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The New New Rules: A Funny Look At How Everybody But Me Has Their Head Up Their Ass

3.78  ·  Rating details ·  3,298 Ratings  ·  388 Reviews

From bestselling author and host of HBO's Real Time, Bill Maher's new book of political riffs serves up a savagely funny set of rules for preserving sanity in an insane world

A follow-up to the New York Times bestselling The New Rules, The New New Rules delivers a series of hilarious, intelligent rants on everything from same-sex marriage to healthcare, from Republican a

Kindle Edition, 368 pages
Published November 14th 2011 (first published January 1st 2011)
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Oct 08, 2011 rated it liked it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: blog
A collection of "New Rules" (brief and sarcastic commentaries on the idiocy of pop culture and the oxygen thieves who drive it) and essays from his closing segment on HBO's Real Time with Bill Maher, The New New Rules has some obscenely hysterical and politically incorrect moments, as well as enough Sarah Palin slams to keep me smiling for a week. I give Maher credit for doing exactly what a lot of politicians should be doing right now: sticking to his convictions and calling things as he sees t ...more
Robin  The Mockingjay Lives!
I've always been a big fan of Bill Maher's HBO show: Real Time with Bill Maher and so reading this was inevitable for me. This book contains some of Bill's New Rules that didn't make it onto his show and others were some of his favorites. There were some extended New Rules in each section, and those tended to be my favorites.

Even though Bill Maher is a liberal, he isn't above admitting liberal faults. & so even though I don't consider myself a liberal, I understand and for the most part agre
Mar 10, 2017 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
If you love New Rules segment on Real Time with Bill Maher, you will love this book. The audio book is narrated by Bill Maher which is quite hilarious! Some new rules left me laughing so hard my sides hurt.
Tim Niland
Nov 26, 2011 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: 2011-reads
Comedian and commentator Bill Maher takes snippets from the commentaries from his HBO program and adds them to short vignettes about life in the modern United States and comes up with a very funny and occasionally thought provoking book. In the New Rules segment at the end of each television program, he adds humorous editorials on popular culture and American politics, and many of the more recent ones are included here. The order is alphabetical by topic rather than chronological by date, which ...more
I decided to make mini fruit skewers for the office potluck tomorrow, so, being the multi-tasker that I am, I decided to listen to an audiobook while I shoved sharp sticks through unsuspecting and defenseless fruit pieces. It was kind of an apt activity, listening to this particular audiobook, because there was pretty much nobody that Bill skipped taking a jab at.

Yeah, yeah... It's bedtime. Whatever, Grammar Cat.

Anyway, Bill Maher is a funny, irreverent fucking guy. I don't agree with everythi
May 16, 2012 rated it did not like it  ·  review of another edition
I thought Bill Maher was funny. I liked POLITICALLY INCORRECT and RELIGULOUS. So I downloaded this audiobook from my library. I listened to about 30 minutes of it and died of boredom.

Bill Maher's circa-2004 jokes (Lindsay Lohan is a drunk coke-head, Britney Spears is a slutty trampy hookery whore, Andy Dick is a disgusting spaz, George W. Bush is a man-child, etc) are just are so predictable and unfunny that you kinda feel sorry for the guy. The rest just come across as an old man shaking his ca
Nov 16, 2011 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
I love this guy. He is so funny.
Dec 04, 2011 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
You have to say one thing for Bill Maher: the man speaks his mind and makes no apologies for doing so.

