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Matchmaker Mysteries #1
An Affair to Dismember
Certain to appeal to fans of Janet Evanovich, Jennifer Crusie, and Katie MacAlister, Elise Sax’s hilarious series debut introduces matchmaker-in-training Gladie Burger, who stumbles into a dangerous quagmire of murder and red-hot romance.
Three months has been Gladie Burger’s limit when it comes to staying in one place: She’s always been a temp agency kind of girl, ever ready to move on. That’s why Gladie is more than a little skeptical when her eccentric Grandma Zelda recruits her to the family business in the quaint small town of Cannes, California. Gladie is also highly unqualified: Her beloved grandmother’s business is matchmaking, and Gladie has a terrible track record with romance. Still, despite evidence to the contrary, Zelda is convinced that her granddaughter has “the gift.” But when the going gets tough, Gladie wonders if this gift has a return policy.
When Zelda’s neighbor drops dead in his kitchen, Gladie is swept into his bizarre family’s drama. Despite warnings from the (distractingly gorgeous) chief of police to steer clear of his investigation, Gladie is out to prove that her neighbor’s death was murder. It’s not too long before she’s in way over her head—with the hunky police chief, a dysfunctional family full of possible killers, and yet another mysterious and handsome man, whose attentions she’s unable to ignore. Gladie is clearly being pursued—either by true love or by a murderer. Who will catch her first?
Three months has been Gladie Burger’s limit when it comes to staying in one place: She’s always been a temp agency kind of girl, ever ready to move on. That’s why Gladie is more than a little skeptical when her eccentric Grandma Zelda recruits her to the family business in the quaint small town of Cannes, California. Gladie is also highly unqualified: Her beloved grandmother’s business is matchmaking, and Gladie has a terrible track record with romance. Still, despite evidence to the contrary, Zelda is convinced that her granddaughter has “the gift.” But when the going gets tough, Gladie wonders if this gift has a return policy.
When Zelda’s neighbor drops dead in his kitchen, Gladie is swept into his bizarre family’s drama. Despite warnings from the (distractingly gorgeous) chief of police to steer clear of his investigation, Gladie is out to prove that her neighbor’s death was murder. It’s not too long before she’s in way over her head—with the hunky police chief, a dysfunctional family full of possible killers, and yet another mysterious and handsome man, whose attentions she’s unable to ignore. Gladie is clearly being pursued—either by true love or by a murderer. Who will catch her first?
312 pages, Mass Market Paperback
First published January 29, 2013
About the author
Elise Sax
73 books890 followersElise Sax worked as a journalist for fifteen years, mostly in Paris, France. She took a detour from journalism and became a private investigator before trying her hand at writing fiction. She lives in Southern California with her two sons. An Affair to Dismember is her first novel.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 680 reviews
May 22, 2018
I can tell you right now if you will like this book or not. Take this fun quiz:
True or False:
1. You like Stephanie Plum, think her crazy hijinx are hilarious, and want to eat doughnuts with her.
2. You will excuse a weak mystery for a bunch of funny moments that make you literally LOL - and you're okay with looking like a lunatic by laughing hysterically while reading.
3. A love triangle is fine if you know it's there going into it, and it's not that serious anyway. (No cheating)
4. Man whores can be redeemed as long as the heroine makes them suffer. A lot. And, he sees his evil ways before she ever considers him.
5. Grandmas are just plain funny. (I don't have any grandmas, but when I become one, someday, I plan on being a funny grandma. I will totally rock it!)
Okay, I'm bored with this quiz now, so you probably are too.
If you answered "True", you need this book more than you need to watch that Modern Family episode you have taped. More than you need chocolate. More than you need sleep at night because you will stay up to read and wake everyone up with your laughing.
Also, it was another one I found free for Kindle on Amazon.
So, the deal is this: we meet Glady. She is basically an aimless floater in life and has worked more jobs than a 10 dollar hooker. She does what everyone does when they are super successful - moves in with her grandma.
Glady's grandma is a matchmaker. I didn't know this was the 1800's, but apparently, grandma is older than I thought. Or, matchmaking is still a thing. Or, this is fiction. I'm going to go with old grandma. No! Time traveling grandma! Yeah, I like that one.
Glady is training to do matchmaking herself, so she needs to build a good reputation in town. Unfortunately, her big outing in the town ends up with her climbing a telephone pole to rescue a plastic owl with a bunch of stoners and a fireman having to rescue her and her flashing her underwear to everyone. They now refer to her as "underwear girl". It's been good for police morale.
“Well, I’m sorry I wasn’t up there longer to give everyone a better view.”
(Police Chief): “Don’t worry about it. They all took photos with their cellphones,” he said.
The Police Chief has nicknamed her Pinky (underwear color), and is too hot for his own good. He's also a major man-whore.
Spencer Bolton had a well-known scorched-earth policy when it came to women. He was pure poison to anyone in a dress. He was the Al Qaeda of penises, and I was determined to never see him naked.
But, don't worry. She tortures him in every way possible. Not only is she amateur detectiving over who may or may not have killed her neighbor, but she is doing a better job than his cops. She also might have stolen his car at one point.
He got snippy with her over that:
“I don’t care for your tone,” I said.
“My tone? How about my gun? You like my gun?” He pulled back his jacket to show me his sidearm.
“Big bad policeman.” I pulled out the Mace.
“Is that my Mace?” Veins popped out on his neck, and his nostrils flared.
“Maybe.”
“You stole my car and my Mace?”
“I borrowed them. Don’t be so dramatic. I would have taken the shotgun, but it was locked.”
Also keeping man-whore on his toes is the fact that Glady has a new, hot neighbor who is definitely interested.
Holden’s mouth turned up into a smile. He was really handsome, like an advertisement for fresh air, muscles, and sex appeal.
Yeah, we need more advertisements for those things.
So, it's a little triangley. The police chief shows interest, but they don't actually go out on a date or anything. It is more like an attraction going on. The neighbor, on the other hand, is interested for sure and wants to date Glady if she could ever stop being the target for every lunatic or killer around.
This book was a lot of fun and I'm excited that Overdrive has more of the series.
True or False:
1. You like Stephanie Plum, think her crazy hijinx are hilarious, and want to eat doughnuts with her.
2. You will excuse a weak mystery for a bunch of funny moments that make you literally LOL - and you're okay with looking like a lunatic by laughing hysterically while reading.
