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Living Beautifully: with Uncertainty and Change

Pema Chödrön

4.32 · Rating details · 3,496 ratings · 279 reviews

Is it possible to live well when the very ground we stand on is shaky? Yes, says everyone's favorite Buddhist nun, it's even possible to live beautifully, compassionately, and happily on shaky ground—and the secret is: the ground is always shaky. Pema shows how using a traditional Buddhist practice called the Three Vows or Three Commitments is a way to relax into profound ...more

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Hardcover, 128 pages

Published October 9th 2012 by Shambhala (first published January 1st 2012)

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· 3,496 ratings · 279 reviews

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Jul 04, 2012 Joshunda Sanders rated it really liked it

"The Tibetan word for warrior, paw for a male warrior or pawmo for a female warrior, means “the one who cultivates bravery.” As warriors in training, we cultivate the courage and flexibility to live with uncertainty — with the shaky, tender feeling of anxiety, of nothing to hold on to — and to dedicate our lives to making ourselves available to every person, in every situation."

I have been a Pema Chodron fan for many years now. The Buddhist nun’s work has been critical to my on-somet ...more

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Dec 29, 2012 Michael rated it it was amazing

Shelves: spirituality

Look, it's impossible to not like Pema Chodron if you are someone who in interested in spiritual enlightenment. She is an American raised Buddhist who writes in the style anyone can understand and relate to. She's not overly "God" in her dialogue, and she's very down-to-earth. She's not out of touch with the realities of life.

This is NOT a self-help book. This is a self-AWARENESS book. It's about how to live with and accept the crap and the glory in life. It's how Buddhists make it through the ...more

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Sep 05, 2015 Kelli rated it really liked it

A beautiful rendering of The Three Commitments written in a very accepting and peaceful tone that felt like a discussion with a kind, brilliant friend. Much to ponder if you are interested in and open to it.

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Dec 06, 2012 Esra Bestel rated it it was amazing

Such a beautifully written little book.

"When the appearances of this life dissolve
May I with ease and great happiness,
Let go of all attachments to this life,
As a son or daughter returning home."

Dzigar Kongtrül

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Oct 25, 2017 Smitha Murthy rated it it was amazing

Shelves: women-writers, favorites, non-fiction, philosophy, must, 1001-books-to-read-before-you-die

There is nothing that I can say that can match the beauty of this book. I have read quite a few of Pema's books by now, and this is by far, the most practical of those. Not that the others were impractical, but here Pema is vividly honest, interspersing her own life experiences with many practices that can make the task of living more joyful and utterly simple.

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Mar 23, 2019 Roxanna Piedrafuette rated it it was ok

A few months ago, I went back to read “Living Beautifully with Uncertainty and Change” by Pema Chödrön. Such a small book, such a long time to read. I bought this book last year in one of those book-shopping sprees that was no more than an attempt to make my time in Qatar bearable, it had stayed on the shelves for a while. Then it migrated to my night table together with another book of similar inclinations—books that proclaimed to rework the teachings of the Buddha for modern western audiences— ...more

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Jul 22, 2013 Rose rated it liked it

Shelves: non-fiction, arc-or-galley, meditation, netgalley, reference, religion, health, psychological, wellness

Initial reaction: I thought this open approach to mindfulness and meditation was worth the read, but probably a bit redundant if you've read other works in Chodron's bibliography covering the same topic. Still, I appreciated her words and approach in one volume.

Full review:

I'll start this review by saying that I've always appreciated reading Pema Chödrön's inspiring expansions on approaching life and meditation practices. I've read a number of her narratives in the past, so it was with little won/>Full Initial reaction: I thought this open approach to mindfulness and meditation was worth the read, but probably a bit redundant if you've read other works in Chodron's bibliography covering the same topic. Still, I appreciated her words and approach in one volume.

Full review:

I'll start this review by saying that I've always appreciated reading Pema Chödrön's inspiring expansions on approaching life and meditation practices. I've read a number of her narratives in the past, so it was with little wonder that I picked up this particular work and found it immersive and a meditation in and of itself. Had me thinking on so many things, but also learning from it in a sphere that's both similar and separate from my own in ideology. Her articulations are sound, and it's easy for someone who may not necessarily be familiar with these Buddhist vows to be understand what they entail and how to put them into practice for inspiration. They're simple messages, but are far more profound in the measure of interpreting and integrating what they mean in one's day-to-day life and understanding the world around them.

