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Why We Love: The Nature and Chemistry of Romantic Love

Helen Fisher

3.79 · Rating details · 2,239 ratings · 241 reviews

"If you want flashes and particular experiences of romantic love, read novels. If you want to understand this central quality of human nature to its roots, read Why We Love."
—Edward O. Wilson

In Why We Love, renowned anthropologist Helen Fisher offers a new map of the phenomenon of love—from its origins in the brain to the thrilling havoc it creates in our bodies and ...more

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Paperback, 320 pages

Published January 2nd 2005 by Holt Paperbacks (first published January 1st 2004)

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Oct 08, 2008 Elliot johnson rated it did not like it

What a huge letdown! Totally overrated. This subject truly fascinates me, but the author merely builds on the research of others and pads it with quotes from popular literature, poetry and song lyrics, as though that proves a point. If you take out all those quotes it's probably half as thick. It's like she just googled "Love" and included every quote she could find. Reads like a so-so undergrad paper. The only thing the author herself actually brings to the table is the notion that certain ...more

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Dec 18, 2010 Heather rated it really liked it

I love this book. It provided me with all the hidden secretes there is to love. Once finished with this book I no longer feel dumbfounded about mine or other people’s actions when it comes to romance, lust, commitment and passion. I recommend that everyone reads this book because love is a complex system and Helen Fisher does an amazing job in making it clear that love is not something to fear even when everything doesn’t seem to be working out because love is about an individual’s personal ...more

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Jan 07, 2009 Jane rated it really liked it · review of another edition

Shelves: science-nerd

i was going through a particularly challenging time in my life when i read this book. it helped put some of my feelings into perspective. i get emotionally attached to people quite easily and though i know it is not purely physiological...i began to more clearly understand my passionate nature. this book was a comfort when i needed it to be, though i am sure it might be boring to some.

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Dec 10, 2015 Jana rated it it was amazing

Shelves: nonfiction, psychology-philosophy, neuro-science-antroplogy

For a long time I couldn’t understand why anthropologists call us human animals. We are just pretending to be cultivated; there is so much about humankind and civilisation that still functions from the heart of pure basic primate brain and our evolution is nowhere close to the end. My god. This book should be mandatory read. In the last few months I have read enough of anthropology books to finally start connecting different topics into one unified field and what I’ve learned is that we don’t For a long time I couldn’t understand why anthropologists call us human animals. We are just pretending to be cultivated; there is so much about humankind and civilisation that still functions from the heart of pure basic primate brain and our evolution is nowhere close to the end. My god. This book should be mandatory read. In the last few months I have read enough of anthropology books to finally start connecting different topics into one unified field and what I’ve learned is that we don’t know how we became what we became. But nevertheless things that I've learned, things that we are made of - are fucking with my brain because of the magnificent mechanism we live in, which we call our body.

Further reading on spiritualism, neuroscience, psychology, alternative and secret history of humankind will help me greatly to understand some of the forbidden and censured facts about our DNA/mind and the evolution of our physical, emotional, mindful, intuitive and spiritual body.

What I am coming to realise is that we have forgotten so much about us. We are completely on the wrong tracks, we are completely something else from what the system is trying to teach us and break us with. We are absolutely here on Earth for a purpose, what that is, I still don’t know, but we are far from the coincidence and far from the logical cell growth. Anthropology helps me deal with these existential questions since it analyses facts and evidence and evolution. I am starting to realise the bigger picture in which we are supreme and magnificent, on an individual and then on collective level. Our brain in this phase cannot comprehend it instantly because of the central nervous system; it takes time, adaptation and a complete change of standardised systematic education since what I am trying to teach myself now is to learn to unlearn something daily.

It is a frightening process since it is a field so wide and mainstream unknown and there are a lot of information that I have a very hard time digesting, but the more I learn about my body and the secret world I live in, the more I am aware of my expansion into the places where thoughts start disappearing and where I start connecting myself with the higher consciousness. The whole purpose.

