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Mark Twain On Masturbation
As featured on Brain Pickings ...
America's Master Humorist on Masturbation -- ?!
One evening in Paris, 1879, Mark Twain rose to the podium and tackled the touchiest of masturbation. His remarks rubbed Victorian society the wrong way and were censored for over a century.
Here, at long last, is Twain's hilarious lecture on "The Science of Onanism." This book includes 30 vintage illustrations and an introduction by Sam Torode, author of The Dirty Parts of the Bible .
The Kindle e-book is FREE when you buy the paperback.
America's Master Humorist on Masturbation -- ?!
One evening in Paris, 1879, Mark Twain rose to the podium and tackled the touchiest of masturbation. His remarks rubbed Victorian society the wrong way and were censored for over a century.
Here, at long last, is Twain's hilarious lecture on "The Science of Onanism." This book includes 30 vintage illustrations and an introduction by Sam Torode, author of The Dirty Parts of the Bible .
The Kindle e-book is FREE when you buy the paperback.
38 pages, Kindle Edition
First published January 1, 1879
26 people are currently reading
494 people want to read
About the author
Mark Twain
8,873 books18.7k followersLibrarian Note: There is more than one author by this name in the Goodreads database.
Samuel Langhorne Clemens, known by the pen name Mark Twain, was an American writer, humorist and essayist. He was praised as the "greatest humorist the United States has produced," with William Faulkner calling him "the father of American literature." His novels include The Adventures of Tom Sawyer (1876) and its sequel, Adventures of Huckleberry Finn (1884), with the latter often called the "Great American Novel." Twain also wrote A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court (1889) and Pudd'nhead Wilson (1894), and co-wrote The Gilded Age: A Tale of Today (1873) with Charles Dudley Warner.
Samuel Langhorne Clemens, known by the pen name Mark Twain, was an American writer, humorist and essayist. He was praised as the "greatest humorist the United States has produced," with William Faulkner calling him "the father of American literature." His novels include The Adventures of Tom Sawyer (1876) and its sequel, Adventures of Huckleberry Finn (1884), with the latter often called the "Great American Novel." Twain also wrote A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court (1889) and Pudd'nhead Wilson (1894), and co-wrote The Gilded Age: A Tale of Today (1873) with Charles Dudley Warner.
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August 3, 2024
”As an amusement it is too fleeting. As an occupation it is too wearing. As a public exhibition there is no money in it.”
Sam Clemens was a rascal, and a rough one at that. His sensibilities were honed on Mississippi riverboats and Western mining camps. Through his prodigious talent and the softening (and censoring) influence of his wife he was able to gain entrance to the Eastern establishment, but he never ceased being a savage Westerner at heart, and could never resist poking at the prim conventions of his culture. His favorite dish would always be barbecued sacred cow.
This speech, given at the Stomach Club in Paris in 1879, was a chance for Clemens’s inner scamp to burst free. An all male gathering, well fed and deep in their cups, were the perfect audience for his audacity. His speech was a masterpiece of burlesque, with manufactured supporting quotes from figures both historical and anonymous — Homer, Franklin, Michelangelo (an Old Master, which is, of course, an abbreviation).
An experienced observer has said, “There are times when I prefer it to sodomy.”
Clemens undoubtedly delighted his audience as much as he shocked them. Most of the rest of the world would have to wait the better part of a century before they too could laugh at Clemens’s risqué oration.
Listen here for free: https://youtu.be/vXd02lOKe3w?si=9Blxo...
Sam Clemens was a rascal, and a rough one at that. His sensibilities were honed on Mississippi riverboats and Western mining camps. Through his prodigious talent and the softening (and censoring) influence of his wife he was able to gain entrance to the Eastern establishment, but he never ceased being a savage Westerner at heart, and could never resist poking at the prim conventions of his culture. His favorite dish would always be barbecued sacred cow.
This speech, given at the Stomach Club in Paris in 1879, was a chance for Clemens’s inner scamp to burst free. An all male gathering, well fed and deep in their cups, were the perfect audience for his audacity. His speech was a masterpiece of burlesque, with manufactured supporting quotes from figures both historical and anonymous — Homer, Franklin, Michelangelo (an Old Master, which is, of course, an abbreviation).
