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Santa Claus and the El...
 
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Jordan Krall
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Santa Claus and the Elves of Fuck

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4.04  ·  Rating details ·  28 Ratings  ·  8 Reviews
The kinkiest Christmas story ever!

After Santa is unfaithful one too many times, Mrs. Claus hires the lethal Elves of Fuck to "take care" of him. But when Santa is abducted by a mysterious peppermint dominatrix, everything explodes into an orgy of bondage, torture, sex, and sugarplum gore.

This is a violent and sexy Christmas story for adults only.

Kindle Edition
Published (first published November 22nd 2011)
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Donald Armfield
Santa thinks with his second brain, just as much as the next guy. But this year in between delivering toys and catching a quickie with some random chick. Santa might just meet the naughty list with a huge dominatrix spanking.

The smell of peppermint has kidnapped Santa. Mrs. Clause is thinking he is being the cheating spouse he is, (like always.) He is locked away in a bitch-box being tortured with peppermint smelling bodily fluids and the smell of feet. The elves of fuck have been sent to kill h
...more
Tony Bertauski
Mar 30, 2012 rated it liked it
I've never dropped acid. But if I did, I think I would enjoy this book.

I ran into it on Amazon by accident and with a title like the above, it was hard not to look inside. The first couple of chapters are irreverent to the nth degree. While I'm not opposed to erotica, it's not something I reach for. This was not that. It was something far stranger and twisted.

What started out as something out of a Bad Santa script (funny and cringe-worthy) the later chapters devolved into something far less inte
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Grivante Grivante
Dec 18, 2015 rated it it was amazing
We bought this book from the publisher at The Living Dead Horror Con in Portland, OR because we wanted something sick and twisted to read and it was nearing Christmas, so we felt it would be a great choice. Plus the cover was right up our alley!

The first story by Jordan Krall absolutely delivered. It was sick, twisted and sexy, all while being entertaining and keeping you guessing as to what was going to happen. We will definitely be tracking down more of Jordan's work to see what other kind of
...more
Paige Ellen Stone
May 31, 2013 rated it it was amazing
Just read it. Only a mind as ingeniously demented as Mr. Krall's could come up with this. It's a fast read... well, if you exclude the amount of time you will spend laughing your ass off... The strange thing is, I'm willing to bet he was stone cold sober when he wrote it. Demented, bizarre, bad taste, it's all here for the ass king (sic)... If you don't have a truly free and loose sense of humor, don't bother - you won't get it. Otherwise, read and howl...
Sam McCanna
I just read this on Christmas day and had a lot of fun with it.
It is very short, and doesn't have quite the polish of Krall's longer works, so I've docked it a star, however the naughty story within is a riot, and pulls you through it, just waiting to find out what's going to happen in the end.
Highly recommended next time you are in the mood for a little Christmas cheer!
Manolis
Dec 17, 2016 rated it it was ok
Crazy weird, but ultimately pointless. No emotion or real feeling buried within, just ridiculous words strung together for no apparent reason.
If you are a lightweight and want to be semi grossed out by something Extreme read this for the holidays, but if you like your fiction to stick with you for a bit forget it.
Dana King
Mar 18, 2014 rated it really liked it
Silly fun from the usually serious mind of Krall.
Velia
wow...Mrs Claus is a woman not to be messed with.

I still don't know what the history of Tusk city is and I still want to know.
Justin Mank
rated it it was amazing
Dec 22, 2014
Pedro Proença
rated it it was amazing
Apr 22, 2014
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