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Sex & God: How Religion Distorts Sexuality

Darrel Ray (Goodreads Author)

4.07 · Rating details · 458 ratings · 64 reviews

Why are all the major religions consumed with sex? What makes sex so important, whether Buddhism or Islam, Christianity or Mormonism? What is the impact of religion on human sexuality? This book explores this and more. It ventures into territory that has never been examined. You will be surprised at how much religion has influenced your sexuality, who you marry, the pleasu ...more

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Kindle Edition, 300 pages

Published January 10th 2012 by IPC Press

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Apr 27, 2015 Jeffrey rated it did not like it · review of another edition

Shelves: religion

Given that the Amazon blurb says "it ventures into territory that has never been examined" I was on red alert from the start. Territory that has never been examined? Are you saying this is the first book ever published on Religion and Sexuality? That's absurd. Amazon has an entire section about religions and sexuality, and a simple search of the university library system finds books and articles on the topic dating back to the mid-1800s in Religious Studies, Neurology, Psychology, Sociology, Ant Given that the Amazon blurb says "it ventures into territory that has never been examined" I was on red alert from the start. Territory that has never been examined? Are you saying this is the first book ever published on Religion and Sexuality? That's absurd. Amazon has an entire section about religions and sexuality, and a simple search of the university library system finds books and articles on the topic dating back to the mid-1800s in Religious Studies, Neurology, Psychology, Sociology, Anthropology, etc, etc. You have got to be kidding me. But maybe Ray didn't write the blurb for his self-published book. That's possible. Maybe his self-publisher did that for him.

But given this, I was hardly surprised to find the book itself read like a first year term paper, riddled with errors and unfounded and undefended assertions. The book is largely lacking any sort of citation or sources, even from Ray's own field of psychology. When he does cite things it's frequently a fellow atheists like Hitchens and Ayaan Hirsi Ali, random internet sources, and the popular media. When he does cite academic sources, which is extremely rare, he often uses poor sources or frequently gets what those sources say wrong.

This book is the perfect example of the Dunning-Kruger effect. Ray has no idea what he doesn't know about religion or religious traditions. Instead he repeatedly makes overly broad generalized statements that have no basis in reality. What little he says about Islam, Buddhism and Hinduism he gets wrong. At times he mixes up an Islamic Scholar (which he misread and quoted from a very sketchy website) with the Qur'an, at other times he implies that Buddhists pray to a higher power for salvation. I suspect having come out of a conservative Christian tradition Ray is using that tradition as his prototype for what all religions are like and thus projecting his own beliefs into other cultural and religious contexts. It's awful. In the early chapters he presents crackpot theories (Jesus was a gay female eunuch) that no academic would ever take seriously before pulling them back saying "but that's just silly". If it's just silly and nobody, including yourself, believes it, why in God's name did you just waste 3 pages explaining it?

At one point he makes the assertion that he wants to be fair and balanced in his treatment of religious biology and scientific biology. His version of fairness is anything but fair. He dedicates a total of 2 pages to religious beliefs about biology, which are filled with nothing but bible quotes. He never once examines what people actually believe, and he never once leaves the abrahamic context, although to be fair he does find two embarrassing passages from the Qur'an. It's cringe-worthy, and the entire book is reflective of this sort of thinking. One cannot judge a religion based solely on your own selective personal interpretation of it's scriptures. It's dismissive, highly biased, and incredibly suspect.

At other times he seems to be implying that Buddhists worship an all-seeing deity and believe in an eternal soul. For the most part though he ignores non-Western Religions like Hinduism and Buddhism. It's a great gaping hole in his thinking that he utterly neglects eastern traditions like Confucianism, and Daoism. Although recognizing that there are some sex-positive religions in one of the early chapters, he never bothers to come back and reflect on how these might affect his thesis that all religions need to control sex in order to propagate themselves.

