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Cash Out

3.41  ·  Rating details ·  309 ratings  ·  66 reviews
Imagine a story by Ben Mezrich (The Accidental Billionaires, 21) of staggering financial improprieties infused with Tim Dorsey's (Hurricane Punch, Gator A-Go-Go) zany, over-the-top pure insanity, and you might have something somewhat resembling Cash Out, the rollicking debut novel by Greg Bardsley. This is nonstop, mercilessly hilarious, no-holds-barred fiction for fans of ...more
Paperback, 400 pages
Published October 9th 2012 by Harper Perennial
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Average rating 3.41  · 
Rating details
 ·  309 ratings  ·  66 reviews

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Greg Bardsley
May 26, 2012 rated it it was amazing  ·  (Review from the author)
From what I understand, I might be biased, as I wrote CASH OUT.
May 23, 2016 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
What a great random find. Proper satires are difficult enough to come by, especially quality ones. Dan Jordan is having a tough few days. He's dangerously close to cashing out of his cushy, but ultimately soul stealing, Silicon Valley job with a seven figure payout and buying himself and his family a happy new life. But first he has to grapple with blackmail threats, marital problems, obnoxious coworkers, insane neighbors, devastated set of balls (literally anatomically so), crazed college girls ...more
F.T. Bradley
Oct 10, 2012 rated it it was amazing
When I read that CASH OUT was supposed to be like Office Space, I was skeptical. I'm a fan of that movie, so this book had better be good, I thought when I started reading.

CASH OUT is better. The book features Dan Jordan, who just had a vasectomy and just needs three days before his stock option at his firm mature, so he can cash-out. But Dan made some questionable choices, and now a posse of angry IT guys are blackmailing him, and there's some corporate muscle on his tail... Things
Jun 23, 2012 rated it did not like it
I should just never read the blurbage on books, because this was supposed to be a "sidesplitting romp" and, well, after 100-ish pages, I was waiting for even a mild chuckle.

Obviously I didn't read far enough to find out why two apparently unrelated groups were going after Dan (or possibly it's only about his soon-to-vest stock options that will make him a millionaire - single million, by the way, not serious IT venture money). Nor did I really care why, or whether or not he and his wife would m
Chris O'Brien
Oct 30, 2012 rated it really liked it
Shelves: 2012
This was another book that just landed on my desk. I was looking for a good read for a recent plane trip, and grabbed it out of my trunk at the airport, not knowing much about the book or Bardsley. Must say, it was the best of surprises. It's about a former newspaper reporter who has sold out to work for a dot-com who is on the verge of cashing out his options before everything unravels. The pace is fast, and the storytelling sharp and very, very funny. And on a personal level, it didn't hurt th ...more
Book Review & Giveaway: We’re participating in the Thankful for Books Giveaway Hop, and our giveaway for that hop is Cash Out by Greg Bardsley. I’m dedicating my review of this hilariously funny romp to all the folks I used to work with in the industry. I think it’s also going to reinforce all of the stereotypes about the nuts who live in California but that’s okay because we’re damn proud to be nuts out here. The Los Angeles Times Review of Books called Cash Out “a psychotic head-sc ...more
Mark Richardson
Jul 24, 2012 rated it it was amazing
Shelves: community
Cash Out is a wonderful combination of the bizarre, hysterical, and gruesome. I was first turned on to Greg Bardsley's writing a few years ago when I read his short story "Upper Decking." Amazing! He has a very distinct voice: funny, somewhat crime centric, off-beat characters, a little violence thrown in. I agree with another review that I could see Cash Out being turned into a movie. A future cult classic, like The Big Lebowski. Buy it. Read it.
H R Koelling
Jan 22, 2013 rated it it was amazing
A really wonderful and entertaining book. I finished it in record time. There are some very well developed and interesting characters, such as Crazy Larry (who reminds me a bit of Serge Storms, from Tim Dorsey novels) and Calhoun (who reminds me, a bit, of Newman on Seinfeld). I laughed very hard at times. The plot is pretty straightforward, but still original and zany. Very well written and poignant at times, too.
Jul 09, 2012 added it
Not excruciatingly bad--but close. A truly hateful protagonist -- hateful in that he has NO IDEA he's hateful (but he is).

