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The Five Keys to Mindful Communication: Using Deep Listening and Mindful Speech to Strengthen Relationships, Heal Conflicts, and Accomplish Your Goals
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The Five Keys to Mindful Communication: Using Deep Listening and Mindful Speech to Strengthen Relationships, Heal Conflicts, and Accomplish Your Goals

3.64  ·  Rating details ·  751 ratings  ·  71 reviews
Good communication is essential to any healthy relationship, whether it’s between spouses, family members, friends, or co-workers, and mindfulness—the practice of nonjudgmental awareness—can help us communicate more effectively and meaningfully with others in our personal and professional lives. Here, Susan Chapman, a psychotherapist and long-time Buddhist practitioner, ex ...more
Paperback, 224 pages
Published April 10th 2012 by Shambhala
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Average rating 3.64  · 
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 ·  751 ratings  ·  71 reviews

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Start your review of The Five Keys to Mindful Communication: Using Deep Listening and Mindful Speech to Strengthen Relationships, Heal Conflicts, and Accomplish Your Goals
Morgan Blackledge
Jun 06, 2015 rated it really liked it
I love to write ridiculously long Goodreads reviews. But I'm guessing most people don't love to read them. So here's my nutshell summary of the book.

The keys to Mindful Communication are: be embodied, be present, be accepting, be kind, be encouraging, pause, listen deeply, speak your authentically warm, playful truth and just say YES to what emerges.

If that's enough than feel free to skip the rest.

But if you're thirsty for more, than by all means, slake thy thirst at the aforementioned font of
Jones Patrick
May 20, 2015 rated it it was amazing
The essential thought of this book is that if a man lives from a "we-first" point of view instead of a "me-first" perspective, both that individual and those that he or she come into contact with will have the advantage.

As indicated by Chapman, the best approach to mindful communication is the thing that she calls the 'five key components,' which are silence, mirroring, encouraging, discerning, and responding. These abilities empower us to listen all the more deeply, to ourselves and to others.

Dec 09, 2013 rated it really liked it
Review to come. I thought this was a very useful examination of using mindfulness practices to have deeper understanding and resonance among our conversations with other people. The author advocates a "we-first" approach to interpersonal communication practices, rather than what the author calls a "me-first" approach that's dominant in our society. There's quite a bit of useful information to take from this work, so I hope I can expound upon it in my upcoming review. ...more
Feb 13, 2016 rated it it was ok
This book explores various relationship issues through heavy use of metaphor. Toxic situations, red-yellow-green light patterns, open mind and open heart, unconditional friendliness, we first vs me first. I found the recommendations interesting, but not very insightful. Most of the situations seem fairly common and I agree with the premise that people who are focused on their own benefits over others tend to be the source of problems. Most of the lessons in this book are things we learned in Kin ...more
Feb 13, 2021 rated it it was amazing
Shelves: nonfiction
Such a good book! I love the terminology the author uses (red, yellow, and green light communication) as well as the prompts and meditations she gives to help the reader recognize and use the concepts of the book. I’m not really sure why I keep getting these types of thought provoking books on audio because again, having a physical copy of this would be helpful. It was a quick read and not too academic so it was very accessible. I think anyone in a committed relationship (including friendships!) ...more
Linda Rebekah
Dec 16, 2021 rated it it was amazing
Good read. I enjoyed reading this book, I read it once through and will read it again and do the journal entry exercises. Concepts are explained well, personally when it comes to the meditation part, i will replace that with prayer. I really enjoyed reading about how to develop yourself first, then how to respond, because a lot of book come from the point of view that you are the one that is right and how to persuade others to your point of view, this book shows you how to be self-less in a bene ...more
Oct 18, 2017 rated it really liked it
Excellent read from a European based family and marriage expert. Chapman takes the ideas of conversation beyond the family unit by expanding and applying the communication techniques to encompass needs of a much broader audience. Considering a woeful lack of heart to heart conversations in our digital content driven culture, I found the book to be a wonderful reminder to slow down and simply talk.
• Mindful Presence (awake body, tender heart, open mind)
• Mindful Listening (encouragement)
• Mind
Jul 11, 2021 rated it liked it  ·  review of another edition
3.5 stars. I kind of regret listening to this vs reading it. Books in the personal development or self help realm I much prefer to read so I can highlight and take notes where audiobooks I listen to in the car mostly or when I’m doing other tasks like cleaning so I’m not 100% engaged in them.
Apr 04, 2012 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Five Keys of Mindful Communications by Susuan Gillis Chapman

Five Keys of Mindful Communications by Susan Gillis Chapman is an important must read book for everyone!
In the Ms. Chapman's book Five Keys of Mindful Communications she shares with readers impressive strategies that flips the script on the current daily methods of communication people use with the exception being therapists. Five Keys of Mindful Communications illustrates the importance of being a deep listener and hearing what the ind
Kayla Noto
Oct 31, 2020 rated it liked it
Shelves: 2020, better-self
It was pretty good!
I took notes throughout the book, so there was definitely some great tips I got from this book.

