The Universe Doesn't Give a Flying Fuck About You

Epic Series

by Johnny B. Truant

If you walk around every day on eggshells, nervous about making a mistake or looking stupid, then you should read this.

If you have a "next big thing" in mind you want to do because you know it will be awesome (starting the business, making the big move, launching the nonprofit, writing the book) but are afraid of doing what it would take to make that thing happen, then you should read this.

The universe is very big. You are very small. In fact, you're so small and so insignificant in the big picture that you don't even register to the eye of the cosmos. The universe was here before you were born and will be here long after you're gone, and your life is but a blip on its vast, vast radar. If your life is to matter, it's not going to matter to the universe. It's up to you make your life matter in the only way you can: by doing things that make a difference to you, to those around you, and to those whose lives you touch. Time is short. You have exactly NOW to do whatever it is you're here to do, or to let the inexorable passage of hours and days and years kill your potential like fruit left to die on a vine.

The universe doesn’t hate you, but it doesn’t love you, either. You’re just an atom in its infinite workings. The universe doesn’t care if you live, die, suffer, or thrive. Whatever your life here will mean is up to you.

Stop worrying so much about what others think and start being who you're supposed to be. It's time to do some epic shit.

Genres: Nonfiction, Self Help, Philosophy, Psychology, Ebooks, Humor, Spirituality

13 pages, Kindle Edition

First published June 22, 2012

About the author

Johnny B. Truant is an author, blogger, and podcaster who, like the Ramones, was long denied induction into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame despite having a large cult following. He makes his online home at JohnnyBTruant.com and is the author of the Unicorn Western series, the Fat Vampire series, The Bialy Pimps, and a handful of other properties and growing every week.

You can connect with Johnny on Twitter at @JohnnyBTruant, and you should totally send him an email from JohnnyBTruant.com if the mood strikes you.

Reviews

[carol. · Rating 1 out of 5]

April 13, 8 pm

Interesting title. It seems to be free, and I'm open to a new perspective. I'll try it.

April 13, 9 pm
Okay, I get it. He's reading a bedtime story to his kid and realizes the great big universe doesn't care what each of us as individuals do. We should see that as freeing, except the way he says it is kind of harsh.

April 13, 9:15 pm
Clarification: caustic, not harsh.

April 13, 9:30 pm
This has got to be a dude playing the game on the 'easy' setting. I'm a woman. It's not like I need the reminder. Seriously, how many people need the reminder that the world--loosely couched as 'the universe'--doesn't give a fuck about them? There's evidence all around us, every day, of the multitude of ways that our lives don't matter, from the neighbor down the street to the local government, to the corporations, to the U.N., to the universe. Isn't that what the "Black Lives Matter" movement is about? Reminding people that they do matter, because they are used to not having anyone give a flying fuck about them? The person who needs to read about the universe not caring is probably the least likely person to do it, because they aren't going to be looking at a self-help blog.

April 13, 9:45 pm
That isn't very charitable of me. I should find out more about the author. Maybe he struggles with anxiety or depression, and this is his way of trying to motivate himself into action.

April 15, 2:00 pm
Hm, shared blog seems to just have podcasts, but hasn't been updated since January 2014. There's a link to his new site.

April 15, 2:15 pm
Okay, this seems interesting. I like the idea that our stories define us.

April 15, 2:45 pm
Okay, I found the link to his personal, current site. I was right. Lowest setting. Had it all, real estate, investments, blah-blah, lost it, realized he could still have it all if he re-defined 'all.' Now home-schooling his kid. Seems to be confirming all (misguided) assumptions that home-schooling means screwing around (as a parent).

April 15, 3 pm
Wow, he's arrogant: He now "runs a community called 'How to Be Legendary.'" Part of being legendary means cutting back on time wasters, like answering blog questions and sleeping. It appears he he gets his health information from a Cracker Jack Box (eat a giant meal once a day and sleep less than 6 hours). Link from About: How to do so many diverse and awesome things that people will want to punch you in the face." Well, yes. I already do and I only read part of your story.

