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What Do You think of Me? Why Do I Care? Answers to the Big Questions of Life

4.01  ·  Rating details ·  306 ratings  ·  46 reviews
Tired of Trying to Win Approval and Escape Rejection?

Peer pressure, codependency, shame, low self-esteem—these are just some of the words used to identify how people are controlled by others’ opinions. Why is it so important to be liked? Why is rejection so traumatic? Edward T. Welch’s insightful, biblical answers to these questions show that freedom from others’ opinions
Paperback, 149 pages
Published 2011 by New Growth Press
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4.01  · 
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 ·  306 ratings  ·  46 reviews

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Aimee Byrd
Aug 15, 2013 rated it really liked it
Edward Welch cares way too much about what other people think about him.

No really, he does. He says so in his book. That’s why he wrote it. In fact, he found himself needing to go over and over again the principles of his book, When People Are Big and God is Small, that he has written a second time to an audience of 15-25 years of age.

I bought What Do You Think of Me? for the church library because I loved Welch’s book Blame It on the Brain, and thought this title sounded like an issue we all wr
Kara Burgess
Jan 15, 2019 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Great book especially for teens. Not advertised as a study guide but has places to write reflections. Here are my 4 favorite concepts:

1. "Peer pressure comes from within you. You want to be accepted and liked. It's more about what you want than what other people actually say, do, or think."

2. "The curious thing about turning back to God is that, once you turn, you don't have to walk for miles to get to the border of God's kingdom. Instead, the boundary line is always just one step away. It doesn
Dec 11, 2011 rated it it was amazing
"What Do You think of Me? Why Do i Care?", sounds like what we can hear from pre-teens to young adults and in today's world, they are facing a lot of pressures that are more than just peer pressure, what do they wear, or "Mom and Dad just don't get it", but seem to be dealing with more mature issues than any other generations has before.

Although I'm not a teenager anymore (except maybe in heart and mind sometimes) and more in the "You're so not cool, Mom" category, "What Do You think of Me? Why
Oct 21, 2011 rated it it was amazing
Ed Welch's book regarding the ever-common problem of human insecurity strikes right at the heart of every people-pleaser. I appreciate the brevity, clarity, and winsomeness of this book. Welch demonstrates his command of Scripture and Biblical Theology in this book. The real strength of this book is seen in Welch's movement of the reader to a new perception of God, himself, and others. Because Welch is a Biblical Counsellor, his methodology is rooted in the story of redemption and this book skil ...more
Jeff Short
Dec 06, 2014 rated it liked it
Shelves: christian-life
Decent book, though brief. It is written to the high school/college demographic, so adult readers may find it light in spots. Everyone has some measure of care for what others think about them, even the pretenders. Welch puts his finger on the heart of the problem and identifies it well in its different manifestations.

The problem is within and the solution is without. The solution side is what left me really wanting more, more development of thought. I appreciated his treatment of the fear of G
Mar 06, 2014 rated it liked it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: non-fiction
What Do You Think of Me? Why Do I Care? was a good nonfiction read, but I really didn't get that much from it. I liked how the chapters were short and pages flew by -- I started it and before I knew it was done. Some things in the book I really liked, so I'm glad I read it.

Ronda Kinnett
Jun 01, 2015 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition

Excellent focus for every young adult trying to find their way. I recommend every teen read this. Prepare to change!
Unlike all of the other books I've read by Ed Welch, this book is specifically written to a young audience (15-25 year olds according to his introduction). The tone and style of the book definitely felt young to me (I'm in my early 30s) and I, personally, found it kind of distracting.

It's written very casually with lots of rhetorical questions and invitations to respond throughout the book. In fact, the author encourages the reader to make notes in the spaces provided so that it feels more like
Robert Luff
Apr 07, 2019 rated it liked it  ·  review of another edition
Recommends it for: youth leaders and pastors
I am back and forth on how to rate this book -- a 2 or a 3? Realistically, this is a 2.6 or so, so I went with 3-stars.
Welch succeeds in what he sets out to do. He addreses the identity of Christians who are struggling with a fear of other people's opinions. He shows them that their identity is in who Jesus Christ is. This book is suitable for teenagers, and adults can benefit from it. But it could also be better. There could be more meat here. To be fair, I don't think Welch intends this to be
Michael Liebler
This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here.
Mar 29, 2019 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Really good book! It is written primarily for teens and young adults, but the principles apply to any age. Welch takes the reader through a thoughtful process in a very conversational way and offers an unexpected answer to self-image issues. His answer--to be more about loving others than needing to be loved by others--is rooted in the Gospel and cuts across the grain of the culture's perspective on self-image. In the midst of so many voices that want to speak to this topic, this one stands alon ...more
Oct 31, 2017 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
I've been going through this book with my high school students in their homeroom. This book is written specifically toward a teen audience, and it has resonated with my students on many levels. Welch's gift of getting to the heart of issues shines through in the Biblical wisdom of this book.

Adults should not be fooled by the target audience of this book, however. I found myself convicted and with much food for thought on many occasions. I plan to turn to Welch's "When People are Big and God is
Feb 18, 2018 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition

This was a quick, easy read. I enjoyed the progression of the book as it moved through answering “Who is God?” “Who am I?” and “Who are Others?” Theologically and practically, this answered these questions biblically and succinctly.

It seems to be geared toward high school and college aged readers, as many of the examples dealt with high school, youth groups, parent relationships, and friendships.
Long stare into the pervasive and ageless problems of people-pleasing/fear of man/longing for acceptance. Addresses two primary ways people deal with these: 1) doing anything for acceptance, or 2) putting up a wall and keeping others at a distance to "protect" oneself. Both obviously disastrous.