An experienced observer has said, “There are times when I prefer it to sodomy.”
Clemens undoubtedly delighted his audience as much as he shocked them. Most of the rest of the world would have to wait the better part of a century before they too could laugh at Clemens’s risqué oration.
Listen here for free: https://youtu.be/vXd02lOKe3w?si=9Blxo...
Read
August 12, 2013I'm somehow confused about this being a 36 page book (perhaps there are illustrations?!), because it's actually a speech Twain gave. If you dig a bit on the internet, you can find it - but it's short enough for me to copy below. It isn't what I'd consider the best of Twain's humor - but it's a glimpse into the world of men's after dinner speeches of the 1800s, and what was considered risque talk.
Found online here and also here (a few interesting notes on that last link, on things like the Vendome Column).
This speech is the kind of after-dinner talk that would only be given without the presence of any women, and only in a circle of like minded men - due to the subject matter. At the time masturbation was still considered both a sin and something that could injure you physically - aside from this being a shocking subject to even speak about. (More history on wikipedia.) It's also somewhat amazing that we have a copy of this - I'm sure plenty of well known authors wrote the odd bit of prose that wasn't fit for "polite company" - but that sort of writing was often destroyed by an author's heirs so as not to besmirch their good name, or some such silliness.
I'm assuming that in his literary and historical quotes Twain is having yet another joke with us by his creative citations - taking some well known quotes and adding the masturbation reference, or just taking a quote out of context (I have a feeling that part of the joke lies in recognizing the quotes). Not that Twain wasn't well read, and not that there's not a lot of quotes in ancient lit on masturbation. But if any of those are based in fact, do let me know.
[In the list of people cited - still trying to figure out who Mr. Brown is (an actor?), and not sure if "The great statistician Smith" is this Smith?]
Some Thoughts on the Science of Onanism
by Mark Twain
[One evening in Paris in 1879, The Stomach Club, a society of American writers and artists, gathered to drink well, to eat a good dinner and hear an address by Mark Twain. He was among friends and, according to the custom of the club, he delivered a humorous talk on a subject hardly ever mentioned in public in that day and age. After the meeting, he preserved the manuscript among his papers. It was finally printed in a pamphlet limited to 50 copies 64 years later.]
________________________________
My gifted predecessor has warned you against the "social evil - adultery." In his able paper he exhausted that subject; he left absolutely nothing more to be said on it. But I will continue his good work in the cause of morality by cautioning you against that species of recreation called self-abuse to which I perceive you are much addicted. All great writers on health and morals, both ancient and modern, have struggled with this stately subject; this shows its dignity and importance. Some of these writers have taken one side, some the other.
Homer, in the second book of the Iliad says with fine enthusiasm, "Give me masturbation or give me death." Caesar, in his Commentaries, says, "To the lonely it is company; to the forsaken it is a friend; to the aged and to the impotent it is a benefactor. They that are penniless are yet rich, in that they still have this majestic diversion." In another place this experienced observer has said, "There are times when I prefer it to sodomy."
Robinson Crusoe says, "I cannot describe what I owe to this gentle art." Queen Elizabeth said, "It is the bulwark of virginity." Cetewayo, the Zulu hero, remarked, "A jerk in the hand is worth two in the bush." The immortal Franklin has said, "Masturbation is the best policy."
Michelangelo and all of the other old masters--"old masters," I will remark, is an abbreviation, a contraction--have used similar language. Michelangelo said to Pope Julius II, "Self-negation is noble, self-culture beneficent, self-possession is manly, but to the truly great and inspiring soul they are poor and tame compared with self-abuse." Mr. Brown, here, in one of his latest and most graceful poems, refers to it in an eloquent line
which is destined to live to the end of time - "None knows it but to love it; none name it but to praise."
Such are the utterances of the most illustrious of the masters of this renowned science, and apologists for it. The name of those who decry it and oppose it is legion; they have made strong arguments and uttered bitter speeches against it--but there is not room to repeat them here in much detail. Brigham Young, an expert of incontestable authority, said, "As compared with the other thing, it is the difference between the lightning bug and the lightning." Solomon said, "There is nothing to recommend it but its cheapness." Galen said, "It is shameful to degrade to such bestial uses that grand limb, that formidable member, which we votaries of Science dub the Major Maxillary--when they dub it at all--which is seldom, It would be better to amputate the os frontis than to put it to such use."
