Goodreads helps you keep track of books you want to read.
Start by marking “Chase in Shadow (Johnnies, #1)” as Want to Read:
Chase in Shadow (Johnnies, #1)
Enlarge cover
Rate this book
Clear rating
Open Preview

Chase in Shadow

(Johnnies #1)

4.15  ·  Rating details ·  3,911 ratings  ·  584 reviews
Chase Summers: Golden boy. Beautiful girlfriend, good friends, and a promising future.

Nobody knows the real Chase.

Chase Summers has a razor blade to his wrist and the smell of his lover’s goodbye clinging to his skin. He has a door in his heart so frightening he’d rather die than open it, and the lies he’s used to block it shut are thinning with every forbidd
Paperback, 320 pages
Published February 24th 2012 by Dreamspinner Press (first published February 23rd 2012)
More Details... Edit Details

Friend Reviews

To see what your friends thought of this book, please sign up.

Reader Q&A

To ask other readers questions about Chase in Shadow, please sign up.

Be the first to ask a question about Chase in Shadow

Community Reviews

Showing 1-30
Average rating 4.15  · 
Rating details
 ·  3,911 ratings  ·  584 reviews

More filters
Sort order
Kaje Harper
Feb 24, 2012 rated it it was amazing
Shelves: intense, m-m, favorites
Damn you, Amy Lane. I had things to do today, plans, obligations. I had my own writing too, and I left my guys waiting in the middle of a freaking sex scene to finish this book and watch you bring Chase and Tommy safely home.

Chase is a very young man who is trying to be a good person. He tries so hard to do the right thing, while locking his fears and pain and demons away in his head behind a red door. He's gay and he can't admit it, can't even think about it. Then a comment from a friend
I had three thoughts when I finished this book:

1. I LOVED this book too much, and damn I'm a glutton for angst, because I'm actually giddy.
2. Amy Lane may not be for everyone, but her books ROCK MY WORLD
3. I wonder when the next one is coming out?

Now the story...

The Broken Boy
...Self-Destructive Fuckery, thy name is Chase "Chance" Summers

Chase Summers is a young man who has been tampering with the reality of what and who he is his whole life. A horrible childhood, a mBoy...Self-Destructive
Heather K (dentist in my spare time)

Amy Lane's Johnnies series?

I mean this is Amy "rip-your-heart-out" Lane we're talking about! I love when she tears me to pieces. I'm an Amy Lane specific masochistic. I was like, "DO YOUR WORST! I'm ready!"

Somehow I read all of the other books in the Johnnies series before this one, the one that started it all. In fact, Dex in Blue was my first Amy Lane. The characters from "Chase in Shadow" are mentioned over and over in the other tw
5/13/17 Re-read three times already and still one of my favorites ;)

5.png (7307Ã1388):

I did it !! I've been wanting to read this one for so long...but after reading all the Goodreads reviews....I got a bit scared.

 photo naamloos_zpsmtzjixt0.png

1.85 it's me,not the book stars

Warning Rant i call Review Ahead and Maybe Spoilers

Even Sean Crisden, couldn't save this for me.


Called it quits at 89%, i just couldn't take it anymore. The only character i felt sympathy for had to go and do a stupid thing to make me dislike her.. ummmm!


I have been trying to read this for a long time but i kept giving up, so when i saw there was an audio-book and the narrator is
May 29, 2012 rated it really liked it
Shelves: lgbt
This is a love story, beautiful and tragic in it's tale which will captivate you and hold your heart to ransom right to the very end.....4.5 stars


At times during this book, I actually found it hard to read and not in a bad way, but because there is such profound raw emotion and heartbreak hiding behind the persona that is Chase Summers. He is 20
* Meli Mel *

♥♥♥ 4.5 Painful Stars ♥♥♥

●  ●  ●  ●  ●  ●  ●  ●  ●  ●  ●  ●  ●  ●  ●  ●  ●  ●

'Yes. Yes. I want something true. I want you. I want you so bad.'

●  ●  ●  ●  ●  ●  ●  ●  ●  ●  ●  ●  ●  ●  ●  ●  ●  ●

Oh, my heart!! This book broke it. I knew that it was going to be an emotional read just by reading the blurb, BUT, I didn't know how intense it would be. What a journey.



This one was really really TOUGH to read. This is my first solo Amy Lane read and now I understand how angsty her books are!

If you notice the cover has a door. And if you read the story, Chase mentioned a red door that's always on his mind.
So I was inspired to share this little poem about a DOOR.


This one was really really TOUGH to read. This is my first solo Amy Lane read and now I understand how angsty her books are!

If you notice the cover has a door. And if you read the story, Chase mentioned a red door that's always on his mind.
So I was inspired to share this little poem about a DOOR.