The long and short of the aim of this narrative is describing three rules to approaching uncertainty and change (staying grounded) in the present world.

1. Committing to not cause harm
2. Committing to take care of one another
3. Committing to embrace the world as it is

The outline of these three measures compose the bulk of the book, and Chödrön uses each section to articulate what each of these mean in different facets, both in her personal experience as well as applications and expansions beyond. It's a constructive imaging in some measures, and others instructive. I did somewhat read it through a filter as not all of the measures apply to my respective life or ideology, but I learned quite a bit on the part of Buddhist ideals and expansions reading this book and how these three approaches come into place. It is a book that emphasizes becoming more self-aware and realizations made in that spectrum, which is something that I respected.

As far as a meditation measure is concerned, I think there are other narratives of hers that are a little more oriented towards that spectrum, so this wouldn't be my recommendation for an introduction in that scope, but it's still worth reading for the expansion on these ideals in themselves, to get people thinking on the matters presented. I'd say it's more of a supplement to Chödrön's other narratives, and notably powerful in its own way.

Overall score: 3/5 stars

Note: I received this as an ARC from NetGalley, form the publisher Shambhala. ...more

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Dec 25, 2012 Linda Hollingsworth rated it really liked it

Pema Chodron's books are full of wisdom, and I say this because I have read many of them and talked with others who have read them. This book is not only for our precarious lives today but for all times. She helps us understand that it is not the circumstances that threaten us but our reaction, our resistance to "the fundamental uncertainty of our situation" that causes our suffering. We need to let the truth of "how things really are" sink in by being fully present, feeling our hearts, and meet Pema Chodron's books are full of wisdom, and I say this because I have read many of them and talked with others who have read them. This book is not only for our precarious lives today but for all times. She helps us understand that it is not the circumstances that threaten us but our reaction, our resistance to "the fundamental uncertainty of our situation" that causes our suffering. We need to let the truth of "how things really are" sink in by being fully present, feeling our hearts, and meeting each moment without an agenda. Meditation helps this to become familiar ground upon which to live our lives, it helps us establish a habit of seeing the truth of what hooks us, so we can recognize it more easily in our daily lives. Acknowledging that we're hooked (with a sense of compassion for ourselves) is the first step to liberating us from that suffering: "...we will come to experience life's impermanent and changing energy not just as threatening, but also as refreshing, liberating, and inspiring."

Beyond compassion for ourselves is our compassion for others. She describes bodhicitta as "...a trust in our innate ability to go beyond bias, beyond prejudice and fixed opinions, and open our hearts to everyone..." It helps loosen us from narrow thinking and our resistance to change. Pema points out that this may need to happen very gradually, and we need to be okay with making even a little more headway each time we recoil in fear from meeting this particular edge. "We live our lives as an experiment." Our strong intention to make headway and our compassion for ourselves and others keeps us going.

There is so much that is helpful in this book, ways to practice as well as insights, that I kept track of particularly striking passages, and I will be reading it again. One of the most helpful analogies for me was visualizating of my life as an ever-changing mandala, and I will end this review with a quote from that part of the book:

"We stand in the center of our own circle, and everything we see, hear, and think forms the mandala of our life...we don't set it up; we don't get to choose what or who shows up in it... Everything that shows up in your mandala is a vehicle for your awakening. And we embrace it just as it is." ...more

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Jan 11, 2018 Liz rated it liked it

Shelves: 2018, didn-t-finish, nonfiction

In which I realize that I am not yet a Buddhist and may never be one. Helpful insights abound in this book but I found myself being contrary as I read it, which I am pretty sure is not at all the point of Buddhism. I am still really attached to my emotions, even the ones I don't like, and while I loved learning that most emotions only last for 90 seconds before they pass unless we feed them, sometimes I want to feed my emotions.

