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Kiss Me! How to raise your children with love

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4.13  ·  Rating details ·  1,143 ratings  ·  119 reviews
Kiss Me! is a book written in defense of children. In response to the many so-called expert theories that advocate the use excessive routines and discipline, Dr. Carlos Gonzalez - renowned pediatrician and author of My Child Won't Eat - advocates raising children based on love, respect and freedom.
Paperback, 1st English language edition, 224 pages
Published February 28th 2012 by Pinter & Martin (first published 1999)
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Average rating 4.13  · 
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 ·  1,143 ratings  ·  119 reviews


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Roberto Garcia Garcia
It is very difficult to be a good father. The main challenge is knowing what to do in each situation. Of course you will do what you think is the best but there are alwalys lots of doubts.
For instance, there some popular books that ask you to let your baby cry in order to teach him or her the correct manners. I just could not stand the idea of doing something like that.
This book is an alternative that is based in a close relation with your baby. Skin to skin. It has a simply message. Do you love
...more
Jennifer
Oct 02, 2012 rated it really liked it
I'll be buying my own copy of this book. It's not the best argued, the way it uses evidence is possibly rather suspect, but it has a unique eloquence.

It's a lovely book that I'll want to re-read and share with others, especially when I want a laugh, and to get some perspective, especially when I despair of my children behaving as I would like them to. It's quite unusual to read polemic with such humour. I've heard Carlos Gonzales speak and despite the challenges of excellent English with a heavy
...more
Carolina
Sep 29, 2009 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
This book was the first book about parenting that told me that it was Ok what I was doing with my son: caresing him, sleeping with him, "spoiling" him. Then I found "attachment parenting" : http://www.attachmentparenting.org that validated what I knew in my heart, but was embarrased to accept in public :) ...more
Malquiviades
This is a very interesting book, writing by a pediatric (Carlos González) dealing with many of the myths and falsehoods of child care.
Truly, it pays special attention to the called "Método Estivill" (the Spanish version of the behavioral Ferber method), although it deals with a huge amount of other well established believes and myths.
Basically, he gives scientific evidence (on a huge bibliography) of their falsehood and erroneousness providing the results of statistical data (if available) or po
...more
Leahjoypro
Jan 10, 2013 rated it it was amazing
Shelves: parenting
Bravo! This book just makes so much SENSE! If only we could all take this laid-back view of parenting our children that embraces what comes naturally - wouldn't life be easier for us all. I love his humor as well - makes for a very enjoyable read. I love the comparisons he draws between how we treat other adults, and how we should treat our children - with equal respect.
Cass
Jul 24, 2013 rated it it was amazing
[quote]"The book you are reading is not an attempt to strike a 'happy medium'; it is taking a clear stand. [b]This book assumes all children are essentially good, that their emotional needs are important and that we as parents owe them love, respect and attention.[/b] Those who disagree with these principles, who prefer to believe their child is a "little monster" and are looking for ways to bring him to heel, will -regrettably, in my opinion - find plenty of books more in line with their belief ...more
tripu
Jan 28, 2020 rated it liked it  ·  review of another edition
Recommends it for: parents and prospective parents
This book had been sitting around at home for a few months, since even before our little baby was born. A workmate of my girlfriend's had lent it to her, together with a few others related to pregnancy, babies and child-rearing. I had not paid much attention to it because its title and appearance put me off, frankly: “Kiss Me! How To Raise Your Children With Love”. Seriously? It totally looked like some bland, self-help-y, silly book for emotional mothers-to-be full of prolactin. (And there goes ...more
Miguel Ángel Vilela
Nov 12, 2011 rated it did not like it  ·  review of another edition
Recommends it for: Nobody
Shelves: parenting, shit
Piece of shit. The author uses the kind of arguments that won't hold together and the kind of comparisons that only use extremism to try to convince you. Honestly, piece of shit. If you want to read a really good book about the same subject, with about the same conclusions but with real scientific backup, please read "Bright from the Start" by Jill Stamm & Paula Spencer. I'm so sorry for those who can only read Spanish, becase this piece of shit is in their language and the really good books are ...more
Helen
Dec 23, 2014 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Compelling, challenging, frustrating...I'm one of those hippy parent types, so the author is pushing at an open door, so to speak, but he still gave me plenty of food for thought.
The technique of taking a paragraph from a standard childcare manual, or an invented conversation, and replacing "child" with "wife" or "woman" or "foreigner" or "slave" (etc) might seem as though it would tire with repetition, but it keeps working even though he keeps using it.
It's a massive challenge to us as parent
...more
Daniela
Nov 08, 2016 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
A shame that this even needed to be written. Shows clearly what we have allowed the conversation to become re our children. A great informative read
minhhai
Jul 22, 2016 rated it it was ok  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: english, non-fictions
Below are my comments on the first half of the book, because I did not have enough patience to finish the other half.

