This was to be the inaugural book in the Tinseltrash Book Club, a sleazy cabal of ne’er do wells dedicated to the pursuit of arcane knowledge, namely who in old Hollywood was schtupping who, and how. At this point, the foundations of the club are looking shaky, but I was still happy to read the inaugural tome, an explicit, dishy, and decidedly good-natured romp through the sexual peccadillos of the rich and famous.
Scotty Bowers was a handsome young man. To hear him tell it, he’d been chased after sexually from a young age by all sorts of people – men, women, priests, people on his paper route. Scotty blossomed early and gave off a certain something throughout his life that made people want to confide in him. Take comfort in him. And, most importantly, fuck him and be fucked by him.
Scotty enlisted in the Marine Corps at the start of World War II. He survived, but his brother, fighting at the same battle, did not. Even the person on the field who told him the news that his brother had died soon died himself in the same way (cut in half by flying shrapnel). Like so many young men of the time, the experience gave Scotty the realization that life is too short and cruel not to spend it in the pursuit of pleasure, both giving and receiving.
Fast forward to 1945. Scotty starts hanging around a local gas station, a Union Oil station on Wilshire Blvd. An older, handsome man asks him if he’d like to make a few bucks, and if so, to get in his car. Scotty’s narrative voice is such that all of these encounters seem so innocent. The man is character actor Walter Pigeon (you’re going to want to leave the IMDB app open on your phone while reading – you know more of these actors and actresses than you think), and what he wants is to give ol’ Scotty a hummer. Scotty obliges, and Scotty makes $20. Not long after, other people from the film lot are looking for ol’ Scotty. Soon, more people show up, and Scotty starts to get an idea. He rounds up some of his prettiest friends, male and female, people who are looking to make a few extra bucks to hang around the gas station. Soon, Scotty is making matches left and right (he takes no fee for his services, so he’s not technically a pimp), setting up tricks with willing payers. And thus, the legend of the sexiest Union Oil station ever is born. (Get it? It’s called FULL SERVICE.)
It should be noted that Scotty is up for whatever, whenever. He doesn’t identify as gay, maybe bi, but says though he significantly prefers women, he’s been born with an enormous sexual appetite, a good body, endless charm and compassion, and a wide open set of interests. Thus, his frolics take him from young to old, man to woman, threesome, foursome, and moresome. Scotty got around!
The book was narrated by Scotty to author Lionel Friedberg. One of the things I like most about the narrative is Scotty’s voice. When he’s relaying the events, he sounds young and randy, full of joy and energy in his own body. When he reflects back on past mores or his reason for doing what he did, he suddenly sounds like the 86 year old Scotty Bowers narrating the story. “They had a term for lesbians back then, and I just hated it. They called them dykes, and I thought it was so disrespectful. Then again, many of the lesbians eventually claimed the word for themselves, so I guess it was all right. Still, I didn’t like to hear it, and I didn’t think my lesbian friends should be disrespected this way.” He tells us that immediately after several long paragraphs about nearly 40 years of setting up Katharine Hepburn with female companions (mostly young-ish looking women with dark hair).
If you know your Old Hollywood lore and are really familiar with the stars and second-tiers of Hollywood’s Golden Age, you’re going to have your mind blown with some of these stories. (You’ll sure as hell never look at Charles Laughton the same way after this!) If you’re the type of person who listens to Gilbert Gottfried’s podcast, you’re going to feel right at home in Scotty’s abode. As a character study, Scotty is a special character. Sexually promiscuous yet able to compartmentalize his life, Scotty has a wife and child at home, but spends days, even weeks away from home, working as a bartender for friends’ parties, setting up tricks, and tricking himself. He bluntly says that his wife probably knew about his other life, but never said anything. Scotty provided them with a house and an education for his daughter, and feels that “if the romance went out of our relationship, well, that just happens with people sometimes.” (Especially after you’ve been letting Spencer Tracy suck you off for days at a time.) His amorality in his life’s choices is both refreshing and aggravating – he suffers very little repercussions for his life of sexual freedom, and we sort of cheer along, but we also wonder what some other folks around him would say about the no-strings-attached nature of some of his stories.
Do I believe every story he tells? I don’t know. Some are almost mind-blowingly unlikely (again, Charles Laughton…oof), and yet, the only ones that really feel off are the times when he claims things about activities with civilians, not people in Hollywood. I’m more than willing to believe that he had threesomes with Noel Coward, or that Somerset Maugham would stage elaborate tableaus in which multiple couples (man/woman, man/man, woman/woman, group) would all perform in front him while he simply watched and sipped a drink. I was more incredulous when he would tell me that he had an early sexual encounter with a Catholic priest, and it was so mutually agreeable for both that he soon had 20 priests visiting him regularly. The number just seems off, too many loose lips (so to speak) for that to work.
The book progresses to the present day, through tragic deaths, a second love (ol’ Scotty’s a bigamist), the arrival of AIDS and the end of the promiscuous years. There’s a lot of darkness in the stories (like many non-famous folks, the sex of the stars is influenced as much by pain and past humiliations as pleasure), but the overall tone is a kind of bemused enjoyment. The theme of the whole thing is, “well, that’s sex for ya…intense, a bit sad, but, y’gotta admit, it’s a real hoot!” Scotty fucks and fucks until that lifestyle’s no longer feasible. Then he moves over to bartending (he’s a lifelong teetotaler, by the way) and general hobnobbing, which is where he’s still at today, dedicated in his vocation of bringing pleasure to all those around him.
It’s tinsel, it’s trash, but it’s also kind of sweet, a little gnarly, and awfully damn randy. As much sex as you assumed the famous, influential and powerful in Hollywood were having, quadruple that number. And feel free to believe as much of Scotty’s story as you like.
Recommended for unapologetic pervs.