The great statistician Smith, in his report to Parliament, says, "In my opinion, more children have been wasted in this way than any other." It cannot be denied that the high antiquity of this art entitles it to our respect; but at the same time, I think its harmfulness demands our condemnation. Mr. Darwin was grieved to feel obliged to give up his theory that the monkey was the connecting link between man and the lower animals. I think he was too hasty. The monkey is the only animal, except man, that practices this science; hence, he is our brother; there is a bond of sympathy and relationship between us. Give this ingenuous animal an audience of the proper kind and he will straightway put aside his other affairs and take a whet; and you will see by his contortions and his ecstatic expression that he takes an intelligent and human interest in his performance.
The signs of excessive indulgence in this destructive pastime are easily detectable. They are these: a disposition to eat, to drink, to smoke, to meet together convivially, to laugh, to joke and tell indelicate stories - and mainly, a yearning to paint pictures. The results of the habit are: loss of memory, loss of virility, loss of cheerfulness and loss of progeny.
Of all the various kinds of sexual intercourse, this has the least to recommend it. As an amusement, it is too fleeting; as an occupation, it is too wearing; as a public exhibition, there is no money in it. It is unsuited to the drawing room, and in the most cultured society it has long been banished from the social board. It has at last, in our day of progress and improvement, been degraded to brotherhood with flatulence. Among the best bred, these two arts are now indulged in only private - though by consent of the whole company, when only males are present, it is still permissible, in good society, to remove the embargo on the fundamental sigh.
My illustrious predecessor has taught you that all forms of the "social evil" are bad. I would teach you that some of these forms are more to be avoided than others. So, in concluding, I say, "If you must gamble your lives sexually, don't play a lone hand too much." When you feel a revolutionary uprising in your system, get your Vendome Column down some other way - don't jerk it down.
Found online here and also here (a few interesting notes on that last link, on things like the Vendome Column).
This speech is the kind of after-dinner talk that would only be given without the presence of any women, and only in a circle of like minded men - due to the subject matter. At the time masturbation was still considered both a sin and something that could injure you physically - aside from this being a shocking subject to even speak about. (More history on wikipedia.) It's also somewhat amazing that we have a copy of this - I'm sure plenty of well known authors wrote the odd bit of prose that wasn't fit for "polite company" - but that sort of writing was often destroyed by an author's heirs so as not to besmirch their good name, or some such silliness.
I'm assuming that in his literary and historical quotes Twain is having yet another joke with us by his creative citations - taking some well known quotes and adding the masturbation reference, or just taking a quote out of context (I have a feeling that part of the joke lies in recognizing the quotes). Not that Twain wasn't well read, and not that there's not a lot of quotes in ancient lit on masturbation. But if any of those are based in fact, do let me know.
[In the list of people cited - still trying to figure out who Mr. Brown is (an actor?), and not sure if "The great statistician Smith" is this Smith?]
Some Thoughts on the Science of Onanism
by Mark Twain
[One evening in Paris in 1879, The Stomach Club, a society of American writers and artists, gathered to drink well, to eat a good dinner and hear an address by Mark Twain. He was among friends and, according to the custom of the club, he delivered a humorous talk on a subject hardly ever mentioned in public in that day and age. After the meeting, he preserved the manuscript among his papers. It was finally printed in a pamphlet limited to 50 copies 64 years later.]
________________________________
My gifted predecessor has warned you against the "social evil - adultery." In his able paper he exhausted that subject; he left absolutely nothing more to be said on it. But I will continue his good work in the cause of morality by cautioning you against that species of recreation called self-abuse to which I perceive you are much addicted. All great writers on health and morals, both ancient and modern, have struggled with this stately subject; this shows its dignity and importance. Some of these writers have taken one side, some the other.
Homer, in the second book of the Iliad says with fine enthusiasm, "Give me masturbation or give me death." Caesar, in his Commentaries, says, "To the lonely it is company; to the forsaken it is a friend; to the aged and to the impotent it is a benefactor. They that are penniless are yet rich, in that they still have this majestic diversion." In another place this experienced observer has said, "There are times when I prefer it to sodomy."