But the process is very subjective, individual and based solely on the object’s perception. What I know is that the whole humankind is on the same path, just some learn it sooner, some will within hundred or more years. But we will all learn and know. It is the progress of evolution, if I have to use just this physical/matter word.

All is one, all is one vibration, one big connection and time and space exist only in human parameters. What I didn’t understand until I started reading anthropology is how much general population doesn’t understand the magnificence of our physical brain, DNA and evolution, let alone things which are beyond our 3rd dimension and where we don’t depend on the narrow senses.

Spectacular book, it talks about 3 different brains of love: 1. romantic love 2. lust (passionate love) 3. attachment and how each of these brains are connected with different hormones and how all 3 are intertwined and work separately.

Stunning, stunning material to know why we physically love, why he have sex and why we stay in relationships. I say, physically since H. Fisher can’t explain and is nowhere close explaining the all encompassed fusion that body makes due to this LOVE reaction. Since science can only measure palpable and the rest is left to individual comprehension and higher realms. ...more

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Dec 01, 2018 Kai Crawford rated it it was ok

A mediocre book. I'm not arrogant enough to believe that I'm more intelligent than the average reader just because I already knew around 80% of everything that was revealed in this book. The only explanation for this is if Helen Fisher did not actually reveal anything of use to me. The author would summarize a bunch of other peoples' studies, and then say "well, here's all this evidence but I like this one the most". I'm not a scientist but it seems pretty disingenuous for her to randomly pick ...more

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Feb 10, 2014 Satyaki Mitra rated it it was amazing · review of another edition

Shelves: non-fiction, sociology

In this wonderful book, the author takes a scientific approach to uncover and understand the perplexing and mystifying aspects of romantic love. The author throughout the course of this book uses findings from her experiments to substantiate that love is not just an ordinary feeling or emotion, rather it is a subtle mix between an urge and emotion, i.e. controlled by a curious interplay among some neurotransmitters/stimulants like dopa-mine,nor-epinephrine,serotonin,vassopresin and oxycontin.
The ...more

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Feb 07, 2020 M. Nasiri rated it really liked it

Shelves: self-help-psychology, audiobook, neuroscience, biology, blinkist

Romantic love is the result of chemical processes in the brain.

The origins of romantic love can be traced back 3.5 million years.

As human evolved so did their capacity of romantic love.The appearance of language in 1.8 millions years ago whitin evolutionary development helped expression of love with words.

For thousands of years, people have wondered what the cause of love is. Some believe it is a profoundly spiritual phenomenon, but modern science has proven that it is the result of chemicals in Romantic love is the result of chemical processes in the brain.

The origins of romantic love can be traced back 3.5 million years.

As human evolved so did their capacity of romantic love.The appearance of language in 1.8 millions years ago whitin evolutionary development helped expression of love with words.

For thousands of years, people have wondered what the cause of love is. Some believe it is a profoundly spiritual phenomenon, but modern science has proven that it is the result of chemicals in the brain. In particular, the experience of love is caused by three key neurotransmitters: dopamine, norepinephrine and serotonin.

Dopamine is one of the key neurotransmitters researchers have found to coincide with feelings of romantic love. In fact, it’s one of the most powerful neurotransmitters responsible for your mood in general, influencing attention, motivation and addiction – all important characteristics of being in love.

Dopamine helps explain why love is so addictive. Researchers have shown that when you’re with someone you love, you experience something similar to taking a drug like cocaine. Dopamine floods your brain, filling you with a feeling of bliss that you can’t wait to relive. That’s why people who’re in love feel dependent on and crave their loved ones – just as drug addicts do with their substances.

The next key neurotransmitter involved is norepinephrine, which has effects that resemble dopamine’s.

The feelings of exhilaration and stimulation that accompany love – like butterflies in the stomach or a rapid heartbeat – are caused by the release of norepinephrine. But this neurotransmitter also causes some of love’s unpleasant feelings: it’s often hard to fall and stay asleep when we’re in love, and many of us also experience a loss of appetite – both of which are caused by norepinephrine.