Infinity:
DNF

[Khanh, first of her name, mother of bunnies]

This is probably the best book title I've ever seen in my life.

[Sidrah Anum · Rating 5 out of 5]

“even though the universe doesn't care enough to give you what you want, it doesn't care enough to stop you from having it, either. So embrace that anarchy, and take those things for yourself.”
Well you really don't matter to the universe. All you matter is to yourself. So stop thinking what the tiniest of your act will result in and just go out there and do whatever it was your heart has been so insistent on doing for the longest time.
Truth explained humorously. Good book!

[Anna · Rating 5 out of 5]

In following with my 2013 reading challenge
* self-help in any capacity
* try something new: read a male author

boom we have a winner and its my signature expression!!!

I love the bottom line message :

Stop worrying so much about what others think and start being who you're supposed to be. It's time to do some epic shit❤❤❤

[Alex ☣ Deranged KittyCat ☣ · Rating 4 out of 5]

Everything dies. Everything. You were born with a terminal disease, just like everything else that has ever existed. You, your lamp, the sun, and the Bee Gees all have that in common.
This, like the universe's apathy, is neither good nor bad. It is simply a fact.

The Universe Doesn't Give a Flying Fuck About You is a short (only 13 pages according to GR) and funny story. It is also concise. There are no useless words or metaphors. And the title sums up the book pretty good.

Do yourself a favor, and realize two things:
1. You will keep getting older, and then you will die.
2. Everything that's ever entered your experience has lasted and will continue to last for only a brief moment in the life of the universe.

[Rachel · Rating 1 out of 5]

I got this short onto my kindle because I was intrigued by the title, however I feel it was a complete waste of the five minutes it took me to read it. Rather than being "self help" it was more like the ramblings of a young bloke in a pub after a couple of pints when he thinks his audience is more interested than they really are in what he has to say. The gist of it is that the Universe is big, and you are small, so do what makes you happy. Some reviews have stated that it has given them a kick up the backside into get on and do something they have been putting off, so it must be an effective self-help tool for some people. But for me, I'd rather not read a book that tells you to "do epic shit" which just made me roll my eyes at the author.

[✟Roxanne✟(Death by Book Avalanche) ☠ · Rating 4 out of 5]

4 Stars

My first reaction after finishing this short ebook?



Duuuuuuuude!

This made me feel so small...



The truth being that the Universe doesn't give a fuck about you! Whether you live or die, whether you're happy or sad, or whether you're at peace or war.
If you're like me and you're afraid to take chances because you have a fear of failure or you're afraid of what other people may think then you need to read this...it may be the kick in the pants that you need.

It was just too short...I wanted more as it was very inspiring.

It's time to do something epic! It's time to do something amazing! It's time to be...

[RM(Alwaysdaddygirl) · Rating 5 out of 5]

Awesome!

5 stars:

-This is a very short book. However, it is filled with wisdom about about life. The author gives it raw. There is no hand holding. There is no sugar coating.

-He use profanity here and there. Too me, not a lot. If your sensitive then do not read this book. If you are not sensitive, read this book.

🇺🇸🌺

[Amin · Rating 1 out of 5]

"English below"
مسخره است نوشتن کتابی که انگار راهنمای ساده انگارانه فهم بشر است یا صرفا ابزاری تبلیغاتی برای مشهور کردن وبسایت یا برنامه فکری دیگری است. اگر کسی به راهنمایی ها و نصایح کتاب اعتقاد دارد، این کتاب چیز تازه ای به آن اضافه نمی کند و اگر اعتقاد ندارد، دیگر احمقانه است که بگوییم ذهنت را با شنیدن حرفهایی تغییر بده که می گویند "این کار را بکن، دنبال دلیل باش، با خودت رو راست باش" یا با شنیدن راه حلهایی احمقانه که "اگر نگران مرگ و پایان هستی، دیگر نباش!". باور کنید این عین متن کتاب است. حتی نویسنده به خودش زحمت فکر به عقاید و دیدگاههای مختلف مخاطبان را هم نداده تا کمی جا برای این فکر باز شود که ممکن است یک راه حل بسان یک چکش برای زندگی مردم داشته باشم، اما همه آنها میخ های یکسانی نیستند که در دیوار دیدگاههای من فرو روند

