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Fantastic Orgy

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3.99  ·  Rating details ·  252 ratings  ·  37 reviews
Shark women, mutant cats, and strange sexually transmitted diseases.

Over the past few decades, sexually transmitted diseases have evolved in unusual ways. Herpes, AIDS, Gonorrhea; these are all STDs of the past. These days, sexually transmitted diseases are more extreme and bizarre. Not exactly diseases anymore, they are more like sexually transmitted body modifications.
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Paperback, 136 pages
Published September 1st 2011 by Eraserhead Press
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3.99  · 
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 ·  252 ratings  ·  37 reviews


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Scott Emerson
Oct 14, 2011 rated it it was amazing
Carlton Mellick III has been hailed as one of the brightest, bizarrest talents in the field of weird lit. His latest collection, FANTASTIC ORGY, is a fine example of his strengths, five stories that blend visceral thrills, erotica, social satire, and vicious wit into a thoroughly unique vision.

In the title story, the collection's centerpiece, mutants meet at an exclusive swingers' club to trade fashionable, functional STDs (I'll not spoil the fun in discovering just what that entails) until a st
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FabulousRaye
Nov 10, 2011 rated it really liked it
Like the chick on the cover, I too have crazy hair that objects get all tangled up in. Her hair is more awesome, because it's a STM and actually tentacles!

* If STD's did modify one's body in weird and sometimes super-hero ways, people would totally have unprotected, fantastic orgies all the time.

* Did you know that mutated Ear, Muscle, and Gentlemen cats from a Kitty of the Month club are excellent therapy? They'll help cure your hoarding urges and agoraphobia!

* It's been about 12 years since I
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Justin
Dec 29, 2011 rated it it was amazing
Shelves: bizarro
This is one of the funnest and most mesmerizing collections I’ve ever read.

Here’s a quick break down of what you’ll find inside:

CANDY-COATED is about an alpha male that has a lollipop for a head. He desperately tries to pick up chicks but it’s tough when bearded truckers keep licking your head. Included in this story are fine cheeses and hilarity.

EAR CAT takes place in a world where everybody is agoraphobic. People no longer leave their homes or socialize. This really isn’t too farfetched from w
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Justin
Jan 25, 2014 rated it really liked it
I was a little disappointed that the feature story wasn't longer but it was a great story, as where the four others in this collection of five short stories. I am still fairly new to this author, this was my second title of his I have read and enjoyed. I think my favorite part is the author commentary at the end where he is trying to explain what was going on in his brain when he wrote these stories, it is pretty funny so be sure not to skip it. There really isn't much I can say about these shor ...more
Michael Kelly
Apr 10, 2014 rated it it was amazing
A collection of five very ... unusual ... short stories.

Each story takes a truly weird idea and runs with it, asking "what would happen if this was real?" For example, "What would happen if a buff man trying to pick up girls had a lollipop for a head?", or "What would happen if STDs were collectible body modifications?"

Having established their ludicrous premise, the stories are then written 'straight', with no deliberate gags. They're hilarious, of course, but they're funny because they're treat
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Dustin Reade
Dec 08, 2011 rated it it was amazing
holy shit.
Heidi
May 26, 2016 rated it it was amazing
The narrator was fucking a shark-woman when my boyfriend asked what the book I was reading was about. My reply, "It...I... (sigh) it's...complicated."
Sheldon
Jul 06, 2012 rated it really liked it
What if sexually transmitted diseases suddenly mutated to give people extreme body modifications that are essentially super powers? This is the premise of Fantastic Orgy, the titular story (huh huh, I said “titular”) in this short short story collection by Carlton Mellick III.

Among these stories are a buff guy with a lollipop for a head trying to pick up women, a bunch of weird looking cats in a world plagued by agoraphobia, punk band roommates in a city overrun with hobgoblins (more on this lat
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Keith
Nov 21, 2014 rated it it was amazing
So this is the first official Bizarro Fiction I've ever read, and I think I really liked it. Sometimes I can't really tell if Mellick writes really loose and a little casually as a stylistic choice, or simply as the result of writing like ten books a year, but he's really got a knack for pulling a narrative together. And oddly enough, for all the anarchy and amorality associated with bizarro, the code of conduct being preached on here is pretty front-and-center. Sure, there's a guy with a lollip ...more
Craig
Jul 22, 2012 rated it really liked it
As the title would suggest, there's a fair amount of sex within this book. As a book of short stories, the stories range and vary in weirdness, but all are entertaining.

The first story, Candy-Coated, is about the struggles of an overly buff guy with a lollipop for a head and how difficult it is to get laid with a candy head.

Next is Ear Cat, about a shut-in who is sent a cat with ears covering its body instead of fur. It leaks earwax all over the house and constantly listens to everything. Person
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jasmine
Dec 27, 2014 rated it it was amazing
Shelves: x-adult, g-bizarro
honestly, all of my mellick reviews are more or less the same thing: his world building skills are second-to-none, he pays close attention to the diversity of his cast without making it feel like an afterschool special, and all of his characters seem to pop right out at you, even tiny, irrelevant background characters. i love his books, i love his girls. i love him. there you go.
Albert
What the hell?
Brett Robinson
Aug 11, 2014 rated it really liked it
Shelves: bizzaro
"Mark," the director screams, "go fuck that shark in the ass!"
As the rabid fuck-mutants charged me, I felt long tentacle-like hands reaching out for them. It was my hair.
Deanna
May 27, 2017 rated it liked it
A collection of bizarre, slightly disturbing, but strangely entertaining short stories. I recommend not reading this book while eating, which is what I tend to do.
Cooper
Nov 05, 2016 rated it it was amazing
Short bursts of Bizarro, giving you a swift kick in the mind-balls!
Brian Tasler
Dec 05, 2011 rated it it was amazing
Shelves: bizarro
While most of CM3's work are novella length Fantastic Orgy represents the rare occasion where we get a taste of his short stories. 5 of them are collected here including the title story.