The last of the key love neurotransmitters is serotonin.

Serotonin is responsible for the increased restlessness and the constant thinking about your beloved. But, unlike the other two neurotransmitters, serotonin levels are actually lower when you’re in love. That’s because the level of serotonin is pushed downwards when the levels of the other two chemicals rise. In this case, less is more – the less serotonin, the more you obsess about your loved one.

Ref: Blinkist.com ...more

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Aug 29, 2014 Hannah Nguyen rated it liked it

Shelves: summer-reading

I recently read this book and I thought it was average. This book was about the science of love and why we love. It tells you about the different stages of love and how we deal with it on a mental, emotional, physical level within the body and mind. It was somewhat interesting to read and learn about the author's scientific theory of love. This book was based mainly on a couple of functional MRI studies of people in love. I liked all the details of the chemical images of the brains; however, I ...more

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Jul 06, 2011 FATHOM+HATCH rated it did not like it · review of another edition

Shelves: academia, culture

'Why We Love' fails to answer the very provocative question in poses | Disappointingly, it is more pop and less anthropology; she does not even offer a nuanced understanding of the various cultures she discusses (i.e. Australia, Japan) | The most interesting parts of the book were the poets and thinkers the writer decided to quote, but her writing did a poor job of converting those creative expressions into a strong, informative narrative; it was also surprising that there is only a weak ...more

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Sep 01, 2009 Bridgett rated it really liked it · review of another edition

Not a very long book, but I could relate to a lot of the topics covered (though my love tendencies are a bit unusual and I grow strongly attached to some people I have no sexual interest in). I have "abandonment rage" and love addiction, which are covered in this book. I'm a very obsessive person so I related to the obsessive qualities love can take on.

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Apr 21, 2013 Natasha rated it liked it

it is good to have a scientific exposure to probably the highly acclaimed unscientific emotion

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Oct 12, 2017 Katherine Center rated it it was amazing

Wise, powerful, and kind of revolutionary.

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Apr 21, 2013 Antony rated it liked it

Shelves: psychology

I was led to this book after watching Helen Fisher’s 2006 TED talk entitled “Why we love, why we cheat.” Both the talk and the book are largely based on Fisher’s study, begun in 1996, of students at SUNY Stony Brook campus, in which the brain activities of two groups of volunteers were scanned in an MRI. One group reported to be deeply in love, while the other had recently experienced painful breakups. As one would expect, the book contains more details about the study, not provided in the TED I was led to this book after watching Helen Fisher’s 2006 TED talk entitled “Why we love, why we cheat.” Both the talk and the book are largely based on Fisher’s study, begun in 1996, of students at SUNY Stony Brook campus, in which the brain activities of two groups of volunteers were scanned in an MRI. One group reported to be deeply in love, while the other had recently experienced painful breakups. As one would expect, the book contains more details about the study, not provided in the TED talk, as well as additional facts and ideas.

Unfortunately little of the additional material qualifies as ground-breaking or transformative. Even the additional details about the central study do little to strengthen the author’s arguments. There is plenty of information about the experiment’s setup, but much of it assumes a rather banal character and, while perhaps mildly entertaining, is not revelatory. More troubling, the 144 brain scans mentioned by the author in her TED talk turn out to be derived from merely 14 individuals – 11 women and 3 men, all college students. Although I cannot authoritatively claim that this sample size is too small or too homogenous – much time has elapsed since my college statistics course – yet I cannot avoid a feeling of suspicion that too much is being made of too small a study.

What’s more, the numbers derived from the study are at times less convincing than the author would have us believe, hinting at a confirmation bias. For example, only 56% of the surveyed women agreed with the statement “My emotional state depends on how _____ feels about me”, yet this is given as further evidence of the author’s hypothesis. This is not a solitary example – on multiple occasions percentages in the low sixties, fifties, and even forties are unreservedly advanced to prove the author’s points, which aim at a generalized understanding. Overall the book seems to lack coherence and reads more like a loose collection of research abstracts, ideas, factoids, and quotes – lots of quotes, which are largely lyrical musings about the nature of love.

