times, and feel like I was fighting for every breath. I just had to remember, there was always a choice. And I chose to live. I chose to love. I chose to breathe.”

This story, this entire trilogy, is emotionally exhausting. My heart ached for Emma and Evan. The writing is really good, but the storyline was much darker and edgier than I had expected – which left me with mixed emotions. I liked Emma, but I hated her thought process. I hated how depressing she was. I wanted to shake the shit out of her. Tell her to get the hell over herself and freaking move on already! I had high hopes that Emma would find a way to mend herself after two years. I wanted to see a little bit of character growth. Emma put me in angst overload. I honestly didn’t expect for her to regress further into despair and depression and have so many 'woe is me' moments. And don’t get me started on the whole Jonathan subject either. Ugh.

Buuuut, on the other hand, I do have compassion and empathy for Emma. She's experienced so much tragedy that it has defined her life for a long time. She’s an incredibly broken person because of it. I just… I just don’t know! I’m pulling my hair trying to express my feelings. I keep wavering back and forth on my thoughts and feelings about this book – which is affecting how I want to rate this book. I loved it and I hated it. I will say that the story does get better when Evan came into the picture. His presence helps Emma find her way back to herself. The best part of this book, besides Evan, is when Emma and Evan finally start to rekindle their relationship. Their journey back to each other was a tough and long road, but they do get there. Thank goodness for happy endings.

P.S. Can we PLEASE get a better epilogue? After everything this series has put us through, we could at least have been given an epilogue that gave us a more satisfying ending to Emma and Evan’s story.

Rating: C+
Heat: Warm

-- A Romantic Book Affairs Review


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[K. D. Grace]

Rebecca, I'm going to cry... You are going to turn me into blubbering MESS. I need this book now and as I can see, I'm not the only one having a breakdown full of tantrums of torrential proportions. Where do we go for our fill? I don't think we can handle the pressure of waiting til next year. How do people earn those advance copies I keep hearing of... I gotta comfort my Emma and NOW MY EVAN. Man, patience is a virtue I have purposely skipped out on on learning. Book lovers are the worst I'm afraid. We need instant gratification. Sniff sniff

[Seda · Rating 5 out of 5]

📚Aşk, hayatta kalmakla yetinmek yerine gerçekten yaşamayı öğretti bana. Beni zorlayarak mümkün olduğunu düşündüğümden daha güçlü olduğumu gösterdi. Onun rahatlığı yaralarımı sarıp izlerimi şefkatle sarmaladı. Bana, olduğumdan daha dik durup kimseye boyun eğmeme cesaretini verdi.
Aşkın ve kaybın dengesinde, uğruna mücadele edeceğim şeyi aşk belirledi ve eğilip fısıldadı kulağıma: Tut Elimi...

📚Yaşaran gözlerimle sevgiyle gülümsedim ve o elimi tutarken başımı Evan’ın omzuna yasladım. ”...sen hiç var olmasaydın ben de aynı insan olmazdım.” Başımı kaldırıp hareketsizce bekledim. “Hayatın anlamını istediğin kadar sorgulayabiliriz, ama şunu bil ki benim anlamım sensin... Yaptığım hemen her şeyin arkasındaki sebep sensin ve ben bunu ömrümde bir gün bile değiştirmeyi istemedim.”😍😍




📚Birbirimize sarılarak gecenin karanlığında gökyüzünden süzülen renkli ışıkları izledik sessizce. Başımı ona çevirdim ve parmaklarımı dudağında gezdirmeye başladım. “Aldığım her nefes senin için.” Benden ayırmadığı gözleri ışıldadı. “Beni kurtarmak için orada olamadığında bile sen benim nefes alma sebebimdin. Ve bu yüzden seni hep seveceğim. Sonsuza dek.”😥

Seriyi, neden yıllardır kitaplıkta beklettiğimi ve neden okumaya korktuğumu, okuyunca daha iyi anladım. Nefes serisi, üç kitap boyunca yaşattığı acıyla nefesimi kesti gerçekten. Özellikle de kitap sonlarıyla. Normalde seri kitaplarını böyle üstüste okumayı hiç sevmem. Ama yazar kitapları öyle yerlerde bitirmişti ki sıradaki kitabı elime almam 5 saniye sürmedi sanırım. İlk kitabı bitirdikten sonra insanlar nasıl bir yıl beklemiş, aklım almadı. Bugüne kadar okuduğum en acımasız kitap sonuydu bence.😓😱