His treatment is superficial, highly biased, negligent of the academic work that's come before, often times self-contradictory, and he wears his pro-polyamory and anti-religion agendas on his sleeve. ...more

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Mar 22, 2012 Richard rated it really liked it · review of another edition

If you are someone who was raised with any sort of religious indoctrination, this is probably an invaluable book. It has a great deal of very topical information about how religion and sexual practices are intertwined. The only problem I had with the book, and I am the last person to defend religion, is that the author lays the problems with infidelity and sex education among other things at the at the feet of religion. While I am am certain that religion is to blame for much of it, I feel that ...more

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Dec 25, 2013 Krubha rated it it was amazing · review of another edition

Shelves: nonfictionscience, stars-5, 2016reads

A very interesting and informative read.

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Feb 04, 2016 Fry (Evra) Morgan rated it it was ok · review of another edition

This book definitely bites off more than it can chew.

Mind you. I am as anti-religion as the author himself. So my issue is not with the book's stance. The book read more like a Facebook rant by a bullied teen rather than a, well, book. Apart from a few paragraphs scattered around, there wasn't much value. I definitely didn't learn a whole lot from this book, and almost halfway through I was only reading to justify the money I spent on it.

The author talks again and again about the fact that relig ...more

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Jun 22, 2013 Tiffany rated it it was amazing · review of another edition

This is the best book I have read to date dealing with this subject matter.
The author's experience training ministers, priests, and other religious officials combined with his work as a psychologist give him a unique point of reference to write a book that goes in depth in regards to the issues he has witnessed and assisted with.
As someone who has ambitions of one day becoming a sex and relationship therapist, I foresee this book being a staple recommendation. Imagine the world we could have i ...more

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May 25, 2012 Clarke rated it did not like it · review of another edition

Shelves: not-ever-again, did-not-finish, delete, wouldn-t-miss

I looked this book up before I purchased it and I'm still not sure how it got such high reviews for being such an awful book. I was looking for a book that had an earnest discussion about God and sex. Covering all those messy social norms we don't like to talk about. Instead the book comes off as angry ramblings. To make matters worse I suggested it for a group read. More power to the people in the group who finished it. I just like to say thanks for not chasing me from the room and still being ...more

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Nov 10, 2013 Eric rated it really liked it · review of another edition

I saw Dr. Ray give a lecture on the subject of sex and religion at a recent conference, and wasted no time in buying his book at the speakers table. He was a funny and engaging speaker. The same easy-going conversational style comes through in his book. Sex & God is as much a book of self understanding as it is a examination of the role of religion in shared sexual mores, in the sense that we are all products of the culture we are raised in, and so it is responsible for much of our identities, w ...more

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Apr 12, 2012 Kendra rated it it was amazing · review of another edition

Shelves: religion, atheism, psychology, sex-sexuality, z-added-in-april-2012, z-read-in-april-2012

Excellent book, and oh so very timely right now, with all the religious conservative crap going on here in the USA. The author covers a wide range of information covering how religion poisons sex, and yet the hypocrisy that religious people are having sex, because it's natural, and then feel guilty and dirty about it, which makes a gradually more vicious cycle as they repeat it.

An easy, fascinating read, covers the basic screwed up religions of Christianity, Islam, Judaism, as well as touches o ...more

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Feb 14, 2014 AerinLuvs rated it it was amazing · review of another edition

Shelves: reviewed, first-time-author-2-me, audiobooks-have-it-or-avail, arc, non-fiction, favorites, lendable-kindle-or-nook-etc, headshrink-books, re-reading-now, want-in-audio

This is a great book and very helpful for those who grew up with religious programming. The writer, a counselor, has counseled extensively and spoken and researched this subject extensively, and his stance is that religion doesn't belong in sexuality. It is a very sex-positive book and humanistic and interesting. I suppose some people (perhaps the strictly religious) might have a problem with the stance. It is educational and thought-provoking and I recommended it for my family members.

I will pr ...more

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Apr 27, 2013 Peter rated it it was amazing · review of another edition

Shelves: religion, sex, best-life-changers

some of this is light and fluffy, some however is very serious and important.. the chapter on sexual abuse is eye opening and worrying.have to say the cover pic was misleading , the topic is very serious. see the reviews by others on goodreads or amazon

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Feb 26, 2020 Gerhard rated it did not like it · review of another edition

The author has an intense resentment towards any organised religion. The book is filled with speculation, ranting and anecdotal stories interspersed with referenced facts.

