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Things Your Dog Doesn't Want You to Know: Eleven Courageous Canines Tell All

3.82  ·  Rating details ·  210 ratings  ·  74 reviews
Dear Human:

Your dog probably puzzles you. Most of us do that. And most of us would like to keep things as they are: humans in the dark, dogs with the upper hand.

But we dogs are about to let you in a little secret. Okay, a lot of secrets. We graduated first in our obedience class three times. This should tell you something. Puppies know that they're being cute. They're usin
Paperback, 240 pages
Published April 1st 2012 by Sourcebooks
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Average rating 3.82  · 
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 ·  210 ratings  ·  74 reviews

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Jun 25, 2014 rated it it was ok
Shelves: didnt-finish, humor, dogs
I was not enjoying this, and then I remembered that no one is making me read it. There were a few cute moments, but really it's just silly. Abandoned on the free shelf at work.
Oct 30, 2012 rated it it was amazing
Things Your Dog Doesn’t Want You to Know by Hy Conrad and Jeff Johnson is just hilarious. Absolutely hilarious. I was laughing so hard at some points that my kids were running over to find out what was so funny. Of course, half the time they didn’t get the joke … but they’re still young (ages 9, 6, and 5). My oldest asked if she could read it after me, so I just handed it off to her. :-)

It’s not full of constant hilarity. Let’s face it; that would make reading nearly impossible. Between gasps fo
Tara Chevrestt
Oct 27, 2012 rated it it was amazing
Shelves: dogs, pbs
A mixture of comedy and sadness by Hy Conrad and Jeff Johnson with artwork by Dean Stefanides.

Eleven dogs tell you their innermost thoughts.

Sarge...starts a police dog with a fondness for pot. He goes to a junkyard and then a hospital and even the movie business.. It seems poor Sarge just can't keep a job. He gets into tons of trouble and yet at the same time, his stories are a tad sad. He just keeps getting abandoned...or fired as he says.

Moonbeam is a rescued dog living with a hippie. He's not
Apr 16, 2012 rated it it was amazing

Yes, I used exclamations points!!! This quick, little read about eleven dogs, from hippy-dippy to obedience school drop out will have you howling. Of course, there is a dachshund involve and Gabby captured my heart. She is a bit (ok, extremely) spoiled and a bit ditsy but she makes no excuses for it. Tinkerbell, a Chihuahua, is tired of being stuffed in a purse and has lots of friends she likes to hang out with. Don't piss her off since she might grab that blouse
Sep 13, 2012 rated it it was amazing
Things Your Dog Doesn't Want you to Know is refreshing, and one of those books that will pick you up no matter how you're feeling. This book is meant to entertain, to be uplifting, and make you laugh. 11 different canines to fall in love with as they share with you why they do the things they do.

But don't let anyone know they told you ;)

For all dog lovers, animal lovers, or anyone looking for an easy, enjoyable read.
Sep 18, 2019 rated it really liked it
A cute collection of essays told from the 'perspectives' of 11 different dogs about how they perceive life and particularly their interactions with their humans. All of the essays are 2 pages long and cover a variety of topics, from how to successfully mooch an extra meal at dinnertime to the differences in how people raise kids compared to how a momma dog raises her puppies to how a dog copes when there are expectations of him based on his breed but he'd secretly rather be doing something else. ...more
Dec 13, 2018 rated it really liked it
I think this was a really good and interesting book. It tells funny stories about different dogs and they are all different in unique ways. There was a cop dog, a dog that survived a flood, and others. They talk about their life and their owners. One dog was in love with food and ate a lot which was a funnier story. All dogs stories are funny in different ways. Some of the stories are interesting too. Over all I think this book was great in so many different ways and it also very funny and inter ...more
Oct 04, 2018 rated it did not like it
Shelves: dog-books
I really wanted to like this book. stories told from the dogs point of view are right up my alley!!! normally I LOVE them. but I could NOT get thru this book. I didn't find the stories funny or amusing the way I have in similar books. I guess maybe I just don't care for the way this author writes or something. I was disappointed.
If you are expecting a sweet laugh-filled little book, think again. There are plenty of laughable moments and everything works out for the best, but some of the dogs’ stories--like Sarge’s--aren’t all fun and games. Sophie’s final piece of advice made me cry.
Julie G
Oct 14, 2012 rated it it was ok
Shelves: essays
So this is a case of "don't judge a book by it's cover" and also "seriously do your research before you sign up for a book tour." Because the fact that I didn't enjoy this book is 100% my fault. See, what happened is that I saw the adorable cover with the cute little puppy faces and decided based on the title that it was going to contain dog facts/training advice. I glossed over the summary and didn't read the exerpt because I thought it would be like "I'm not a person" and then a little paragra ...more
Donna McBroom-Theriot
Nov 17, 2012 rated it it was amazing
I don’t know what made me pick this book up. Books written in the voice of a dog? Not my usual reading. And, then I opened the book and read the first story. I can’t remember when I’ve laughed so hard. I was hooked!