Throughout the book, the author also shows a strong proclivity for speculation, seemingly mistaking it for theory. A theory by definition must be falsifiable, yet the author commonly uses the word to refer to what is plainly untestable conjecture, which I think is impermissible in a scientist. Unsurprisingly, the chapter most heavenly laden with such “theorizing” is the one on the evolutionary origins of love. Such speculation may be intelligent, intriguing, and entertaining, but it is not strictly scientific.

Perhaps, my biggest gripe with the book though is the conclusion the author draws from her research. A good percentage of “Why We Love” is devoted to convincing us that romantic live is inherently a neurochemical addiction, not at all dissimilar from alcohol, tobacco or methamphetamine addictions either behaviorally or in its effect on the brain’s neurological pathways. In fact, this is the strongest part of the book, and the reason for my three-star rating. The presented evidence is indeed strongly in favor of the hypothesis. So, after spending so much ink proving to us that romantic love displays all the classic characteristics of a chemical addiction, what does the author propose that we do with this information? She proceeds to give us tips on how to manipulate individuals into developing romantic attachments and make romantic love last longer! Pause to consider the incongruity. This is a rational response only if one believes that the rewards of an addiction are worth the costs, and maybe the author performed the mental comparison, but if she did, she never shares these deliberations with us. As a result, the last part of the book seems oddly disconnected from the first, with the gap bridged by undisclosed value assumptions.

To recap, the book contains enough interesting ideas and data to stimulate thinking but fails to weave them into a coherent theoretical framework or a transformative narrative. Aside from monetary motivations, I am hard pressed to find reasons why this should not have been a TEDBook or a Kindle Single. ...more

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Jun 19, 2013 Claire rated it liked it

After coming across Dr Helen Fisher's videos on YouTube, I decided to buy this (and her follow-up book, which I'm reading now), as I thought it was about bloody time someone tried to explain, without whimsy, why we love.
According to her research, love is a drive, not simply a feeling. It stems from a place in the brain as all other drives (so love really is a need, like sleep, hunger, etc), and is basically located in our "reward centre". When love is felt and reciprocated, we feel the reward After coming across Dr Helen Fisher's videos on YouTube, I decided to buy this (and her follow-up book, which I'm reading now), as I thought it was about bloody time someone tried to explain, without whimsy, why we love.
According to her research, love is a drive, not simply a feeling. It stems from a place in the brain as all other drives (so love really is a need, like sleep, hunger, etc), and is basically located in our "reward centre". When love is felt and reciprocated, we feel the reward of loving - fantastic. When it is spurned or unrequited, we literally feel like life isn't worth living (at least for a time), and this is why so many people do crazy things when in love, from losing all integrity to killing someone or themselves. It is a most powerful drug. The effects of love are also likened to the effects of cocaine (and this makes me wonder if this is the real reason people take drugs - trying to fulfill a need they're lacking).
Fisher also speaks of animals in love, although thinks that humans evolved a more complex way of loving to suit their changing way of life. And that it's all to do with the mating game (which somewhat irks me, seeing as I don't feel maternal at all and have never wanted children). Apparently, we love in three different ways and can love more than one person at once. She believes there is lust, so we feel sexually attracted to whoever takes our fancy (in an effort to spread our DNA and reproduce...); romantic love, so we concentrate our efforts on one person at a time (and this is the most exciting and addictive phase of love); and attachment, so we can pair with a long term partner (at least long enough to raise a young child before moving on, so between 2 and 4 years... I think if you're going to get married, you should do it after the 4 year mark). You can experience all three at once, or just one with one person, while feeling the other two for two others! Love is certainly complex. Of course, jealousy will rear its ugly head too, and this is also normal and part of nature's design, which is known as "mate guarding".
The only downside I found with this book was that it didn't really go into too much detail about the brain and its chemicals which drive us. There is some talk on it, of course, and I know she wrote this for the layman, but I think she spent too much time on talking about animals and her theory of the evolution of love.
I'm now reading her next book 'Why Him? Why Her?' about why we choose the person/people we do, and the four major personality types, which she believes help us find someone we click with for relationships. ...more

