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An Affair to Dismember

(Matchmaker Mystery #1)

3.76  ·  Rating details ·  5,053 ratings  ·  596 reviews
Certain to appeal to fans of Janet Evanovich, Jennifer Crusie, and Katie MacAlister, Elise Sax’s hilarious series debut introduces matchmaker-in-training Gladie Burger, who stumbles into a dangerous quagmire of murder and red-hot romance.

Three months has been Gladie Burger’s limit when it comes to staying in one place: She’s always been a temp agency kind of girl, ever re
Mass Market Paperback, 312 pages
Published January 29th 2013 by Ballantine Books
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Average rating 3.76  · 
Rating details
 ·  5,053 ratings  ·  596 reviews

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Start your review of An Affair to Dismember (The Matchmaker, #1)
Nov 17, 2017 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: mystery, romance, funny
I can tell you right now if you will like this book or not. Take this fun quiz:

True or False:

1. You like Stephanie Plum, think her crazy hijinx are hilarious, and want to eat doughnuts with her.

2. You will excuse a weak mystery for a bunch of funny moments that make you literally LOL - and you're okay with looking like a lunatic by laughing hysterically while reading.

3. A love triangle is fine if you know it's there going into it, and it's not that serious anyway. (No cheating)

4. Man whores can
Kelly (and the Book Boar)
Find all of my reviews at:

My friend Jilly gets the credit (blame???) for this one after posting a review for Matchpoint, the second in this series, that she had picked up in order to “decompress” from some stabbier selections. I thought that sounded like a good idea and it became an instantly better idea when I found out this first one was available on the ol’ Kindle for free. That is perfect for me because . . . .

Then I took a gander at her review for An
Nov 28, 2017 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Pretty good book. A mystery romance.
Gladie is trying to follow in her grandmother’s footsteps and become a matchmaker. But, it’s hard to concentrate on love when people keep dying.
Jenna Scribbles
Dec 25, 2012 rated it did not like it
Shelves: arc
~ ~ I received this book via a Goodreads giveaway.

Sigh, I probably should have DNf'ed it, instead I plowed through. This is a really good example of an author trying too hard and editors letting things go that they shouldn't have. The author focused so much on creating slapstick scenes and zaney characters that she forgot to have the story make sense. Examples - where did everyone get their money from? Randy had no money from heists, was jailed for large chunks of his life, but lived in a mansi
Jul 15, 2012 rated it liked it

3.5 stars


Gladie Burger has been a matchmaker-in-training for three months. Convinced that Gladie has the 'gift', her grandmother Zelda has brought Gladie into her business, Zelda's Matchmaking Services. But after three months and no matches, Gladie's not convinced. When one of her neigbours dies, Gladie stumbles into what looks like a case of murder.

With the dead man's strange family to contend with and hunting down his former colleagues, Gladie is pitched headfirst into an investigation w
Mimi Smith
2.5 stars

You wouldn’t think it, but matchmaking is hard. Anyone who tells you otherwise is lying, as Gladie can attest to. After a series of unsuccessful jobs, Gladie returns home to take over her grandmother, Zelda’s, matchmaking business. Unfortunately all she has to guide her are records circa 10 B.C.(before Computers) and her grandma’s explanation that you just “feel” it. It’s a gift! One Gladie thinks might have just skipped her generation, because all she feels is her grandmother’s junk fo
2.5 stars

I read this for the Cozy Mystery square for Halloween Bingo

Something was definitely fishy about Randy Terns’s death, and at least one of his children thought he deserved to be murdered.

Cozy mystery isn't a genre I usually spend a lot of time in but I've dabbled and the ones I've dabbled in, tend to have a "cozy" calm, mysterious but relaxing feel to them, not so here.

The only time the heroine isn't on the go or jumping here and there, is when she is asleep, which doesn't last lon
Jun 22, 2020 rated it it was ok
Shelves: mystery, chick-lit
Perhaps this book (and the one previous) will cure me of the undeniable temptation to buy Kindle books for 99 cents apiece. I will take the problems in order:

1. The story didn't make any sense. People have died, but no one but Gladie thinks that's a problem that needs examining further. Gladie's grandma is a successful matchmaker with a big house, which she is too agoraphobic to leave—so how has she built this success? Everyone has money, but no one has a source of money. The bank was robbed, bu
Mar 23, 2019 rated it did not like it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: dnf, read-in-2019
I noped out of this HARD.
First, there was an incident where a bunch of rescue workers (police, firefighters, maybe EMTs, I don't remember) have to rescue the MC from a telephone pole, and are leering and being skeevy about seeing her underwear WHILE SHE'S DANGLING FROM A TELEPHONE POLE WHAT THE FUCK, but I let that slide, only to run smack into this:

