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The Wrong Sword

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Ever since he arrived in Paris, Henry the Rat has made a pretty good living selling "magic" swords to gullible knights. But when Henry sells one to Geoffrey Plantagenet, brother to King Richard, his happy days are over for good. Geoffrey forces Henry into a dangerous, uncomfortable quest for the most famous magic sword of all time, Excalibur, even though Henry is certain that it's just a myth.

Then Henry actually finds Excalibur - and his troubles really start: For Excalibur is not just the sword of heroes...it’s also the sword that won’t SHUT UP. It communicates with its owner, it knows what kind of owner it deserves, and Henry doesn’t even come close.

To keep Excalibur and the world safe from the appalling Geoffrey, Henry will have to masquerade as a knight, crash a royal wedding, rescue a princess, break a siege, penetrate the secrets of the Perilous Brotherhood, and find Excalibur’s rightful bearer, all while trying to reach an accommodation with a snotty, aristocratic hunk of steel that mocks him, takes over his body, and keeps trying to turn him into the one thing he hates most...a hero.

311 pages, ebook

First published April 13, 2012

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Ted Rabinowitz

4 books13 followers

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5 stars
21 (32%)
4 stars
22 (34%)
3 stars
16 (25%)
2 stars
4 (6%)
1 star
1 (1%)
Displaying 1 - 18 of 18 reviews
Profile Image for Anya Pavelle.
Author 5 books121 followers
May 10, 2021
I loved this book because it combined two things I adore: snark and the medieval world. Many books that touch on the medieval era have a serious tone, but The Wrong Sword introduces some much-needed levity to the genre. Highly recommended for those who want a dose of humor with their medieval references.
Profile Image for Judy Ferrell.
Author 20 books84 followers
August 16, 2020
Fun reading

What if Arthur's sword returns? What if a thief finds the sword? Ted Rabinowitz answers these questions in this delightful retelling of the Legend of Excalibur. He has given us a tale of excitement and fun. An easy read that I couldn't put down.
Profile Image for Sharrice.
1,187 reviews65 followers
September 22, 2013
See my original review at Reese's Reviews

I received a copy of The Wrong Sword for an honest review.

Henry the Rat has been living in Paris as a con artist thief for a long time. After selling their latest sword Henry thinks he’ll be set for a long time. Too bad he sold the fake sword to Geoffrey Plantagenet who offers Henry a deal. He helps him find the sword Excalibur and Geoffrey will let Henry and his friends live. So off Henry goes to try and save his skin except when he finds the wrong it won’t shut up and gets him into even more trouble. Now Henry is on a mission to save all of his close friends from Geoffrey and find a suitable knight for the noble but annoying sword Excalibur.

This review is going to be short because I don’t have too much to say about the story of Thw Wrong Sword. I gave the story a two star rating because I honestly could not get into this book at all. There was never a part of The Wrong Sword where I was finally interested in what was going on with the story or the characters and every time I had to go back and pick this story up I was dreading it. Now mind you this is personal preference and I am sure many people love Henry’s story with Excalibur but I was just not one of them.

The Wrong Sword is very action packed; there are murders, fights, wars, and a tiny love story that goes with this book. Henry is very cunning and while the sword and Henry fight and argue a lot their bond is almost unbreakable. Ted Mendelssohn wrote a very intricate story where thieves can become knights and swords can be extremely annoying.

All in all if you’re looking for a story with magic swords and lands of King Arthur are mythical and twisted then this is the book for you.
Profile Image for Sara Zaske.
Author 6 books43 followers
June 1, 2012
Henry is a faker. He helps trick Parisian nobles into buying fake swords of power, medieval knightly knock-offs, if you will, but when he tricks the wrong person, he suddenly finds himself on an all too real quest for the sword of all swords: Excalibur. You remember that one right? The one King Arthur pulled from a big rock?

The premise of The Wrong Sword would be some pretty stinky fromage if it were completely serious. But it’s not. In fact, I think its anachronistic humor is the best part. The students of Paris spout postmodern theory, at one point Henry gives a knight “A Full Merlin” by disrobing him, and the sword, well, she’s a magical pain in the butt.

The Wrong Sword delivers many laugh-out-loud moments, and the conniving Henry is more real and likeable than perhaps even King Arthur himself.

I have only a few hesitations in recommending this book (why I've given it 4 out of 5 stars): not many characters are as well-developed as Henry, and the plot drags at some points even though it’s jam-packed with action—perhaps because not all the narrow escapes are believable and a few scenes are hard to follow. It felt like one more round of editing would have polished The Wrong Sword to a better shine.

That said, The Wrong Sword a really fun adventure story and a great bargain for your e-reader. It brings all the adventure of the Roundtable without any of that high-minded chivalry merde, if you’ll excuse my French.
Profile Image for Tom.
64 reviews7 followers
January 29, 2013
Mendelssohn creates a witty tale outside the pages of myth in his depiction of the legendary Excalibur, King Arthur of Camelot’s famous sword. Set in Europe in the time of the Plantagenet family rein, a crafty thief is forced to use his guile and intellect to find Excalibur and deliver it to an unsavory contender for the British throne but when he finally pulls the famous sword from its resting place, he finds the sword has its own ideas about who should wield it. With Excalibur in hand and on the run, our reluctant hero finds himself battling more than corrupt knights as he desperately tries to save the girl, find a worthy sword bearer, and get back to his simple life.