There is very little of value in this book. There is many better books cover similar topics.

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Mar 10, 2014 Tanya rated it really liked it · review of another edition

Shelves: textbooks-academic, self-help, spiritual

I received this as an arc from netgalley in exchange for an honest review.

I really liked this book. What kept me from giving it 5 stars was that I wanted to see more academic references to support his claims because I wanted to use it in an academic setting as a required textbook. But I understand why he provides information from both academic journals and mainstream entertainment magazines and newspapers: to reach the common reader.

Dr. Ray takes us through his personal experiences with religio ...more

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Mar 28, 2015 Eric rated it liked it

Shelves: religion-atheism

A fairly interesting book about how bad religion is at sex. It's a good read for anybody that grew up religious and needs to readjust your thinking. The author said it's intended for atheist as well as religious readers, but it has the annoying, slightly condescending voice of a book that can only be appreciated by the nonreligious.

For the newly nonreligious, there's lots of interesting information on how religion is quite bad at actually keeping its followers chaste, how our biology works again ...more

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Apr 12, 2012 Stephen Starr rated it it was amazing · review of another edition

A fascinating book that blows the top off the sex control systems used by organised religion. The early chapters are perhaps a little predictable in their attack on religion, but the later chapters illustrate how religion and the agricultural societies they infect radically changed the healthier attitudes to sex and relationships held by hunter gatherer societies. I was surprised that there was no mention of the medieval church's strictures on marriage between related cousins, second cousins etc ...more

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Apr 29, 2012 Rodrigo Bressane rated it it was amazing · review of another edition

An incrediblly broad view on how religion affects sexuality and the perception we have of sex, relationships, general human behavior and values. Even though a lot can be said on the subject, by the end of the book it feels like no topic had been left unattended by the author. It's a wonderful piece that will provoke a war of thoughts for those who are still living under the sexual dictatorship of religion. And for those who already left God's realm of control, the piece is a great surce of knowl ...more

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May 24, 2015 David rated it liked it · review of another edition

Shelves: theology-defamatory

While I certainly don't share this (atheist) author's intense resentment of Christianity, I do enjoy behavioral science in all its forms, and I find there's always things to learn from reading books that differ with one's own positions.
BTW, you can judge this book by its cover. :-)

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Aug 14, 2017 Laurel rated it really liked it · review of another edition

This is a great book that covers an essential topic. I am a witness to the truth of this distortion, from having a family member who thought God told him to practice polygamy, to having siblings and boyfriends who had sexual obsessions or unhealthy avoidance, to having inappropriate private interviews as a young teenager with middle aged [untrained and unvetted] men about my sexuality. Religion plays a very dangerous game with the world's perception of sex. It can cause longterm psychological an This is a great book that covers an essential topic. I am a witness to the truth of this distortion, from having a family member who thought God told him to practice polygamy, to having siblings and boyfriends who had sexual obsessions or unhealthy avoidance, to having inappropriate private interviews as a young teenager with middle aged [untrained and unvetted] men about my sexuality. Religion plays a very dangerous game with the world's perception of sex. It can cause longterm psychological and physical damage.

I found the science behind the topic very interesting, especially a comparison of species and tribes around the world, and redefining what we consider "healthy" and "normal."

It is very clear (not just from this book, but from history and current events), that religion is a cause of sexism, disatisfaction, and abuse, worldwide. In its smallest and largest forms. That is something that we simply cannot deny. One person in a sex-negative religion cannot point fingers at someone else's sex-negative religion without being hypocritical, no matter how different they feel it is. For example, I knew many Mormons who considered themselves supportive of women, and pointed fingers at religion in the Middle East, appalled at their treatment of women. However, they are willingly participating in a church which practiced polygamy for decades (against the will of many women) and still preaches there will be polygamy in heaven, who has an all-male clergy, who teaches that a woman's highest (used to be "only") duty is to be a wife and mother, and whose women regularly vow to obey their husbands in religious ceremonies. Many (I would say most) women in the LDS church do not feel oppressed. Sure, sexual extremism in other religions could be considered worse. But it all contributes to misconception, control, anxiety, fear (and bad sex) in society. No one owns anyone else, sexually or otherwise.

