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Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus

3.56  ·  Rating details ·  164,413 ratings  ·  5,864 reviews

Once upon a time Martians and Venusians met, fell in love, and had happy relationships together because they respected and accepted their differences. Then they came to Earth and amnesia set in: they forgot they were from different planets.

Based on years of successful counseling of couples and individuals, Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus has helped millions of coup

Paperback, 368 pages
Published April 3rd 2012 by Harper Paperbacks (first published 1992)
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Average rating 3.56  · 
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 ·  164,413 ratings  ·  5,864 reviews

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Sep 24, 2008 rated it did not like it
My biggest problem with the book is that it is extremely sexist. The book continually explains that this is just how men are, and then goes on to explain how women can learn to deal with that. Biggest load of crap ever. While some people will certainly fall into these stereotypes, I believe this book may cause more harm than good.

Some of the sexist highlights:
-a woman should go shopping when her man decides that he needs alone time (this is how she can show him her love and trust) {apparently w
Nov 03, 2009 rated it did not like it
There are some books that you hear about and you hear about and you hear about, and eventually you think, "Hmmm, maybe I ought to read that. It's had a huge cultural impact on our society, it might be a good idea to be in on that."

Kind of like seeing Stars Wars, E.T. and the Godfather Trilogy (I still haven't seen E.T. or the Godfather Trilogy, but I hear they're both great). It's just a big cultural thing, you know?

With books, there are a few that everyone needs to know. There are the obvious o
Benjamin Crawford
Aug 23, 2007 rated it did not like it
Recommends it for: Virgins
Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus, and John Gray is from far, far further out in the solar system...

My broad-stroke perspective on this book is that I am inherently skeptical when someone purports to reduce human behavior to simplistic, read-about-it-on-the-subway categories, gender-specific behavior in particular. Resorting to simple explanations for that which is scary -- and I think it's safe to say that romantic partnerships can be scary, because vulnerability is involved, after all --
Jun 09, 2008 rated it it was amazing
Shelves: in-2008
This book saved me from killing my boyfriend. :)
Mar 07, 2013 rated it did not like it
Idiotic sexist drivel. Catch a rocket back to Mars, Dr Gray.
Spider the Doof Warrior
May 24, 2009 rated it did not like it
Shelves: i-hate-this-book, ew
I always thought human beings were individual people with individual likes and dislikes that do not relate to their genitals.
Apparently I am wrong. Men and women are actually from different planets! We're alien species! Sure we can have babies together, but we are totally different. Women like to shop because they come from a planet full of shopping centers.
Men like to fix things and play sports because that's all they did on their planet.
Now if we would just remember that we are two different a
Eddie Black
Jan 07, 2009 rated it did not like it
This is not psychology. This is not even close to be science. I had to read this horrible book in the past (my partner liked it) and I kept thinking to myself that a lot of the stuff in the book was just too convenient, too stereotypical, to easy. Doing a little research found that the school that gave th author his Ph.D. was done away with and that several states (California, Oregon...) will not recognize the titles that the "school" gave out.

I don't like bashing people on ideas, but I hate to
Dec 25, 2007 rated it did not like it  ·  review of another edition
Recommends it for: dumb asses who want to be MISLED!
The book shows men as creatures with very fragile egos and women as over sensitive.
Men & women communicate differently, maybe, but some of the "theories" are really wrong.

Like women talk problems for your empathy or sympathy, for the sake of talking it out and that they are not looking for a solution. Then, talking wouldn't make sense would it?

Like men hate being told how to fix the fuacet, or how to find the way...

This book has OUT-Dated views. I regreted reading it!
Jan 02, 2009 rated it did not like it
what a load of crap. my friend gave me this book after trying to salvage his marriage, told me it was really insightful. He got a divorce within a year.
Feb 26, 2020 marked it as not-to-read
I wrote to the publisher asking if they'd be interested in an edition for particle physicists called Men Are Like Fermions, Women Are Like Bosons, but they told me there was no market.

Jun 06, 2020 rated it really liked it
I picked up this book on a whim because years ago the title had caught my attention. Well, it wasn’t a terrible book as I had expected. There were certain things I didn’t agree with, but overall, it's an excellent starting point for understanding the opposite sex.

