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Dumb White Husband vs. the Grocery Store

(Dumb White Husband)

3.6  ·  Rating details ·  407 Ratings  ·  47 Reviews
John is a dumb white husband. That is to say that he loves and cares for his family, is successful in his career, popular around the neighborhood, can dress himself (often without injury) and is capable of reasonable thought. Demographically, however, he functions like a 4-year-old that can't quite master the intricacies of the potty.

It isn't his fault. He studied hard an
Kindle Edition, 31 pages
Published September 25th 2011
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Jun 13, 2013 rated it it was amazing
Recommends it for: all women who have ever sent their husbands shopping
Recommended to Lilo by: I found it at Goodreads.
I just simply loved this book. If laughing is healthy, as they say, I think this book did a lot for my general health.

Maybe I enjoyed this book so much because I can fully relate to it. My dear, sweet husband (a highly intelligent physicist, albeit with a total lack of common sense) needs two pages of instructions when I send him to buy a bunch of bananas.

My husband, by the way, did not find this book funny. For him the behaviour of the "Dumb White Husband" was normal. And this made me laugh ev
Apr 17, 2012 rated it really liked it
This book should be named Dumb Husband Period. I have one and he's not white. He's just Old and
The Pirate Ghost (Formerly known as the Curmudgeon)
Okay, the price is right (Free for kindle) right now, the books only 18 pages long. There are a few good chuckles in there so give the guy a break and read his book.

Besides, he moves "...faster than the speed of criticism..."

If you think your failing at passing the daily test of life, take the twenty minutes it takes to read this and you will realize it could be worse.

Three stars, no warnings needed, save you may see this guy when looking in your mirror and if your wife reads it, she'll look at
Goth Gone Grey
Jan 05, 2018 rated it liked it
Shelves: humor, 2018
You might be a dumb white husband...

If your style of humor (like mine) includes the fine men from the Blue Collar Comedy Tour, this book sounds amusing. It's a very quick read, the tale of a sporadically inept, somewhat unwilling man torn from the comfort and safety of his recliner to go to the dreaded grocery store. This sort of awful thing happens to thousands of innocent men every year, and yet no steps are taken to help this epidemic!

The writing is sound, the delivery acceptable for what it
Mar 26, 2012 rated it really liked it
This book was a hoot. I found myself laughing out loud at certain scenes described by the particular the self serve cheeck out. I will def. be checking out the author's other short stories.
Feb 19, 2017 rated it it was ok
Shelves: 2017, inglise-keeles
The title doesn't lie. This book's MC is most definitely a dumb husband who seems to have no idea how grocery stores or grocery runs work.
Dave Jones
Feb 18, 2012 rated it it was amazing
Shelves: humor, ebooks
This is a short story that I bought from Amazon for 99 cents. Sue & I got a good laugh from the title alone. At that point, any enjoyment I got from the story would be a bonus!

Yes, it's stereotypical and the plot summary is less-than-gripping (Hubby is persuaded by wifey to make a "quick trip" to the store. Unfortunately, he has just started to watch "the game" on TV. His goal is to get back in time to enjoy as much of the game as possible.) What follows is a often hilarious interpretation o
Alan Williams
Oct 29, 2011 rated it it was amazing
There's a little bit of every male, in the dumb white husband. Benjamin Wallace is a keen observer of the human male animal, either that or he's seen me at the self-service checkout at the supermarket!

This is a great little short jaunt.
Apr 14, 2015 rated it liked it
Dumb White Husband vs. The Grocery Store

