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The Bialy Pimps

3.59  ·  Rating details ·  138 Ratings  ·  25 Reviews
Life is good at Bingham's Bagel Deli. The loathed customers are dealt the poor treatment they seem to deserve, bad rap music is played loudly, and The Rat is killed often enough to stem his immortality. And the insane homeless regulars -- like drunken Little Johnny Redbeard -- keep life interesting.

But when a rival tricks the crew into thinking that the deli's closure is i
Kindle Edition, 421 pages
Published February 13th 2012
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Jul 25, 2012 rated it it was amazing
Recommended to Jerry by: Johnny Truant
Great read...Johnny B.'s characteristic wit and wicked-sharp sense of the ridiculous that his blog readers have come to know and love make this tale of revenge and bagels one to tell your friends about!
Garrett Robinson
A Note: I first posted this review on my blog and have only just moved it to Goodreads. When I did so, I read through some of the other reviews and was shocked to see the number of low-star reviews of this book (which, as you'll see, I adore).

I think that readers of this book will be split down the middle, and I think it mostly has to do with age. Younger generations, late-70's babies and younger, all the way down to millennials, will be able to relate to the characters and situations in this bo
Apr 08, 2012 rated it really liked it
Shelves: fun-or-frivolity
This book is frickin' hilarious. It's the breed of humor I call stupid/funny, but being able to write stupid/funny and have it stay funny for that long is nothing short of genius. I read this in 15-minutes sessions over 3 weeks, and I laughed out loud at least once in every session, up until things got kind of serious at the end. I am in awe.

The book is about a band of rude college students who work in Bingham's Bagel Deli. When they're pushed to the limits, they get desperate and snap. To every
Nov 06, 2012 rated it it was amazing
A Fast-Paced Multi-Layered Plot, Hilarious Three Dimensional Characters, and a "Supernatural Rat."

Just finished The Bialy Pimps, man what a ride. I’m pretty sure I purchased the eBook immediately after reading "The Universe Doesn't Give A Flying F**k About You" by the same author; which was brilliant.

I've never been much of a blog reader until recently so I had no idea who this Johnny B. Truant guy was.

The first thing I'll mention about Bialy is the note from the author that immediately follows
Dava Stewart
Sep 28, 2012 rated it liked it
I wish that 3.5 stars were an option. I wish that with lots of books. Three stars is middle of the road, though, and that's where the Bialy Pimps falls for me. I enjoyed it, but probably won't read it again.

This is a funny book, and based on the writer's experiences in college - albeit loosely. I could sense that connection with real people and a real past throughout the story, and the author's note at the end confirmed the relationship. The affection and attachment comes through clearly, and,
S. Wideman
Jan 30, 2013 rated it did not like it
I couldn't finish this book. I thought it was going to be much better than it was due to all the great reviews I saw for it. However, it really disappointed me. It's like, the literary version of The Hangover or some other movie that panders to the lowest common denomiator.

The characters were very flat and spiteful. It's obvious they don't like their job, and have just enough brain cells to know they can't work anywhere else. Their attitude would get them fired at any other job that requires 1%
Jul 30, 2013 rated it really liked it
I'm a big fan of Johnny's writing and I finally got around to reading his first "literary baby." Having read his Fat Vampire series, a few of the Unicorn Western's and recently, The Beam, I thought it would be interesting to see his beginnings.

It was obvious this was an homage to his days back in college. The characters, the setting and the ridiculousness of it all screamed love letter to my friends - and that was okay! The book was very fun to read and had its moments where I was laughing up a
Sep 14, 2012 rated it liked it
This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here.
Christine Frost
Feb 20, 2013 rated it really liked it
Bialy Pimps is an outrageous '90s-era slacker-fantasy that gives a nod to Kevin Smith's style of humor, and if Clerks was a lengthy novel, it probably would be a lot like this book. Granted, it's not for everyone--people with delicate sensibilities may wish to pass this one by. But if you're into wild pranks and crazy capers, and recall with fondness the lengthy ramblings that are precious to those of us who wiled away the hours in our early twenties in some service job where philosophical discu ...more
Veronica Peters
Dec 27, 2012 rated it really liked it
I read this book in one sitting and laughed a hell of a lot. I didn't want to like it, because I didn't really like most of the characters, but somehow Mr. Truant kept it funny all the way through. His style of writing isn't for everyone, but if you like people who poke serious fun at The Way Things Are, you might like this.

Anyone who's served food to people for a living will get some laughs out of this one. I have, and I did!
Joe Barlow
Feb 14, 2014 rated it really liked it
It's too simplistic to call this "Clerks in a Deli," but that description will give you a reasonable idea of what you're in for. Part coming-of-age story for the late '90s generation, part hilarious satire of the customer service industry. Very clever, and very funny. Written with love and affection by Johnny B. Truant, co-author of the Unicorn Western series (and many more).
Teri Temme
May 05, 2013 rated it it was amazing
I love the characters in this story! There were many times I wondered why I was still reading (I didn't want to be one of their customers), but something always pulled me back into the story. I needed to know what happened. What outrageous thing would they get away with next? A really fun read and also an important message. I highly recommend this book.
May 08, 2013 rated it it was ok
If it were not for a few (very few) funny moments, this would have been given the dreaded one-star and put down before the end. It *really* repeats itself and drags on while somehow still not adequately tying up all the loose ends. Disappointing as it held promise.
Ray Charbonneau
Jul 30, 2012 rated it did not like it
Shelves: general-fiction, dnf
Gave up. All the characters are cardboard or hateful, and I didn't care about the plot, assuming the competition between two shops was the plot. If it wasn't, then the book lacked a plot.
Joe Arieno
Jun 20, 2016 rated it it was amazing
Enjoyably insane.
Interesting and darkly funny but too long. I lost interest and gave up.
Good read

The story is a little on the fantastical side but if you ever went to college or hated people you will enjoy it.
Jul 25, 2012 rated it really liked it
Shelves: 2012
May 22, 2012 rated it it was ok
Shelves: kindle
Kelley Shaw
Oct 19, 2013 rated it did not like it
Actually couldn't finish it. I lost interest
Erica Cosminsky
Oct 02, 2012 rated it it was amazing
Shelves: loved
Can't wait for Johnny's next books to come out. He's got to hurry up writing them.
Jan 02, 2014 rated it liked it
Weird, and very outside what I usually read, but I enjoyed it.
May 06, 2013 rated it really liked it
I finally finished!! I can't believe how long it took me to read especially since I did think it was funny - totally outrageous and unbelievable but funny.
Feb 17, 2013 rated it it was amazing
My favorite book thus far of 2012/2013. It's really funny and insightful. Perhaps even genius.
rated it it was amazing
Jul 20, 2013
Savannah Moura
rated it really liked it
Feb 23, 2017
rated it it was amazing
Jul 17, 2017
rated it really liked it
May 09, 2012
Robin Yohe
rated it it was amazing
Jul 28, 2012
rated it it was amazing
May 16, 2014
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Johnny B. Truant is an author, blogger, and podcaster who, like the Ramones, was long denied induction into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame despite having a large cult following. He makes his online home at and is the author of the Unicorn Western series, the Fat Vampire series, The Bialy Pimps, and a handful of other properties and growing every week.

You can connect with Johnny o
More about Johnny B. Truant...
“Dicky was intelligent but he ended up selling tea because he was socially retarded.” 0 likes
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