What is this exactly? Like a self-help book with a naive understanding of humanity and without any case or example, or just an essay for promoting a website or other intellectual products? if someone believes in such advice, then this book has nothing to offer, and if not, then it is ridiculous to change mind after listening to someone only suggesting do this, do that: " Write a treatise. Create an event. Champion a cause. Build something great. Speak your mind. Make the call. Build the business. Author the book. Send the email. Do it. Do it." or offering absurd solutions: " If you're worried about death and about your own end, don't". The author even doesn't care about different beliefs, religions, ideologies, etc. which might change the suggested simplistic solutions.

[Sheila · Rating 4 out of 5]

This short book was free on kindle, and since the title caught my eye I downloaded it to see what else it said. I would recommend this book (since it is such a quick read) to anyone who is feeling down about themselves. Some of the author's advice from the book:

"Maybe there's a grand conductor, and maybe there's not. I do happen to believe in God, or the Spirit of Life, or the Force for all I know, but regardless of belief or disbelief, one thing I know for certain is that no matter WHAT or WHO is out there, he or it doesn't "care" if you define "care" in terms of life and death. Nobody is special. Nobody gets a pass. Everything dies. Everything."

So since we are all going to die in a relatively short time, the author recommends this advice for life:

"Grab it. Become it. Claim it. Write a treatise. Create an event. Champion a cause. Build something great. Speak your mind. Make the call. Build the business. Author the book. Send the email. Do it. Do it.
If you fail, big deal.
You might write something and nobody might read it. You might build it and nobody might come. You could fail and ruin your life. You could take a chance and end up looking really, really stupid. Boo-fucking-hoo.
It doesn't matter.

And the author offers this piece of advice also:

"You don't matter to the planets and the sun and the stars, but you matter to YOU. You matter to those around you. You matter to those you can reach, and touch, and who you live and die with.
Stop waiting for someone to give you what you want. The universe is too busy to care. It has worlds to create and galaxies to destroy. If you're worried about death and about your own end, don't. It's coming whether you like it or not. You will either arrive at the end of your life in style, or you will arrive broken and beaten, but whichever way you choose, have no doubt that you WILL ARRIVE.
There is only now. If you have power, it's now."

And one of his final closing pieces of advice is:

Be awesome. Do epic shit. Do it now. The clock is ticking."

This is free on amazon for anyone who wants to read the whole thing, and in the "about the author" notes, the author encourages the reader to "Send this book to friends. Meaning: Just SEND them this actual file. I don't give a shit that you're passing it around for free. You have my permission.

Thanks, Johnny!

[Joe Barlow · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a powerful but ultra-short (13 page) manifesto from Johnny B. Truant, the outspoken and hilarious author of the FAT VAMPIRE series, and co-author of UNICORN WESTERN and THE BEAM, among many others. It's essentially a wake-up call for creative types, reminding us that life is a finite resource, and that every moment we waste is a moment we'll never get back.

It's a free download from most eBook retailers, and it's required reading for anyone who claims to have a goal (writing a novel, learning to play guitar, etc.), but never gets around to pursuing it, because they choose to watch TV (or whatever their particular vice may be) instead.

Incidentally, in the time it took you to read this mini-review, Johnny B. Truant has probably published ten new books.

[StarMan]

An interesting and completely unratable booklet.
Currently free on Amazon.com.

Strangely, the universe apparently sometimes balances things out:

[Constantine · Rating 2 out of 5]

Rating: 2.5/5.0

After reading all the positive reviews I thought this would be a great short book. It turned out to be just an ordinary one. Simple words, it was OK but definitely not an inspirational one as I expected.