3. A love triangle is fine if you know it's there going into it, and it's not that serious anyway. (No cheating)
4. Man whores can be redeemed as long as the heroine makes them suffer. A lot. And, he sees his evil ways before she ever considers him.
5. Grandmas are just plain funny. (I don't have any grandmas, but when I become one, someday, I plan on being a funny grandma. I will totally rock it!)
Okay, I'm bored with this quiz now, so you probably are too.
If you answered "True", you need this book more than you need to watch that Modern Family episode you have taped. More than you need chocolate. More than you need sleep at night because you will stay up to read and wake everyone up with your laughing.
Also, it was another one I found free for Kindle on Amazon.
So, the deal is this: we meet Glady. She is basically an aimless floater in life and has worked more jobs than a 10 dollar hooker. She does what everyone does when they are super successful - moves in with her grandma.
Glady's grandma is a matchmaker. I didn't know this was the 1800's, but apparently, grandma is older than I thought. Or, matchmaking is still a thing. Or, this is fiction. I'm going to go with old grandma. No! Time traveling grandma! Yeah, I like that one.
Glady is training to do matchmaking herself, so she needs to build a good reputation in town. Unfortunately, her big outing in the town ends up with her climbing a telephone pole to rescue a plastic owl with a bunch of stoners and a fireman having to rescue her and her flashing her underwear to everyone. They now refer to her as "underwear girl". It's been good for police morale.
“Well, I’m sorry I wasn’t up there longer to give everyone a better view.”
(Police Chief): “Don’t worry about it. They all took photos with their cellphones,” he said.
The Police Chief has nicknamed her Pinky (underwear color), and is too hot for his own good. He's also a major man-whore.
Spencer Bolton had a well-known scorched-earth policy when it came to women. He was pure poison to anyone in a dress. He was the Al Qaeda of penises, and I was determined to never see him naked.
But, don't worry. She tortures him in every way possible. Not only is she amateur detectiving over who may or may not have killed her neighbor, but she is doing a better job than his cops. She also might have stolen his car at one point.
He got snippy with her over that:
“I don’t care for your tone,” I said.
“My tone? How about my gun? You like my gun?” He pulled back his jacket to show me his sidearm.
“Big bad policeman.” I pulled out the Mace.
“Is that my Mace?” Veins popped out on his neck, and his nostrils flared.
“Maybe.”
“You stole my car and my Mace?”
“I borrowed them. Don’t be so dramatic. I would have taken the shotgun, but it was locked.”
Also keeping man-whore on his toes is the fact that Glady has a new, hot neighbor who is definitely interested.
Holden’s mouth turned up into a smile. He was really handsome, like an advertisement for fresh air, muscles, and sex appeal.
Yeah, we need more advertisements for those things.
So, it's a little triangley. The police chief shows interest, but they don't actually go out on a date or anything. It is more like an attraction going on. The neighbor, on the other hand, is interested for sure and wants to date Glady if she could ever stop being the target for every lunatic or killer around.
This book was a lot of fun and I'm excited that Overdrive has more of the series.
December 7, 2017
Find all of my reviews at: http://52bookminimum.blogspot.com/
My friend Jilly gets the credit (blame???) for this one after posting a review for Matchpoint, the second in this series, that she had picked up in order to “decompress” from some stabbier selections. I thought that sounded like a good idea and it became an instantly better idea when I found out this first one was available on the ol’ Kindle for free. That is perfect for me because . . . .
Then I took a gander at her review for An Affair To Dismember and saw a comparison was made to the Stephanie Plum books, which is the equivalent for me to this . . . .
Jilly wasn’t lying. From a quirky grandma to a “love triangle” (term used EXTREMELY loosely since it is not the dark ages and women are allowed to date more than one man at a time until they D.T.R.), this truly does fall into the “if you like Stephanie, you’ll probably like Gladie” category.
Much like Stephanie, poor Gladie is just trying to make a dollah outta fiteen cent. She sucks at jobs, though, so she’s ended up back at her Grandma’s house in order to learn the family business of matchmaking. (I know, I know, you’re just gonna have to kind of go with it and create some alternate reality in your head that makes this a viable career – like the entire town is in a black hole with no WiFi so they don’t have access to Tinder or match.com.) When the neighbor dies, Gladie doesn’t think much of it – until she goes and pays her respects on the family and gets a little more info . . . .
“I don’t think Randy Terns slipped and hit his head on the table. I think he was murdered. I think someone hit him over the head.”
After that it’s on like bing bong asStephanie I mean Gladie becomes an amateur supersleuth while finding herself in various over-the-top predicaments . . . .
Where she keeps running into the local police chief . . . .
And also her Grandma’s new neighbor, who may or may not be the guy who shot Bin Laden . . . .
If you’re looking for something that’s light and funny and could easily be turned into a Hallmark Mystery Channel movie-of-the-week to veg out on while still in your PJs at 3:00 on a Saturday afternoon and while eating your weight in chocolate-drizzled kettlecorn (not that I know anyone who would do something like that), this might be a winner. (Don’t let the 3 Stars fool ya – 3 Stars is about as high as I go when it comes to these types of books. I really did have fun reading it.) Get it for free RIGHT HERE.
My friend Jilly gets the credit (blame???) for this one after posting a review for Matchpoint, the second in this series, that she had picked up in order to “decompress” from some stabbier selections. I thought that sounded like a good idea and it became an instantly better idea when I found out this first one was available on the ol’ Kindle for free. That is perfect for me because . . . .
Then I took a gander at her review for An Affair To Dismember and saw a comparison was made to the Stephanie Plum books, which is the equivalent for me to this . . . .
Jilly wasn’t lying. From a quirky grandma to a “love triangle” (term used EXTREMELY loosely since it is not the dark ages and women are allowed to date more than one man at a time until they D.T.R.), this truly does fall into the “if you like Stephanie, you’ll probably like Gladie” category.
Much like Stephanie, poor Gladie is just trying to make a dollah outta fiteen cent. She sucks at jobs, though, so she’s ended up back at her Grandma’s house in order to learn the family business of matchmaking. (I know, I know, you’re just gonna have to kind of go with it and create some alternate reality in your head that makes this a viable career – like the entire town is in a black hole with no WiFi so they don’t have access to Tinder or match.com.) When the neighbor dies, Gladie doesn’t think much of it – until she goes and pays her respects on the family and gets a little more info . . . .