In the first 20 pages or so, the author attempts to clarify the stance of child educators and of himself. I really appreciate the effort, since many authors do not detail what assumptions they have made in their arguments. However, the author somehow mis-presents his standpoint. He pledges that he would "defend children and mothers", but that is half true. His actual stance is rat
...more
Jenna Mills
Nov 24, 2019 rated it really liked it
An interesting read. Made me reflect on a lot of things. Know better, do better.
April Whitlock
I just realised this book is already 10 years old, so it could be excused somewhat from a repetition of ideas found in plenty of other books of a similar ilk. It does read a little like a shopping list of examples - this is how they did it in the old days/how not to do it now, but that could be useful if you wanted to use it to refer to in case of a specific problem. Some of the references are good but at times other arguments are a bit huffy and simplistic. I was amused on one or two occasions ...more
Rose
Aug 18, 2014 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Although this book at times seemed to get a little on the emotional side, I tend to agree with a lot of the author's viewpoints so it didn't feel too abrasive to me. It might be a little more irritating to someone who doesn't feel very strongly one way or the other or disagrees with the author about certain things.

All in all, I enjoyed the book and I thought a lot of the things the author said made sense. The author does a better job at disagreeing with existing viewpoints than supporting their
...more
Charity Dušíková
I read the English version Kiss Me! This book is about interaction with babies and toddlers especially. The author (a Spanish pediatrician) champions quick response to babies’ needs, especially responding with love and affection. The book argues against any belief that children can be spoiled by affection, encourages practices like breastfeeding and babywearing and disagrees with practices like sleep-training and beliefs that infants are capricious and manipulative. I found it to be written with ...more
Toni
Jan 13, 2019 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Parenting By Instinct

I often compare my mothering to how I THINK it was done in caveman times, and again in the 1700s. It sounds strange, but Dr. Gonzalez actually spends a decent amount of time discussing this. I appreciate that. The whole book made me appreciate my approach to parenting, so it felt like a big pat on the back. That’s probably why I liked it. What I didn’t like is that the author used a GREAT DEAL of sarcasm to emphasize his points, and, in fact, relied on it so heavily that he
...more
Katy Williams
Mar 07, 2019 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Brilliant book!