The one issue that I have is that he wrapped up the book with the definitive conclusion that humans are not meant to be monogamous. It's very possible that this is true. I will take his recommendation and study up on this. I do think that divorce is not always a tragedy, and that often it's for the best. I don't always think anyone should have to have a "reason that's good enough" to get divorced, if they are unhappy or unsatisfied. But sometimes I do think that. I think that marriage is a big commitment and the partners have to decide what they're comfortable with. Ray suggests that the best-case-scenario is when a couple is married but allow each other to have sexual partners outside the marriage. That doesn't exactly feel right. If you're going to do that, why get married at all? Perhaps for the sake of children if you have them. It's possible that some couples are very happy that way, but I think he goes a little far in stating that it's the BEST scenario. Who knows, maybe it is. Maybe it's just society that teaches jealousy about partnerships. The nice thing about this conclusion though, is that he's very clear in stating that it's an equal partnership with man and woman and that both of them have freedom in this scenario.

I often wonder if men are more likely to desire more partners and have less self control, which would lead to further abuse of women--or really any partner who is more invested--or heartbreak. No different than polygamy. That could just be sexism (or distorition of genders) on my part though! He names one tribe that is very open sexually, and the women seem to actually have as much, if not more power than the men; they aren't afraid to leave if they are mistreated, etc. The society seems very functional, and there is not one gender that more likely to have more partners than another; it's very fluid. So, the concepts are all very interesting. I think it would take several generations for society to change that much, but it does already seem like it's happening. Many changes have taken place in the "information age." One of the advantages to that one tribe, I think, is that they aren't aware of the norms of other societies (or perhaps don't see the value in them); that same type of lifestyle might not even work in America, because of the different type of work/survival that we handle. Kind of like "Bringing Up Bebe," the book on French parenting... it's like yeah it's great if we have an infrastructure for that -- where daycares are free and safe and serve organic gourmet food -- but would that type of parenting work in America? (I love that book though; full of good points)

A lot of his conclusions seem to make sense, but some of them feel more like opinions. I suppose in time I might have the same opinion; but only time could tell the truth of his ideal society.

Regardless, it is a super valuable book, and I honestly wish I could give it to everyone I know of my former religion, especially the ones who are not married (well, I could give it to them but they'd be very offended, embarrassed, and unreceptive). How unfair that they are locked in a glass box... if they just look up they would realize they can climb right out. ...more

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Mar 30, 2018 Mike Vieira rated it really liked it

Though I don't agree with the author's every assertion, I do with his main points.
First, human biology does not match with the teachings of major religions, as far as sex is concerned. Religion teaches a restrictive, "one size fits all" approach to sexuality. Primate sexuality, including that of humans, does not nearly match the expectations taught by major religions. E.g. almost nobody actually lives out the religious definition of monogamy: one sexual partner only for a lifetime.
Second, relig ...more

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Jul 17, 2019 Megan rated it really liked it · review of another edition

excellent read for anyone in the church and willing to be critical or anyone who's left the church and wants to uncover some implicit messaging they aren't even aware of.

the mid-section got a bit slow, lots of research and less interesting bits, but overall a very good book that explains biological desire and cultural/religious conditioning. definitely read to the end.

Ray isn't preachy or telling you what to do, he just explains how religions distorts sexuality, and suggests alternative ways o ...more

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Jan 14, 2019 Kahawa rated it really liked it · review of another edition

This was really good, with caveats. I can definitely see some of my own programming. It's going to be difficult processing it all. I don't know where I'll end up on that.

This was pretty condemning to religion, but fair enough, religion has had its fair share of condemning everyone else. Ray comes across as a bit angsty, but I can get over that. And some of his studies listed barely support his points, but I think his points were mostly sound anyway.