I touched the door...

I opened the door...


I closed the door!

The door.

Very nice isn't it?

So now my thoughts about the book.
Okay, the MC: Chase Summers.
His character is probably the one I related the most out of the ones I've read so far. How? I have a confession to make. I live a double life too. I'm actually moonlighting as a sexy agogo dancer in a gay club at night. Gyrating my sexy hips to the tune of "Careless Whisper" when I'm on stage. Kidding.

Let's just say I kinda found myself in a situation similar to Chase's.
I had a girlfriend even though I considered myself gay already. But I'm not out then and I kept my sexuality from her. And it was difficult hiding it from her. I keep thinking that I will never be enough for her even though I loved her because I won't be able to give everything she needs.
So when everytime Chase thinks that Mercy deserves so much more, it always strikes a chord in me. I felt like my healed wounds are starting to open again. It was unsettling.
Eventually I came out to her and that ended our relationship. But getting there was not easy at all. So I understand that part of Chase that he gone through.
I would like to applaud Ms. Lane for being spot on in the characteristics of Chase and showing how it's like being closeted while in a hetero relationship. If it was not, I wouldn't be affected this much. Bravo Ma'm!

Honestly, I'm not sure if I like Chase. Even though I understood what he's gone through, I don't approve his cheating. Actually the whole story revolves around his affair with Tommy. So if you guys don't like cheating in your books, beware with this.

I sympathize with him though, because it really is not easy losing one of your parents especially losing them to suicide. I have a cousin who lost her mother to suicide and it was very difficult for her. It will really fuck you up for life.
So please to the mothers/fathers out there: Don't kill yourselves.

During Chase's therapy, I ached for him. Those scenes when he cries all the time, I felt like I wanna cry with him. Just so he'll know that he's not in it alone. That's where I started to like him.

I rated this 5 stars because it affected me so much and it really is a great great read. But I have a lot of issues with this.

I'm not fond of the writing. The sequence of events is confusing and dizzying. It goes like this: A chapter starts with a scene, then it will go back to an event before that and then finally it comes back to the scene from the beginning. I had a hard time adjusting to that style for the first half of the book. It's quite annoying.

I'm not sure how authentic some aspects of the books are. (The porn thing and the therapy) So you have to suspend a little belief to enjoy this. It was believable enough for me. I actually enjoyed Chase's time with Johnnies.

Overall I actually loved and hated this book at the same time. And I wouldn't be able finish it if it weren't for your encouragements.

A RECOMMENDED read especially for those who love angst!
Enjoy guys!

Thank you for Eva for letting me join your BR and to Lucy, Barbara and Isabel for reading this with me. Till the next BR guys! Cheers!

T.A. Webb
Feb 25, 2012 rated it it was amazing
Chase is a college student, working on his degree. A baseball jock. The All American boy. Struggling, living with his girlfriend Mercy, the two work hard to maintain an apartment, and school, and plan, and save for a future.

Chase comes from a harsh background. Raised by his father after his mother committed suicide when he was a young boy, he’s struggled to be the perfect son. His father’s scorn drives him to be more, have more, make no missteps.

So when his friends mentio
Jun 26, 2014 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: br, hot, m-m, angst

Another BR with awesome friends

 photo oie_YcBRq08OkXhX_zps935adab8.gif

Chase in Shadow is a emotionally exhausting, and heart-breaking story, I has left with some mixed feelings, and a heavy weight on my chest, such a fantastic writing of a person living in denial… refusing to face the truth!!
Although the story does bounce around a bite, I surely loved the intensity of Chase and Tommy's relationship, despite I didn't always agree with Chase attitudes, I loved seeing his interior struggles, and of course loved the porn-stars was very entertaining!

You like a lot of angst very
Nick Pageant
Jan 17, 2015 rated it liked it
Shelves: m-m
Since I'm one of the last to read this, I don't need to summarize or discuss the plot. It's very well written because it's Amy Lane. The sex was super hot, the angst was way overdone (Amy Lane). It's definitely worth reading. I took off one star because of a plot twist at the end. I don't usually deduct stars because something makes me angry - making a reader angry has no bearing on quality, but this was just so egregious that I feel vengeful.
I had to really push to finish this book. I don't think I can recall a book that had so much piled up angst or crappy situations for the MC's. Unfortunately, I felt zero sympathy for the characters & found myself rolling my eyes at several points. For me, one dramatic situation after the other book ended by tears loses its poinancy. I can't empathize for the situations because there isn't any rise and fall. It just feels a bit manipulative for the reader to feel bad for the characters. Unfor ...more
Sep 05, 2012 rated it it was ok

2.5 Stars

You know that song "One of these things is not like the other..."? Yeah, that would be me. I know, GR M/M readers, you all LOVED this book. Me, gosh, I had a hard time getting through it.

