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The Conscious Parent

4.28  ·  Rating details ·  3,615 ratings  ·  306 reviews

Written by Namaste author Shefali Tsabary, PhD, with the Preface by His Holiness the Dalai Lama and advance acclaim by authors Eckhart Tolle, Marianne Wiliamson, Marci Shimoff, Laura Berman Fortgang, and other leaders in the field of parenting, this is the book we've all been waiting for.

This innovative parenting style recognizes the child’s pote
Kindle Edition, 300 pages
Published (first published 2010)
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Sep 01, 2014 rated it it was ok  ·  review of another edition
Another book I wanted to love because of the glowing reviews & the premise of seeing your child and your parenting journey together with your child, as a spiritual guide. I would choose Peaceful Parent, Happy Kids (Laura Markham) over this book any day.

The book is aimed more at parents of teens, so maybe I am blissfully unaware of the battleground that is teen parenting (my kids are 4 and 1). However the example she gives of parents in trouble are often very extreme (verbal and sometimes physica
Chris Mower
Jan 17, 2013 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
This book should be a part of every parent's library; it's a parenting book for parents. Literally. The focus is not so much on our children's behavior, but how our behavior as parents effects our children and their behavior.

To me, the overall message of the book was to be present with your child and understand that they are their own person, separate from you—to parent consciously, with purpose and recognizing that it's the here and now that make the biggest difference. Dr. Tsabary reminds us m
Jul 02, 2013 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Definitely the best "parenting" book I have read. This book gave me a ton to think about...about how I unconsciously react to my kids and how a lot of the problems we face in raising children, is because we are unconscious. If we wake up to our role as a parent and start parenting consciously...our children can become our spiritual teachers, and we can parent them in the way they deserve to be parented. I think I have more questions now than I did before I read this book...but in all honesty, I ...more
Jul 13, 2015 rated it it was ok  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: parenting
I've read some of Dr. Tsabary's articles before, seen some video talks she's given, so when I saw this audio book at the library, I picked it up. I'd read so many glowing reviews about it that I was really expecting it to be wonderful, enlightening, life-changing, etc. like a lot of the other reviewers. I have to say that for me, it wasn't. I was mostly annoyed, and I found myself scoffing or cringing a lot at her examples.

I'm already on board with gentle, respectful parenting. I already believe
Apr 12, 2016 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
The one thing that had made me a more conscious mother was the poem "On Children" by Khalil Gibran in the Prophet. It absolutely changed the way I parented from the day I read it many years ago.

I feel that this book, The Conscious Parent, is the practical guide version of that poem. It hits all the right notes for a person who's on a spiritual path, and wants to guide their children through their life on this planet:
- that at a soul level, you and your child are equal
- that your children come to
Sep 23, 2013 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Really interesting book. She says that our children can trigger areas of unconsciousness. In that moment we have a choice. In the moment we are being triggered we can either react from instinct and past pain or we can become aware of the feelings that are being triggered. Our children can be a catalyst for our own healing and we can teach them how to be present on an ongoing basis. Very intriguing
Nov 08, 2014 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Oh if I had been open to and received this book ten years ago. This parenting book has transformed my daily life and relationships with my husband and children in subtle but amazing ways. I have marked and reread passages and most of all my thinking and perspective has changed.

Shefali asserts that many people parent on a reactionary basis and never examine our reasons for the way we feel or do things. She believes that our children are mirrors and spiritual partners meant to help us heal as we s
Tracey Sylkaitis
Apr 08, 2015 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: favorites
This was the exact book I needed at the exact time in my life that I needed to read it. I have always said that my children are my greatest teachers, but until I read this book I could not articulate or even comprehend to what extent that is true. My children both have ADHD and this book answered the complicated questions that I had in regards to what this journey my children and I were on was supposed to teach us spiritually. I knew that for me raising my children and managing their ADHD was ab ...more
Stephanie Kreiner
I saw Shefali on Oprah and was intrigued. I believe her philosophy will be very helpful for me as a grandparent,for my own growth and also how I relate to other adults. I highlighted much of the book and know I will refer to it again and again.