“I don’t think Randy Terns slipped and hit his head on the table. I think he was murdered. I think someone hit him over the head.”
After that it’s on like bing bong as
Where she keeps running into the local police chief . . . .
And also her Grandma’s new neighbor, who may or may not be the guy who shot Bin Laden . . . .
If you’re looking for something that’s light and funny and could easily be turned into a Hallmark Mystery Channel movie-of-the-week to veg out on while still in your PJs at 3:00 on a Saturday afternoon and while eating your weight in chocolate-drizzled kettlecorn (not that I know anyone who would do something like that), this might be a winner. (Don’t let the 3 Stars fool ya – 3 Stars is about as high as I go when it comes to these types of books. I really did have fun reading it.) Get it for free RIGHT HERE.
November 29, 2017
Pretty good book. A mystery romance.
Gladie is trying to follow in her grandmother’s footsteps and become a matchmaker. But, it’s hard to concentrate on love when people keep dying.
Gladie is trying to follow in her grandmother’s footsteps and become a matchmaker. But, it’s hard to concentrate on love when people keep dying.
March 18, 2013
~ ~ I received this book via a Goodreads giveaway.
Sigh, I probably should have DNf'ed it, instead I plowed through. This is a really good example of an author trying too hard and editors letting things go that they shouldn't have. The author focused so much on creating slapstick scenes and zaney characters that she forgot to have the story make sense. Examples - where did everyone get their money from? Randy had no money from heists, was jailed for large chunks of his life, but lived in a mansion and gave away thousands to others who were blackmailing him. Grandma was practically agoraphobic yet made enough money matchmaking to buy a sprawling victorian house...? Really? Peter drove a Porsche but admitted he also had no money. Why does this small town have a $850k glass cell but no 911? Are there towns that close to San Diego without 911? How could the Terns' harass Lulu via phone, day and night when she lived in a shack in the woods and had no phone? I could go on but I won't. Nearly every five pages I was rolling my eyes.
Sorry. Things have to make sense even if you're trying to be funny. I blame the editors of this one. Leaving in these impossible things distracts the readers. I ended up really disliking the story because of it.
Sigh, I probably should have DNf'ed it, instead I plowed through. This is a really good example of an author trying too hard and editors letting things go that they shouldn't have. The author focused so much on creating slapstick scenes and zaney characters that she forgot to have the story make sense. Examples - where did everyone get their money from? Randy had no money from heists, was jailed for large chunks of his life, but lived in a mansion and gave away thousands to others who were blackmailing him. Grandma was practically agoraphobic yet made enough money matchmaking to buy a sprawling victorian house...? Really? Peter drove a Porsche but admitted he also had no money. Why does this small town have a $850k glass cell but no 911? Are there towns that close to San Diego without 911? How could the Terns' harass Lulu via phone, day and night when she lived in a shack in the woods and had no phone? I could go on but I won't. Nearly every five pages I was rolling my eyes.
Sorry. Things have to make sense even if you're trying to be funny. I blame the editors of this one. Leaving in these impossible things distracts the readers. I ended up really disliking the story because of it.
June 22, 2020
Perhaps this book (and the one previous) will cure me of the undeniable temptation to buy Kindle books for 99 cents apiece. I will take the problems in order:
1. The story didn't make any sense. People have died, but no one but Gladie thinks that's a problem that needs examining further. Gladie's grandma is a successful matchmaker with a big house, which she is too agoraphobic to leave—so how has she built this success? Everyone has money, but no one has a source of money. The bank was robbed, but the bank robbers don't have the money. The blackmailers get money, but they aren't who you think they are, and where does the money come from, since the people they are blackmailing have no money? The police department has a multi-million-dollar new building (and a state-of-the-art glass cell box), but fewer than 20 officers and no 911. The protagonist is supposed to be learning to be a matchmaker (in California in 2013? C'mon) but spends so much time indulging in her own love life that she doesn't have the time.
2. There is amusing or laugh-out-loud funny, and then there is ridiculous and stupid. The majority of the characters, particularly the protagonist, fell into the latter category. They made decisions for no reason except they wanted to, and the likelihood of things turning out well when everyone is positively self-indulgent about every random impulse is nil; yet the author makes it all turn out right, which is laughable (but not in a good way). The heroine was particularly manic, and the plot was flimsy and disjointed.
3. I try not to be too much of a raging feminist in my reviews, because I don't like being accused of being utterly humorless, but honestly: Sexual harassment, undermining, big-strong-man-as-rescuer syndrome, fat-shaming, the list goes on. Not funny either. And no, don't tell me that stuff is what is expected in a "cozy." It is possible to write a good cozy without pandering.
1. The story didn't make any sense. People have died, but no one but Gladie thinks that's a problem that needs examining further. Gladie's grandma is a successful matchmaker with a big house, which she is too agoraphobic to leave—so how has she built this success? Everyone has money, but no one has a source of money. The bank was robbed, but the bank robbers don't have the money. The blackmailers get money, but they aren't who you think they are, and where does the money come from, since the people they are blackmailing have no money? The police department has a multi-million-dollar new building (and a state-of-the-art glass cell box), but fewer than 20 officers and no 911. The protagonist is supposed to be learning to be a matchmaker (in California in 2013? C'mon) but spends so much time indulging in her own love life that she doesn't have the time.
2. There is amusing or laugh-out-loud funny, and then there is ridiculous and stupid. The majority of the characters, particularly the protagonist, fell into the latter category. They made decisions for no reason except they wanted to, and the likelihood of things turning out well when everyone is positively self-indulgent about every random impulse is nil; yet the author makes it all turn out right, which is laughable (but not in a good way). The heroine was particularly manic, and the plot was flimsy and disjointed.
3. I try not to be too much of a raging feminist in my reviews, because I don't like being accused of being utterly humorless, but honestly: Sexual harassment, undermining, big-strong-man-as-rescuer syndrome, fat-shaming, the list goes on. Not funny either. And no, don't tell me that stuff is what is expected in a "cozy." It is possible to write a good cozy without pandering.
September 8, 2021
A good 3.5 rounded up for a book that gave me some laughs I really needed; I guess you could call it romantic suspense with lots of physical comedy and plenty of erotic heat that keeps you at will they won't they in close quarters with two (2) impossibly hunky males, who needless to say don't get along that well with each other. Not "reverse harem" candidates by any means.