I've revised my review: I thought one star was the default, but I found out you can clear all stars--this book is that bad.
Jun 18, 2012 rated it did not like it
I'm a big fan of testicle-based humor and office satires, but Cash Out didn't deliver a single LOL for me. I don't want to be a jerk, but I think the back cover copy ("Office Space as remade by the creators of The Hangover," "side-splitting," etc.) over-promises, to say the least.
Ian Griffin
Jun 24, 2013 rated it liked it
Cash Out by Greg Bardsley does for Silicon Valley what Hunter S. Thompson did for Las Vegas. His new novel, Cash Out, is a 400-page gonzo-journalism inspired riff on a bizarre world hidden behind the bland office parks and drab suburbs of the San Francisco Bay Area.

His alter-ego, Dan Jordan, is days away from seeing his $1 million stock options vest, yet the moment he leaves the medical office where's he's just had a vasectomy, things start unraveling. He's kidnapped by a rabid band
Aug 07, 2012 rated it it was amazing
Shelves: humor, mystery, favorites, own
Daniel Jordon is a speak writer for Stephen Fritzroy at FlowBids. He is getting ready to cash out his options which will mean he will be in a lot of money, he just has to last a few more days. However, after receiving a vasectomy, which is how the book starts out him in the doctors office getting the procedure, he is attacked by three geeks. Unsure of what they really want from him he goes to the grocery store to pick up some peas for relief to the area of his recent procedure. While getting the ...more
Nov 22, 2012 rated it really liked it
Dan Jordan, speech writer for the CEO of FlowBid, a Silicon Valley startup. And in three days, he can cash out his stock and be an instant millionaire. Then he and his wife could live the lives they’ve dreamed of. Only one problem, in those three days, he gets a vasectomy, is kidnapped, and threatened to be exposed for some illicit behavior at work. Where it all leads to is one humorous rollercoaster of a ride.

This faced pace comical story is an easy read (it does have raunchy dialogue).
Aug 15, 2012 rated it really liked it
Shelves: first-reads
I received this book for free through Goodreads First Reads.
Greg Bardsley's book Cash Out is a delightful read. It is a fast pace, action filled and witty novel. Overall Bardsley has done a splendid job telling us a story full of twists and turns that keeps the reader hanging on every word.
Dec 01, 2012 rated it it was amazing
A laugh-out loud, totally original send-up of Silicon Valley. Greg Bardsley is a fresh new talent, and his writing goes down as smoothly as a cold beer on a hot day. Loved this book and can't wait to read Bardsley's follow-up. More, please.
Nov 09, 2012 rated it did not like it
Spent most of the time reading this book cringing. Not funny at all, like the author claimed. I'm glad a got an uncorrected proof at a conference and didn't pay for this crap.
Randy Briggs
Dec 21, 2012 rated it really liked it

I enjoyed the hell out of this book. Smart, entertaining, and funny. I can't wit for this author's next novel.
Feb 17, 2013 rated it did not like it
This books claims to be a satire, it's really just terrible. I kept reading hoping it would get better, did not happen. Then i kept reading to see if it would get worse, it did.
Brandon Nagel
Oct 31, 2012 rated it it was amazing
Excellent page turner. Hilarious and action packed. Highly recommended!
Rabid Reader
May 07, 2017 rated it really liked it
A bit of Carl Hiaasen meets Silicon Valley nuttiness. As a professional working in Silicon Valley for three decades, I'm not able to recognize any of the zany characters or situations. "Cashing Out" is such a rare thing that it requires 6 degrees of separation to find someone who has really made a financial killing. OTOH, I know lots of people who lost money working for start-ups. So I'd say this book is a fun _fictional_ romp through what the rest of the world perceives as happening all the tim ...more
Thomas E Bercher
Jan 23, 2019 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Good Story Telling

Cash Out starts fast and developed the characters very well. The story moved along and I found myself caring about the characters, hoping they would find a way out of the maze.
Aug 18, 2017 rated it liked it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: comedy, satire, funny
Amusing though not laugh-out-loud funny. Kept my attention well enough while I was reading it, but is not memorable in any way after finishing.
May 28, 2017 rated it really liked it
great fun read..a funny wacky story that has good depth...and keeps the thrill ride going full throttle till then end.
Shellie (Layers of Thought)
Original review by John posted at Layers of Thought.