If you're not familiar with the sometimes-caustic, liberal host of HBO's Real Time, then you most likely picked up this book by mistake. I used to watch Maher when his show was still on "regular" television, before he spoke up about something, got everyone's panties in a twist, and had to go back to HBO. Yes, that should tell you something right there: he used to be on cable, moved to late-nigh
Jul 24, 2012 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
It's Bill Maher, so expect lots of crass jokes about porn, masturbation, marriage, and of course the incisive comments about religion and politics. I haven't listened to the Real Time podcast for nearly a year now due to my iPod dying (and not buying another one) so this was a welcome fix. These "new rules" extend back to 2005, some were not used for the show, but many were familiar. The revisits of some of his longer commentaries at the end of the episode had me nodding my head all over again. ...more
Paul Dinger
Dec 04, 2011 rated it did not like it  ·  review of another edition
I love the show Real Time with Bill Maher. I have watched the show since it started. However, I have found that in the last few years a certian angry cyncism has crept in. This cyncism is best exemplified by the title, "How Everyone but me has their head up their ass". The trap of sarcasm is that while it is funny to poke your noses at everyone, it isn't when you never shine that light on yourself. The first New Rules had a leavening of self awareness to it, this book doesn't. It is simply a tir ...more
Jan 11, 2012 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Recommends it for: Tea Baggers & bathroom readers
Recommended to Velma by: borrowed from Zach
I'm not sure Maher likes women much, and he's a bit fixated on his junk, but this chinese-food of humor (you know: yummy, but you're hungry again an hour after ingesting) is entertaining as all get-out, and I'd totally be Tweeting these piths if I didn't think I'd receive a cease-and-desist from Maher's stable of attorneys.

Like it's predecessor, The New Rules, this one is structured as a set of Maher's humorous observations about modern life. This smart, acidic, and hilariously off-color collec
Dec 19, 2011 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
It case it isn't really obvious, if you don't like politically incorrect humor then you should not read this book. The book is a combination of short "new rules," jokes, some new and some that have appeared on Real Time, and the longer essays (a page and a half or so) that Bill uses to close the show at the end of the New Rules segment each week. I always thought the longer segments were the best part of the show, and seeing them here reinforces that. The short New Rules are sometimes laugh-out- ...more
Jan 02, 2012 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Some of the rules will make you think. Others will make your blood boil. The vast majority of them will make you laugh.

Warning: do not read too many passages at once or you'll risk wetting your pants.

Highly recommended for left leaning liberals.
Jan 25, 2014 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
If you're a fan of Bill Maher, you'll enjoy new, new rules anecdotes. 9 of 10 stars
Jan 09, 2013 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
I really enjoyed this very funny book.
Janice Hurley
May 06, 2013 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
love the book.
Jan 02, 2014 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Even though we don't always see eye to eye on every topic, I still appreciate the candor and humor he employs while making his point.
Jan 17, 2012 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Recommends it for: Matt
Shelves: 2012
Bill Mahr is not afraid to say the politically incorrect things we think! Loved the book for it's smartass humor and political/social commentary.
Jul 30, 2017 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Listened to both of his books while working today. If you like the show, you'll like these. If you can't stand Maher...stay away.

I don't agree with everything he says and I think his smug levels reach dangerous highs, but I'm always for someone who will speak their mind despite the consequences.

I'll always choose the show over the books because I appreciate the mix of guests on his panels, but these were good substitutions.
Mar 23, 2017 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
This one was so funny that although I borrowed it from the library, I'm going to buy myself a copy. It even made me forget for a couple of hours that someone filed a phony tax return with the IRS this year, using my name. Don't miss this one. It came out a few years ago now, but Maher accurately forecasts all the problems we are having now with the Real Estate Broker In Chief.
Nov 15, 2011 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
It would be kind of stupid for me to rate this book seriously because I was always going to love it. So instead, enjoy a few of my Top Ten New New Rules, in no particular order(#5 is my favorite):

1)If you're an adult and you go to the Justin Bieber movie by yourslef and you're not a film critic, you have to reigster as a sex offender.