The suspense or mystery portion is mainly supplied by the highly dysfunctional Terns family across the street--papa, mama, and five (5) grown offspring, all of whom act like candidates for the therapist's couch. Papa dies, ruled natural causes by the coroner, but we just know he was murdered (most likely by one of his own). More than one of the Terns agrees, and their behavior problems create much of the mystery. The ending wasn't too easy for me to predict.
The first-person narrator is Gladys "Gladie" Burger, who never finished high school, lived in various places around the country, never held a job for more than three months or so, and wound up moving to the little California mountain town where her grandmother Zelda makes her living as a matchmaker. Right. A town of 4000 can support a matchmaker even with all those newfangled websites people can hook up on. There is some reality slippage here and elsewhere in the novel that held the rating down, because otherwise it is awfully entertaining.
So Grandma Zelda recruits Gladie to become a matchmaker apprentice, with comic results. Gladie's disregard for annoying things like laws brings her up against (very much up against) the "gorgeous" chief of police Spencer Burton, who takes quite an interest in her while enforcing one law after another and failing completely to keep her from investigating Papa Terns's murder. Well, it's a small town and he doesn't really report to anybody, so no worries about unprofessional conduct, right?
And then Zelda's new neighbor, the impossibly gorgeous and often bare-chested Holden, shows major interest in Gladie...but whenever he's asked "what do you do for a living?" he always answers "This and that" and changes the subject. How many romance tropes have we gone through already? Well, one of the Terns boys is aggressive and obnoxious toward Gladie, and Holden winds up saving her out on a deserted mountain road, and with all the high libido on both their parts, I'm a little confused that it never goes past canoodling. Spencer at least shares her bed, but kisses come later. Romance fans might just find this story frustrating, right along with Gladie, Spencer, and Holden.
Bridget (no-nonsense) and Lucy (Southern belle)
Generally enjoyable despite those awful chapter headings quoting Grandma Zelda's written lessons in matchmaking.
The suspense or mystery portion is mainly supplied by the highly dysfunctional Terns family across the street--papa, mama, and five (5) grown offspring, all of whom act like candidates for the therapist's couch. Papa dies, ruled natural causes by the coroner, but we just know he was murdered (most likely by one of his own). More than one of the Terns agrees, and their behavior problems create much of the mystery. The ending wasn't too easy for me to predict.
The first-person narrator is Gladys "Gladie" Burger, who never finished high school, lived in various places around the country, never held a job for more than three months or so, and wound up moving to the little California mountain town where her grandmother Zelda makes her living as a matchmaker. Right. A town of 4000 can support a matchmaker even with all those newfangled websites people can hook up on. There is some reality slippage here and elsewhere in the novel that held the rating down, because otherwise it is awfully entertaining.
So Grandma Zelda recruits Gladie to become a matchmaker apprentice, with comic results. Gladie's disregard for annoying things like laws brings her up against (very much up against) the "gorgeous" chief of police Spencer Burton, who takes quite an interest in her while enforcing one law after another and failing completely to keep her from investigating Papa Terns's murder. Well, it's a small town and he doesn't really report to anybody, so no worries about unprofessional conduct, right?
And then Zelda's new neighbor, the impossibly gorgeous and often bare-chested Holden, shows major interest in Gladie...but whenever he's asked "what do you do for a living?" he always answers "This and that" and changes the subject. How many romance tropes have we gone through already? Well, one of the Terns boys is aggressive and obnoxious toward Gladie, and Holden winds up saving her out on a deserted mountain road, and with all the high libido on both their parts, I'm a little confused that it never goes past canoodling. Spencer at least shares her bed, but kisses come later. Romance fans might just find this story frustrating, right along with Gladie, Spencer, and Holden.
Bridget (no-nonsense) and Lucy (Southern belle)
had been friends for years, and we became a tight circle when I moved to town. Lucy was a marketer, Bridget was an accountant, and I was pretty much nothing. I was treated like I was heir to a great business...You mean the matchmaking business, Gladie? Anyway, this threesome provides most of the conversation as Gladie's adventure with the Terns, Spencer, and Holden marches along.
Generally enjoyable despite those awful chapter headings quoting Grandma Zelda's written lessons in matchmaking.
March 27, 2019
I noped out of this HARD.
First, there was an incident where a bunch of rescue workers (police, firefighters, maybe EMTs, I don't remember) have to rescue the MC from a telephone pole, and are leering and being skeevy about seeing her underwear WHILE SHE'S DANGLING FROM A TELEPHONE POLE WHAT THE FUCK, but I let that slide, only to run smack into this:
Literally, what? And literally, why?
First, there was an incident where a bunch of rescue workers (police, firefighters, maybe EMTs, I don't remember) have to rescue the MC from a telephone pole, and are leering and being skeevy about seeing her underwear WHILE SHE'S DANGLING FROM A TELEPHONE POLE WHAT THE FUCK, but I let that slide, only to run smack into this:
Literally, what? And literally, why?
July 17, 2014
2.5 stars
You wouldn’t think it, but matchmaking is hard. Anyone who tells you otherwise is lying, as Gladie can attest to. After a series of unsuccessful jobs, Gladie returns home to take over her grandmother, Zelda’s, matchmaking business. Unfortunately all she has to guide her are records circa 10 B.C.(before Computers) and her grandma’s explanation that you just “feel” it. It’s a gift! One Gladie thinks might have just skipped her generation, because all she feels is her grandmother’s junk food conspiring against her.
And then her neighbor dies mysteriously and Gladie starts to think she might just have the “feel” after all. Just for murder, not love. And so she came to be involved in a very weird, very complex intrigue. And with two very complex, hot men, too, the urbane, womanizing police chief and the laid back, mysterious new neighbor. What’s a girl to do, really? Solve murders and kick butts, of course!
You know how there’s a line between funny and ridiculous, adorable and TSTL (Too Stupid To Live)? Unfortunately this book came at the wrong side of it way too often. The biggest problem being, of course, Gladie. I know all her actions were necessary to drive the plot, but it was just TOO MUCH. She ignored all advice, did whatever the hell she wanted, stole and tampered with evidence, went after suspects. And why? Well, just because she had a desire to! She just thought, hmm, this is fishy, let me just start nosing around. And, of course, if anyone tries to stop me or tell me it’s not my job, it’s dangerous and I’m not qualified, well they’re just chauvinistic behinds, right? And many, many side characters would respond RIGHT! You see, her behaviour is just dumb. And I hate saying it, I wanted to like the book! But, when a character makes you want to pull your hair out, you’ve got to say it. I saw absolutely no reason why two great men would be so drawn to her.
