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332 pages, Paperback
First published September 25, 2012
"You look slammin'," Elysia told Lex. "That shirt is gorgeous on you."
"This is not a shirt. This is a napkin with armholes."
“You look sophisticated.”
“I look like a clown whore.”
“Hope you’re okay with boyfriend-girlfriend-leniency rules not applying here,” he told her.
“Hope you’re okay with getting your ass kicked.”
"And if I hear any article of clothing being unzipped, unstrapped, unhooked, or unbuckled, you will lose the body part that it corresponds to. Understand?"
“Broccoli spaceship. Broccoli SPACESHIP!”
"Wait. You mean you don't let anyone know what's happening on the outside?"
"Princess, I do what is necessary to keep order in my town. My only job is to protect my citizens. I do that by providing a luxurious, carefree lifestyle."
"I call shower," they said at the same time.
Eyebrows were raised. A wacky idea took place.
And by the time Uncle Mort figured out that the water had been running for far too long and that he had made the critical error of not installing cameras in the bathroom, it was too late.
“We were just showering," Lex muttered.
"Of course," Uncle Mort said. "Everyone knows how impossible it is to zestfully clean without assistance.”
I particularly mourn the lack of female villains — good, potent female villains. Not ill-tempered women who scheme about landing good men and better shoes (as if we had nothing more interesting to war over).