Addresses the issue with a biblical look at three questions: 1) Who is God? 2) Who are others? and 3) Who am I?

Helpful and clear.
Kyle Grindberg
The positives: the book through and through focused on Scripture, it was clear what the author followed as his authority. The negatives: even the the author gives every caveat in the beginning attesting to the fact that the book is written for a younger audience, and that it should be still beneficial to an older audience, it was constantly clear it really was for a younger audience.
Thiago Almeida
Jul 09, 2018 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Alguns livros você precisa ler de novo e de novo.
Dave Jenkins
Mar 06, 2012 rated it it was amazing
Shelves: christian-living
Twelve years ago, I graduated from high school, and in that short time the world around me has changed significantly. The internet at the time was just beginning to take off and cell phones were becoming more commonplace. Even though I went to a high school where most of the students drove BMW’s and Lexus to school, no one had an IPAD, IPhone or any other technological device. Today’s teenager is not only inundated with the need for the latest and greatest technology, but also with the need for ...more
Lynette Karg
Jul 08, 2017 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
This is really similar to an earlier book, When People are Big and God is Small, but it is especially targeted to teens. Shorter chapters and lots of reflection questions make this a helpful resource for youth who struggle in this area, which is nearly all of them.
Steven Chang
Jul 29, 2013 rated it it was amazing
Everyday we go through life with a unique perspective shaped by others, our experiences, or the world. The idea that my peers are the ones dictating my life from action to action is terribly scary. Edward Welch tackles this fundamental question that many can empathize with: "Who am I? to others, to myself, to God?" He delivers a powerful message in this book of how people can walk daily without having to worry about what others may think of you. This book is a very easy read, for he categorizes ...more
A target audience of 15- to 25-year-olds, yes, but if you can get past the marginal language directed towards this age range and see the rich biblical and theological content for what it is, you will finish this book informed, encouraged, and challenged. Don’t discount the whole because of a portion.

If you’re interested, this book builds on Welch’s former book, “When People Are Big and God Is Small,” whose premise is that we ask three questions in life—who are they/people, who am I, and who is G
Becky Hintz
May 22, 2016 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: parenting
I read this book with my 12-year-old, who found it to be tremendously helpful. It's basically "When People are Big and God is Small" for the high school set. The concepts are the same, but the language and illustrations specifically target this age group. The book reads like a conversation with a teen, with ample space for reader response. It translates very easily into discussion if you wanted to use it that way.
Annie Slagboom
Apr 21, 2014 rated it it was amazing
Hands Down! One of the best books I've ever read. I am still soaking up the words from each page and praying they will penetrate my heart causing change.
Most of all praying the wisdom will point my daughters to know, Who they are, Who are Others, andWho is God and Why it Matters.

A book I will be re-reading and referring to often.

I will write a review soon.
Jason Anspach
Feb 06, 2014 rated it really liked it
A really helpful look at what approval seeking is: a sin that at its root is worship of self. We'll be distributing to the Youth Group this year. While it's a short book, I think it begins to go longer than it ought to in the final 1/3, especially given the teenage portion of the demographic.

For those in College, this is a 5 star book.
Danica Abisror
This was a helpful book, written especially for teens and young adults, but applicable to all. Ed Welchs approach is encouraging, pointing you towards making much of God in your life and loving others as the solution to our needs for approval. A biblical counseling approach that was both practical and uplifting.
Michael Krauszer
Jan 23, 2014 rated it liked it
more accurate rating would be about a 3.5. I liked this book and think that it is GREAT for high school and college aged people (and a little older). although everyone can learn from this book, it's more targeted for that demographic. really liked the three essential questions that he framed the whole book with:

who is God?
who am I?
who are they?
Tory White
Dec 18, 2014 rated it liked it
Welch does a good job of answering these two questions well from a Christian perspective. He explains why we care what others think and how to solve these fears in relation to God and faith. Though he writes well and explains his points adequately, I did not find it too intriguing or mind-opening. I would say I probably wouldn't read this book again.
Feb 10, 2013 rated it it was amazing
Shelves: 2013
Read through half of this book and then bought a box of copies to hand out to people. Welch establishes the case of how so much of our anxieties stem from worrying what others think and then he shows how God's work provides the solution.
Apr 03, 2014 rated it liked it
this is s teen version of When People are big and God is small. I wish I knew that before I bought it because I've studied and read that book like crazy. so I'll donate this to an organization for troubled teen girls that is faith based. I think they would get into it. or a new believer.
Steve Rouhotas Jr
Great book to go through with your teenager; or babe in Christ. A bit light for the adult mature Christian, but very applicable still. A great intro to understanding the young hearts in a depraved world, and where there worship lays.
Aug 10, 2012 rated it really liked it
Good treatment of the topic of fear of man that Welch covered in When People a Big and God is Small, but this one is aimed at teens and Pre-teens. We read this as a family and it sparked some good discussion. I recommend it.
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Edward T. Welch, M.Div., Ph.D., is a licensed psychologist and faculty member at the Christian Counseling & Educational Foundation (CCEF). He has counseled for thirty years and is the best-selling author of many books including When People Are Big and God Is Small; Addictions: A Banquet in the Grave; Blame It on the Brain?; Depression: A Stubborn Darkness; Crossroads: A Step-by-Step Guide Away ...more
“Here is the rule: the way you live reveals what you really think about God,” 4 likes
“You will either fear God or other people. There are no other alternatives.” 2 likes
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