Simultaneously while reading the book, my family is prep ...more

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Oct 07, 2018 J Brandon Gibson rated it really liked it

Shelves: philosophy-wisdom-self-help, favorites, red-wagon

This book will end up changing my life, in a utility kind of way. I have read, and learned about several of the techniques Pema Chödrön suggests for dealing with the storm constantly beating down on us throughout life, but this time, with her book it means more.
This book will be meaningful to those that are seeking joy, amongst turbulence, but also open minded enough to see that their self made narrative, or adopted narrative will prevent them from moving forward.
I really hesitate to This book will end up changing my life, in a utility kind of way. I have read, and learned about several of the techniques Pema Chödrön suggests for dealing with the storm constantly beating down on us throughout life, but this time, with her book it means more.
This book will be meaningful to those that are seeking joy, amongst turbulence, but also open minded enough to see that their self made narrative, or adopted narrative will prevent them from moving forward.
I really hesitate to write these reviews, but I would like to at least share one insight I had while reading Living Beautifully. So for those who are here to see why I think this book is good, the following exhausting review is for you :)

In life, spirituality, religion, culture, etc.. humans, and the groups we associate ourselves with, will often come up with strategic outlines, or sometimes allegories to help us deal with the commotion and turbulence that life unyieldingly barrages us. One theory is to build a sturdy foundation. I call this fortress mode. In short, we write our narrative and surround it with a super fortified set of guards and protections so that the world around us can't shatter our story.
The problem with fortress mode, is that we have to have the narrative written before the walls go up. We decide how our life will be, and what is right and wrong, and what the end goal is. This works really well, but I can tell you right now that its very hard to adjust your narrative at that point. Its hard to see whats happening on the outside, and its harder to receive further light and possible new hooks for your story when you no longer have access to the outside. Fortress mode works well for those who "know" they got it all figured out.
Pema Chödrön introduces a context that requires no fortress walls. The concept is beautiful, because it makes us the fortress. It turns us into dancers, who know how to ride the storm, and to not let it pull us under. There is no narrative, and story. The story gets written day by day, and possibilities for new light, and new understanding are readily available. Its focus is to live in the present, and to keep vows, and commitments as sacred, internally.
I love the 2nd commitment, which is known as the Warrior Vow, or Path of the Warrior. This commitment is to help everyone, to heal everything, to be one who is strong enough to run out into the storm, and pull people in under shelter.
As I alluded to earlier though, the real power in Living Beautifully (which is what this book is called, but also what I am calling this philosophy on surviving the storm), is that joy, and happiness is found in everything. In fortress mode, if one of your walls breaks down, and part of your story is altered, it brings great anxiety and pain to try and fix it. No such thing exists when living beautifully. Hard times will beat you down, and seeing the beauty in that moment shapes us more profoundly than any cloistering up tactic of self preservation.
I note, that this is not the first book I have read to speak of this life lens, but it is the first I have read after tearing down my fortress walls, and for that I find it enlightening. I suggest this for those who long for awakening in, and finding the sacred world. ...more

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Apr 27, 2016 Jaclyn Day rated it really liked it

I am exhausted of these books and the fact that I am so tired tells me that I probably need them all the more, that I am burning out because they are the right thing, that I am unwilling to internalize them because they are so potent. The point of this book—and others like it—is that resistance is futile, that to be whole, we must lean into the dogs that chase us in the night, that we must accept the hard things, the angry things; we must meet darkness in full, move within it and then, perhaps, ...more

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Jan 25, 2015 Joyce rated it really liked it

Shelves: inspiration

There is much to ponder and integrate in this little book. The three main themes are to committing to not cause harm, committing to take care of one another and committing to embrace the world just as it is. It's written in the context of living with uncertainty and change and this would be a good book to go to when our lives hit those bumps in the road.

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Dec 08, 2013 Lisa rated it it was amazing · review of another edition

This is more focused perhaps than her other works. She is able to impart her wisdom of some similar concepts in completely new ways so that no book seems duplicative to me. Still she promotes tonglen practice more than meitri which always surprises me.