It's totally an "it's not you, it's me" situation.

"Chase in Shadow" has all the things that should make a good book: romance, emotion, angst, drama...but it just didn't do it for me. Frankly, it was too long, too dragged out, too repetitive (porn scene, girlfriend scene, boyfriend scene, repeat...), an
A very powerful and emotional read. I had no idea the journey I was going on when I started this book, but it was one filled with unbelievable high and lows, amazing characters and a story that damn near ripped my heart out of my chest.

Slowly the layers are peeled back on Chase’s past as his story progresses in the present, and you can understand why he has chosen to hide behind the image of being straight. The guilt that this boy carried around for most of his life was unimaginable, and the façade
I've had the first 4 books of this series on my Kindle for 3 years, now. Yep, I bought them in February of 2015 and they have sat there taunting me all this time. They've had a little help, in the name of my friends who have also been prodding me to finally read the series, so, when I couldn't settle on a book for two days and I was starting to get agitated from the lack of reading, I thought "why not?" I knew it would be angsty AF and I knew that it would hit me right in the feels, and I hoped ...more
Kade Boehme
Feb 01, 2012 rated it it was amazing
Amy Lane is a GODDESS. Chase reminds me WHY I read this genre. Tommy is the reason this genre makes it impossible for men in my life to live up to this genre (clearly I've mental issues of my own). I've been down many of Chase's roads and while it made it achingly painful to read for me, it was also dealt with in a believable way and makes me want to give Amy Lane the biggest hug for understanding. I honestly have nothing other than an emotional review for this. I'm at a loss for words. The anti ...more
Audio – 2 stars I typically love Sean Crisden’s performance, but most of the characters in this story were given a nasal, whiny voice. What was up with that???

Story – 1.5 star round up because I managed to finish

Well it sucks to be me because I’m not part of the thousands of people who loved this story. By all accounts, I really should have. It’s the kind of angsty, messy story I’ve come to appreciate, but between the endless monologues and occasional flashbacks, I felt m
No rating. DNF @40%

This isn't the right story for me. I'm not going to go into all the reasons why. But I am very disappointed that I couldn't love it as much as most of my GR friends did. :-(
♥Laddie♥ (Lee Lee)
Something A Little Different...(In The End A DNF)

ETA 9/11/12:
The decision to DNF this book was a hard one. I tried extremely hard not to feel disgusted with the character of Chase, and for a moment it worked. In the end though I just COULD NOT feel anything but angry with him. The writing in this book is good. Amy Lane has been doing this for a long time and is obviously dedicated to her craft. Unfortunately, the writing, for me, couldn't save this book.

At the beginning of
Jan 26, 2012 rated it it was amazing
Shelves: keeper
Chase is a caretaker and it's a wonder that he is. His father was physically, mentally and emotionally abusive. He could have repeated the cycle of pain but instead he turned it all inward but gives the world his best face, his dearest heart. He cares for Mercy, even at the end, even bleeding, he lets her know that her car, the apartment, all taken care of. He could not have given her an easier out, made the transition away from him any easier. Tommy, the love of his life, he makes sure there ar ...more
How to describe this story?


Maybe like this?


An emotional roller coaster, the support beams being damaged and hollow from years of angst and strife. The car representing either one of the damaged gentlemen that are Chase and Tommy (sorry Chance & Tango for you Johnnies' fans). The emotions run so high and drop so low, frantic, frenetic, crazy, lustful, passionate, crazy, insane, so good it hurts,
Awilk -never sleeps-
I don't know how to review this book. It was one of the most emotionally powerful books I have read in a very long time.
It took me a while to get into the story, but then it was a case of telling the kids to look after themselves as Mum wasn't stopping until this book was finished.
There was a great cast of characters, with different personalities, who I enjoyed, but Chase was unbelievable. What a heartbreaking lead he was.
All I can say is, if this book is on your tbr, move it u
Emotional, Honest, Powerful and Real

"Nobody knows the real Chase."

"Chase knows all too well that the only things thriving in a heart’s darkness are the bitter personal demons that love to watch us bleed."




Chase isn't the world's nicest person. He makes decision
Apr 23, 2013 rated it it was amazing
Shelves: lendle, mm
I went into this book with pretty low expectations, but I was surprised by how much I enjoyed it. It's a hard read. Chase isn't the world's nicest person. He makes decisions that hurt other people, but his actions aren't born out of malice, or any sort of narcissism.

Chase is a deeply damaged, almost broken man. He doesn't want to hurt, or burden anyone. He made a promise to someone he truly cares for, and the thought of breaking that promise, and hurting Mercy is tearing him apart. He doesn't w
Sep 19, 2013 rated it it was amazing
Recommended to Sara by: Natasha
It’s life, Chase. I’m pretty sure you’ve figured out by now that it’s not always pretty.