Robinson Crusoe says, "I cannot describe what I owe to this gentle art." Queen Elizabeth said, "It is the bulwark of virginity." Cetewayo, the Zulu hero, remarked, "A jerk in the hand is worth two in the bush." The immortal Franklin has said, "Masturbation is the best policy."
Michelangelo and all of the other old masters--"old masters," I will remark, is an abbreviation, a contraction--have used similar language. Michelangelo said to Pope Julius II, "Self-negation is noble, self-culture beneficent, self-possession is manly, but to the truly great and inspiring soul they are poor and tame compared with self-abuse." Mr. Brown, here, in one of his latest and most graceful poems, refers to it in an eloquent line
which is destined to live to the end of time - "None knows it but to love it; none name it but to praise."
Such are the utterances of the most illustrious of the masters of this renowned science, and apologists for it. The name of those who decry it and oppose it is legion; they have made strong arguments and uttered bitter speeches against it--but there is not room to repeat them here in much detail. Brigham Young, an expert of incontestable authority, said, "As compared with the other thing, it is the difference between the lightning bug and the lightning." Solomon said, "There is nothing to recommend it but its cheapness." Galen said, "It is shameful to degrade to such bestial uses that grand limb, that formidable member, which we votaries of Science dub the Major Maxillary--when they dub it at all--which is seldom, It would be better to amputate the os frontis than to put it to such use."
The great statistician Smith, in his report to Parliament, says, "In my opinion, more children have been wasted in this way than any other." It cannot be denied that the high antiquity of this art entitles it to our respect; but at the same time, I think its harmfulness demands our condemnation. Mr. Darwin was grieved to feel obliged to give up his theory that the monkey was the connecting link between man and the lower animals. I think he was too hasty. The monkey is the only animal, except man, that practices this science; hence, he is our brother; there is a bond of sympathy and relationship between us. Give this ingenuous animal an audience of the proper kind and he will straightway put aside his other affairs and take a whet; and you will see by his contortions and his ecstatic expression that he takes an intelligent and human interest in his performance.
The signs of excessive indulgence in this destructive pastime are easily detectable. They are these: a disposition to eat, to drink, to smoke, to meet together convivially, to laugh, to joke and tell indelicate stories - and mainly, a yearning to paint pictures. The results of the habit are: loss of memory, loss of virility, loss of cheerfulness and loss of progeny.
Of all the various kinds of sexual intercourse, this has the least to recommend it. As an amusement, it is too fleeting; as an occupation, it is too wearing; as a public exhibition, there is no money in it. It is unsuited to the drawing room, and in the most cultured society it has long been banished from the social board. It has at last, in our day of progress and improvement, been degraded to brotherhood with flatulence. Among the best bred, these two arts are now indulged in only private - though by consent of the whole company, when only males are present, it is still permissible, in good society, to remove the embargo on the fundamental sigh.
My illustrious predecessor has taught you that all forms of the "social evil" are bad. I would teach you that some of these forms are more to be avoided than others. So, in concluding, I say, "If you must gamble your lives sexually, don't play a lone hand too much." When you feel a revolutionary uprising in your system, get your Vendome Column down some other way - don't jerk it down.
October 12, 2016
Çok iddialı ve merak
uyandırıcı bir arka kapak yazısıyla iki
paragraflık yazıyı kitap diye
basmışlar. Önsözü döneme dair
cinselliğin nasıl baskı unsuru
olduğuna dair fıkir veriyor o kadar.
uyandırıcı bir arka kapak yazısıyla iki
paragraflık yazıyı kitap diye
basmışlar. Önsözü döneme dair
cinselliğin nasıl baskı unsuru
olduğuna dair fıkir veriyor o kadar.
September 1, 2024
Türk okuyucu yorumlarına göz attığımda bunun bir kitap olmadığı, kitap olarak basılmasının yanıltıcı olduğu ve hayal kırıklığı yarattığından söz edilmiş. Doğrudur; 30 küsur sayfalık bir kitap içinde her sayfanın sadede bir kaç satırdan oluşması onu kitap yapmıyor ama kitabı alırken sayfa sayısını dikkate alırsak buna hazırlıklı olmalıyız. Ben bir bildirinin kitapçık haline getirilmiş olduğunu varsayıp almıştım bir kaç yıl önce. Nitekim gerçekten de bir şairler/yazarlar kulübünde kürsüde okumak üzere kaleme aldığı bir bildiriymiş. Önsözde bu bilgi yer alıyor.