Kitapları tek tek yorumlamak yerine, seriye genel bir yorum yazmak istedim. Çünkü hem ben üçünü tek kitap gibi okudum, hem de üç kitabında aslında tek bir konusu var; Emma ve yaşadığı acılar. Bütün kitapları çok sevmeme rağmen, en fazla duyguyu 1. ve 3. kitabı yaşadım. Ama sanırım hem Aşk Yakar diyen adıyla, hem de hissettirdiği her satırı işaretleme ihtiyacıyla gönlümün efendisi 3. kitap oldu.

Başlamadan önce birçok yorumda ‘kitabı sevdim ama Emma’ya çok kızdım’ gibi cümleler okudum. Bir dram kitabında, dramı yaşayan kişiye okuyucu neden kızar, çok merak etmiştim. Baştan söyleyeyim ki neden kızdıklarını görebiliyorum ama hak vermiyorum. Ben serinin hiçbir yerinde Emma’ya kızmadım, kızamadım. 17 yaşında birinin yaşadığı o hayattan sonra, aldığı bazı yanlış kararlar yüzünden ona kızma hakkını kendimde bulmadım. Emma yanlış kararlar verdi mi? Evet. Bu kararların acısını hem kendisi hem sevdikleri çekti mi? Evet. Ama yaşadıklarını bu yaşımda, bugünkü aklımla, rahat koltuğumda sıcak kahvemi içerken değerlendirmek, Emma’ya en büyük haksızlıktır bence.

O yüzden Emma’ya kızmam, en yakın arkadaşı Sara’nın kızmalarından, yardım etme isteğinden, çaresizliğinden farklı değildi. Ben üç kitap boyunca -ve belki şu anda bile- Emma’nın en yakın arkadaşıydım. Onunla birlikte o acıları çektim, onunla birlikte ağladım, nadir de olsa o gülümsediğinde ben de gülümsedim, sonra gülebildiği için mutluluktan yine ağladım.🙊🙊

Gülümsemelerimizin tek kaynağı da Evan’dı.😍😍 Öyle ufak şeyler, kitapların havasını değiştirdi ki o gülümseme molalarında nefes almamı sağladı. Evan’a da kızdığım, hatalı kararlar aldığını ve bazı şeyleri çok kolay kabullendiğini düşündüğüm, neden öyle yaptığını sorguladığım yerler oldu. Ama onların da hepsini yaşadıklarına ve yaşına verdim, çünkü şahit olduğu şeyler hiç kolay değildi. Özellikle Emma’ya olan sevgisini, ilgisini gördüğü ilk andan, 3. kitabın son sayfasına kadar koruması çok hoşuma gitti. Evan, kitap boyunca beni hem gülümsetti hem ağlattı. Gözümden kalpler çıkarırken aynı anda mutluluktan ağladığım zamanlar yaşattı.😍😍😥😥🤧🤧




Emma’nın içe dönük, görünmez olmaya çalışan, yeri geldiğinde yaşamayı sadece nefes almak olarak gören, zaman zaman hayata küsmüş, gözlerindeki ışıltısını kaybetmiş, kaybolmuş ruhunu ve bedenini bana göre hep Evan kurtardı. Acıların arasında, hatalarından duyduğu suçluluk duygusunun, nefretinin, öfkesinin arasında hep bir tutunacak dal, yeniden nefes alacak bir sebep verdi. Yanında olsa da olmasa da Emma için nefes alma sebebi hep Evan oldu.




Kitapların hepsi Emma’nın ağzından yazılmıştı ve ben, hem karakteri çok sevdiğimden hem de yaşananlardan nasıl etkilendiğini merak ettiğimden sürekli Evan’ın bakış açısını okumak istedim. Ve yazarın yaptığı sürprizle Benimle Kal’ın sonundan itibaren, 3. kitap boyunca Evan’ın anlatımıyla okuduğum bölümler beni daha çok etkiledi. Yazar, karakterin iç dünyasını öyle güzel anlatmıştı ki daha fazla sevemem dediğim yerde, Evan kırılganlığıyla, aşkıyla kendini daha fazla sevdirdi.💖💖