This book! It. Killed. Me. I am dead. When they find my lifeless body with my Nook clutched to my chest, someone will pick it up, see Chase’s story, read those first words and get sucked in. When they are done, they will die too. Amy Lane’s gorgeous, heartbreaking, soul wrenching, emotionally exhausting and fantastic writing is the gay romance author’s version of the video from The Ring. Read her word
MsMiz (Tina)
Jan 25, 2012 rated it really liked it
Shelves: glbt-all, pdf
I wish I had the emotional writing depth to really do reviews justice, but I don't. Here I go trying it anyway!

Amy Lane has such a strong hold on flawed characters and she always delivers them as if you can feel, taste and KNOW them. She gives us this with Chase in Shadow. With that said, this book did not make me break down for days the way I did with A Solid Core of Alpha, but it does pack a punch in line with her other books, such as The Locker Room and Promise books. I would not be sad if we get to l
BWT (Belen)
Here's the thing...I put this series off for a very long time because I knew they did not just have normal Amy Lane Angst, oh no, they have Super Mega Huge Over The Top Amy Lane Angst, and I just wasn't sure whether or not I could handle that level of sustained feeling of deep anxiety or dread.

So like every good coward, I put the series onto my TBR and pretty much left it there. To languish among the hundreds.

Then I saw that Sean Crisden narrated the audio book. It's Sean. I have yet to hear a story where I didn't l
This book?

First off, the cover doesn't do this book justice. Second off, this book is so great it almost blew up my mind. So great. I laughed, mostly cried, felt bad, felt pissed, felt horribly wronged, wanted to hug everyone, wanted to smack everyone, and had my heart strings pulled.

This is a love story between two (maybe 3) characters who are so beautiful together, but in the most messed up ways. They both have their inner de
Mar 04, 2014 rated it really liked it
Recommended to Mona by: Julia
Shelves: m-m
**3.5 Gave it a Chance Stars**

Starting this book, I thought I'd be doing a lot of this...

But, surprisingly...not so much.

I still enjoyed it though.
Valentina Heart
Jan 25, 2012 rated it really liked it
Shelves: glbt, hearts-on-fire
This review was originally written for Hearts on Fire Reviews and can also be found there.

It’s no secret in the publishing world that Amy Lane can write. The topic doesn’t matter, because she will write an angst filled romance with whatever is at hand and just make it shine.

Chase is a young man with so much baggage my heart ached for him. At first glance it might seem as exaggeration, but as you keep on reading, seeing his struggle and his need to be loved and accepted you just have to break do
« previous 1 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 next »
topics  posts  views  last activity   
Typos I'd love to see corrected in the next edition... 2 15 Oct 30, 2014 08:20AM  
Buddy Read with Fantastic Friends! 30 June, Monday 105 35 Jul 05, 2014 04:36AM  

Readers also enjoyed

  • Second Chances (Second Chances #1)
  • Who We Are (Bear, Otter, and the Kid, #2)
  • Finding Zach (Finding Zach, #1)
  • Between Sinners and Saints
  • Aaron (Survivor Stories #1)
  • After Ben (Seattle Stories, #1)
  • Scrap Metal
  • Shattered Glass (Shattered Glass, #1)
  • Special Forces - Veterans (Special Forces, #3)
  • The Island
  • Breathe (Breathe, #1)
  • Crush (The House on Glass Beach #1)
  • Something Different
  • Take My Picture
  • Fifteen Shades of Gay (For Pay)
  • American Love Songs
  • The Nothingness of Ben (The Austin Trilogy, #1)
  • Conquest (Conquest, #1)
See similar books…
Amy Lane dodges an EDJ, mothers four children, and writes the occasional book. She, her brood, and her beloved mate, Mack, live in a crumbling mortgage in Citrus Heights, California, which is riddled with spiders, cats, and more than its share of fancy and weirdness. Feel free to visit her at, where she will ride the buzz of receivin ...more

Other books in the series

Johnnies (5 books)
  • Dex in Blue (Johnnies, #2)
  • Ethan in Gold (Johnnies, #3)
  • Black John (Johnnies, #4)
  • Bobby Green (Johnnies, #5)
“God. No wonder it was so easy. He’s been bleeding since he was a baby. He just never told anyone. How do you even know it hurts after all that time?” Because you loved me, and I knew what it meant to feel.” 22 likes
“Now about this turtle.
I think I’m gonna name it Oliver.”
“Why’s that?”
“Because he’s leaving little turtle poop ‘Oliver’ his terrarium.”
More quotes…