Why Does This Keep Happening to Me?: The Seven Crises We All Experience and How to Overcome Them

by Alan Downs

The Barnes & Noble Review
Ever stop and wonder why the same old stuff keeps coming up in your life? Do your romantic relationships keep ending up in the recycle bin? Are you always broke or living from paycheck to paycheck? Are you constantly battling your weight? Feeling dissatisfied with your job? If any of these usual suspects sounds familiar to you, then author Alan Downs, Ph.D., is here to help. In Why Does This Keep Happening to Me?, he'll tell you why your patterns keep repeating and what you can do to finally break the cycle.

According to Downs, those fun spin cycles we find ourselves in over and over all go back to a crisis. "A crisis happens when you experience a painful void in your life. You've done everything you know, and still, you wind up at the same place, with the same results you swore you wouldn't repeat again." And if you're like most people, you probably prefer to keep those crises in your life swept under the rug or hidden in a pile at the bottom of your closet. And that is just how these little monsters become the Godzillas of our lives.

Downs reveals that at one point or another, everyone experiences seven basic crises:

The Crisis of Passion (feeling inspired)
The Crisis of Contact (sharing your life with others)
The Crisis of Self-Confidence (believing in yourself and your gifts)
The Crisis of Individuation (being who you really are)
The Crisis of Fear (feeling in control of your life)
The Crisis of Spiritual Meaning (connecting with the big picture of it all)
The Crisis of Broken Dreams (dealing with the truth and the state of your life)


A brief quiz offered in the beginning of the book will enable you to see what crises are behind the curtains in your own life. You may find yourself surprised. Anecdotal and instructional, each following chapter breaks down each crisis into manageable bites. Downs expounds on the beliefs that shape each crisis, how they have affected the lives of others, and the four stages to resolving them. "Facing your crisis is the answer to resolving it. The choice is yours: Stay locked into the same self-defeating cycle, or free yourself to live life to the fullest. What will you choose?" (Jennifer Forman)

Genres: Psychology

272 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 2002

About the author

Alan Downs, Ph.D. is a clinical psychologist and the CEO of Michael's House.

His fifteen years of treating clients throughout America's culture have already been reflected in his numerous books in both leadership and self-help. His two most recent books include The Velvet Rage: Overcoming the Pain of Growing Up Gay in a Straight Man's World and The Half Empty Heart.