Another thing that bugged me VERY much was how uncannily similar this book was to Janet Evanovitch’s Stephanie Plum series. It wasn’t just the brand of humor-that would be fine, no it’s all the underlying stuff, that may not be so apparent at first. The klutzy, weight-conscious woman falling in all kinds of trouble and crime(Stephanie), while a disapproving cop tries to get her to stay out of it (Morelli) and a man with a mysterious job and an even more mysterious past helps her out(Ranger) and they’re both interested in her. We also have the unique grandma, nutty friends and weird criminals. Could be nothing, and yet it is, way too much so. Too similar, and yet not as successful in making it all seem necessary and likable and addicting.
Not to say it’s all bad. The mystery was interesting and there were some good/funny moments. And there was the Love Triangle reaction of “Who’s the one? Me intrigued”. Also, Zelda’s matchmaking cards were well done and very interesting. It was just not enough to overwhelm other things for me.
Overall a disappointment for me. I don’t think I’ll be continuing the series.
Full review now posted!
ARC courtesy of Ballantine Books via Edelweiss
You wouldn’t think it, but matchmaking is hard. Anyone who tells you otherwise is lying, as Gladie can attest to. After a series of unsuccessful jobs, Gladie returns home to take over her grandmother, Zelda’s, matchmaking business. Unfortunately all she has to guide her are records circa 10 B.C.(before Computers) and her grandma’s explanation that you just “feel” it. It’s a gift! One Gladie thinks might have just skipped her generation, because all she feels is her grandmother’s junk food conspiring against her.
And then her neighbor dies mysteriously and Gladie starts to think she might just have the “feel” after all. Just for murder, not love. And so she came to be involved in a very weird, very complex intrigue. And with two very complex, hot men, too, the urbane, womanizing police chief and the laid back, mysterious new neighbor. What’s a girl to do, really? Solve murders and kick butts, of course!
You know how there’s a line between funny and ridiculous, adorable and TSTL (Too Stupid To Live)? Unfortunately this book came at the wrong side of it way too often. The biggest problem being, of course, Gladie. I know all her actions were necessary to drive the plot, but it was just TOO MUCH. She ignored all advice, did whatever the hell she wanted, stole and tampered with evidence, went after suspects. And why? Well, just because she had a desire to! She just thought, hmm, this is fishy, let me just start nosing around. And, of course, if anyone tries to stop me or tell me it’s not my job, it’s dangerous and I’m not qualified, well they’re just chauvinistic behinds, right? And many, many side characters would respond RIGHT! You see, her behaviour is just dumb. And I hate saying it, I wanted to like the book! But, when a character makes you want to pull your hair out, you’ve got to say it. I saw absolutely no reason why two great men would be so drawn to her.
Another thing that bugged me VERY much was how uncannily similar this book was to Janet Evanovitch’s Stephanie Plum series. It wasn’t just the brand of humor-that would be fine, no it’s all the underlying stuff, that may not be so apparent at first. The klutzy, weight-conscious woman falling in all kinds of trouble and crime(Stephanie), while a disapproving cop tries to get her to stay out of it (Morelli) and a man with a mysterious job and an even more mysterious past helps her out(Ranger) and they’re both interested in her. We also have the unique grandma, nutty friends and weird criminals. Could be nothing, and yet it is, way too much so. Too similar, and yet not as successful in making it all seem necessary and likable and addicting.
Not to say it’s all bad. The mystery was interesting and there were some good/funny moments. And there was the Love Triangle reaction of “Who’s the one? Me intrigued”. Also, Zelda’s matchmaking cards were well done and very interesting. It was just not enough to overwhelm other things for me.
Overall a disappointment for me. I don’t think I’ll be continuing the series.
Full review now posted!
ARC courtesy of Ballantine Books via Edelweiss
September 8, 2018
2.5 stars
I read this for the Cozy Mystery square for Halloween Bingo
Something was definitely fishy about Randy Terns’s death, and at least one of his children thought he deserved to be murdered.
Cozy mystery isn't a genre I usually spend a lot of time in but I've dabbled and the ones I've dabbled in, tend to have a "cozy" calm, mysterious but relaxing feel to them, not so here.
The only time the heroine isn't on the go or jumping here and there, is when she is asleep, which doesn't last long. She's in town to take over her grandmother's matchmaking business but doesn't quite have the touch but doesn't matter since she only focuses on that for about 3% of the story. One of her neighbors was found dead in the kitchen and she thinks (?? I guess but she never seems totally sure even though she is running around trying to solve the "murder") he was murdered.
What follows is a story that felt incredibly manic and held together with rubber bands and flimsy plot threads. Why does such a small town, I don't think they even have a 20 person police force (they don't have their own 911 call center) have a multi-million dollar new station? This is the first in the series but like my complaints about Angelfalls, you still have to craft story that provides depth in regards to characters and plot in book one.
There is a love triangle but with one guy that barely is a pencil sketch and the heroine only seems to like because he is hot and the other that seems like the clear future winner. I'm not quite sure what the heroine saw in the pencil sketch (besides good looks) and I'm not sure what either guy saw in the heroine. The murder mystery was convoluted as all get out and had a reveal dump at the end.
This was so manic and jumbled I felt like I was lost in a bouncy castle. I don't think I'll be continuing on in the series, especially since I am not a fan of love triangles, they always seem to be dragged out way to long.
Bonus point for having Rottweilers in the story but point deduction for having them be growling frightening beasts.
I read this for the Cozy Mystery square for Halloween Bingo
Something was definitely fishy about Randy Terns’s death, and at least one of his children thought he deserved to be murdered.
Cozy mystery isn't a genre I usually spend a lot of time in but I've dabbled and the ones I've dabbled in, tend to have a "cozy" calm, mysterious but relaxing feel to them, not so here.
The only time the heroine isn't on the go or jumping here and there, is when she is asleep, which doesn't last long. She's in town to take over her grandmother's matchmaking business but doesn't quite have the touch but doesn't matter since she only focuses on that for about 3% of the story. One of her neighbors was found dead in the kitchen and she thinks (?? I guess but she never seems totally sure even though she is running around trying to solve the "murder") he was murdered.