Everyone I know that has read the dumb white husband stories have told me how funny they are. I found this one funny but predictable. It was a cute and quick read but I won't be reading anymore of them.
Nov 07, 2011 rated it liked it
This story is SUPER short, you can read it in 30-an hour max. It was 99 cents and I wasn't mad I spent it on it although I probably won't buy anymore from this author. It was an amusing story that made me laugh at parts...
Christel Grady
Jun 04, 2012 rated it really liked it
Hilarious! Loved the 16 boxes of pasta. I'm betting the wife actually knew she was going to make him buy the heavy stuff, but waited to text the remainder of the "List". I know I've been guilty of that many times.
Nov 28, 2011 rated it it was amazing
Hilarious and so true.
Steve Sagovac
Nov 12, 2011 rated it it was amazing
Very funny story. Wish is was longer!!
Mar 06, 2012 rated it really liked it
Funny. Silly. Free on Kindle.
Feb 08, 2012 rated it liked it
I just read it because it was free and only 18 pages. To sum it up, I felt sorry for the guy, light, kind of amusing and good for a very short break to breeze through.
May 30, 2012 rated it really liked it
As far a as short stories go - this one made me giggle. It was a very easy read, but enjoyable. I look forward to reading other Dumb White Husband tales.
Feb 25, 2012 rated it liked it
Oh yes I see a little of my husband in this. Cute funny but too short.
Jan 28, 2013 rated it it was amazing
This book had me laughing out loud. Absolutely brilliant!!
Mar 19, 2016 rated it really liked it
Always enjoy books no matter how many pages there are by Benjamin Wallace.
Funny, great characters, good for reading when you need a break from the serious stuff.
Jan 28, 2012 rated it it was amazing
You got to read this! and you got to laugh!
Sep 13, 2012 rated it liked it
Mar 28, 2012 rated it really liked it
Very slight, yes, but it made me smile (and I couldn't help but relate to particular episodes...).
Lonna Cottrell-Thompson
Not laugh producing. I didn't find this story funny, not even microscopically. The cornerstone of it heavily relies on a stereotype. Not only did I find this sexist, but it was also banal. What color cap of milk should he buy? He didn't realize so many existed. His wife texts him to add feminine products to the list he insists he doesn't need. Because he doesn't want to be caught dead with a box of maxi pads in his hands (of course he doesn’t due to his Y chromosome, apparently), he lies to his ...more
Dave Martin
May 25, 2018 rated it it was amazing
Absolutely hilarious!! Literally laugh out loud smack my head funny
Jul 19, 2018 rated it it was amazing
Very cute

It’s a funny little short story and a great read to just sink into. I love this author because he has a great humorous side to his work.
Marguerite gibson
Jan 09, 2018 rated it really liked it

Dumb White husband vs the grocery store was a funny hilarious short read. Sometimes a little humour is just what you need in your day.

Ayushi Ramachandran
Jun 23, 2018 rated it it was amazing
Bloody hilarious

I can so relate to the number of times this has happened to me 😂 So much fun reading another’s plight all the while putting my face in the picture instead
Aug 09, 2018 rated it it was amazing
Grocery Shopping As A Game?

What dad hasn’t had to go grocery shopping rather than watching the game? Benjamin Wallace takes a humorous look at planning and executing a shopping run where not everything goes smoothly. This is a short story that provides giggles, laughs, and snorts. For many it is “Been there. Experienced that.”
John Shrek Walters
Apr 12, 2018 rated it it was amazing
Last minute runs are never good.

First off the main character should ve realized that he was going “lose” the argument, capitulated and possibly been back home sooner. Just my reasoning, I ve yet to win an argument with any redhead, I m sure that it can be done, I just haven t figured out how yet.

Always remember that technology has a better chance of getting you into something than actually working for you.

I look forward to reading more books by this author! Everybody needs humor in their live
Jun 14, 2017 rated it it was ok
Shelves: humor
Just dumb. This book makes the same mistakes Wallace does in Post-Apocalyptic Nomadic Warriors: A Duck & Cover Adventure- stereotypes that aren't done in a funny way and characters that are neither amusing, entertaining, thought provoking, or likable. MC is just stupid without being funny and I was overall irritated. However, there were enough eye-rolling pity-laugh moments it doesn't get a 1. I think this is a funny concept and he could've taken it to a funnier level - there's a great oppor ...more
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“The idiot that had designed the self-checkout lane was an idiot.” 0 likes
“With frantic abandon, John forced his purchases into bags as he waited for the total. “Sir.” John turned to see apron-boy standing behind a central podium that oversaw the self-checkout area. “Yeah?” “The dog food.” John looked to the bottom of the cart and the green bag of dog food that proclaimed to be “now tastier than ever.” He thought for a second about how much he didn’t care if his dog thought the dog food was tastier than ever and then bent down to get the bag. Halfway down he remembered the scanning gun attached to the checkout. Snatching it from its holster, he pointed it at the oversized barcode on the dog food. Beep. “Ha,” he spun the scanning gun like a six-shooter and placed it back in the holster. “Please place item in bagging area.” “Oh you’ve got to be kidding me! There’s no room in the bagging area you stupid piece of…” “Is” 0 likes
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