A madcap caper set in the unlikely location of Silicon Valley – an ordinary guy tries to cash out while everyone else seems determined to try and stop him.

John's thoughts on what it's about: Dan Jordan thinks he’s a pretty ordinary guy – an ex-journalist who happened to find himself working as a speechwriter for the CEO of a Silicon Valley startup. The company grows like gangbusters and Dan’s stock options become worth over a millions dollars. But he has to be/>John's
Dan Jordan is having a really bad day. First, in an effort to show his dedication to his wife and his family, he undergoes the dreaded snip. Then, as he is hobbling towards his car for the trip home and a much-needed pack of frozen peas, he is kidnapped by three of the most unlikely criminals. To make matters worse, after his kidnappers let him go, he is assaulted by a muscle-bound man, and assaulted is actually sugar-coating the treatment he receives at the hands of this unknown bulkhead. With ...more
Aug 21, 2013 rated it liked it
Shelves: novels
I was in the mood for a lighthearted caper romp and picked this up to slake that particular thirst. I mean, a book that kicks off with a handful of tech support dudes snatching a Silicon Valley PR dude off the street and spiriting him away in a van is guaranteed to capture my attention. And while the book gamely tries to engage in the kind of outsized hi-jinks and colorful criminal bumbling that fans of Carl Hiaasen and Elmore Leonard love, it all too often veers into low comedy.

Christa Van
Feb 03, 2013 rated it really liked it
I grabbed this book based on the cover blurb that mentioned “nine kinds of twisted and funny as hell” which sounds pretty good to me. This turned out to be pretty accurate. Some of the characters in this book will stay with me. Larry, the “odd” neighbor who proves to have some pretty important kidnap and “extraction” skills when it comes down to it, and Calhoun who presents as the “special” neighbor living in a 300 square foot mother-in-law apartment who later turns out to be a multi-millionaire ...more
Jan 14, 2013 rated it it was amazing
First a short disclaimer, I have known Greg since he was in middle school? May be longer? He was my brother Mike's best friend growing up. He is incredibly special to my entire family and living proof, good guys exist.

I am so proud of Greg. This book was a really fun read. It was silly, twisted, warped, over the top, yet lovable. The characters were hysterical, memorable and amusing. The plot was right out of some caper movie. If you want a book that will make you laugh out loud with its consta
Apr 05, 2013 rated it liked it
This has a fun low stakes comic Elmore Leonard mixed with Disclosure vibe, which is an original and fun combination. For the most part, these are really great characters in a compelling situation. I write "for the most part" because there are two characters who are impossible to tell apart and redundant to a third character who was way more interesting. To wit, the second third of this book drags because we're with a character named Crazy Larry so deliberately quirky, he becomes a bore. In the l ...more
Jan 06, 2013 rated it did not like it
Recommends it for: People stuck at home, people drunk on a beach
Really? A bro-com? If I wasn't holed up at home with a cold I probably wouldn't have finished this lightweight "romp" set in Silicon Valley. The author has thrown every young professional cliche into the tale of a nice guy who gets pulled into various contrived situations as he is about to cash out his start up stock options. The funny parts are the lead character's repeated forays into examining where he went wrong. You can practically hear the author's editor saying " play up his sensitive sid ...more
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Creative Reviews: Win Cash Out by Greg Bardsley! 1 2 Nov 08, 2012 08:40AM  

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Greg Bardsley is the author of The Bob Watson [2016] and Cash Out [2012], which was listed by the New York Times as one of five notable novels written about Silicon Valley. His award-winning short fiction has appeared in numerous journals and anthologies. A former columnist and speechwriter, he lives in the San Francisco Bay area.
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