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Now You're Speaking My Language: Honest Communication and Deeper Intimacy for a Stronger Marriage
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Now You're Speaking My Language: Honest Communication and Deeper Intimacy for a Stronger Marriage

3.99  ·  Rating details ·  472 ratings  ·  71 reviews
Now You're Speaking My Language is the newest paperback release from The New York Times best-selling author of The Five Love Languages. In this conversion of the Gold Medallion Award-winning Covenant Marriage, Chapman encourages spouses to exhibit loyalty, forgiveness, empathy, and commitment to resolving conflict in order to foster spiritual growth. Readers will learn ...more
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Published July 1st 2007 by B&H Publishing Group (first published June 1st 2007)
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Average rating 3.99  · 
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Mark
Oct 30, 2013 rated it it was ok  ·  review of another edition
Much helpful advice, but marred by a few significant and dangerous flaws.

In Now You're Speaking My Language, when Gary Chapman writes about ways couples can improve their communications skills, there is much helpful and useful advice. And this forms the bulk of the book. However, there is one significant issue (and a few smaller ones) that I came away with that I find troublesome and even dangerous.

Chapman's thesis revolves around the concept of covenant marriage. This is in contrast to a
...more
Sojourner
Dec 06, 2013 rated it it was amazing
Shelves: reviews
Now You're Speaking My Language: Honest Communication and Deeper Intimacy for a Stronger Marriage by Gary Chapman is an extraordinary book that offers valuable tips to husbands and wives on how to better communicate. Communication is the key to building better and healthier relationship.

The book is not meant for husbands and wives alone. It is a book that is meant to help everyone in any type of relationship. If you are longing for a deeper, more intimate and committed relationship at any level,
...more
Tiffany Tubville
Mar 01, 2019 rated it it was amazing
Excellent book that encourages healthy communication in a marriage; the five levels of communication, how to deal with defensiveness and emotional hot-spots, and to use “I” and not “You” statements. Also how to make time together a priority and to set goals for the marriage for nurturing growth in all areas of intimacy: emotional, intellectual, sexual, and spiritual.
R.K. Goff
Apr 02, 2008 rated it really liked it
It wasn't fabulously written or a cure-all for everything. Definately a book aim specially for Christians. I did disagree with a few (very few) points, but for the most part I really enjoyed it.

The few simple rules it provided are easy, and have high impact for helping communication. I also have to admit, the fact that it stress and explains the concept of full intamacy in marriage makes it more powerful. Sometimes I think we always forget marriage is supposed to be that kind of connection, and
...more
Glory Talbott
May 20, 2019 rated it really liked it
Overall I really found this book to be helpful. Mr Chapman brought up many ways of communication that I had not known to that depth, even though I have been married for over 18 years. I like that he talked about letting the spouse safely share all things even though you may disagree with your spouse's opinions. It was very well written and gives the couple some things to improve on. Even if their marriage is a good marriage, it can become even better! I did have a little issue with page 204 as I ...more
Yoni Esterman
Nov 17, 2019 rated it really liked it
This book is a Christian book. This is an essential disclaimer to address from the beginning. While other books by Gary Chapman may have a little “religion” within the works, such as “The Five Love Languages,” this book is explicitly Christian and is not for a non-Christian audience. Chapman’s work relies heavily on Christian theology, so even in areas that are not direct citations from the Christian Bible, there are overt connections to Christianity in mode and thought.

This book starts where
...more
Janka H.
Dec 25, 2019 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
I always find Mr Chapman being an author worth reading - and this book has not failed my expectations. It touches a certain amounts of issues that does not work (or could work better) within the Christian marriage, and how to help to solve these issues. The main area of focus within the book is communication as a road to better intimacy within marriage. His advice is very sound and quite wise and mature, even if some can find the examples used and the stereotypes described being quite - well, ...more
Robbie
Feb 14, 2017 rated it really liked it
Gary Chapman has written a self-help book for those who are married, be it newlyweds or long time married couples.