What follows is a story that felt incredibly manic and held together with rubber bands and flimsy plot threads. Why does such a small town, I don't think they even have a 20 person police force (they don't have their own 911 call center) have a multi-million dollar new station? This is the first in the series but like my complaints about Angelfalls, you still have to craft story that provides depth in regards to characters and plot in book one.
There is a love triangle but with one guy that barely is a pencil sketch and the heroine only seems to like because he is hot and the other that seems like the clear future winner. I'm not quite sure what the heroine saw in the pencil sketch (besides good looks) and I'm not sure what either guy saw in the heroine. The murder mystery was convoluted as all get out and had a reveal dump at the end.
This was so manic and jumbled I felt like I was lost in a bouncy castle. I don't think I'll be continuing on in the series, especially since I am not a fan of love triangles, they always seem to be dragged out way to long.
Bonus point for having Rottweilers in the story but point deduction for having them be growling frightening beasts.
September 10, 2017
What a stupid, bumbling, boring book. Awful. It was so poorly written.
November 4, 2022
Life is not a romance novel. The mysterious, perfect man without a shirt doesn’t live next door. The local cop isn’t a grumpy, godlike creature who wants to bed you until you forget who you are. And a British mercenary is not going to kidnap you and stuff you in a burlap bag only to make you fall in love with him later. These scenarios are romance novels, those books you read while eating a pound of peanut M& Ms on the beach in summertime. Life is more complicated than a romance novel.
But you know what? I love to read such novels! [from time to time] And this one was exactly like that.
It was a skorts, goatee, shoulder pads, Bay of Pigs kind of mistake.
It was hilariously funny and enormously pleasurable.
But, you can't take it seriously. If you start to do it, you will find holes in the story (e.g. how can you live from matchmaking in such a small town? A good Uncle Harry? Really? And some Gladie's behaviours - too stupid.) I was concentrated on the chemistry between the main characters and comical happenings. The mystery was just the tool for me. So, I even forgive the cliffhanger (of Gladie's love life). I hate it when a book ends with a cliffhanger but in this case, I have such a good time that it doesn't matter. I can imagine what I want to ;-)
By the way, I have found here a few wise advice.
Really, happiness was truly easy to acquire if you’re honest with yourself.
Everyone needs a foundation. Roots to hold them firm to the ground.
December 30, 2013
"He was the Al Qaeda of penises, and I was determined to never see him naked."
I took a chance on this even though I'd not heard of the author, and it wasn't goodreads-friend-approved. I'm so glad I did.
It was such a hilarious, fun, good time read. Gladie was a fantastic heroine, and the other characters were great. Seriously, Spencer, Lucy, Grandma, Bird... I can't even pick a favorite.
I definitely recommend you give this one a read!
December 13, 2018
Freaking hilarious!
I loved reading this book! The eccentric characters and fun plot filled with mystery is perfect! A definite just read that I caught on Kindle for free! Awesome Sauce!💖
I loved reading this book! The eccentric characters and fun plot filled with mystery is perfect! A definite just read that I caught on Kindle for free! Awesome Sauce!💖
July 20, 2020
Well this was an interesting read. It seemed like the romance was the main focus and the mystery came second but Gladie is so funny it's worth it. I liked the love triangle and it'll be interesting to see who she chooses out of the two guys. I can't decide which one i like more either. I also liked her grandma she seems like a character too.
September 4, 2020
A relatively cozy mystery set in a small California town with the requisite eccentric characters, most of all the heroine's grandmother. Zelda is a matchmaker with slight mystic properties that give her hints of danger. She never leaves her property. She recruits her grandaughter Goldie to take over the family matchmaking business, but instead Goldie is more successful at solving mysteries.
October 2, 2013
This review was posted at Tsuki’s Book Blog on October 2, 2013.
When I picked this up I thought it had potential (and it probably did). I read the blurb and immediately froze. It compared it to Janet Evanovich and Jennifer Crusie. The thing is I don't like either of those authors but I held out hope. This was the second or third book I ever requested from NetGalley so I've been trying to read it for months. On try number three I finally figured enough was enough. It just wasn't going to happen.
I have this issue with books trying to be funny. I tend to find when someone really tries to be funny, they aren't. In this case I didn't find this book funny at all. Immediately 'hilarity' ensued as Gladie was introduced to me. She wore sweats, felt lost, knew obscure facts about birds, and had a moment of underwear showing when she tried to rescue a bird. Unfortunately I didn't feel the hilarity and I didn't care for the quirks.
To me it seemed like the author was trying to endear Gladie by making her funny. She wasn't to me and I couldn't get behind the upcoming love triangle since I didn't like the main character. Now I didn't read more than about 75 pages but I just knew it wasn't working for me. I didn't like Gladie. I didn't like the Grandmother. I didn't like the love interest (cop). I didn't like the style of writing.
Basically this book was a hot mess of turn-offs for me. I'm sure so many people would love this book if they love Janet Evanovich and Jennifer Crusie. I'm not a fan of either so naturally it didn't work for me. Don't let that stop you guys though.
DNF
Published by Ballantine Books
January 1, 2013
320 Pages
Provided by--NetGalley
When I picked this up I thought it had potential (and it probably did). I read the blurb and immediately froze. It compared it to Janet Evanovich and Jennifer Crusie. The thing is I don't like either of those authors but I held out hope. This was the second or third book I ever requested from NetGalley so I've been trying to read it for months. On try number three I finally figured enough was enough. It just wasn't going to happen.
I have this issue with books trying to be funny. I tend to find when someone really tries to be funny, they aren't. In this case I didn't find this book funny at all. Immediately 'hilarity' ensued as Gladie was introduced to me. She wore sweats, felt lost, knew obscure facts about birds, and had a moment of underwear showing when she tried to rescue a bird. Unfortunately I didn't feel the hilarity and I didn't care for the quirks.
To me it seemed like the author was trying to endear Gladie by making her funny. She wasn't to me and I couldn't get behind the upcoming love triangle since I didn't like the main character. Now I didn't read more than about 75 pages but I just knew it wasn't working for me. I didn't like Gladie. I didn't like the Grandmother. I didn't like the love interest (cop). I didn't like the style of writing.
Basically this book was a hot mess of turn-offs for me. I'm sure so many people would love this book if they love Janet Evanovich and Jennifer Crusie. I'm not a fan of either so naturally it didn't work for me. Don't let that stop you guys though.