From the second story on, I began reading them aloud to my husband – who was looking a little weird at me. I guess it’s difficult to understand someone who is laughing so hard they are crying – and trying to read to you at the same time. I finally gave up.

I’ve been known to sit and
Kah Cherub
Mar 11, 2012 rated it it was amazing
read complete review here:

When I first saw this book available for review on Netgalley, I just knew I had to read it. I knew it would be charming and fun, but it turned out to be so much better than I expected!

"Things Your Dog Doesn't Want You to Know: Eleven Courageous Canines Tell All" is a very short, very cute book. In it, we're first introduced to our lovely canine characters, all of different breeds, ages, behaviors, families and opinions. (and, oh
Mar 18, 2012 rated it it was amazing
Shelves: ebooks, arc-s
Please read more of my reviews at

Since I received this as an ARC, it was not the complete book, so I can’t really give a full review since I only got to read the first 25 pages, or the first 7 stories in the complete version of this book that people who purchase it will get. The book is written from the point of view of the dogs, which makes it all the more funny. You get a rather comical look at what might go on in their brains.

This first story was my favorite;
Aug 26, 2012 rated it it was amazing
I usually give my opinion of a book that I am reviewing at the end of the review, but this time I will open with it. I found Things Your Dog Doesn't Want You To Know by Hy Conrad and Jeff Johnson to be everything a book should be. It is engaging, creative and memorable. Each of the 115 essays is presented in the words of one of eleven different dogs. After reading the first sentence of the first essay, as far as I was concerned, I believed I was listening to a dog.

I tried to pick a favorite dog
Aug 04, 2012 rated it it was amazing
I don't know how many of you know this but I'm a huge animal lover, at the last count we had 2 gerbils, 3 hamsters, 2 cats, 2 budgies and 1 golden retriever in our house that goes by the name of Annie so when my favourite book tour company sent me an invite for this book I just had to have it.

The day I got it I remember flipping through it randomly and laughing hysterically with my mother who though the book from what she saw was the cutest thing. It also got the kiss of approval from Annie (Sh
Rebecca Graf
Sep 17, 2012 rated it it was amazing
The cover of this book is just darn cute. That gets your attention, but it's what you find on the inside that keeps you.

This is the book about 11 dogs of various ages and breeds telling you what they think of their owners and those around them. There is the opinionated Border Collie who helped raise your kids if you did not know. Then there is the rich and spoiled Tinkerbell, a Chihuahua. The elderly Cocker Spaniel named Sophie who makes you want to cuddle her with tears in her eyes. Oh, and Gab
Diane Walters
Oct 27, 2012 rated it it was amazing
This is a darling book and I was thrilled when it came in the mail. My initial reaction when I started reading the book was one of confusion. I was expecting essays of a more serious/personal nature, perhaps, with a little comedy on the side. I did not realize that the book was going to be full of comedy sketches. Once I tuned in on that aspect--I had great fun with it.

The graphic design is excellent! It is brightly colored in the style of a scrapbook. Each dog has its own page design and font f
Erica Hunt
Apr 18, 2012 rated it it was amazing
Prior to my hiatus from blogging I was asked to review a fun looking book. It is a book written from a dog's perspective. It immediately caught me as something worth reviewing because how many times have I looked my pup in the eye and wondered what she was thinking. Also, lets be honest I often make a voice for my dog and speak dialog on her behalf. I read this book in a very short amount of time because it was just so stinking funny. It acts like a series of interview from 11 dogs, include Tink ...more
Suzanne Lilly
Sep 22, 2012 rated it it was amazing
Shelves: humor
This book review almost didn’t happen. My daughter saw the book on my coffee table and immediately grabbed it to take to her house.

“Not so fast,” I told her. “I’m doing a book review. After I finish, I’ll let you borrow it.” If the book had made it into the depths of her handbag, I would have never seen it again and you wouldn’t be reading about this funny new release today.

So you thought Bad Kitties was hilarious? This book takes the concept one step further. Instead of just seeing a picture wi
elizabeth • paper ghosts
I'm a sucker for dog books. I'm just an all around dog person, so when I first saw this, I knew I just had to read it. I love POV animal books, and with that adorable cover and the endorsements from a lot of funny people, I thought this may be one of the funniest books I picked up all year.

Imagine my disappointment, then, when it turned out to only be...okay. It had it's moments - I may have snorted appreciatively once or twice. But otherwise, it just fell flat for me. I really credit my main pr
Apr 05, 2012 rated it liked it
The Deal: 11 very different and courageous dogs confess all you ever wanted to know about your own dog.