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Feb 12, 2018 Kathleen rated it really liked it · review of another edition

A wonderful and comforting book for pretty much anybody. Chodron reminds us to stay present and be open; don't cling to your preconceived notions of anything. Breathe in suffering and pain, and out comfort and joy. Uncertainty is a welcome teacher. #bookworm #bookstagram #livingbeautifully

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Dec 07, 2018 Samantha rated it it was amazing

Shelves: on-the-bookshelf

Wow wow wow. I can not recommend this book highly enough. Favorite recommendation: if you’re entering into an emotionally challenging situation, be present, feel your heart, and engage in the next moment without agenda. I will definitely reread this one!

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Mar 05, 2014 Sally rated it it was amazing

Shelves: religion-buddhism

Buddhist Pema Chödrön offers inspiring, down-to-earth advice for those of any or no religion on dealing constructively with the human condition. The book centers on three traditional Buddhist vows – to do no harm, to do good, and to see the world as it is – which aren’t about being moral but “about opening ourselves to a vaster perspective and changing at the core.” To make this change we need to be honest and kind with ourselves while confronting our mental and emotional habits: “Buddhism holds Buddhist Pema Chödrön offers inspiring, down-to-earth advice for those of any or no religion on dealing constructively with the human condition. The book centers on three traditional Buddhist vows – to do no harm, to do good, and to see the world as it is – which aren’t about being moral but “about opening ourselves to a vaster perspective and changing at the core.” To make this change we need to be honest and kind with ourselves while confronting our mental and emotional habits: “Buddhism holds that the true nature of the mind is as vast as the sky and that thoughts and emotions are like clouds that, from our vantage point, obscure it…. The thoughts and emotions may make it difficult for us to contact the openness of our minds, but they’re like old friends who have accompanied us for as long as we can remember, and we’re very resistant to saying good-bye” to them. Together, the three vows help people contact their vaster self and its fundamental goodness.

The first vow, to do no harm, involves refraining from (not repressing or denying) particular harmful actions, but Pema explores a more profound aspect: “The commitment is to refrain from speech and action that would be harmful to others and then to make friends with the underlying feelings that motivate us to do harm in the first place.” To control speech and actions we must be aware of the thoughts and feelings behind them. Meditation and other mindfulness practices keep awareness in the present moment and let us observe our thoughts and feelings without identifying with them. Practicing letting go of the mind’s contents when calm helps later in upsetting situations. Neurologically emotions last only about ninety seconds; when they last longer we are re-energizing them with our thoughts about what happened. With mindfulness we can learn to stop feeding these feelings.

The second vow, to do good, puts us on the bodhisattva or warrior path, which requires the cultivation of courage, empathy and love. Consciously opening up to the world’s pain – the pain of those we like, those we don’t like, and those we don’t notice or will never meet – in order to relieve it requires strength, fearlessness and determination: “Compassion is threatening to the ego. We might think of it as something warm and soothing, but actually it’s very raw. When we set out to support other beings, when we go so far as to stand in their shoes, when we aspire to never close down to anyone, we quickly find ourselves in the uncomfortable territory of ‘life not on my terms’.” Compassion isn’t the strong pitying or supporting the weak, but a relationship of mutual support between equals.

The practice offered for this vow is breathing in the pain of others and then breathing out relief. This counteracts the human tendency to take in relief and give out or reject pain. The author also suggests that when we realize we’ve closed down or are beginning to lose it, we come back into the present, getting in touch with our body, mind and feelings; feel our heart, “literally placing your hand on your chest if you find that helpful,” accepting yourself as you are right then; and then “go into the next moment without any agenda,” opening to the person or situation in front of you and dropping the storyline you were telling yourself about it.

The third vow, to embrace the world just as it is, means “to develop a complete acceptance and openness to all situations and emotions, and to all people, experiencing everything totally without mental reservations and blockages, so that one never withdraws and centralizes into oneself…. being completely present and open to all sights, all sounds, all thoughts – never withdrawing, never hiding, never needing to jazz them up or tone them down.” As we become less self-absorbed, less attached to a vision of who we are, and less controlled by our fearful ego, we begin to see our opinions and vision of things as simply our opinions and visions. Instead of dread or a need to control, we develop curiosity.