DNF
Published by Ballantine Books
January 1, 2013
320 Pages
Provided by--NetGalley
November 18, 2012
ARC Thanks to Random House and NetGalley. Review to come!
4.5 Stars!
One of the funniest books I have read in so long. I literally laughed out loud every couple of pages. Gladie is a great MC reminiscent to me of Bridget Jones, Sophie Katz or even Becky Bloomwood. Quirky, witty, clever and just downright hilarious Gladie had me on my toes waiting for what was to come next.
This book had humor, mystery and romance and although I couldn't wait to read the end so I could finally find out "who done it?" I was sad that it ended when it did. This is a cliffhanger sure to make me reach for the next book as soon as it is available!
I like the idea of a series where I really don't know what to expect other than hilarity of course. Like a season of my favorite television series I am on the edge of my seat wondering who she'll choose or who I actually want her to choose? Of course there is always the possibility that it will be neither and that is what has me saying "next book please".
I highly recommend this book for those out there who enjoy "chick lit". If you want a heavy duty romance this is not it although there is some fabulous sexual tension and a somewhat subtle love triangle. This book is great for laughs, a real "feel good" read and a definite new favorite of mine!
4.5 Stars!
One of the funniest books I have read in so long. I literally laughed out loud every couple of pages. Gladie is a great MC reminiscent to me of Bridget Jones, Sophie Katz or even Becky Bloomwood. Quirky, witty, clever and just downright hilarious Gladie had me on my toes waiting for what was to come next.
This book had humor, mystery and romance and although I couldn't wait to read the end so I could finally find out "who done it?" I was sad that it ended when it did. This is a cliffhanger sure to make me reach for the next book as soon as it is available!
I like the idea of a series where I really don't know what to expect other than hilarity of course. Like a season of my favorite television series I am on the edge of my seat wondering who she'll choose or who I actually want her to choose? Of course there is always the possibility that it will be neither and that is what has me saying "next book please".
I highly recommend this book for those out there who enjoy "chick lit". If you want a heavy duty romance this is not it although there is some fabulous sexual tension and a somewhat subtle love triangle. This book is great for laughs, a real "feel good" read and a definite new favorite of mine!
November 3, 2015
Not for me. It sounds like it would be funny but I'm not really into humiliation humor, the kind where the hero or heroine gets into embarrassing situations and everybody stares. There's a whole movie genre of that and I watch as few of those as I can. But probably others will like it just fine. Can't finish it.
May 28, 2017
Early on the main character needs to be rescued from a telephone pole. Her underwear becomes visible. The police rescuing her take pictures first, call her Underwear Girl. They hang these pictures in the precinct to "cheer up perps." Throughout the story numerous policemen refer to her as such. No one finds this off-putting, gross, or, you know, horribly illegal and invasive. Nope.
July 5, 2017
This is in the same vein as Stephanie Plum and with what will probably be a long lasting love triangle as well.
Gladie doesn't stick with anything, but her grandmother wants her to learn the matchmaking business. Gladie ends up mixed up with the crazy neighborhood family when the father dies and the brand new handsome neighbor as well as the playboy chief of police.
Rules don't apply to Gladie (she even steals a police car) and I hate love triangles, but this was still a fun read.
Gladie doesn't stick with anything, but her grandmother wants her to learn the matchmaking business. Gladie ends up mixed up with the crazy neighborhood family when the father dies and the brand new handsome neighbor as well as the playboy chief of police.
Rules don't apply to Gladie (she even steals a police car) and I hate love triangles, but this was still a fun read.
March 19, 2019
I love light, frothy and funny, what can I say?
January 15, 2013
Reviewed by: Marissa
Book provided by: Edelweiss
Review originally posted at Romancing the Book
This was a most amazing and amusing book and I decided I had to share it with everyone. I love getting in on the beginning of a new series, especially one that has all the elements I love: mystery and romance with a little bit of humor thrown in. Reading this one gave me a nice case of the warm fuzzies and I’m hoping to pass them along…
Gladie is a character made just for me. She’s in her late twenties but has no direction in her life (neither did I at that age). Since most romance novels tend to feature their female leads as strong and career-oriented (lawyers, chefs, doctors – all those jobs that take training and career planning), I’ve always had a hard time identifying with them. Now I’m given a woman with no long-term goals, where three weeks in one job is deemed a lifetime, and who faints at the sight of blood. She’s moved into her grandmother’s house and is training to take over the matchmaking business and before long has two handsome men interested in her well-being. Let’s not forget the way her eyes dilate when she sees Spencer, the hot new police chief in town, and Holden, the handsome new next-door neighbor with the mysterious background (and what great names are those, huh?). Hubba, hubba.
Within the space of one week, Gladie is stuck on a telephone pole, kidnapped, threatened, steals a police car, finds a dead body, gets shot at, and gets kissed by the dreamy neighbor. Like I said, I love getting in on a new series – and this one promises to be a doozy!
Book provided by: Edelweiss
Review originally posted at Romancing the Book
This was a most amazing and amusing book and I decided I had to share it with everyone. I love getting in on the beginning of a new series, especially one that has all the elements I love: mystery and romance with a little bit of humor thrown in. Reading this one gave me a nice case of the warm fuzzies and I’m hoping to pass them along…
Gladie is a character made just for me. She’s in her late twenties but has no direction in her life (neither did I at that age). Since most romance novels tend to feature their female leads as strong and career-oriented (lawyers, chefs, doctors – all those jobs that take training and career planning), I’ve always had a hard time identifying with them. Now I’m given a woman with no long-term goals, where three weeks in one job is deemed a lifetime, and who faints at the sight of blood. She’s moved into her grandmother’s house and is training to take over the matchmaking business and before long has two handsome men interested in her well-being. Let’s not forget the way her eyes dilate when she sees Spencer, the hot new police chief in town, and Holden, the handsome new next-door neighbor with the mysterious background (and what great names are those, huh?). Hubba, hubba.
Within the space of one week, Gladie is stuck on a telephone pole, kidnapped, threatened, steals a police car, finds a dead body, gets shot at, and gets kissed by the dreamy neighbor. Like I said, I love getting in on a new series – and this one promises to be a doozy!