Literally, what? And literally, why?
Jun 04, 2017 rated it did not like it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: 2017
What a stupid, bumbling, boring book. Awful. It was so poorly written.
Life is not a romance novel. The mysterious, perfect man without a shirt doesn’t live next door. The local cop isn’t a grumpy, godlike creature who wants to bed you until you forget who you are. And a British mercenary is not going to kidnap you and stuff you in a burlap bag only to make you fall in love with him later. These scenarios are romance novels, those books you read while eating a pound of peanut M& Ms on the beach in summertime. Life is more complicated than a romance novel. But you k ...more
Dec 30, 2013 rated it really liked it

"He was the Al Qaeda of penises, and I was determined to never see him naked."

I took a chance on this even though I'd not heard of the author, and it wasn't goodreads-friend-approved. I'm so glad I did.

It was such a hilarious, fun, good time read. Gladie was a fantastic heroine, and the other characters were great. Seriously, Spencer, Lucy, Grandma, Bird... I can't even pick a favorite.

I definitely recommend you give this one a read!
☆Dani☆ ☆Touch My Spine Book Reviews☆
Freaking hilarious!

I loved reading this book! The eccentric characters and fun plot filled with mystery is perfect! A definite just read that I caught on Kindle for free! Awesome Sauce!💖
Mummy's Naughty Corner
Well this was an interesting read. It seemed like the romance was the main focus and the mystery came second but Gladie is so funny it's worth it. I liked the love triangle and it'll be interesting to see who she chooses out of the two guys. I can't decide which one i like more either. I also liked her grandma she seems like a character too. ...more
Sep 04, 2020 rated it liked it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: mystery
A relatively cozy mystery set in a small California town with the requisite eccentric characters, most of all the heroine's grandmother. Zelda is a matchmaker with slight mystic properties that give her hints of danger. She never leaves her property. She recruits her grandaughter Goldie to take over the family matchmaking business, but instead Goldie is more successful at solving mysteries. ...more
Ashley F
Oct 01, 2013 rated it did not like it
This review was posted at Tsuki’s Book Blog on October 2, 2013.

When I picked this up I thought it had potential (and it probably did). I read the blurb and immediately froze. It compared it to Janet Evanovich and Jennifer Crusie. The thing is I don't like either of those authors but I held out hope. This was the second or third book I ever requested from NetGalley so I've been trying to read it for months. On try number three I finally figured enough was enough. It just wasn't going to happen.

ARC Thanks to Random House and NetGalley. Review to come!

4.5 Stars!
One of the funniest books I have read in so long. I literally laughed out loud every couple of pages. Gladie is a great MC reminiscent to me of Bridget Jones, Sophie Katz or even Becky Bloomwood. Quirky, witty, clever and just downright hilarious Gladie had me on my toes waiting for what was to come next.

This book had humor, mystery and romance and although I couldn't wait to read the end so I could finally find out "who done
May 28, 2017 rated it did not like it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: novel
Early on the main character needs to be rescued from a telephone pole. Her underwear becomes visible. The police rescuing her take pictures first, call her Underwear Girl. They hang these pictures in the precinct to "cheer up perps." Throughout the story numerous policemen refer to her as such. No one finds this off-putting, gross, or, you know, horribly illegal and invasive. Nope. ...more
Diane ~Firefly~
This is in the same vein as Stephanie Plum and with what will probably be a long lasting love triangle as well.

Gladie doesn't stick with anything, but her grandmother wants her to learn the matchmaking business. Gladie ends up mixed up with the crazy neighborhood family when the father dies and the brand new handsome neighbor as well as the playboy chief of police.