[Shikha · Rating 2 out of 5]

Title: Quite catchy!
Content : Nothing new.

It's more of an essay/blog post than a book. It's to the point, and has made a good attempt at being motivational and humorous at the same time. However, it's nothing of the slap-on-your-face sorts.

"This is game time, champ. You're in. You're in, playing, right now, and the clock is ticking."

Key points:
1) Nobody cares about you. You're merely a tiny speck in this vast universe.
2) The only one who should care is you!
3) The clock is ticking. Do epic $h!t.

"The universe doesn't hate you,but it doesn't love you, either. You're just an atom in its infinite workings."

It's a 10 minute read. Go ahead if it pleases you, otherwise there's nothing you'll be missing.

[Chiara · Rating 1 out of 5]

To be honest I was attracted to this book because of the brilliant tittle, but i was disappointed by its content. It is a cliché self-help book telling you to do something with your life, lets just say there's a reason why it's free.

[Kerrin Proctor · Rating 5 out of 5]

Such a quirky book yet has such a meaningful message. Make the most of life because you're only here for an insignificant amount of time. The universe doesn't care about you, but you should care about you. Everyone should read this book. It definitely puts things in perspective.

[Velvetink · Rating 5 out of 5]

kindle. Puts things in perspective. Life is short, we are tiny, just grab hold of your life and do epic shit.

[Cole · Rating 4 out of 5]

I was on my bike pedaling home from work today lost in thought, hating my job and feeling miserable about the recent shitty circumstances in my life when the next thing I know a car slams into me and I'm somersaulting through the air (which apparently was awesome according to the witnesses). If you're asking yourself, what happened next, let me tell you....I sat up, looked at the mangled bike and walked off the road.

So here I am several hours later hurting like hell and looking around on Goodreads when I stumble across The Universe Doesn't Give a Flying Fuck About You by Johnny B. Truant. With the day I had, a title like that and the fact that it was free, I had to have it. It made me laugh...it made me think...this couldn't have been more appropriate:

"If you knew how small you are and how short a time you have to do what you can, you wouldn't waste time watching five fucking hours of TV a day. You wouldn't waste time doing a job you hate. You wouldn't waste the little time you have dealing with assholes, feeling sorry for yourself, or being timid about the things you'd really like to do."


EVERYBODY NEEDS TO READ THIS!!

Thank you Mr. Truant for throwing it in my face that I need to stop being a pussy and do some epic shit!!

[Karl Wiggins · Rating 5 out of 5]

Should be mandatory reading for teenagers the world over.

Actually ‘The Universe ….’ should be mandatory reading for everyone.

I was blown away by this book. Move over Tony Robbins, Deepak Chopra, Dale Carnegie, Ziggy Ziglar, Wayne Dyer, Stephen Covey, Mark Victor Hansen and the rest. Johnny Truant is the new generation.

This is a very short book – I think I finished it in 18 minutes – but I’ve immediately insisted my son read it. The universe actually couldn’t give a flying f*ck about you. You’re no more than an ant on the pavement. You’ll survive just as long as no one treads on you. And that’s it. No longer. If you make it across the pavement today, you’re probably going to get stepped on tomorrow.

In fact the only person who does give a sh*t about you is YOU! That’s the message. You’re the only one who cares about you. You and the people who love you. And that is the only reason you need to start that business, to write that book, to join that band, to try out for that football team, to open that restaurant …. to follow your dream NOW!

That’s the message, but Truant puts it over in such a down-to-earth no crap manner. Do yourself a favour. Download this book and insist your whole family reads it.

Absolutely a 5 Star!