Mark Twain’in yazarlık yanı sıra mizah ustası olarak da kayıtlarda yer alışını, ek olarak İnsan Nedir adıyla ahlak kavramını da sorguladığı bir kitabı olduğunu da göz önünde bulundurursak bu bildiri çok şaşırtıcı değil.
Kaleme alındığı dönem olan 1800’lü yılların sonlarında, tıbbın henüz arzu ettiği yolu kat edemediği ve dinin ahlak kılıfıyla her şeyde söz sahibi olmaya devam ettiği dönemde masturbasyonun da sadece günah olarak adlandırılmadığı, doktorların da bu rüzgarı arkasına alıp yığınla yan etkiden ve lanetlenme unsuruyla söz ettiği bir konu. Bu açıdan bu bildiri bize fazla bir şey katmıyorsa da o döneme yönelik bakış açısına dair fikir veriyor.
6:45 yayınları, tasvip etmediğim yönde kurnaz bir yayınevi, doğru. Ama bu bildiriyi de internetten bulup okumak aklıma gelmezdi. O dönem için fiyatı da makul olduğundan, şu an kitaplığımda bulunmasında bir sakınca yok.
Mark Twain’in yazarlık yanı sıra mizah ustası olarak da kayıtlarda yer alışını, ek olarak İnsan Nedir adıyla ahlak kavramını da sorguladığı bir kitabı olduğunu da göz önünde bulundurursak bu bildiri çok şaşırtıcı değil.
Kaleme alındığı dönem olan 1800’lü yılların sonlarında, tıbbın henüz arzu ettiği yolu kat edemediği ve dinin ahlak kılıfıyla her şeyde söz sahibi olmaya devam ettiği dönemde masturbasyonun da sadece günah olarak adlandırılmadığı, doktorların da bu rüzgarı arkasına alıp yığınla yan etkiden ve lanetlenme unsuruyla söz ettiği bir konu. Bu açıdan bu bildiri bize fazla bir şey katmıyorsa da o döneme yönelik bakış açısına dair fikir veriyor.
6:45 yayınları, tasvip etmediğim yönde kurnaz bir yayınevi, doğru. Ama bu bildiriyi de internetten bulup okumak aklıma gelmezdi. O dönem için fiyatı da makul olduğundan, şu an kitaplığımda bulunmasında bir sakınca yok.
July 22, 2020
Kratki govor o onaniji, bio bi vjerovatnije više smiješan da je napisan u nešto novije vrijeme (ili, sasvim suprotno, u vrijeme dragog Francoisa Rabelaisa). Možda nije toliko duhovit jer se u njemu spominje i Homer, ne znam.
August 29, 2011
This isn't a book. Its a speech!. Mostly its a play of words that mark twain has used to put forth his views on the self indulgent act. Its amusing.
I liked the way he's compared it to flatulence and the losing of potential children. Also, the affront of one of the authors and naming the male organ is quite entertaining. Seems men will always be men and naming their genitals continues in an attempt to bely the correct importance ( that is their due according to them ) to them. ;)
I liked the way he's compared it to flatulence and the losing of potential children. Also, the affront of one of the authors and naming the male organ is quite entertaining. Seems men will always be men and naming their genitals continues in an attempt to bely the correct importance ( that is their due according to them ) to them. ;)
September 23, 2022
Bomboş, neyi anlattığı belli olmayan, ifade gücü ve okuma zevki aşırı zayıf bir kitap.
Yalnız 6:45’in basım bilgileri sayfasındaki göz korkutmasına bayıldım:)
“Kadıköy’ün yağmurlu ve puslu sokaklarında hazırlanan bu kitap, sizi uçurumdan aşağı atabilecek güce sahip olabilir. Herhangi bir şekilde ve özellikle izinsiz olarak iktibas edildiğinde Kadıköy’ün o bilinen, serin ve rutubetli laneti, yıllar boyunca bunu yapanı takip eder, saçları dökülür, rüyasında sürekli olarak Kadıköy sokaklarından akın akın geçerek yıllık intiharlarını gerçekleştirmeye giden lemur sürüleri görür ve derin bir yalnızlığa gömülür.”