Rules don't apply to Gladie (she even steals a police car) and I hate love triangles, but this was still a fun read.
● ᴢᴏᴇʏ ●
Nov 07, 2018 rated it it was amazing
I love light, frothy and funny, what can I say?
Romancing the Book
Jan 15, 2013 rated it it was amazing
Reviewed by: Marissa
Book provided by: Edelweiss
Review originally posted at Romancing the Book

This was a most amazing and amusing book and I decided I had to share it with everyone. I love getting in on the beginning of a new series, especially one that has all the elements I love: mystery and romance with a little bit of humor thrown in. Reading this one gave me a nice case of the warm fuzzies and I’m hoping to pass them along…

Gladie is a character made just for me. She’s in her late twenties bu
❂ Murder by Death
I'm not sure about this book - it was a mash up of sorts. The writing felt disjointed and the story not very tightly woven at all. The whole matchmaking-third-eye premise of getting Gladie back home is never really explained very well - is this gift supposed to be of a psychic sort? There are hints it might be, but then well, it's never explained. The murder mystery itself was all over the place - it's repeated again and again that the first two deaths are natural causes - so why is the police c ...more
Michelle (MichelleBookAddict)

Stephanie Plum in Southern California (haven't read the Plum books but saw the movie). The mystery seemed more a back-story. And what was to take place in just a matter of a week seemed a lot longer. More like a month with chaos and trouble happening everywhere Gladie turned.
I liked the interaction between Gladie and Spencer. The "mysterious" Holden hasn't impressed me.

Spoiler And even if this took place in under a week, it seemed weird that the two guys were there at the hospital room with
Connie Anderson
I found this mystery/matchmaking story to be totally unique. It was silly, sexy men all the time, and granny (like me) loves to eat out at fast food joints, all the time!!!!! You never knew from one moment to the next who the murderer was. It was really funny when you find out.

There is a sick-o family across the street that the granddaughter gets involved with after the dad had an "accident" and had his head bashed in. The family insisted he was murdered even though the cops said it was an accid
✨ Gramy ✨
Lots of goofiness and quirky characters, similar to Stephanie Plum blunders…

2 Good looking guys that are oh-so-KISSABLE
* One is the Chief of Police
* The other one does 'this and that', former CIA

Very few injuries compared to the number of scrapes she gets herself into . . . even a mild concussion doesn't keep her down.

Although the heroine behaved mentally challenged, there were some humorous scenes that provide smiles, eye rolls, and/or laughter.

This book is basically clean, except for the unne
Nov 10, 2015 rated it really liked it
This book literally fell off a shelf as I was reaching for another and I'm so glad it did. The cover is really misleading- although matchmaker Gladie does have two very fine men interested in her, she does nothing more than kiss them. The humor is really good- as good as Evanovitch when she was first on her game with the Stephanie Plum books. In fact, in some ways I liked this better. The solution to the mystery isn't really a surprise by the end, but there is a lot of fun along the whole way. I ...more
Nov 12, 2013 rated it really liked it
Shelves: 2013
This book is very similar to Janet Evanovich's Stephanie Plum series. You get a girl who gets herself into unlikely scenarios, a kooky grandmother, friends as her loyal sidekicks, and, of course, not one but two overly handsome charismatic men vying for her attention. It still amused me though and I can't wait to read the next one in the series. My favorite parts: the matchmaking advice from Grandma Zelda:-) ...more
Sep 21, 2015 rated it liked it
Shelves: e-book, library-book, dnf
Not for me. It sounds like it would be funny but I'm not really into humiliation humor, the kind where the hero or heroine gets into embarrassing situations and everybody stares. There's a whole movie genre of that and I watch as few of those as I can. But probably others will like it just fine. Can't finish it. ...more
Jun 06, 2017 rated it did not like it
Holy hell. If life was really as chaotic as portrayed in this book, we would all be insane.
With waaaaaay too much going on, this whole book was a gong show. The characters didn't resonate with me at all (although there were enough of them) and not enough of the plots were resolved to even tempt me to think of trying the sequel.
Serena Shay
Apr 17, 2014 rated it it was amazing
Oh yay! I love this type of story, funny and sexy with a mystery for the quirky heroine to solve. Bring on book 2!
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Elise Sax worked as a journalist for fifteen years, mostly in Paris, France. She took a detour from journalism and became a private investigator before trying her hand at writing fiction. She lives in Southern California with her two sons. An Affair to Dismember is her first novel.

Other books in the series

Matchmaker Mystery (1 - 10 of 11 books)
  • Matchpoint (The Matchmaker, #2)
  • Love Game (The Matchmaker, #3)
  • Field of Screams (Matchmaker Mysteries, #4)
  • From Fear to Eternity (Matchmaker Mysteries, #5)
  • West Side Gory (Matchmaker Mysteries, #6)
  • Scareplane (Matchmaker Mysteries, #7)
  • It Happened One Fright (Matchmaker Mysteries, #8)
  • The Big Kill (Matchmaker Mysteries, #9)
  • It's A Wonderful Knife (Matchmaker Mysteries, #10)
  • Ship of Ghouls (Matchmaker Mysteries, #11)

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