2)Bristol and Levi have to get back together. Come on, you two. You made the baby, fell out of love, and now it's act three of every horrible Katherine Heigl movie
Steven Clinton
Feb 27, 2017 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Exceptional book full of Bill's hilarious jokes including jokes about politics. I would reccomend to any mature reader who wants to laugh at the chaos of this book
Andrew Krafick-Wittman
New Rule: Now that I have to sit and write a book report about Bill Maher's "New, New Rules" I think someone should write the report on why I dropped out of high school

Bill Maher has a funny look at the world around us. Maher is a comedian and hosts a political talk show called "Real Time: Bill Maher" On HBO. He is multi nominated for the Primetime Emmy award and Won the Primetime Emmy award in 2013. Maher is known for his controversial views and not being afraid to bring reality to topics many
Feb 23, 2017 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
It was funny and true.
Jan 19, 2012 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Recommends it for: Maher fans, people who like commentary on current affairs
Mr. Maher is definitely in top shape with this book. Now, a few out there may say he is too cynical, but let us be honest: the man says what needs to be said regardless of who gets offended. If as a society, we took a lot of his advice, things would probably be a lot better, but that would require people to get off their couches, get the big sticks out of their asses, and actually do something. At the end of the day, much of this is common sense, or it would seem common sense if people still had ...more
Janet Morris
Aug 28, 2013 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Recommends it for: liberals and people who just need to laugh
If you've ever watched Real Time with Bill Maher, then you are probably familiar with Bill Maher's segment toward the end of each show called New Rules. This book is a collection of New Rules, including both the short ones and some of the longer comedic essays.

Of course, with all things Bill Maher, you have to expect the politically charged brand of humor that he is quite famous for. This book does not disappoint. It is filled with that irreverent, yet informed style that he has become so famou
Joel Gomes
Jul 07, 2012 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: reviewed
Real Time with Bill Maher and its ending segment New Rules would not be known in Portugal were it not for YouTube and file-sharing. Yes, I know file-sharing is illegal. The same way embezzling, deceiving and outright stealing is illegal. Yet, we see Governments performing such acts, so who's to blame? This is a rhetorical question - I don't really care who's to blame on this issue, as long as that someone isn't me.

What I really want to mention is the intelligence and the wit behind many of these
Kayla Cagan
Feb 24, 2012 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
If you are a Bill Maher fan or follower, you will dig this collection of his "New Rules." The book is written by Mr. Maher and his comedy writers, and it's true to the voice he shares in his HBO show, REAL TIME WITH BILL MAHER.

His jokes attack all of the weird things going on in our global culture these days, and he doesn't comment solely on politics. When he does get political, he's at his best. He's sharp and insightful, taking a razor to the fatty politics that leave so much of us discontent
Feb 21, 2012 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: library
The brief new rules are fun and many are very clever. However, what Maher has to say in the short essays (collected from the end of his shows) should get a broader audience. His views on income inequality, the importance of parenting to education, and the absence of any real political left may not be shared by all but will probably not offend because no one is talking about them in any real and meaningful way -- but we should.

This book will likely be viewed from afar as simply a comedian making
Apr 20, 2012 rated it liked it  ·  review of another edition
I really underestimated what Bill personally brings to New Rules. Watching him deliver these lines--especially the editorials--on HBO is wayyyyy funnier than reading this book, at least for me.

There was a time when he seemed to get just a little too smug and a little too self-satisfied; it made me wince. And he really does need to retire the lame arts and crafts portion of his show. But I never stopped watching him. When times got very bleak--seriously, Bush twice? Not to mention present circums
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William Maher, Jr., is an American comedian, actor, writer, and producer. He hosted the late-night television talk show Politically Incorrect on Comedy Central and ABC, and is currently the host of Real Time with Bill Maher on HBO. On June 1, 2006, he also began hosting an Internet-exclusive talk show on entitled Amazon Fishbowl.

Maher is known for his political satire and sociopolitical
More about Bill Maher...

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“I find that the world is changing much, much faster than I can even bitch about it.” 34 likes
“New Rule: If you can force a woman to look at a sonogram—to see what will happen if she has an abortion—you also have to let her see a crying baby, a bratty five-year-old, and a surly teenager to see what will happen if she doesn’t. And you have to tell her it costs $204,000 to raise it until it turns eighteen, in 2028, where it will be a slave to the Chinese, in a radioactive world with no animals, fish, or plants.” 23 likes
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