Yalnız 6:45’in basım bilgileri sayfasındaki göz korkutmasına bayıldım:)
“Kadıköy’ün yağmurlu ve puslu sokaklarında hazırlanan bu kitap, sizi uçurumdan aşağı atabilecek güce sahip olabilir. Herhangi bir şekilde ve özellikle izinsiz olarak iktibas edildiğinde Kadıköy’ün o bilinen, serin ve rutubetli laneti, yıllar boyunca bunu yapanı takip eder, saçları dökülür, rüyasında sürekli olarak Kadıköy sokaklarından akın akın geçerek yıllık intiharlarını gerçekleştirmeye giden lemur sürüleri görür ve derin bir yalnızlığa gömülür.”
February 11, 2020
İnsanlığı daha aydınlık günlere götürecektir.
August 2, 2022
Yazarına kanıp okunan kitaplar yok mudur? Vardır elbet…
February 21, 2019
Read this during a refractory period
February 12, 2019
In honor of "Romance Week" here on the mighty Goodreads, let me offer up this bit of frictional fiction to warm the cockles of your, er, cockles.
Yes, it's Twain, that scamp -- sporting a long cigar as usual and possibly something else -- up front with the goods to shock the Victorians with a litany of some upstanding historical fellows who've lauded the upsides of the act of "self abuse." So grab yourself a stiff drink and a stiff whatever, sit back, relax and have a short laugh.
http://www.textfiles.com/etext/AUTHOR...
----
kr, eg '19
Yes, it's Twain, that scamp -- sporting a long cigar as usual and possibly something else -- up front with the goods to shock the Victorians with a litany of some upstanding historical fellows who've lauded the upsides of the act of "self abuse." So grab yourself a stiff drink and a stiff whatever, sit back, relax and have a short laugh.
http://www.textfiles.com/etext/AUTHOR...
----
kr, eg '19
June 29, 2015
Amusing.
I am (always) grateful I did not live during the Victorian era.
I am (always) grateful I did not live during the Victorian era.
November 28, 2015
The book is brilliantly funny and everyone should read it right now.
I kind of wish I had bought the book in hardcover so I could have shocked the patrons at my local coffeeshop.
I kind of wish I had bought the book in hardcover so I could have shocked the patrons at my local coffeeshop.
November 4, 2019
The signs of excessive indulgence in this destructive pastime
are easily detectable. They are these: a disposition to eat, to
drink, to smoke, to meet together convivially, to laugh, to joke
and tell indelicate stories--and mainly, a yearning to paint
pictures. The results of the habit are: loss of memory, loss of
virility, loss of cheerfulness and loss of progeny.
Of all the various kinds of sexual intercourse, this has the
least to recommend it. As an amusement, it is too fleeting; as an
occupation, it is too wearing; as a public exhibition, there is no
money in it. It is unsuited to the drawing room, and in the most
cultured society it has long been banished from the social board.
It has at last, in our day of progress and improvement, been
degraded to brotherhood with flatulence. Among the best bred,
these two arts are now indulged in only private--though by consent
of the whole company, when only males are present, it is still
permissible, in good society, to remove the embargo on the
fundamental sigh.
My illustrious predecessor has taught you that all forms of
the "social evil" are bad. I would teach you that some of these
forms are more to be avoided than others. So, in concluding, I
say, "If you must gamble your lives sexually, don't play a lone
hand too much." When you feel a revolutionary uprising in your
system, get your Vendome Column down some other way--don't jerk it
down.
are easily detectable. They are these: a disposition to eat, to
drink, to smoke, to meet together convivially, to laugh, to joke
and tell indelicate stories--and mainly, a yearning to paint
pictures. The results of the habit are: loss of memory, loss of
virility, loss of cheerfulness and loss of progeny.
Of all the various kinds of sexual intercourse, this has the
least to recommend it. As an amusement, it is too fleeting; as an
occupation, it is too wearing; as a public exhibition, there is no
money in it. It is unsuited to the drawing room, and in the most
cultured society it has long been banished from the social board.
It has at last, in our day of progress and improvement, been
degraded to brotherhood with flatulence. Among the best bred,
these two arts are now indulged in only private--though by consent
of the whole company, when only males are present, it is still
permissible, in good society, to remove the embargo on the
fundamental sigh.