By distinguishing men and women, the author attempts to explain certain ways and behavior inherent to the two sexes. By understanding them and learning how to deal with them, men and women can strike a balance and have a healthy relatio
Aug 29, 2008 rated it did not like it
This book was insulting and biased. Written from an unapologetically male perspective, it attempts to lump men and women into desired roles. The man can leave anytime he wants, and the woman, to show her love and trust (read: naivety), should go shopping. Yes, that's what his argument boils down to. I am all for acceptance, but when there are real issues that need to be dealt with, they are not fixed by saying, "Oh, that's just what men do." The "wave" section was particularly enraging as an att ...more
Jun 20, 2008 rated it it was ok
I decided to read this book because I'm a Dave Ramsey fan and it was one of the books on his recommended reading. I've been married for 10 years, but I figured it couldn't hurt to learn to communicate a little better. I'm not sure this book helped any. It's written with the assumption that all men are alike and all women are alike and that most of them have a "traditional" marriage or relationship. There is something sexist in the author's tone. He paints the women as the homemakers with a love ...more
G.L. Morrison
Sep 29, 2009 rated it did not like it
This book is such crap -it includes justifications for date rape and recommends that the woman just "let her husband do it" even when she's not into it. His argument being how long is a quickie anyway. Put out to get along is this marriage counselor's advice. Without the slightest concern to the impact this may have on her libido, boundaries, or esteem for the man who doesn't care if she's into it as long as he gets some.
FUCK are you serious? The layers of hostility that John Gray has to women a
Dec 17, 2009 rated it did not like it
Shelves: non-fiction, siberia
Utterly unhelpful for those of us who do not fit the stereotypical personalities associated with our genders. I'm a Myers-Briggs INTJ. I like to retreat to my cave. Maybe, according to Gray's beliefs, this means I must also have a deeply hidden penis?

Don't get me wrong. I'm not some old-school feminist believer in the blank slate brain. This book is just arrogant and sloppy in its long-shot generalizations. In summary: Grok like boink woman, watch football, make fire. No talky-feewings. Grokina
Sep 07, 2016 rated it did not like it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: bad-choices
am i the only one who found this book extremely sexist ?! why would a woman find this book helpful ?!
Elsa Rajan Pradhananga
Dec 08, 2018 rated it really liked it
Shelves: self-help
Oh yes! And some interactions make you want to take the next spacecraft and zoom out to where you belong. John Gray’s book attempts to hold you back on earth before differences transform into conflicts.

• Respect differences and give people their space.
• Don't give unsolicited advice. Everyone has an idea on how to solve their problems unless otherwise specified.
• On Mars when they say they’re thinking about nothing, they actually mean they’re thinking about nothing!
• Pay attention when
Jan 10, 2009 rated it it was amazing
Alright. So I didn't post this book when I first signed up on this website, maybe because I was embarrassed and I didn't want everybody to know I had read it. OR maybe I was trying to keep all of its insightful secrets to myself. This is hands down one of the most amazing books I've ever read about relating to the opposite sex. Shocking, I know. But truly. Girls in relationships, are you frustrated?? Do you feel misunderstood? Do you wish your guys did this this and this and you wish he would ju ...more
Fotooh Jarkas
I just finished reading this book , actually I used to read it twice to get all the ideas included .
it's strange to find someone who knows about yourself more than you do !! , so in the same way I think it can tell about others too ..
you will learn how to change your good intentions into actions , so it will save you from repeating bad scenarios .
and all in a very simple and clear form
I Love this book and recommend it to everybody :)
Kara Babcock
Wow, this one was rough. I had to borrow the audiobook version from my library/Hoopla because that was the only format available, and it is the abridged audio edition. I normally avoid abridged editions. What’s the point in missing out on a bunch of the book? In the case of Men are From Mars, Women are From Venus, however, I think I’ll make an exception. This is just a terrible, even actively harmful book, and judging from the Banging Book Club video where they talk about things that weren’t pre ...more
Aj the Ravenous Reader
May 16, 2014 rated it really liked it
Shelves: non-fiction
This is a very helpful and informative book about the million differences between men and women. It's also entertaining and it brought my perception of the opposite sex in an entirely different but more positive way. This is a very helpful book to everyone especially those who find it hard to keep relationships because of misunderstanding their partners.
Nguyen Linh Chi
Nov 19, 2016 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
A relationship bible. Must get a Vietnamese-translated version for my parents as well.