A huge insight I received:
I am someone that tries to be perfect. I often am shocked when others make decisions that are seemingly “wrong.” I have realized I always am shocked to find that others are loved even through their mistakes. From this book, I’ve learned that this stems from me believing I am “unforgivable” therefore, I strive to make no mistakes. Realizing this has opened my
Jerry Yoakum
Oct 21, 2019 rated it did not like it
The few times the author resorts to classifying her clients as having specific psychological disorders comes across as character assassination. It seems to be an appeal to her own authority and a way to assert that she is better than them.

A lot of the language used is not natural. Meaning that people would not talk this way with any random group without concern of being labeled as odd. Ms. Chapman is trying to stress paying attention to emotions to guide some basic ways of responding to situatio
Suzanne Crane
Sep 08, 2016 rated it really liked it
This book really helped me understand the next step in my personal & professional growth. It came at just the right time, too! I have numerous gifts, but two things that have been holding me back are: 1. distracted listening (letting my mind fill with my own ideas rather than properly processing what's happening right in front of me first) and 2. letting my overactive mind build a story around something that may or may not be truth & then treating it as the truth (perception vs reality). I think ...more
Apr 16, 2022 rated it it was amazing
I’m so glad I read this book. One of the most interesting and helpful non-fiction books I’ve read. I had to get myself a hard copy. The core tenant of mindful presence being available to us when we have an awake body, open mind and tender heart resonates deeply
Dec 21, 2016 rated it it was ok
good insights and I'm glad I read it but I wouldn't call it a great read. ...more
Jan 25, 2020 rated it really liked it
I want to quickly tell the world that there is a real on line spell caster that is powerful and genuine, His name is Dr ozalogbo He helped me recently to reunite my relationship with my husband who left me, When i contacted Dr ozalogbo he cast a love spell for me, and my husband who said he doesn't have anything to do with me again called me and started begging me to come back. he is back now with so much love and care. today i am glad to let you all know that this spell caster have the powers t ...more
Noel Alex
The green, yellow and red light concept was difficult at first but eventually it became clear and easy to understand.

I think this my first book which I read about communication and I have to honestly say, it brought a new light in my life on how I handle communication.
I should have read this book 15 years ago.

My favorite chapters was Gentleness and Unconditional Friendliness. These two chapters had so much example on how to break down communication and also offer some very good advises on how to
Jan 24, 2022 rated it it was amazing
I actually loved this book! I need to purchase a paper copy so I can highlight all of the amazing thoughts and quotes I want to keep forever. Seriously, if you have undergone any type of relationship (with or without trauma), this book helps to put your patterns and behaviors into perspective, while gently guiding you through new perspectives. It's a keeper! ...more
Dani Morrow
May 01, 2022 rated it it was ok
Lol. For a book about mindful communication, I did a terrible job of mindfully listening. I think this book was probably better than 2 stars. However, it wasn’t as engaging to listen to, so I don’t know that I fully appreciated what it had to offer. I did come away with some tidbits that I am sure I will remember though, so it wasn’t a total waste of ear-time.
Mar 01, 2018 rated it really liked it
Interesting application of mindfulness and meditation to communication and the relationships we have both with ourselves and others. The shift from a me-first mentality to we-first has powerful implications.
Ronald J. Pauleus
The keys presented are really good and the research is eye opening. It seems Buddhist ideology influences the thinking of the author because it shows in this book.

The material is practical and can be seen and incorporated into everyday life.

“We must go from ‘Me’ first to ‘We’ first.”
Summer Lee
Apr 10, 2021 rated it it was amazing
This book came at a time of self-discovery for me and was the perfect book for that moment. Susan Chapman does a great job of explaining Green Light, Yellow Light, and Red Light signals.
I feel more confident in being able to assess my signals and respond accordingly.
Chirag Kandiyal
Dec 01, 2021 rated it liked it
Too abstract for my taste, especially when I listened to it right after 'How to talk to anyone'. This book is 95% about mindfulness and maybe 5% about communication. It should be titled 'Deepdive into mindfulness'. ...more
J. Alston
Feb 10, 2022 rated it it was amazing
I really enjoyed this. So many times I found myself nodding along with the advice she was giving, and once I even wrote something down so I could use it later with my own clients. I hope I can find a hard copy of this book, I'd love to be able to revisit so much of the advice in here later on. ...more
Aug 11, 2022 rated it it was ok
I had a hard time getting through this book. I felt like the analogies were overused and a bit confusing. There was good information throughout the book, I guess the delivery of it just did not click with me.
Camia Young
Jan 19, 2018 rated it it was amazing
Shelves: brain-books
This book took what had been largely subconscious and allowed me to start to notice my own communication patterns. I look forward to practicing what I learned in this accessible book.
Özden Yiğit
Jun 28, 2019 rated it liked it
It is not easy to read and follow the topics. The same concepts repeat too much.
Melisa Ibarra
Dec 03, 2019 rated it it was amazing
Aboslutely loved it. ♥
Jul 28, 2020 rated it it was amazing
An incredibly useful book for opening to communication with others and ourselves to create relationships with integrity and joy. Susan Chapman is a gifted and inspiring teacher.
Maggi Harris
Sep 30, 2020 rated it really liked it
I really enjoyed listening to this on Audible. Not everything was mind-blowing, but there were definite "aha!" moments, and I highly recommend it to everyone as an approachable read. ...more
Angie Gilbert
Oct 21, 2020 rated it liked it
Didn’t gain much from this book.
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