Now for the negatives:
--She refers to a child as "it". This doesn't sit well with me.
--She is very repetitive. This is time consuming and annoying.
--It seems like it took me forever to read the book. I got through all of it but it certainly wasn't easy.
Neilina Corbeau
Nov 12, 2016 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
So much great advice that I really need to be following. Of course, if doing so were not an immense struggle, I would not need all these helpful reminders. I'd go so far as to say that this was one of the most relevant books on parenting that I have read. Most important take home for me personally: My parenting struggles are within myself. They aren't problematic behaviors of my children. It's my unchecked anxiety controlling my reactions to my children. My children are here to provide a mirror ...more
I've read a lot of parenting books, like over 30, but this one stands out as one I would recommend. I must say, I've never read anything like it, and it's approach is unique. Suspend judgment until the end, because this book does something unusual in that the bulk focuses on changing the parent's mindset/outlook on their child. Only in the last chapter does the author address "discipline", or what she terms "behavioral shaping".

To read this book is to confront your own consciousness and what in
I take buddhist philosophy to heart, striving to be present soothes me, helps me, makes me hopeful and feels me with compassion. This book carries the simple message that a parent's best approach to parenting is to be present with his or her children. For those who don't quite understand this, they should read this book right now. For me, it was unfortunately repetitive, and it took me a long time to finish it. I decided to read a little bit every few days to allow for the lessons to fully sink ...more
Apr 17, 2020 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: next-to-read
I just finished it and I would like to start reading it all over again.
Mar 01, 2016 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: janae-s, book-club
A parenting book that focuses on altering the behavior of the child by means of changing the parent. In fact, the whole book is focused on teaching the parent to examine their motives, triggers, every day behavior and delve into their past and engage in constant introspection - all in an effort to not pass on the sins of your parents to your children. This isn't a "how to" manual, which she states clearly up front. Conscious parenting requires you to live in the moment and make parenting decisio ...more
Apr 13, 2016 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: spirituality
I loved this book - it resonated strongly with me. When we transform ourselves and notice our triggers, this frees our children too.
One piece that i would question is the idea that there is such thing as finding a perfect balance between between too strict or too permissive. There is no such thing as perfect parenting. There is no guarantee that finding that perfect equilibrium will ensure that your relationship with your child will turn out fine. We can hope, but our children are who they are a
Sep 15, 2016 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
I wish every parent would read this book. The concepts are so valuable. Unlike many parenting books, it's less about how to parent and more about how parenting itself is an invitation for your own spiritual growth -- an opportunity to develop your mindfulness so that you can respond to your children in a present and conscious way. It contains the tools to develop your awareness about your triggers and the ways in which your own ego and projections affect your relationship with and rearing of you ...more
Sassy C
Jan 09, 2017 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: the-best
Highly recommended for everyone! - To people who are committed to both raising children with awareness and to “raising” their own level of awareness spiritually, emotionally, and psychologically. It really assists in accepting the "as-is"-ness of life and letting go of any rigid expectations of past/present/future events, etc.

"When you parent, it's crucial you realize you aren't raising a mini-me, but a spirit throbbing with its own signature. For this reason, it's important to separate who you
Tomas Ramanauskas
Jul 28, 2016 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: kids
It might be a bit sugary and somewhat esoteric in tone, but Dr.Tsabary gives plenty of reasons to nod "agree, yes, aha, agree".

The successful parenting formula presented here is dead simple: authenticity (understanding one's will and sharing it with the world) and restrictions (reasonable boundaries of behaviour).

The path, that's what's complicated. It all starts with re-molding, re-creating yourself before you can start on becoming this enviable Conscious Parent. And it takes time, guts and t
Rabin Rai
Nov 25, 2019 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Despite not being a parent, I was hooked by Dr Shefali during an interview by Vishen Lakhiani. Therefore, I set out to understand my upbringing as well as my parents better, from this book.