I thought I might read this and have to make so ...more

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Feb 16, 2019 Fariz Abdussalam rated it did not like it · review of another edition

as a practicing Muslim, I really understand why the author has such a negative view about Islam. He does not know anything about Islam, and learn from Ayaan Hirsi Ali is a Somali-born Dutch-American activist, feminist, author, scholar and former politician and a critic of Islam. Therefore, He get a wrong interpretation of Islam.

So, my message for all readers, please don't learn Islam from this book.

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Dec 31, 2017 Amberly Page rated it liked it · review of another edition

Lots of useful and validating information here. The author lets his biases color it a bit more strongly than necessary--the research and data can stand on its own without some of the personal flavor. Regardless, it was an important step for me in reclaiming my sexuality.

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Aug 06, 2017 Johnny rated it did not like it · review of another edition

Shelves: abandoned

I thought this book would be in the spirit of other academic minded books like Sex
At Dawn. But this contained no supportable evidence and was filled with anecdotal opinion. Awful

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Nov 21, 2018 Sarah rated it really liked it · review of another edition

Well-researched.
Would love to read second time.

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Apr 14, 2020 Meredith rated it liked it · review of another edition

A little rant'y but contains some interesting information

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Feb 13, 2014 Edythe Hamilton rated it liked it · review of another edition

“I have been a psychologist for over 35 year. Before I went into psychology, I thought I was destined to be a minister…I helped train ministers, chaplains and other church officials…I saw layer upon layer of complicity in sexual scandals and financial fraud…Not all displayed this behavior, but almost all participated in hiding or ignoring it…This experience led me to a deeper study of how religion works…What if we took religion out of sex?” Yes, some church officials are guilty of these charges, “I have been a psychologist for over 35 year. Before I went into psychology, I thought I was destined to be a minister…I helped train ministers, chaplains and other church officials…I saw layer upon layer of complicity in sexual scandals and financial fraud…Not all displayed this behavior, but almost all participated in hiding or ignoring it…This experience led me to a deeper study of how religion works…What if we took religion out of sex?” Yes, some church officials are guilty of these charges, and they have repented, asked forgiveness and will answer to God for their actions. We are not to judge anyone for his or her sins against the Father. They are only human; they are not perfect men as Jesus was.
Dr. Ray states who will benefit from reading his book, “…young and not yet experienced in marriage…in a new relationship….married 10 or 20 years or more…if you are religious…” It seems he wants to reach out to those who have been taught by their religious leaders and parents that religion stops them from being able to have a satisfying sex life.
Further, Dr. Ray says that religions are changing their views and but does not change who we are. He further comments that the basis of their foundation comes from obsolete text located in the Koran, Bible, Book of Moron and other biblical teachings. Nothing in these holy books are considered obsolete or outdated to those who believe in them. In the Bible, Proverbs 22:6 says, “Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.” The Amish, for example, raise their children up in the church. At age fourteen or fifteen, they experience the traditional Rumpsringa. They are given the chance to learn how the secular world operates. Afterward, the ‘youngie’ are free to choose whether they will continue in their faith. A little known fact is that 85% out of 100 of these teenagers return to the Amish faith.
Chapter 4: Did Jesus Masturbate? “If he existed, he probably did at some point in his adolescence….If Jesus was asexual, he might never have masturbated….Maybe he was eunuch from birth. In that case how can a eunuch give advice about sex and marriage?” Luke 1:35 “And the angel answered and said unto her, The Holy Ghost shall come upon thee: therefore also that holy thing which shall be born of thee…” Jesus was part of the Holy Trinity: Father, Son and Holy Ghost. He came through the Holy Ghost in the form of a man who was perfect without sin. He was neither asexual or a eunuch, he was a spirit in the body of a man.
“Growing up in a religious environment….they learn that some practices or ideas, such as homosexuality, lust, masturbation and pornography are sinful.” “Sexually inhibited or frustrated people will eventually express sexual energy, but in ways that may be destructive of self or others.” In my opinion, if their walk with God were strong enough they would not entertain those thoughts, which can or will cause guilt or shame Dr. Ray is speaking on.
“Dr. Ray is one of the few psychologists who directly challenges religion as a impediment to healthy human sexual and relationship development. In 1990, he left religion altogether and turned his attention to the study of religion as a human phenomenon.” This book proves his beliefs against religion and his challenge to others to believe as he does. They are more subjects Dr. Ray cover but if I touch on those, this review would turn into a book itself. Sex & God is a must-read for those who want to know how non-believers think and feel. I received this book free from IPC Press for this review
...more