Absolutely brilliant book. Recommend to all parents. It enables us to get down to our child's level and see things so much more from their perspective. It allows us the opportunity to take a step back and reflect upon our own parenting style, behaviour and also upon how we were parented and its impact. The book has allowed me opportunities to reflect upon my parenting now and assess how I want to be for my daughter now and in the future and how not to get stuck in cultural traps w
...more
Victoria
Maybe I'm one of those brainwashed parents who has been influenced by too many parenting manuals but I wasn't convinced by this book. It used contradictory reasoning and related back to evolutionary biology but in a completely non-logical way, so it left me feeling like I couldn't actually trust anything it was saying. I also believe in everything in moderation, so while the ideals here are good some of the time (and that bit is common sense) they also need to be used with boundaries some of the ...more
Greenleaf
Nov 08, 2014 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Wow. This is one of the best parenting books I've ever read. Although it's heavily science based the author makes it accessible with many apt analogies and metaphors and a dry sense of humour that got me to laugh out loud more than once. If you have trouble seeing the world from a child's perspective, or understanding why your child struggles with certain things, this book will really help you. It destroys the many silly parenting myths and recommendations that are out there while still being re ...more
Silvia
Sep 15, 2017 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: parenting
I loved it. It resonates with everything I'm currently doing and made me so glad that I have decided to follow my instincts. A real eye-opener as well when it comes to violence against children and authoritarian behaviours in the household. It is amazing to realise how mistaken we are and how rooted in our society those behaviours and justifications are. Made me think and made me laugh, actually. So the perfect book for those moments when you are breastfeeding and/or watching your baby sleep in ...more
Polya Yordanova
Jun 09, 2017 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
From today is my favorite book talk For The education with love.
Garima Agrawal
Another one of Carlos Gonzalez masterpiece after "My Child Won't Eat". A must read for every parent who wants to raise their children with love and respect because what you give is what you get.
Becca Garcia
Mar 28, 2020 rated it did not like it  ·  review of another edition
They recommended me the author and this book as “the bible” for modern parenting, so I really wanted to like this book, but I absolutely didn't. It was very difficult even to finish it, not because I don’t agree with many of his ideas or values, but because of how the author expresses them, and to sum up because of the book’s general inconsistency.

First of all, the book is not taking into account any new researches he could actually use to prove some of his arguments with logic. In general the b
...more
Eric Omine
May 28, 2020 rated it did not like it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: psychology
The main issue I have with this book is its take on behaviorism. For a book, which sort of claims some scientific validity, it'd be at least expected that Gonzalez would have researched what actually BF Skinner had to say about punishment (he was radically opposed to it).

Skinner observed through his research that aversive control leads to one of 3 responses: fighting back, running away or apathy. If you do "sleep training" (which is negative punishment in behaviorist terms) with a newborn who is
...more
Simona
Mar 20, 2018 rated it liked it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: tėvystė
The author truly loves children and encourages you to do the same. Unconditionally.
The book explores the widespread myths about parenting and kids behaviour.
Tanya
May 20, 2015 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
I really liked this book. I liked that there are authors who finally do not follow the existing stereotypes of how to raise the child. The thoughts that Carlos Gonzalez shares in his book make a lot of sense and are close to my personal opinion on the topic. I absolutely agree that our children need our love. They love us, their parents, unconditionally. The same we should be willing to give them back. It won't spoil. It will help to raise a confident, secure in herself (because loved) individua ...more
Helen Hanna
A little bit hard to read (because of the translation I guess - English not being his first language). So I feel like I didn't understand and connect with everything he was saying. (His sarcasm/use of humour was often lost on me). However, most of his ideas regarding parenting and babies did ring true for me and are consistent with my own opinions. Favourite quote: "We protest more when we feel accepted and loved" p. 190. This was of some encouragement in light of the mini meltdowns (my) little ...more
Luis Angulo
Jan 17, 2019 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Good reference

Everything makes sense. But Carlos has to remind you amd see thing in perspective.
Having said that, not everything is practical and the end of the day. You have to choose what you can do, depending in your circumstances bur knowing the implications of your decisions with your baby
Orsolya Toth
Jan 23, 2015 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Read this in English but couldn't find the English edition here. Anyway, this is an amazing book by Spanish paediatrician Carlos Gonzales. Some very sound advice there, on holding babies/children more, not letting them cry out, how to treat them respectfully etc. Couldn't recommend it more!
Pauline
Had to read this for a group presentation!
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Carlos González, a father of three, studied medicine at the Universidad Autónoma de Barcelona and trained as a paediatrician at the Hospital de Sant Joan de Déu. The founder and president of the Catalan Breastfeeding Association (ACPAM), he currently gives courses on breastfeeding for medical professionals.
Since 1996 he has been breastfeeding correspondent for Ser Padres (Being Parents) magazine.

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