Now You’re Speaking My Language focuses primarily on communication and intimacy, with many practical applications and proactive steps for enhancing and/or improving your marriage. Each chapter includes a section of Questions to Ponder, and We Do – a section for couples to do together.

The book is written from a Christian viewpoint and has numerous applicable lessons and Biblical
...more
Adelle
May 31, 2018 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
This was an amazing follow-up book after reading The Five Love Languages! With the base of learning being the love languages, Chapman expounds on those principles to further increase a strong marriage together using gospel teachings. While some chapters were familiar knowledge for me, he still gave good, new insights. And other chapter concepts I had never thought of utilizing before, so it was a book that helped to broaden my creativity in my marriage. I love having this wonderful set of tools ...more
Brooke
Jan 08, 2018 rated it really liked it
The book lives up to its promise to dig into communication and intimacy, two commonly tough areas for many couples. The stories brought the book to life... they were relatable. I’ve read a lot of marriage books, so parts of this felt like repeat, but I was surprised at how many “aha” moments I had regardless. Good read based on Biblical principles for those married or hoping to get married!
Nathan Seale
Jul 26, 2017 rated it really liked it
A biblical treatise on the importance of honest communication and finding deeper intimacy in a marriage relationship. This book provides practical steps/activities at the end of each chapter to accomplish the goals of the chapter.
Lisa
Mar 07, 2018 rated it it was amazing
Wow! I think every Christian couple should read this book. It was truly enlightening to me in so many ways. It got a little dry in some places, and at times he got a little tangential, but the insights were well, well worth the extra words!
Bailey
Aug 15, 2019 rated it did not like it
I've read a. lot. of marriage books at this point (partially because of my major, partially for fun) and this added nothing new. He mixed in bible verses every chance he got which was confusing and not too fun to read. I didn't think this added anything to the marriage book line up.
Audrey Chapman
Aug 03, 2018 rated it it was amazing
I read and enjoyed Chapman's Five Love Languages. This book takes that information to the next level in your marriage. He covers several different areas of your relationship with your significant other to connect on a more intimate level. There are practical and simple steps to follow.
jim dakis
Jul 23, 2018 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Best book on relationships to date.

Gary Chapman repeats his honest and Scriptural approach to guiding couples to having more fulfilling relationships. This is a must read whether your relationship is in prime condition or barely hanging on.
Sara-Lyn Duque
Jan 01, 2018 rated it it was amazing
I read this book a few years ago and it is one of the best books Ive read for married people. I should really read it again. I remember whipping right through it!
Rita Bodine
Christian Marriage

This book had some great points/ideas to better communicate in marriage. Was very biblical which I didn't expect after reading Love Language books.
Emily Ross
Jun 22, 2017 rated it really liked it
This book is a good basic manual on how to communicate for married couples. It breaks down how to identify and trouble shoot communication issues as well.
Dionna Johnson
Aug 23, 2017 rated it liked it
This is the marriage follow up to the love languages. This had some very good tips on how to have better communication with your spouse.
Chelsea
Jul 24, 2018 rated it it was amazing
I have read this twice already but have picked it up again. I find it so helpful.
Laura Langley
Jun 21, 2014 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Gary Chapman's book Now You're Speaking My Language focuses on communication, which he claims is the most fundamental for building marital intimacy. Filled with practical principles and loads of activities for developing intimacy, this book will help grow the marriages of readers who are committed to applying the book's ideas to everyday life.

For me, one of the most practical bits of advice in the Now You're Speaking My Language comes early on. Chapman encourages couples to practice a daily
...more
Anino
***ARC generously supplied by the publisher and Netgalley.com in exchange for an honest review***


With about 50% of marriages (both Christian & Secular) ending in divorce, one has to ask themselves “what’s the common denominator in this equation?” A common denominator to be considered is the lack of preparation for a covenant relationship that was meant to last for a lifetime. Translation? No pre-marital counseling or the lack thereof can place a new or embattled marriage relationship at risk
...more
Joe McFadden
Apr 11, 2016 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
https://joemcfadden.org/2016/05/20/no...