- Men want appreciation, admiration, trust and acceptance.

- When your man turns away, just do something you like (reading, exercising, etc.) and let him be alone.

- Don't ask rhetoric questions. Try to be more supportive, eg. "I do not like your coming home late without calling me. Next time when you hang out with your colleagues, call me in advance".

- Set clear personal boundaries.

- When you are resen
Jennifer Jacobs
Apr 25, 2014 rated it it was amazing
One of my all time fav book :-)
As a mental health enthusiast,this book has engaged me for hours and days as I have read it like 5 times!!
Some argue that many observations about both men and women in this book are too simplistic and lack nuance.That books like this enforce stereotypes both - ve and + ve about men and women,while that may be true,this book is like a cult favorite and a real groundbreaking one at that!It has initiated a debate in public discourse about how men and women think diffe

Love: User's Manual

Do you remember the bunch of books Bridget Jones used to carry about in order to make sense of her weird and chaotic life? One of them was just this one, Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus, and because of its longish and kinda stupidish, funnyish title, I assumed, when I saw the movie, it was merely an amusing invention to go with the giddy thirtish female character (as you see I’ve just discovered magic of the “-ish” suffix in the economy of the text).

So imagine my
“Because she is afraid of not being supported, she unknowingly pushes away the support she needs.”
― John Gray, Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus

It is fun to read. B ut I was not all that impressed.

When I was younger, I read this types of books way more then I do now. I did a reread of this one not that long ago and did not like it near as much.

Some things maybe true in here..I liked the rubber band analogy..but some things were sexist seeming and seemed to put all the responsibility for e
Merihan Al Fiqi
John Gray is an American author on relationships and personal growth, best known for his 1992 book Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus, and other "pop psychology" books offering relationship advice.
Oct 10, 2017 rated it it was amazing
Ah how i remember this book. I found it during a night browsing at a bookstore. At that time I am like so many young adult is obsess understanding the opposite sex. How they think and how to communicate with them without causing misunderstanding.

Until now, the content of this book is relevant. Thank you John Gray.
Jun 27, 2007 rated it liked it  ·  review of another edition
Recommends it for: men and women
When I was in college a priest came to our all girls dorm to talk about guys. Not sure why it was a priest but oh well. Anyway in a nutshell he told us that women thought about the world in a subjective manner and men thouhgt about the world in an objective manner. He said if you ask a man what he's thinking and he says, "nothing" he really is thinking about nothing, which is incomprehensible to women who are thinking about everything. At 20 years old this was mind-blowing stuff.

Then along came
Olivia "So many books--so little time.""
Author's take on this subject is interesting.
Apr 08, 2007 rated it did not like it
Shelves: etc
I just read about 10- 20 frist pages. then I couldn't continue it. I mean how cheap!!! I can not understand this way of writing! but mybe something is wrong with me. lots of my friends read it and suggest me too do so... Sorry
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Goodreads Librari...: Please correct title and language 3 20 Sep 24, 2019 06:54PM  
The Worst Bestsel...: Episode 90 - Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus 1 37 Jan 16, 2018 09:16AM  
men are not from mars and gender division is fatal 46 209 Jul 28, 2016 12:01PM  
The perfect man 15 159 Feb 16, 2016 11:22AM  
publication date 1 15 Jan 21, 2015 10:14PM  

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Librarian Note: There is more than one author in the GoodReads database with this name.

John Gray is an American author on relationships and personal growth, best known for his 1992 book Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus, and other "pop psychology" books offering relationship advice.

He was previously married to fellow self-help author Barbara De Angelis, but they divorced in 1984. He is now m

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“When a man can listen to a woman's feelings without getting angry and frustrated, he gives her a wonderful gift.
He makes it safe for her to express herself.
The more she is able to express herself, the more she feels heard and understood, and the more she is able to give a man the loving trust, acceptance, appreciation, admiration, approval, and encouragement that he needs.”
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