It's a profound, spiritually awakening book that requires a concerted and conscious effort to apply her teachings. Her teachings are infused with Eastern and Western viewpoints.

Although the teachings in the book is not easy to accomplish, the rewards of an ongoing daily process of keeping in tune to one's own
Anna Thompson
Jul 10, 2011 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
This is one of the best parenting books I have ever read. It is written from a different perspective from the others and it has changed the way I look at what I do as a parent. Written by Dr. Shefali Tsabary ( She has written this book with a combination of eastern and western principles and it is just fantastic! Every parent should read this book! ...more
Dec 02, 2014 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
This was a delightful, thought-provoking and quick read, which I wish I had read 30 years ago when my first child was born. It is quite Jungian in its approach without using psychobabble. However, it was a bit repetitive in its concepts; perhaps intentional to reinforce learning. Highly recommended!
Sharon Eller
Mar 20, 2013 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
I loved this book. She focuses on the opportunity for spiritual growth for the parents, rather than trying to "fix" the child. If you are not willing to do some serious self reflection this may not be the book for you.
Gregory Johnson
Jan 13, 2015 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Outstanding book. Goes beyond traditional thinking with a more in depth application of behavioral science and holistic health features.

Outstanding for Parents as well as anyone in a Leadership position, of which being a Parent is the highest order of Leadership for mankind.
Jenifer Jacobs
Feb 25, 2016 rated it really liked it
Excellent excellent excellent. This book really brings home how to take the worry out of parenting and be conscious so that you allow your children to flourish. A bit more philosophy than parenting but oh so helpful!
May 08, 2016 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Don't bring your ego into raising your kids. Be present with them. And if you aren't thinking about it, you're in default/unconscious parenting. I liked this book.
Lim Lyn
Oct 29, 2019 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
This should be the first book from dr shefali that I should read but because of library availability it was the 3rd book from hers that I have read . In that sense a lot of the concepts were reinforcements from what I read from the earlier books as well as finally having the foundational understanding of what authentic self and consciousness actually means . I enjoyed this book still because of the reasons . I love at the end of the book was a summary page of key lessons from the book

Few take a
April Larot Throckmorton
Cultivating an attitude of presence and awareness is something that I was first introduced to during therapy for trauma over a decade ago. I thought I had a decent handle on these concepts until my daughter was born. Motherhood is magical in many ways, as everyone will tell you, but it also has relentless way of exposing all your vulnerabilities and tearing open old wounds - some you didn’t even realize you had. My years of experience with grounding techniques for anxiety and meditation for cent ...more
Jun 17, 2019 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
This just might be my new favorite parenting book. This book is all about loving and accepting your children and yourself. It dives deep into ego and why truly allowing yourself and your children to be authentic is crucial and needs to be at the top of the personal development hierarchy. Becoming present in each moment with our children or AKA being a conscious parent is the goal.

Norah Al Kasabi
I am not sure why it took me a year to "listen" to the whole book. Although I thought it was very insightful, I felt it was heavy and deep. I liked that it focused on the parents more then the children. How the misbehaving is triggered by parents instead of "fixing" the children. Also it talks a lot about accepting our children as who they are not how we want them to be.
Mike M
Jul 06, 2018 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
I’m glad this book found me when it did. Up there with Blessings of a Skinned Knee as one of my favorite books on parenting. Highly recommended.
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Old Souls Book Club: The Conscious Parent, by Shefali Tsabary 11 12 Jul 05, 2016 06:26AM  
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“When you parent, it’s crucial you realize you aren’t raising a “mini me,” but a spirit throbbing with its own signature. For this reason, it’s important to separate who you are from who each of your children is. Children aren’t ours to possess or own in any way. When we know this in the depths of our soul, we tailor our raising of them to their needs, rather than molding them to fit our needs.” 35 likes
“It’s no surprise we fail to tune into our children’s essence. How can we listen to them, when so many of us barely listen to ourselves? How can we feel their spirit and hear the beat of their heart if we can’t do this in our own life?” 21 likes
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