Everyone is bound to break the three vows over and over. Each time we do, we start again from wherever we are and reaffirm the vow. “Together, the three commitments form the education of the warrior. On the warrior path, we train in never turning away from our experience. And when we do turn away, it’s based on being able to discriminate between turning away because we know we can’t handle something at the moment and turning away because we don’t want to feel what we’re feeling, don’t want to feel our vulnerability. But we don’t develop this discrimination all at once. We get there inch by inch, moment by moment, step by step, working with our heart and mind.” This book is an excellent aid on this path to becoming more fully human.
...more

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Oct 05, 2012 Tanya McGinnity rated it really liked it

Book Review: Pema Chodron’s “Living Beautifully with Uncertainty and Change”

Pema Chödrön is my go to for books that both kick me in the rump and provide that warmbelly feeling after eating a nice bowl of soup on a cold winter day. How can it feel both good and bad at the same time? How can it be like medicine that burns going down but yet helps to soothe? Well that’s just Pema’s teachings. They’re like that.

Based on a series of talks delivered at Gampo Abbey in 2009 durin Book Review: Pema Chodron’s “Living Beautifully with Uncertainty and Change”

Pema Chödrön is my go to for books that both kick me in the rump and provide that warmbelly feeling after eating a nice bowl of soup on a cold winter day. How can it feel both good and bad at the same time? How can it be like medicine that burns going down but yet helps to soothe? Well that’s just Pema’s teachings. They’re like that.

Based on a series of talks delivered at Gampo Abbey in 2009 during a winter retreat, the material in the book centers around how we as laypeople can work with The Three Vows (Pratimoksha, Boddhisattva and Samaya). Before you start to get freaked out about the word ‘vows’ and envision running off to a cave with a freshly shaved head, the book treats these in a very general way rather than in the depth that one studying and making a commitment to the dharma would pursue with their teacher.The vows are viewed as a way to work with our lives and to provide us with an opportunity to wake up and be more gentle with ourselves and others. If you wish to go further than what this book touches upon, then ‘consult a licensed spiritual teacher.’

Much of Pema Chödrön’s teachings (to those unfamiliar with her) touch upon the themes of being human, suffering, clinging, ego and the level of solidity that we expect from our birthright, only to be met with the confusion and pain that comes when that solidness escapes us.She works to help untangle the confusion that comes from being born into the human realm such as uncertainty and impermanence and uses her own experiences as a nun, teacher, student and human being to illustrate the points within the book. Within ‘Living Beautifuly’, she presents the Three Vows as the instructions that can help us to awaken from this confusion.

In a nutshell, the vows relate to different methods and areas of focus to help work with ourselves and navigate in our world and link with the Three Vehicles of Hinayana, Mahayana and Vajrayana and are as follows:

Pratimoksha Vow: This vow relates to the commitments around personal liberation and not causing harm via words or actions.
Bodhisattva Vow: This vow moves towards helping others and working to ease the suffering of all sentient beings.
Samaya Vow: This vow centers around the mission to take the world as it is, without any duality or bias and to see all around us as ‘awakened energy’.

The book is chock full of guidance and good advice and digs deep into feelings and emotions and how the vows can help us to untether from the usual storylines we find ourselves embroiled in. The advice provided isn’t heavy handed or relating to a moral code of good and bad, but conveys principles centered around living in a decent manner that is sane for ourselves and for those around us. Take it or leave it.

It’s hard work to break out of ingrained patterns built up over time, but these vows provide the architecture for building a foundation for sanity and a life free from perpetual torment and confusion. The Eight Worldly Concerns are also mentioned in the book and hook into these teachings quite well on how the vows can guide us from being at the whims of such emotions, feelings and distractions. Many exercises, practices and overall bits of good advice are mentioned within the book as well as quotes and teachings from Pema’s teachers.

Considering the author has put out numerous books, audio and video teachings, to a seasoned Pema fangirl like myself, some of the material is a bit repetitive (ie: teachings on breathing, meditation, tonglen), but there is enough meat within to have kept me captivated regardless.