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Jun 18, 2013 Winston Jen rated it it was amazing · review of another edition

Rewrite your Sexual Roadmap

As Darrel outlines early on, using a map from the American Colonial era would be useless in today's modern world. Skyscrapers, back alleys, gang territory etc. would be conspicuously absent. So too with religion and sex. In the latter case, however, the consequences are far more dire than not finding the Space Needle after a few hours of sojourning in Seattle.

Religious myths about sex covers a short chapter, and some more humour is present in the Mormon "teachings" for Rewrite your Sexual Roadmap

As Darrel outlines early on, using a map from the American Colonial era would be useless in today's modern world. Skyscrapers, back alleys, gang territory etc. would be conspicuously absent. So too with religion and sex. In the latter case, however, the consequences are far more dire than not finding the Space Needle after a few hours of sojourning in Seattle.

Religious myths about sex covers a short chapter, and some more humour is present in the Mormon "teachings" for adolescents maturing into sexual beings. Tragically, the issue is largely skirted and the words "sex" and "masturbation" are eschewed in lieu of religious buzzwords and euphemisms. It's a riot.

One of the most obvious effects is the sexual repression of Catholic priests and how their seminary "education" turns them into vicious predators. As their sexual development is frozen at ages 13-16, so too is their ability to relate to adults in a romantic way. Unfortunately, their hormones still rage and 10% of them (watch Deliver Us From Evil) will become pedophiles for life. The next most obvious effect can be seen in the scandals of Ted Haggard, Difatta, Craig and Allen in a predictable pattern. It's only a matter of time before those of Frank Turek's ilk are involuntarily outed (unless they chemically castrate themselves). Only those who are asexual could possibly lead a healthy or fulfilling life as celibate prelates.

The brutality of the Magdalene Sisters can be seen in their treatment of young girls imprisoned for "crimes" such as acting seductively, sex outside the bounds of marriage and being raped. Horny nuns + sexual repression + unquestioned power = torture and abuse.

Roman and Greek sexual practices and mores are explored in great detail. Sexual practices and behaviours and dictated by cultures, not from any innate commands from on high.

What was sex like before religion? Looking at nomadic hunter-gatherer societies, women collected at least half of the food. This gave them power equal or greater than men, even in countries with full-blown women's suffrage. Sadly, these tribes were either exterminated or forcibly assimilated by agrarian tribes.

Sexual identity and kinks are formed through genetics, epigenetics (gene expression) and culture. How one is raised can leave a lasting imprint. Childhood fears of balloons popping can re-emerge as a fetish for the experience that instigated that fear to begin with.

Darrel's sex study, appearing in the book's latter half, comes to one simple (and, in hindsight, obvious) conclusion: leaving religion is the best thing you can do for your sex life. No more guilt about masturbation (it won't turn you gay). No more timorous conversations regarding kinks and fetishes. No more sex only for procreation.

Among the exemplary advice that Darrel proffers for his readers includes the notion that everyone is normal. Everyone's sexual desires are normal, and so long as no unconsenting adults or minors are being harmed, go for it! Have a blast! Humans are one of the most sexually active animals on the planet, having sex multiple times (including masturbation) without having children. ...more

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Jul 17, 2015 SDAtheistPodcast rated it it was amazing · review of another edition

“Among all American religions, Mormonism is the single most sexually guilt ridden. Mormonism scores 37%% higher in sexual guilt than even Catholics. Mormons are closely followed by Jehovah’s Witnesses, Pentecostals, and Seventh Day Adventists, all of whom score 30% higher than Catholics.”
--Sex & God by Darrel Ray