This is a crafty story with loads of well-written humor you’ll find in the plot, dialogue, and the characters themselves. Mendelssohn has taken elements of a beloved fantasy story from our own history and added his own chapter to the tale, imbuing it with incredible color and comedic context. He may not be on the same level with Terry Pratchett, but fans of the great author will certainly enjoy and appreciate Ted Mendelssohn’s debut novel, The Wrong Sword; a witty 4.4 star fantasy novel I’d put on my top shelf.

Get your copy of The Wrong Sword today.

Tom Clementson The Motley Chronicles

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Profile Image for Star.
1,288 reviews63 followers
May 30, 2012
Henry is a thief, con artist, and a self-preservationist. When he gets on the wrong side of Prince Geoffrey Plantagenet due to his part of creating and selling “authentic” historical swords, he is forced to go on a quest for the real Excalibur. He must succeed in retrieving the sword or die like all those who went before him. Never mind the fact that Geoffrey’s men will kill him after he gets the sword. Henry is crafty and resourceful, but he is no one’s idea of a knight, let alone worthy to pull Excalibur from her resting place. Yet he does so in his wily fashion and is surprised when the sword talks to him. Starting a new chapter in his life, will Henry become more than anyone thought him capable?

The Wrong Sword is a funny, yet serious, look into the world of 12th century Paris. Henry is charming in a sleazy way and Excalibur is a sword with a stick up her butt (if she had one!). The dialogue and relationship between Henry and Excalibur is laugh out loud funny. This is a story with an intense message which is told through action packed scenes and well-developed characters. The Wrong Sword is a story which will capture your imagination with colorful descriptions and sword-fighting adventure. Even though it is billed as a YA novel, this is truly a story for all ages to enjoy!

The Wrong Sword Series: The Wrong Sword (1)
4 reviews
July 10, 2020
Please sequal

I have read thousands of books in this genre. This is one of my favourite. If there is anything negative to be said is the author has not continued on this work. Or made a audiobook. Would love to see more don this author
Profile Image for Alan.
42 reviews
April 14, 2014
If you like fantasy novels, have you ever felt dragged down by the sheer ponderousness of reading a bunch of them? Not just the bad ones (like the middle books of the Wheel of Time) but even the good ones (Donaldson, other WoT books) or great ones (Tolkein, etc)? I was feeling that way when I read The Wrong Sword and it was exactly the antidote I needed. Realistic characters, humor mixed with fast-paced action, stakes that felt both large and believably small at the same time. I didn't expect to actually laugh while reading a non-Terry Pratchett fantasy book ... but I did. Don't get me wrong -- it's a straight up fantasy, not a parody or a comedy but bits of humor and characters acting like ordinary people were things I hadn't realized I was missing until I read a book that still had them.

If I could figure out how to give 4.5 stars on Goodreads, I would. So, I'll round up for the novelty of it.
Profile Image for Jennifer (bunnyreads).
472 reviews73 followers
April 12, 2017
What a great book!

Good witty dialogue, lots of action and likeable characters, in a cool setting. All of that combined to make for a good fun plot.

The charm of this story is that it doesn’t take itself too seriously. The story progressed with a nice balance of action, adventure and humor and although the last fifty or so pages took on a more serious tone, it doesn’t lose its sense of humor for long.

The only thing that is stopping me from giving this full five stars is that a few times I had a hard time following some of the conversations and had to reread them to figure out who was talking.

Anyway, totally fun story! Just the break I needed from all the grimdark. I am disappointed to see that this is the authors only book though.

Calling this one a 4.5

Profile Image for Diane.
416 reviews7 followers
April 18, 2016
Loved this book! Henry, the least likely person to be able to pull Excalibur out of the stone, wishes he never did. Excalibur is a snarky, know-it-all, self-centered sword. My kind of sword! I was laughing out loud throughout this book. The characters were well defined, some lovable, some not of course. But Excalibur was the best! I will look for other books by Ted Rabinowitz now hoping they are all this good!
Why oh why can't we give a 4.5 or 4.75 stars on Goodreads? This book would totally get a 4.75! Read it when you want something light and funny with romance, killing, unlikely friendships and the requisite evil prince.
102 reviews1 follower
October 22, 2015
Good old story with cliche

It's a good story that's a lot of fun and I would recommend it the book to people who like king Arthur. And the French.
373 reviews1 follower
December 11, 2015
I loved this book---it was better than I thought it would be. I am now a loyal Ted Rabinowitz fan. I am going to look up this other books and put them on my list. This is a MUST read. Enjoy.
Profile Image for Janette Bach.
Author 5 books5 followers
August 22, 2020
Funny adventure about a con artist and a famous sword who is sentient.
Profile Image for Mina.
1,012 reviews120 followers
October 20, 2022
A sword like a judgemental grandmother. Could I be more charmed?
54 reviews
October 21, 2015
This wasn't too bad. It is a book about a thief who is forced to pick up Excalibur and then has to suffer the consequences (as he is a bad match for the sword). He has to get the sword to the right person (he doesn't want it) and the sword (which is aware and able to communicate) is rather picky about the right person and the methods to use to: 1. help his friends who fall into trouble and 2. get the sword into the right hands.

Unfortunately, the humor is not as funny as it could be. The story becomes a bit tedious.
Profile Image for Lon Bixby.
Author 28 books21 followers
August 16, 2013
A Fantabulous Good Read!

The Wrong Sword is a well written and fast paced tale made up of action, adventure, chivalry, myth, romance, and most importantly - fun!

The story and characters are well developed, and the fresh, new twist on Excalibur had me intrigued from the very beginning and kept me interested until the end.

I highly recommend The Wrong Sword and cannot wait for the sequel(s).
Displaying 1 - 18 of 18 reviews

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