In confessional style, dogs big and small, with all type of owners confess that no, they will never be full, no matter how much you feed them, that they think that you're spoiling the puppies, and that Birthdays aren't exactly all that important to the psyche of a canine.

This among other stories.

My Thoughts: I'm not going to rate Things Your Dog Doesn't WAnt You to Know. One because it doesn
Sep 05, 2012 rated it it was amazing
I found Things Your Dog Doesn't Want You to Know to be an adorably witty book and I had a smile on my face as I read about these dogs antics and thoughts. Plenty of it was very familiar.
These adorable pups take turns sharing all sorts of secrets such as 'I will never be full', 'I hate your boyfriend' and 'I'm not a guard dog'.

The book is put together very nicely including photos of the pups as each takes turns sharing their truths. Who knew there are so many things your dog doesn't want you to
Oct 24, 2012 rated it really liked it
This book is split into chapters in which each dog takes an issue and just tells you about it in their voice. The stories are consistant to the personalities they have created and you begin to look around at your dog and wonder what they are thinking... or cringing at what they could be thinking. Of course if you don't have a dog I guess I'd wonder more about you if you are looking around for the invisible dog wondering what they are thinking... but I digress... ;)

Some of the humor I admit made
Jenny  (hades2) (Chocolate Chunky Munkie)
What a charming and funny book this was. A very entertaining and light read. As a dog lover I found myself chuckling and nodding in agreement at some of the antics and views of the dogs. My Chocolate Labrador doesn’t need to learn any new tricks he pretty much could have written the book. Especially the part where one dog said he was constantly hungry and was never full...... mmm... I know a certain pooch who could certainly relate to that.

The layout was so refreshing it was colourful and quirky
Linda B
Sep 05, 2012 rated it it was amazing
Dear Human! What would happen if your dog could write you a letter? Things your Dog Doesn’t Want You to Know lets you in on all of those secrets your dog is thinking. Eleven dogs, Axelrod, Bandana, Dimples, Tinkerbell, Orson, Sophie, Sarge, Charlie, Moonbeam, Gabby and Rufus T. share their dog-thoughts in the form of letters to their owner/parents.

Some of the essays are funny, some strange, and a couple brought tears to my eyes. You can pretty much guess most of the topics such as food, toys, d
Sep 07, 2012 rated it it was amazing
I have a HUGE soft spot for dogs, so I was very excited to receive this book for review. Let me tell you, I LOVE this book!! Written from the dogs point of view, they tell you their thoughts on a lot of things you’ve probably wondered about, and why they do certain things.

One of my favorites was “The Questionnaire”, answered by Rufus T. His answers are so funny!! One of the questions is “What makes you howl at the moon?” Rufus T. answers “I don’t howl. I sing–anything but country.” Thing is, he
Oct 19, 2015 rated it really liked it
A cute book formatted to resemble letters, advice and stories from eleven different doggy individuals. Whether mutt or purebred this book will quickly catch the attention of both dog-lovers and owners alike.

Hy Conrad has done a wonderful job in creating and keeping strong eleven different personalities throughout the book. This is done with unique tones for each and matching stationary, which is a reflection of the dog you are reading. For example with Gabby who is girly naive she always has a
I loved Things Your Dog Doesn't Want You To Know it was funny, entertaining and at times sad (especially the last story). We get various stories from 11 different dogs regarding their individual lives and as we read through the book we get to know them even better & their individual character shines. My favorites were Bandana, Orson, Tinkerbell, Sophie, & Charlie though they all won me over by the end. I really enjoyed how each dog had their own page style & font along with their own voice. The ...more
Jul 25, 2014 rated it it was ok
Aspen picked this book up at the library when we were looking for some puppy training books and when she saw that both Steve Martin and Mr. Monk (Tony Shaloub) endorsed it, she rushed it to the check out counter. We thought it would be a fun, fluffy read and on the whole it was. Tinkerbell the Chihuahua and Moonbeam the mutt were my favorites. Moonbeam is clearly a Durango doggie all the way. I nearly lost my breath laughing at some of Moonbeam's antics! So, when we read the final entry and ende ...more
Oct 14, 2012 rated it liked it
Things Your Dog Doesn’t Want You to Know by Hy Conrad and Jeff Johnson is a humorous collection of stories from 11 dogs who bare all. Not only do they divulge secrets about why those “pee” walks take so long, but they also enlighten dog walkers on the order that dogs should be taken out and why. There are hijinks from dogs eating shoes and eating even mores hoes when owners lock them in the shoe closet, and there are dogs giving parenting advice to owners about their own puppies.

Read the full re
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HY CONRAD has made a career out murder, earning a Scribe Award for best novel and garnering three Edgar nominations from the Mystery Writers of America. Along the way, he has developed a horde of popular games and interactive films, hundreds of short stories and a dozen books of solvable mysteries, published in over a dozen languages. In the world of TV, he is best known for his eight seasons as a ...more

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