[Aarti Patel · Rating 1 out of 5]

Like a lot of people, I started this book because of the title. What I found inside was a problem being answered with a solution that just perpetuates the problem. Problem: we should all realize that we aren't immortal and that the universe doesn't care about our survival. Solution: we need to live in the NOW and just be "epic" every day (which is the talk of immortality). Trying to be epic each and every moment is something we're already encouraged to be by media, culture, and society. It's not a very motivating or realistic message at the end of the day, even when worded with jarring language like the book uses. A moment-to-moment epic mindset can easily lead to apathy, boredom, anxiety, and depression. I guess I also have to mention--one of the lines suggests to write a book as an example of something epic to do in life. This book is 13 pages long, I don't know if epic is the right word for that. I have no problem with the gusto of "just do it" in life as exemplified by Michael Jordan, but the specific message of this book just doesn't do it for me.

[Tracey · Rating 5 out of 5]

Very short free ebook... so read it, you have nothing to loose!
The author gives their views on the place of the human in the universe and what they feel should be our response to this in how we live. This is not about religion, by the way, and is not a challenge to how we got here or any ultimate purpose.
I have to say I agree wholeheartedly with the author's sentiments. You have very little time so use it wisely and productively.
I would recommend this to anyone who is 'waiting to be given permission to live' or holding back because of concern over 'what people think'.

[Nate Solberg · Rating 4 out of 5]

Brash and bold, makes me think of a punk version of the desiderata. For whatever reason this was something I needed to read, and Amazon provided it for free. I enjoyed it, both the brevity and the carefree use of the foul language. There are times when I think that's perfectly appropriate, and today it all seemed to work. I agree with the message of this short work, and I'll likely come back to it from time to time. There truly is a certain genius in daring to be bold. Fun stuff!

[Adrian · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book doesn't say anything that you probably never heard before or haven't thought of by yourself already, however it's short and to the point. It doesn't beat around the bush and tells you exactly what you need to hear. Plus, the tone is quite appropriate, in a flashy-loudmouth-mentor kinda way.

If you ever need some motivation, this quick (and free!) read is worth it.

[Louise · Rating 4 out of 5]

"There's a drinking game in Heaven, where angels do a shot every time humans invest "for the long term""

Oh, and the Bee Gees reference!! :'D

I'd like to read a full-length novel version of this, because as much as I liked his ideas, I didn't quite enjoy the super inspirational tone so typical to blog posts.
Anyway, it wouldn't do harm if someone read this to me every fucking morning :D

[Angela Vas · Rating 4 out of 5]

Well said and to the point.
The universe doesn't give a shit about you, so do what you want, stop worrying.
In theory it makes sense and It's a great idea, but it's easier said than done.
Still it's a short, great message to humanity.

[Scott Meadows · Rating 2 out of 5]

Meh. Just another attempt to insert a witty and childish vocabulary into a absurdist philosophy to just do something. Mediocre response to anxiety. Pretends to be profound, but ended up sounding more like an urban philosopher on acid.

[J K · Rating 3 out of 5]

Realistic and uncompromising. A call to arms! Wel, to keyboards anyway....get writing/taking over the world.....

[Anne · Rating 5 out of 5]

First thought: this shit scares the hell out of me
second thought: I will present my best friend with a parachuting gift coupon for her birthday, so that we can jump out of a plane together 😁

[Suélen Fernandes · Rating 3 out of 5]

Eu amo o conceito ler auto ajuda pra achar que tá fazendo alguma coisa com a sua vida mas nunca necessariamente fazer nada KKKKKK mas eu adoro me deixa empolgada, esse aqui é o same old same old você tem pouco tempo comparado a infinidade do universo então não fique aí de bunda mole mas não ensina nada porém te da um gás de 10 minutos

[H.A. Leuschel · Rating 4 out of 5]

'You don't matter to the planets and the sun and the stars, but you matter to YOU. You matter to those around you. You matter to those you can reach, and touch, and who you live and die with.'

This is a fun, laugh out loud essay on the futility of wasting your time on things you don't like, and arguing that delaying to engage with what matters is a mistake considering that our lives are just a wee blip in the history of the universe.