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Feb 04, 2009 Patrick rated it liked it

Fisher's book Why we Love is a book about evolutionary biology and its mechanism the biological chemicals to explain the underpinings of mating strategies and romanic love in specific. I think she does a great job weaving poems, famous passages, and myths in order to give feeling to the analytical side of evolutionary biology.

Fisher states that lust, romantic love, and attachment came about because of specific need in mating strategies in order for our species to be prolific. She thinks that ...more

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Nov 11, 2013 Aaron rated it it was amazing

Helen Fisher's Why We Love is a tour de force of the science on love. Every applicable social science is brought into play, from sociology to neuroscience, we get a look at why humans behave the way they do when they're enthralled. Helen Fisher is an anthropologist who primarily wants to look at the evolutionary reasons why we love, however, and she does this exceedingly well: we look at love from the "big picture" view of mammals, to that of the homo genus's ascendency to man, to that of the ...more

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Jan 06, 2013 Taylor Kane rated it it was ok

Helen Fisher writes with words that make love sound exciting and wondrous. Her diction and sentence structure is lovely so that can feel the passion for love. Her paragraphs lead into each other and flow, and her inclusion of tiny subtopics within the chapters that juxtapose the genders fits the book's nature. The content of the book, however, lacks greatly. The book was packed with quotes from well known writers. These only somewhat connected to the following topics in the paragraphs. There ...more

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Jul 07, 2019 Steph Mecham rated it it was ok

Shelves: abandoned-or-should-have

a pop anthropology book with outdated research, fucked up notions re: polyamory, completely ignoring trans people, lgb people, nonbinary people, and asexual/aromantic people. Like...seriously? This book reads like a 1950s era psuedoscience book.

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Sep 13, 2018 Israel Desta rated it did not like it

Sooo bad. The author usually contradicts herself, doesnt present well thought out evidence for her claims and also conflates her opinions with facts, anecdotes and even science. And she also quotes a bunch of texts or people without context and completely misunderstsnds the speaker or original author. And that is in addition to her explaining her thoughts on the quotes.

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Dec 06, 2012 Hank rated it did not like it

Shelves: non-fiction

Intriguing and insightful look at the evolutionary advantages of and ways that we chemically process romantic love. While the science could get stale, Fisher gives some poignant literary passages to buoy many of her points and offers a refreshingly optimistic outlook to our lives and loves

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Dec 29, 2017 Jill rated it did not like it

When this book wasn't making me roll my eyes at its obviousness, it was angering me with its logical fallacies, gross generalizations, sexism, and heterosexual. Yes, I hated it.

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Aug 24, 2012 Disha added it

I always wanted to know why and how human beings love. This book sums it up nicely with theories from social psychology, anthropology and biological sciences. Interesting read.

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Sep 15, 2015 Carl Stevens rated it really liked it

Novelists need to know love.

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Aug 18, 2019 Lona rated it did not like it

This book is full of bias, contraries and neurotrash.

If you don't want to read the full review here's a real gem for you: "Gays and lesbians in all cultures also feel romantic passion. [...] I feel sure these men and women carry in their brains exactly the same human wiring and chemistry for romantic love as everybody else." Fisher was also very surprised, that an introverted guy's brain would show a reaction in the fMRT: "Do still waters run deep?" - no, genius, introverts aren't capable of This book is full of bias, contraries and neurotrash.

If you don't want to read the full review here's a real gem for you: "Gays and lesbians in all cultures also feel romantic passion. [...] I feel sure these men and women carry in their brains exactly the same human wiring and chemistry for romantic love as everybody else." Fisher was also very surprised, that an introverted guy's brain would show a reaction in the fMRT: "Do still waters run deep?" - no, genius, introverts aren't capable of feeling love at all.