March 8, 2013
I'm not sure about this book - it was a mash up of sorts. The writing felt disjointed and the story not very tightly woven at all. The whole matchmaking-third-eye premise of getting Gladie back home is never really explained very well - is this gift supposed to be of a psychic sort? There are hints it might be, but then well, it's never explained. The murder mystery itself was all over the place - it's repeated again and again that the first two deaths are natural causes - so why is the police chief constantly around looking into things? Not really explained very well either. The plot has what it takes to be really interesting - and in honesty, I got very engrossed in the story, but the writing was so almost stream-of-consciousness that I really just felt the chaos.
Still, the characters are all really likeable and interesting - there's not mixing them up in your head because you can't tell them apart. Each is colourful and interesting in their own way. The men are of course, hot hot hot, though I'm firmly in the police chief's corner for some reason. I'm going to read the next book in the series because I want to find the story lines tighter and I'm hoping for a more cohesive book all around - Ms. Sax could have a winner of a series on her hands if she just pulls it all together better.
Still, the characters are all really likeable and interesting - there's not mixing them up in your head because you can't tell them apart. Each is colourful and interesting in their own way. The men are of course, hot hot hot, though I'm firmly in the police chief's corner for some reason. I'm going to read the next book in the series because I want to find the story lines tighter and I'm hoping for a more cohesive book all around - Ms. Sax could have a winner of a series on her hands if she just pulls it all together better.
January 16, 2018
4.5★♥
Stephanie Plum in Southern California (haven't read the Plum books but saw the movie). The mystery seemed more a back-story. And what was to take place in just a matter of a week seemed a lot longer. More like a month with chaos and trouble happening everywhere Gladie turned.
I liked the interaction between Gladie and Spencer. The "mysterious" Holden hasn't impressed me.
Spoiler And even if this took place in under a week, it seemed weird that the two guys were there at the hospital room with her, both glaring at each other.End Spoiler.
This is a good quick read though. I just hope Gladie doesn't string the two guys along throughout the series like the Plum book. I really hope she's made her choice in which guy she likes more in the second book. In my opinion, I think it's Spencer.
Stephanie Plum in Southern California (haven't read the Plum books but saw the movie). The mystery seemed more a back-story. And what was to take place in just a matter of a week seemed a lot longer. More like a month with chaos and trouble happening everywhere Gladie turned.
I liked the interaction between Gladie and Spencer. The "mysterious" Holden hasn't impressed me.
Spoiler And even if this took place in under a week, it seemed weird that the two guys were there at the hospital room with her, both glaring at each other.End Spoiler.
This is a good quick read though. I just hope Gladie doesn't string the two guys along throughout the series like the Plum book. I really hope she's made her choice in which guy she likes more in the second book. In my opinion, I think it's Spencer.
February 22, 2017
I found this mystery/matchmaking story to be totally unique. It was silly, sexy men all the time, and granny (like me) loves to eat out at fast food joints, all the time!!!!! You never knew from one moment to the next who the murderer was. It was really funny when you find out.
There is a sick-o family across the street that the granddaughter gets involved with after the dad had an "accident" and had his head bashed in. The family insisted he was murdered even though the cops said it was an accident. The whole book is how they keep bugging Glady non-stop, every time she turns around. When she is not with them, she is usually with the oh so hot police chief, Spencer. Then there is the hot new next door neighbor, Holden, who loves kissing her. This is a rip roaring good time. I surely loved reading this!
There is a sick-o family across the street that the granddaughter gets involved with after the dad had an "accident" and had his head bashed in. The family insisted he was murdered even though the cops said it was an accident. The whole book is how they keep bugging Glady non-stop, every time she turns around. When she is not with them, she is usually with the oh so hot police chief, Spencer. Then there is the hot new next door neighbor, Holden, who loves kissing her. This is a rip roaring good time. I surely loved reading this!
October 29, 2018
.
Lots of goofiness and quirky characters, similar to Stephanie Plum blunders…
2 Good looking guys that are oh-so-KISSABLE
* One is the Chief of Police
* The other one does 'this and that', former CIA
Very few injuries compared to the number of scrapes she gets herself into . . . even a mild concussion doesn't keep her down.
Although the heroine behaved mentally challenged, there were some humorous scenes that provide smiles, eye rolls, and/or laughter.
This book is basically clean, except for the unnecessary profanity. It is able to stand on its own, even though it is part of a series. There is a nice H.E.A. when this installment concludes.
I originally rated this as 3.50, but bumped it up to 4.00 simply because I enjoy humor tremendously...
Lots of goofiness and quirky characters, similar to Stephanie Plum blunders…
2 Good looking guys that are oh-so-KISSABLE
* One is the Chief of Police
* The other one does 'this and that', former CIA
Very few injuries compared to the number of scrapes she gets herself into . . . even a mild concussion doesn't keep her down.
Although the heroine behaved mentally challenged, there were some humorous scenes that provide smiles, eye rolls, and/or laughter.
This book is basically clean, except for the unnecessary profanity. It is able to stand on its own, even though it is part of a series. There is a nice H.E.A. when this installment concludes.
I originally rated this as 3.50, but bumped it up to 4.00 simply because I enjoy humor tremendously...
November 10, 2015
This book literally fell off a shelf as I was reaching for another and I'm so glad it did. The cover is really misleading- although matchmaker Gladie does have two very fine men interested in her, she does nothing more than kiss them. The humor is really good- as good as Evanovitch when she was first on her game with the Stephanie Plum books. In fact, in some ways I liked this better. The solution to the mystery isn't really a surprise by the end, but there is a lot of fun along the whole way. I looked at future covers and am a little bummed because I will read on and see embarrassing check outs/ purchases in my future.
November 15, 2013
This book is very similar to Janet Evanovich's Stephanie Plum series. You get a girl who gets herself into unlikely scenarios, a kooky grandmother, friends as her loyal sidekicks, and, of course, not one but two overly handsome charismatic men vying for her attention. It still amused me though and I can't wait to read the next one in the series. My favorite parts: the matchmaking advice from Grandma Zelda:-)
June 6, 2017
Holy hell. If life was really as chaotic as portrayed in this book, we would all be insane.
With waaaaaay too much going on, this whole book was a gong show. The characters didn't resonate with me at all (although there were enough of them) and not enough of the plots were resolved to even tempt me to think of trying the sequel.
With waaaaaay too much going on, this whole book was a gong show. The characters didn't resonate with me at all (although there were enough of them) and not enough of the plots were resolved to even tempt me to think of trying the sequel.
April 22, 2014
Oh yay! I love this type of story, funny and sexy with a mystery for the quirky heroine to solve. Bring on book 2!
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