My illustrious predecessor has taught you that all forms of
the "social evil" are bad. I would teach you that some of these
forms are more to be avoided than others. So, in concluding, I
say, "If you must gamble your lives sexually, don't play a lone
hand too much." When you feel a revolutionary uprising in your
system, get your Vendome Column down some other way--don't jerk it
down.
July 28, 2017
Too short, but a good read while it lasts....
I may not have received the whole book. I thought it was supposed to be 30 pages, but it was not, and the description warned of very bad formatting, and while the formatting was a bit kinky, it wasn't as bad as I might have expected. But of course, it is the quality of the writing, and yea verily, the quality of the research that went into it, that makes this book so engaging!
I may not have received the whole book. I thought it was supposed to be 30 pages, but it was not, and the description warned of very bad formatting, and while the formatting was a bit kinky, it wasn't as bad as I might have expected. But of course, it is the quality of the writing, and yea verily, the quality of the research that went into it, that makes this book so engaging!
February 20, 2020
Amusing. The quotes he used were amazing and I even laughed out loud once, for some reason, at the changed qoute "X is the best policy".
April 26, 2020
Ο Twain μπορεί να σε κάνει να γελάσεις περισσότερο απ' όσο νομίζεις...!!!
Want to read
May 29, 2022Does this book have a climax?
Read
June 19, 2022değerlendirme yapılacak bir kitap olduğunu düşünmüyorum.
garip bir kitap bence.
denk gelirse okunur ama para verip alsam pişman olurdum diye düşünüyorum.
garip bir kitap bence.
denk gelirse okunur ama para verip alsam pişman olurdum diye düşünüyorum.
July 11, 2022
This one is so short, I actually read it all in one of the goodreads-comments. I see that Mark Twain really had a much wider outlook on life than most people for his time.
April 8, 2025
Robinson Crusoe: "Bu hassas sanata ne kadar borçlu olduğumu anlatamam."
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July 23, 2022Ended up reading the Yale Library scanned version.
July 27, 2008
Hate to call this a book, but hey, they made one out of the (probably should have stayed) lost story a few years back, so why not. This is Twain at his over-the-top best. Bawdy, of course, ala 1601, but so frickin' funny that the term LOL is entirely true. Twain sets out to skewer just about everyone in this, from "quoting" Franklin and Queen Elizabeth on its merits to playing on the prevention of childbirth. It can be found on the web, I highly recommend you read it. Just absolutely full of win.
June 25, 2013
Twain wrote this in response to the public opinion on masturbation. Super short, really this was a speech so it makes for a quick read. I believe I purchased this (cheap or for free) on amazon. He is so clever and funny, greatly increased his already charming self. I really wish I could have sat and chatted with him (invent that time machine already!)
July 2, 2013
Reading this book one must remember the context not just of the event but the time. Many today do not realize how abhorrent the practice of masturbation was considered: It was common medical belief that a male who masturbates could go mad or much worse. Mark Twain's purposely erroneous quotations from famous historical and then present day figures are clever and very entertaining.
April 6, 2014
A once banned essay (Speech) delivered by famous 19th century author Mark Twain to a men's club on, you guessed it, masturbation. Full of tongue-n-cheek humor aimed at the society of the time. It'll make you chuckle, but nothing shocking to a 21st century audience. A very quick read, fun if you have some time on your hands. I got my copy free from Amazon Kindle.
July 24, 2013
Twain is a masterful satirist! Although the subject isn't as taboo in modern times as it was then, it certainly puts perspective on how the topic was perceived. The quotes are hilarious and are worth the dollar spent. It's a pretty quick read of the speech he made that will make you chuckle.
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January 12, 2016The book was short so my review will be too. This takes about half an hour to read and is full of fun "quotes" by Mark Twain about masturbation. Not as funny as some others I have read by Mark Twain, but a good way to while away a few minutes between books.
July 27, 2008
Well, now I've read it, so I guess it can go on the sexy shelf... once I figure out what a Vendome Column is...
I would've liked to've known Sam Clemens. How cool is this?!
I would've liked to've known Sam Clemens. How cool is this?!
September 11, 2011
Vendome Column... lol. IIT-R has one.
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