If that didn't convince you, that Fisher is a real brainiac for finding this out and including it in her book... I don't know. So queer folks and introverts are capable of feeling love like every other human being. What a mind blowing discovery.

You also really could make a drinking game out of it: Every time Fisher starts a sentence with "I think", "It may be", "I guess" or something similar that hints at the fact that she does not really know what she is writing about you have to drink.

The book begins with a chapter that descibes the feeling of being in love with all side effects of New Relationship Energy (Intrusive Thinking, focussed attention...). Fair enough. There are a lot of quotes in this chapter and every following chapter, which was okay for me – but it's really a little too much after a while.

Then there's the chapter „Animal Magnetism“ in which she describes what animal love looks like, which includes some cute stories. Later Fisher writes: „I once believed that these animals feel the same sensations that you and I feel […] I changed my mind.“ Why in the sweet earth would she include the chapter then? At least she mentioned that „some scientists question how „conscious“ these creatures are of their emotions. No one knows.“ [sic] – that's true, in fact it's canon in serious neurology, my dear (I am saying this as a vegan and animal lover).

Then she tries to tell us, that humans, especially men, are naturally born to be jealous and stalk, batter and murder because of love. „Should lawyers, judges and legislators regard those who commit crimes of passion as chemically disabled?“ It doesn't seem like Fisher even researched anything about criminals, psychopaths and murderers and why they do what they do. It's always a mix of genes and environmental factors, like nurture, trauma and so on. Don't listen to people like Fisher, who claim that this is natural behaviour, just raise your children with love, tell them to treat others like they want to be treated, so they won't become maniacs. Even children with the „psychopathy gene“ do not have to become criminals and murderers, if they have a good family home.

There's a lot of problematic stuff icluded. Long debunked whack-a-mole-myths of neurosexism like: "Men are, on average, more skilled at all sorts of mechanical and spatial tasks than women are. Men are problem solvers." [sic] - it's exactly the same kind of dull neurotrash like „Why Men Don't Listen & Women Can't Read Maps“. Men brag and women like to be helpless to attract lovers? Again: Raise all your children with respect. Every girl can learn that she does not have to act helpless to be attractive.

Also the „sex drive“ is debunked. I am a very sex positive person, but there's no such thing as a „sex drive“.

What struck me as most surprising: I found the book recommendation in Cunning Minx's „Eight Things I Wish I'd Known About Polyamory“ - but Fisher seems more anti poly: „Humankind does not share love gracefully.“

Wow. This was the dullest read of the year so far and I'll definitely read no more books that scream „I am neurotrash“. I am sorry for myself for wasting so much time reading this. I still really want to read some serious stuff about love in neurology, so if you have any better recommendations: Please tell me.
...more

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Nov 11, 2017 YHC rated it liked it

I have read a book about similar topic on brain chemistry. This book strengthens the idea. So basically there is 3 kinds of love. Sexual desire, romantic, and attachment. These 3 could exist at the same time toward same person (if you are lucky, but rarely), toward different people at same time (mostly in this case). Fisher said we could actually have strong attachment to our spouses but feel like having romantic feeling with a colleague at office, and totally sexually aroused just by a porn I have read a book about similar topic on brain chemistry. This book strengthens the idea. So basically there is 3 kinds of love. Sexual desire, romantic, and attachment. These 3 could exist at the same time toward same person (if you are lucky, but rarely), toward different people at same time (mostly in this case). Fisher said we could actually have strong attachment to our spouses but feel like having romantic feeling with a colleague at office, and totally sexually aroused just by a porn video or photos.