“Living Beautifully with Uncertainty and Change” is a good gateway guide to Buddhist teachings on the Three Vows and provide a framework for how we can work with our minds, let go and break from our habitual tendencies. While it may seem daunting, knowing that we can work on this and seeing that bit by bit, we’re able to generate awareness and lead more compassionate lives. ...more

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Jan 21, 2013 K.M. Johnson-Weider rated it it was amazing

An excellent book, presenting the three levels of Buddhist vows (in the Tibetan tradition called the Pratimoksha, Bodhisattva, and Samaya Vows) in the form of three commitments that correspond to three components of spiritual training and growth. Pema Chodron always seems very understanding of the problems we are facing, while also being relentlessly insistent that we can do this spiritual warrior training, no matter where we are starting from or what we are grappling with. Thus her teachings se ...more

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Sep 29, 2014 John rated it it was amazing

Shelves: fav

A really great book that found me at a really opportune time. As a person who deals with fear by bracing myself and rushing through, the practices described are challenging and I believe will help me in the long run.

I borrowed this from the library and I think I will re-read to enjoy it all over again.

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Jul 10, 2012 John rated it it was amazing

breaking down the path into the 3 commitments:

1) commitment of non-harm
2) for the benefit of others
3) by communicating with the present as it arises

concise, eloquent, inspiring, loving. like spending time with a beloved, wise friend.

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Apr 03, 2017 Margot Note added it

"How can we make friends with unpredictability and uncertainty--and embrace them as vehicles to transform our lives?" (3-4).

"Looking deeper, we could say that the real cause of suffering is not being able to tolerate uncertainty--and thinking that it's perfectly sane, perfectly normal, to deny the fundamental groundlessness of being human" (8).

"Acknowledge the feeling, give it your full compassionate, even welcoming attention, and even if it's only for a few seconds, drop the story "How can we make friends with unpredictability and uncertainty--and embrace them as vehicles to transform our lives?" (3-4).

"Looking deeper, we could say that the real cause of suffering is not being able to tolerate uncertainty--and thinking that it's perfectly sane, perfectly normal, to deny the fundamental groundlessness of being human" (8).

"Acknowledge the feeling, give it your full compassionate, even welcoming attention, and even if it's only for a few seconds, drop the story line about the feeling. This allows you to have a direct experience of it, free of interpretation" (13).

"Be fully present. Feel your heart. And engage the next moment without an agenda" (21).

"When you refrain from habitual thoughts and behavior, the uncomfortable feelings will still be there. They don't magically disappear.... You're left with the feelings you were trying to escape. The practice is to make a wholehearted relationship with that" (36).

"Instead of letting our regrets drag us down, we can use them to spur us on to not repeat harmful acts but to learn from them how to be wiser in the future. We are fundamentally good, not fundamentally flawed, and we can trust this" (38-39).

"You build inner strength through embracing the totality of your experience, both the delightful parts and the difficult parts. Embracing the totality of your experience is one definition of having loving-kindness for yourself. Loving-kindness for yourself does not mean making sure you're feeling good all the time--trying to set up your life so that you're comfortable every moment. Rather, it means setting up your life so that you have time for meditation and self-reflection, for kindhearted, compassionate self-honesty. In this way you become more attuned to seeing when you're biting the hook, when you're getting caught in the undertow of emotions, when you're grasping and when you're letting go. This is the way you become a true friend to yourself just as you are, with both your laziness and your bravery. There is no step more important than this" (53).

"The truth is that we're always in some kind of in-between state, always in process. We never fully arrive. When we're present with the dynamic quality of our lives, we're also present with impermanence, uncertainty, and change" (61).

"Many years ago, one of the monks at Gampo Abbey introduced me to the practice of saying to myself when I wake up, 'I wonder what will happen today.' That's the spirit of taking a leap" (73).

"With the commitment to embrace the world just as it is, we begin to see that sanity and goodness are always present and can be uncovered right here, right now" (116).

"I realized then what it means to hold pain in my heart and simultaneously be deeply touched by the power and magic of the world. Life doesn't have to be one way or the other. We don't have to jump back and forth. We can live beautifully with whatever comes--heartache and joy, success and failure, instability and change" (134).

