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Guide to Pirate Parenting
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Guide to Pirate Parenting

3.72  ·  Rating details ·  57 Ratings  ·  14 Reviews
If you're like most parents, you long to raise your children as pirates but just don't know how. In "Guide to Pirate Parenting," Cap'n Billy "The Butcher" MacDougall provides everything you need to know to turn your little powder monkeys into happy, healthy buccaneers. In Guide to Pirate Parenting you'll learn: . Ten benefits of raising a pirate . At what age your child sh ...more
Paperback, 136 pages
Published April 1st 2007 by Cold Tree Press
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Feb 21, 2012 rated it did not like it  ·  review of another edition
I'm all in favor of reading silly, funny books, but this one is really stupid. Parts aren't even clever. For example, the author compares the ninja lifestyle to the pirate lifestyle in the following way: "Ninjas live a solitary lifestyle. Pirates live with a great bunch of other pirates." Well, isn't that observation a knee-slapper? Amazingly, this brief book won the 2009 Parent to Parent Adding Wisdom Award for Humor. I shudder to think what the competition for that award was like that year.
Aaron Williams
Silly book - but I would like a book that REALLY teaches me how to raise me childrens as Pirates of the Sea!
Jul 11, 2009 rated it really liked it
I had expected this book to be completely fluff -- and it almost is, but not quite. Peppered throughout this piratical parody are a plethora of pertinent parenting tips which, if you remove the words "pirate" and "prisoner" and replace them with "child" and "sibling," might actually be useful and applicable in the average household. Of course, given that the book is first and foremost a parody of other parenting advice books, readers may wish to take with a grain of salt (cod) any advice they do ...more
Chris Brogan
Jun 25, 2009 rated it it was amazing
Recommends it for: parents
I got a great kick out of this book. Part funny, part "you know, he has a point there," Tim Bete brought a really decent chuckle and snort out of me a few times with this very slender book. A few times, the piratey stuff gets pushed a little too far, but overall, it comes off as funny and not cheesy.

I'm keeping my powder dry, and I think this book is a must for parents.
Angie S
My husband is totally excited about the possibility of transforming our minivan into a pirate vessel. He is using Captain's reverse psychology methods on me, and I have to admit they are working. My little pirates love all the new techniques and marooning them to the produce section at the grocery store has done wonders! Thank you Captain!
Dec 24, 2011 rated it liked it  ·  review of another edition
this is an interesting read by tim bete...a comedy with some honestly good tidbits thrown in for good measure. i don't know that anything else really needs to be said for this...the title kind of says it all! enjoy.
This book is a cute but very superficial take on how to raise your children as pirates. There are a few parenting tips, and some amusing descriptions of pirate-related activities such as converting the family minivan into a pirate vessel.
Feb 18, 2012 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
This book is hysterical.
Mar 09, 2011 rated it it was amazing
love this book!!! wish I could have had it when the kids were younger!!!
Aug 15, 2016 rated it it was ok  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: ditched
I think it was supposed to be funny...
It wasn't.
Sep 04, 2012 rated it liked it  ·  review of another edition
This was a fun read. Not very realistic, but some good / goofy parenting points were made, the main one being don't make it more complicated than it is.
Alison Condliffe
Meant to be funny but ended up being annoying. Quite a good idea but not enough to support a whole book. Nothing practical and I don't have time to waste.
Feb 02, 2010 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Recommended to Rich by: emily bowen
This is the only parenting book I have ever read. It would get 5 stars but for the disparaging remarks against ninjas. Still very insightful, though.
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While Tim Bete has been a writer for much of his life, he only started writing poetry after he entered his fifties and began spending a significant amount of time in silent prayer. The more time he spent in silence, the greater the ease he had writing poetry. In a way, Tim’s poems are his prayer journal.

Tim is a member of the Secular Order of Discalced Carmelites and often trades poems with his o
More about Tim Bete...