She actually discussed in the book that does sex lead to romantic feeling and attachment?? On the scientific fMRI result, the activation of sexual desire and other 2 are different spots. That means, a funny phenomenon among women's brain. They thought they could win a man's heart through offering sex, they believe eventually this man would fall in love with her because he adores having sex with her and can not live without her. But the truth is not quite same, it's different chemistry. Therefore women still use their body, trying to show off their body are dummies, because what she offers are not going to get her to real love. Don't complain about assholes come just for sex, because you can only offer this product. You don't want the flies, don't offer honey. Talk about quantum physics with men see how many stay!!

Why humans are monogamy ? why we know we can't love just one for life, we still trap ourselves into this system?? It's all in genes and evolution. in our brains, we have DNA (among most mammals) that releases "vasopressin" into our blood which generates "attachment". Oxytocin and vasopressin are 2 key elements for a person stay in love and grow attachment toward your partner.

My thought: Therefore people with more Oxytocin and vasopressin pass down because of the need of men to attach to their women and share the "taking care of kids". But when we think about nowadays there are still bunch of assholes who abandon their kids and wife then you wonder how come this person doesn't got eliminated in gene pool ( since tracked backward to his ancestors who lacked of Oxytocin and vasopressin would have less chance to got survival rate on their kids. Hard for a woman to take care of kids all alone without the protection from her men. ) My conclusion is the mothers must be strong and tough enough to survive and help pass down this heartless gene. Now the assholes prosper because women are more equal and stronger, they can raise the kids without men.

After all, we are just like machines with chemical reactions.

https://loversschool.wordpress.com/20... ...more

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Jun 04, 2018 Karan Taneja rated it really liked it

I found the book cheerful (sometimes poetry was too much though!), easy-to-understand, and scientifically sound. The author discusses the common 'symptoms' i.e. the effect of love on the mind, the brain, and the body after which she focuses on evidence of love found in various (actually, a lot of) animals. The author also gives a detailed discussion of different hormonal changes and brain activity when one experiences love. One of her main ideas is the distinction between lust, romance and ...more

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Mar 03, 2018 Mustafa Jamal rated it really liked it

I find this book a very good scientific introduction to the subject "Romantic Love".
It's very informative as it goes through explaining the basic traits and frequent issues of this mysterious phenomenon. I could tell from the simplicity in which the content is written that the author had put a great deal of experience and dedication to it.
I learned about some of the mechanisms by which our brain works during loving. I was also slightly surprised about some of the Darwinian interpretations of ...more

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Dec 14, 2018 Joshua Witham rated it really liked it

Engrossing and well-written, but ultimately disappointing. Fisher spends the first 80% or so of the book brilliantly dissecting the fragility and volatility of romantic passion, then the last 20% inexplicably advocating for its continued place of reverence in modern culture - while offering up the same tired mechanisms with which relationship therapists have (unsuccessfully) sought to prop up the romantic ideal for decades now. Despite delving into the realm of sociology towards the end of the ...more

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Mar 20, 2019 Tom Roth rated it liked it

Shelves: animal-behaviour, science, brain

I liked this book. Especially the parts about the brain circuit for romantic love and the role of dopamine & norepinephrine were very intersting to read. I also had special interest in the parallels between human love and animal love that Fisher described. However, there is too much "quotes" from literature and poems inbetween the scientific information. It really started to annoy me towards the end of the book.

Also, quite a bit of the book seems to be speculative. Fisher wants to apply her ...more

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Feb 07, 2020 Rehmat rated it really liked it

The author who is recognized authority on the subject of the love has examined scientifically the process of love in brain and how brain secrets various harmones in different feelings and stages of love. Her viewpoint sounds satisfactory as men fall in love sooner to apparant beauty than the women whose falling in love takes longer time to not only see smartness but also how much men is successful to ensure their financial and economic protection.

Romantic love as we know it has developed ...more

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Helen Fisher

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Helen E. Fisher is an anthropology professor and human behavior researcher at the Rutgers University and is one of the major researchers in the field of romantic interpersonal attraction.Prior to becoming a research professor at Rutgers University, she was a research associate at the American Museum of Natural History in New York City.

By many accounts, Fisher is considered the world’s leading ...more