"May we all learn that pain is not the end of the journey, and neither is delight. We can hold them both--indeed hold it all--at the same time, remembering that everything in these quixotic, unpredictable, unsettled and unsettling, exhilarating and heart-stirring times is a doorway to awakening in sacred world" (139). ...more

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Jun 30, 2018 Paula Cappa rated it it was amazing

This is about building inner strength, emotionally and mentally. Choosing to be brave! Chodron explains about taking a fresh look at your belief system that causes pain and suffering and going through the process of releasing and finding your true self. Chodron says that we all cling to fixed ideas and our fixed identity and therein lies the problem. Unmask, let go, open the mind and heart. Be totally honest. She uses a metaphor of a rapidly moving river as life. We are clinging to the shore, af ...more

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Jan 13, 2019 shira rated it it was amazing

Slowly revisiting this book has been deep nourishment.

“Living Beautifully with Uncertainty and Change” is an invitation to be here where we are with an openness and willingness of heart and mind.

It is also an invitation to look at our inner commitments.

I appreciate that Pema includes some of the ways the teachings have assisted her to shift her own personal struggles through the years. She is transparent and real.

Each person's life is a like a mandala ~ a vast, lim/>Each ...more

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Feb 08, 2017 ياسمين خليفة rated it it was amazing

Pema Chodron is my favorite spiritual teacher.
Whenever I feel sad or depressed I always go to her teachings or listen to her audio books.
She is always wise,funny and down to earth.
In this book she talks about how to embrace life as it is, how to embrace groundless and restless and how to refrain from bad habits that make our life worse.
She talks about three commitments that we need to make in order to have better life.
This is not about chasing happiness or temporary pleasures but it is rath ...more

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Aug 11, 2017 Maurya rated it really liked it · review of another edition

This is a hard book to categorize because I think whether you like it or not will be where you are in your life and whether you are ready for it.

I think I was ready. I enjoyed this book over a series of days. I could only read a bit at a time and then needed to digest. That being said, I think to get full beauty from this book, I am going to need to read it again. (I am not so good at that re-reading part...)

I definitely like the book's philosophy and do recommend.

Thanks ...more

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May 30, 2017 Andrea Laurion rated it it was amazing

Hi, I'm a control freak, who probably needs to reread this book on a weekly basis.

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Aug 17, 2017 Kay rated it it was amazing

Pema Chodron never disappointing me. This book is full of usefulness and inspiration.

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Aug 04, 2013 Carmen rated it it was amazing

This was a book that I wanted to commit to memory from page 1. I read and reread paragraphs over and over to grasp the layers of beautiful guidance on a deeper level. I wanted to live from this book. Pema Chodron is an amazing writer and I've been drawn to several of her books in the past. However, I'm not sure I've ever finished one until now. I often find it hard to stay with books on Buddhism. Although the concepts are beautiful, I find the circular conversations on emptiness and non attachme This was a book that I wanted to commit to memory from page 1. I read and reread paragraphs over and over to grasp the layers of beautiful guidance on a deeper level. I wanted to live from this book. Pema Chodron is an amazing writer and I've been drawn to several of her books in the past. However, I'm not sure I've ever finished one until now. I often find it hard to stay with books on Buddhism. Although the concepts are beautiful, I find the circular conversations on emptiness and non attachment hard to grasp. Emptiness? Non attachment?!! I do NOT relate.

This book was much easier to digest, partly due to being a slim volume at 139 pages. But also, she simplified the discussion into three main vows, three commitments: To do No Harm, To Take Care of One Another, To Embrace the World Just as it is. Within each of these vows, she provides practical guidance about meditations, relational stories highlighting the humanity in practicing these vows and a great deal of humor. There was a section that I found especially illuminating. I've always loved the idea of breathing in pain and breathing out healing, but struggled with this meditation, she calls Tonglen. I don't want to be a filter, bringing in all that darkness, letting it clog up my emotional arteries.