Mellick is the purest form of bizarro in that his stories are always over the top and entertaining as hell.

"Candy Coated" is my personal favorite of these and was the original story I had read in the online version of Vice Magazine. If you have the chance to access the link to this story there is an awesome aud
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Aaron Mcquiston
Feb 18, 2014 rated it really liked it
If you know anything about the bizzaro genre or have paid any attention to prolific writers or give a shit about reading at all, the name Carlton Mellick III pops up. "Fantastic Orgy" is a group of five stories. They are funny. They are absurd. And some of them have heart. "Ear Cat" really is about an agoraphobic woman who gets a cat every month through mail order. The cats start to scare her, but in the end, the cats become a blessing. The real weird and bizarre runs throughout all of these sto ...more
Stefanie Von Guest
Mar 02, 2012 rated it it was amazing
I loved every one of the short stories that have been compiled into this book. My favourite out of the bunch would have to be EAR CAT, despite the strange creatures within this short story I found it rather sweet.

When you open this book you delve right into the strange and magical world of Mr.Mellick, each story contains weird and unique characters in even weirder worlds, like where sexually transmitted diseases are now called STM's ( sexually transmitted modifications) and people actually set o
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Kate
Jan 27, 2014 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
This is a great collection of bizarro short stories. I've read a few of Mellick's books now and have yet to be disappointed with them, this one is no exception.

The title story forms the main part of the read, whilst it's a good one it's not my favourite. 'Ear Cat' was my favourite, themes of isolation were explored really well and I think this is a story that a lot of people could relate to. For me it was beautifully written and the stand out of the collection.

The authors notes at the end are a
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Titas (I read in bed)
The book is enjoyable. But not my kinda game so I shouldn't have done it! The name of the book is enough to warn you for the contents but still I took a dive with crossed fingers. Actually it is fantastic for passing time and that's all. Didn't really left a mark or anything. And the more I read, I got to know that this belongs to some genre called Bizzaro genre which was unknown to me. Although it was fun and enjoyable, it never really grabbed me sadly!
Anyone can it a try to surprise him/hersel
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Ame
Nov 01, 2011 rated it really liked it
Shelves: bizarro
Carlton Mellick III really does something to my senses. He has a way of tantalizing a person with the idea of a buff fella with a lollipop head, but then he gets that guy to a cheese tasting. This whacky combo of tropical flavored cranium tasting exotic cheeses confuses my tongue but tickles my mind. If someone were to design STDs or a kitty-of-the-month, he would be my ideal man for the job every time. This book is short, fun and freaking crazy.
Devi
Apr 22, 2014 rated it really liked it
This is a wonderful little collection of Carlton Mellick III's short stories. He's an author I always find engaging and entertaining. This book is no exception. Weird and interesting and just a bit twisted and thoroughly enjoyable. Bonus: If you're looking for multiple references to shark/human sex, this is the book for you.

And might I add, very good editing for a Bizarro book.
Tasha-Lynn
Nov 24, 2012 rated it liked it
3.5/5. So not my favourite CMIII book but not because it wasn't good but because I'm not a huge fan of short stories in general. I actually didn't realize this was short stories before starting it. That's ok. It's more my fault than the authors. I always love his stuff.
Derek
Feb 17, 2014 rated it it was amazing
Hilarious social satire and a quick read. "Ear Cat" was definitely my most favorite of the short stories. I also enjoyed the small author's notes section at the back. Easily one of the best works from CM3.
Linkypie
Aug 24, 2014 rated it liked it
Shelves: bizarro-fiction
Super fun book! Another read I have told my friends all about no matter how much they didn't want to hear it. I love Mellick's short stories just as much as his full length ones, he is definitely the MASTER of bizarro.
Chelsea
May 09, 2014 rated it really liked it
This is another hilarious book. I love reading bizarro stories. This book is a compilation of 4 short stories. All of them strange and gross and everything I love lol. If you want a good laugh read this book.
Luigi Rosario
Feb 13, 2015 rated it really liked it
Actually 4.3
Not as high as Haunted Vag. but thoroughly exciting. Deep. And unpredictable turns of events.
(Also appreciated the Cameo of Haunted Vag. characters and Lollipop head man in Fantastic Orgy)
Jeremy
May 11, 2015 rated it really liked it
Shelves: bizarre
A fantastic collection of bizarre short stories, with Fantastic Orgy being my personal favorite.
Stephanie
Jun 24, 2012 rated it really liked it
Shelves: bizarro
I loved this collection of short stories. Particularly "Fantastic Orgy" for which the anthology is named and "Ear Cat."
Anne Javier
Nov 07, 2014 rated it it was amazing
Hurray for the New Humans! Lol :)))
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paced reading hor...: fantastic orgy 12 13 Jan 28, 2014 03:22AM  

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Carlton Mellick III (July 2, 1977, Phoenix, Arizona) is an American author currently residing in Portland, Oregon. He calls his style of writing "avant-punk," and is currently one of the leading authors in the recent 'Bizarro' movement in underground literature[citation needed] with Steve Aylett, Chris Genoa and D. Harlan Wilson.

Mellick's work has been described as a combination of trashy schlock
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