Gary Chapman explains the importance and dynamics of communication in healthy marriages. Now You’re Speaking My Language is full of simple, yet profound advice useful to couples at every level of their marriage journey. Whether you are struggling in your marriage or feel completely satisfied, newly married or have been married for years, this book is completely worth your time and energy to invest in your relationship. Many couples will benefit from the
...more
Adrienna
It is not easy to listen to Gary Chapman's voice via audiobook. I have fallen asleep and unsure how much I missed when I dozed off.

So far, this is the first book he did not reiterate from his famous and best-selling book: Five Love Languages, and use these passages or examples in his marriage-relationship one.

I carefully listened to the section on "covenant" vs. "contractual" marriages, which made me realize that conditional relationships typically stems from the contractual marriage type of
...more
VBergen
Jan 24, 2016 rated it liked it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: relationship
This book has good advices, but it has been one of the most annoying Chapman's book I have read so far. It has lots of Bible verses and god this-god that-Jesus this and that, which, as an atheist, result tiring to read. Yet, I managed to read the book until the end because the counseling seems rational and useful.

Some of the most upsetting phrases in this book:
-"Sometimes our difficulty in seeking to please our spouse is rooted in the fact that we have been hurt, wronged, or abused by him or
...more
Cai
Gary Chapman, the author behind The Five Love Languages has continued to delve into the field of relationships and brought us a guide on how to communicate with our partners. Filled with key aspects and techniques for all couples out there.
This book was very factual and very practical. Chapman did not make things complicated. He was very simplistic in his explanations making it an easy read. I ended up realizing that the biggest problem in my own personal relationship was our communication was
...more
Beth Erin
Mar 28, 2016 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
http://www.faithfullybookish.com/revi...
Gary Chapman explains the importance and intricacies of communication in healthy marriages. Now You're Speaking My Language is full of simple, yet profound advice useful to couples at every level of marital bliss. Whether you are struggling in your marriage or feel completely satisfied, this title is completely worth the time and energy to invest in your relationship.
Much like Chapman's "5 Love Languages," the concepts discussed in this book articulated
...more
Ginni
Dec 22, 2015 rated it really liked it
Successful Christian books tend to end up with lots of spin-offs that are guaranteed to sell well without requiring much authorial effort or new content creation. (I'm looking at you, The Prayer of Jabez for Women/Graduates/Teens/Pomeranians!) Fortunately, Now You're Speaking My Language is only a little bit related to Gary Chapman's bestseller The Five Love Languages.

Anyone who's ever talked to a counselor or attended a mandatory communications training session at work will recognize at least
...more
Carol
Jul 18, 2010 rated it liked it
I must admit that I didn't finish this book, but what I read looked like it was going to be good. I just did my usual with the marriage books.... I'm always reading along and realize that this can help if just one of us reads the help book, but I get really frustrated thinking about how much better it could be if I could get my husband to also read the books about how to communicate or how to make our marriage better.....and usually I just plow through and finish, but this time I just took it ...more
Jessica
Jan 30, 2016 rated it it was amazing
Mr. Gary Chapman always says exactly what you need to hear in a way that rocks your core, and this book is no different! I believe that marriage doesn't get good, you have to work to make it good. And the biggest difficulty in marriage is communication. In this book, Gary Chapman teaches you what the bible says about husband and wife communication, and what a huge role intimacy between husband and wife plays in your marriage. I would suggest reading this to all married couples and even to some ...more
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Married more than 45 years to Karolyn, Dr. Gary Chapman is just the man to turn to for help on improving or healing our most important relationships. His own life experiences, plus over forty years of pastoring and marriage counseling, led him to publish his first book in the Love Language series, The 5 Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate. Millions of readers credit ...more
“Name one event in your marriage you wish you could revisit. Why? Think of two couples—one recently married, one married more than thirty years—whose company you genuinely enjoy. What do you admire about them? Do you long for the playfulness of the younger couple? Do you love the dignity the older couple extends to each other? What makes each couple such enjoyable company? If you could peer into the hours you are not together, what do you wish you knew about your spouse? Name one thing you will do this week to encourage your spouse.” 0 likes
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