Nefret ettiğim, ölmesini dilediğim karakterler olmasına rağmen, kitapta çok sevdiğim başka karakterler de vardı. Öncelikle Sara tabii. Emma için bir kızkardeş dileseydim bu kesinlikle Sara olurdu. Hem neşesiyle hem her an yanında olmasıyla, her ihtiyaç duyduğunda elini tutmasıyla hayran olduğum bir karakterdi. Sara’yla birlikte, Sara’nın anne ve babasına da hayran kaldım. Kendi annesinin sahip çıkmadığı, terk ettiği Emma’yı, baştan sona kendi kızlarından ayırmadılar, hep onun için daha iyisini istediler, mutlu olması için yanında oldular. Evan’ın annesi zarifliğiyle, ilgisiyle mutluluk sebebi kaynana oldu benim için. Her şartta, her ne yaşanırsa yaşansın, bu aşkın en büyük destekçisi, gönlümün kraliçesi oldu.

Ben bu üç kitabı okumadım. Yaşadım. Gözümü kapattığımda her sahnesini, her acısını, her kahkahasını yaşadım. Okul koridorlarında onlarla yürüdüm, sanat sınıfında boya kokusunu, okyanus kenarında denizin kokusunu aldım. Emma koştukça, ben nefes nefese kaldım, benim ciğerlerim nefes alma ihtiyacı içinde yandı. Meşe ağacının altında olduklarında rüzgar benim de yüzüme çarptı.

Bazen okurken kitabı kapatıp nefesimi tuttuğumu fark etmeden nefes alma ihtiyacı hissettim. Olayların heyecanından ya da aksiyonundan değil, acıdan. Belki her okuyan benim kadar hissetmeyebilir ya da ağlamayabilir. Ama biraz empati yeteneği olan herkesin yüreğine dokunacak bir seri Nefes serisi. Burada esas konu aşk değil, aşkın bir insanı kurtarması, yeniden nefes almasını, gülmesini, hayata tutunmasını sağlaması. Gerçek sevginin -aşkın yetmediği anlarda bile- yapabileceklerinin gücünü göstermesi. Analise’ın bir yerde dediği gibi ‘birinin beni böyle sevmesi için her şeyimi verirdim’ dedirtecek bir aşk hikayesi okudum.




Üç kitap boyunca yaşananların dram sevdiğim halde bana bile fazla geldiği, YETERR diye bağırmak istediğim yerler oldu. Ama yine de türü seven herkese gözüm kapalı öneriyorum. Çünkü Emma ve Evan, bittiğinde baştan başlamak istediğim, sonrasında tekrar tekrar okuyacağım, bütün acısına rağmen her anını yeniden yaşama ihtiyacı duyduğum, çok gerçek gelen, basit ama etkili anlatımıyla iliklerime işleyen bir hikaye anlattılar bana. İkisini de çok seviyorum ve kolay kolay unutmayacağım.😍😍

📚”Geçmişinin hatalarında yaşamak, geleceğini mahvetmekten başka bir işe yaramaz.”

📚İlerlerken kendime ait parçaları da ardımda bırakarak koşmaya başladım. Her gece, acaba annesi eve bu gece hangi kişiliğiyle girecek diye korkan o kızın parçalarını. Mükemmel olsam daha çok sevileceğim yanılgısını da. Bana kendimi asla yeterli hissetirmeyen ve herhangi bir şeyi hak etmediğimi düşündüren tüm o şüpheleri de. Değer verdiğim herkesi kıracağıma inandıran ve beni sevilemez bırakan o suçluluk duygusunu da.
Bacaklarım beni, çaresizce arkamda bırakmak istediğim o kızdan uzağa taşıdı. Ben hızlandıkça gözümden akan yaşlar da üzerimden akan su ve tere karıştı. Babasını kaybeden ve hiçbir zaman gerçek anne sevgisini tatmamış o kıza ağladım. Hayatta tek istediği yalnızca kabul edilmek olan ama ne yaparsa yapsın yeterli gelmeyen o kıza ağladım. Sevilmeyi hak eden ama bunu nasıl yapacağını bilmeyen o kıza ağladım.

📚Aşk kolaydı. Tek yapmam gereken gözlerine bakıp görebilmekti.
Hayatımın o çalkantılı evrelerinde hem aşkı hem kaybı yaşamıştım. Kaybım beni kuvvetli kılmış olsa da zayıf olduğum anlarda elimden tutan hep aşk olmuştu.