After reading that quote I *had* to read the book! Ray had a lot of interesting things to say, but his main point was that sexual guilt is not merely one of a bullet list of problems wit “Among all American religions, Mormonism is the single most sexually guilt ridden. Mormonism scores 37%% higher in sexual guilt than even Catholics. Mormons are closely followed by Jehovah’s Witnesses, Pentecostals, and Seventh Day Adventists, all of whom score 30% higher than Catholics.”
--Sex & God by Darrel Ray

After reading that quote I *had* to read the book! Ray had a lot of interesting things to say, but his main point was that sexual guilt is not merely one of a bullet list of problems with religion. Rather, it’s one of the primary methods used to capture and hold people. Because the sexual drive is so strong in human beings, creating guilt around that drive is a very powerful motivator, which keeps people returning to the religion for absolution. Religion picks something that they know you will do and commands you not to do it, knowing you will fail. Then they offer you salve for the wound they have created. Wash, rinse, repeat. This only works if they choose a very powerful biological drive.

He discusses a number of related topics, including the situation with catholic priests. He does a lot of analysis of different denominations and cults, examining how they use sex to control people. SDAs rank high on the sexual guilt and shame charts, along with all the other Victorian era American cults.

My one major gripe with the book was his assertion that choice is a concept drawn from religion that has little basis in biology. He then talks about how many people are genetically pre-disposed to be religious. If this is true, why even point out how harmful religion is? If those people can’t help it, why bother? He contradicts his own arguments by examining the ways that people’s sex lives improve after leaving religion and how to keep your kids from becoming religious. He frequently mentions the ways in which religion behaves like a virus. He’s got another book called “The God Virus,” which I might also read.

I listened to the audio version of this book, which Ray narrates himself. He's not awful, but I do think the book would have benefited from a different narrator. There are times when he adopts a defensive tone that seems unnecessary. At other times, he reads his opponent's quotes in a silly, mocking voice that will alienate people on the fence. At one point, you can tell he's recording the book at home, because what sounds like a dog collar is jingling in the background. None of this prevented me from appreciating his excellent arguments, but I think the book would be even better from a professional narrator.

~Abby
...more

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Nov 10, 2015 Elissa Anne rated it really liked it · review of another edition

When I began reading this book I was enthralled and couldn't get through it fast enough, but by the time I got to the end I was shaken to my core. Being a Universalist-Christian, I am more than willing to entertain new ideas and adapt the ones I have. Darrell presents the idea that human beings are not naturally monogamous but polygamous. He had me almost convinced. Then I remembered that just because our behaviour is more polygamous than monogamous, does not mean we were designed to be that way ...more

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Jun 16, 2014 John rated it liked it · review of another edition

As a proud atheist gay man, reading Darrel Ray’s quick treatise, Sex and God: How Religion Distorts Sexuality was largely an exercise of preaching to the anti-theist choir — particularly with regard to the Abrahamic religions’ negative effect on natural human sexual expression. Ray bought home some salient points and this offers much to ponder.

Politicians and preachers endlessly speak of the bedrock that one-man-one-woman marriage is to human existence. Yet, Ray points out that our collective hu ...more

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About Darrel Ray

Darrel Ray

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Books by Darrel Ray

The God Virus: How Religion Infects Our Lives and Culture

Teaming Up: Making the Transition to a Self-Directed Team-Based Organization

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“Religion has the capacity to silence critical thinking and create blindness in entire groups of people. It can infect the minds of followers so completely as to allow the most egregious sexual acts against children and others to go unchallenged for centuries.” — 25 likes

“We acquire both the language and religious concepts from our immediate culture – at the same time. A child cannot discriminate between useful survival information and the emotional and psychological manipulations of religion. Once infected, these ideas are deeply embedded and almost impossible to change.” — 9 likes

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Trivia About Sex & God: How Re...

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See a Problem?

Preview — Sex & God by Darrel Ray

Sex & God: How Religion Distorts Sexuality

Get A Copy

Friend Reviews

Reader Q&A

Lists with This Book

Community Reviews

new topicDiscuss This Book

Readers also enjoyed

Genres

About Darrel Ray

Books by Darrel Ray

Related Articles

Trivia About Sex & God: How Re...

Quotes from Sex & God: How Re...

new topic
Discuss This Book