But she provided this Ah, HA moment for me with one sentence about beginning Tonglen: reflect upon a wide open space, like looking out to the ocean or gazing at a cloudless sky. I got it! It wasn't about taking on the suffering of the world onto our "shoulders" or breaking in toxicity into our own lungs. It wasn't about taking on the responsibility of the world's suffering like a martyr until it killed you. It was about practicing loving kindness towards ourselves and the world. It was about not being afraid to connect to the pain and suffering of ourselves or the world, to connect to something as vast as oceans and skies to aid us and to be fully realizing our interconnectedness to the entirety of our own and others existence. It was about moving towards relief, as much as pain. Joy, as much as sorrow. If we can't embrace the darkness, I'm wondering if we are equally able to embrace the light.

I may have thought I understood these ideas before, but she so eloquently talks about them that it sunk in a little deeper this time. Maybe next time around I'll truly "get it." And then maybe I'll get to live it. Until then, I think I'm going to continue re reading and underlining every page. ...more

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Jul 19, 2015 Heidi The Reader rated it it was ok

Shelves: non-fiction, buddhism

I would love to Live Beautifully with Uncertainty and Change, but I don't. Pema Chodron gives the reader some ways to handle life more gracefully in this, but I didn't really connect with her message.

She gives the three major commitments in Buddhism: 1 Committing Not to Cause Harm. 2 Committing to Take Care of One Another. 3 Committing to Embrace the World. Her dissection of these is scholarly, complete, and I just didn't dig it. Maybe I didn't enjoy this as much because I just read I would love to Live Beautifully with Uncertainty and Change, but I don't. Pema Chodron gives the reader some ways to handle life more gracefully in this, but I didn't really connect with her message.

She gives the three major commitments in Buddhism: 1 Committing Not to Cause Harm. 2 Committing to Take Care of One Another. 3 Committing to Embrace the World. Her dissection of these is scholarly, complete, and I just didn't dig it. Maybe I didn't enjoy this as much because I just read Davidji's meditation book last week and he approaches meditation and spiritual change with a sense of fun and playfulness. I feel like Pema takes everything so seriously. That's not to say that spirituality always has to be light and airy, but I don't really like anything that feels dogmatic and this sort of does.

In chapter 10, Awakening in the Charnel Ground, I felt like she missed an opportunity to make a rather difficult teaching more accessible. She didn't talk about how when the Buddha left some of his disciples in the charnel ground to meditate on their own deaths, when he returned, some of them had gone mad through the effort. I can't remember where I read that, but it stuck with me as an example of what happens when you try to go somewhere spiritually, even with the best of intentions, that you're not ready for yet. That's kind of how this whole book felt for me. It would be awesome if I was ready to embrace it fully, but I'm not quite there yet.

I did get some good out of it though. The part of her book that I connected with the most was on pg 21 when she exhorts the reader to "Be fully present. Feel your heart. And engage the next moment without an agenda." My job is going to be crazy for the next couple of weeks because we're starting a major renovation project while remaining open for business. I won't even have a desk for awhile. It's stressful to contemplate the unknown. So, I intend to apply these instructions. It seems simple enough, but I've found my main difficulty in spiritual practice comes in the real life application. I suppose that, in a way, could be true for anything that you want to introduce to your life- perfect in theory, imperfect in practice.

If you're going to read Pema Chodron, I'd suggest her book, When Things Fall Apart. She really shines in that one. ...more

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Oct 10, 2012 Kim rated it really liked it

I could read books like this one un-endingly. In fact, that's what usually happens: I read the book, but continue to go back and linger over certain sections, re-reading and re-reading points that need to be emphasized within my life at that moment in time. Which means, really, that I never do finish the book. I'm the same with Pema's book 'When Things Fall Apart'. Throughout my experience of life it's always been important to me to stop and take stock, especially in a spiritual way. What am I e ...more

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About Pema Chödrön

Pema Chödrön

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Ani Pema Chödrön (Deirdre Blomfield-Brown) is an American Buddhist nun in the Tibetan tradition, closely associated with the Kagyu school and the Shambhala lineage.

She attended Miss Porter's School in Connecticut and graduated from the University of California at Berkeley. She taught as an elementary school teacher for many years in both New Mexico and California. Pema has two children and three grandchildren.
(Deirdre ...more