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The Knife and the Butterfly

Ashley Hope Pérez (Goodreads Author)

3.72 · Rating details · 325 ratings · 94 reviews

After a marijuana-addled brawl with a rival gang, 16-year-old Azael wakes up to find himself surrounded by a familiar set of concrete walls and a locked door. Juvie again, he thinks. But he can't really remember what happened or how he got picked up. He knows his MS13 boys faced off with some punks from Crazy Crew. There were bats, bricks, chains. A knife. But he can't rem ...more

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Hardcover, 216 pages

Published February 1st 2012 by Carolrhoda Books

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Dec 21, 2011 Kathleen H rated it liked it

Thank you, Ashley Hope Perez, for writing books that need to be written. I can't wait to share this book with my kids in Juvie!

The Knife and the Butterfly is about a 15 year old kid named Martin "Azael" Arevalo, or Azz for short. He's a member of the MS-13, the Mara Salvatrucha gang, known for its pervasiveness and brutality. The story opens with Azz in a cell. This is nothing new for him, but this time, he can't remember exactly what happened to land him there.

The story takes place primarily i Thank you, Ashley Hope Perez, for writing books that need to be written. I can't wait to share this book with my kids in Juvie!

The Knife and the Butterfly is about a 15 year old kid named Martin "Azael" Arevalo, or Azz for short. He's a member of the MS-13, the Mara Salvatrucha gang, known for its pervasiveness and brutality. The story opens with Azz in a cell. This is nothing new for him, but this time, he can't remember exactly what happened to land him there.

The story takes place primarily in Azz's cell, where he racks his brains trying to figure out what happened to him -- he can't even get anyone to tell him what he's accused of, and suspects that they're trying to manipulate him into confessing... but for what crime?

We see parts of Azz's life on the outside through flashbacks, and when Azz is taken to observe a girl named Lexi, a second perspective of the story begins to unfold, told from her perspective in therapy sessions and diary entries. Azz believes that his observation of Lexi is supposed to result in some kind of confession...either from him or Lexi. But he doesn't recognize her, or know what information she might have about him.

The voice of Azz is pitch perfect... for anyone who has worked with gang members or troubled youth in the Texas area, Azz could be a dozen kids you know. His sense of loyalty to his friends, his denial that he needs any kind of adult support or intervention, and his playboy posturing and heartfelt love of his girlfriend all ring true. Some of the scenes described are intense, but Perez walks a fine line between including enough information to make the story believable, while not treading into TMI territory (she mostly succeeds, though there are a few lines where I thought she pushed it a little far). Substance abuse, especially huffing and taking "bars" or Xanax, is described in detail, as tagging and mural-painting are a key theme throughout the story.

Sex is mentioned -- both the kind found in a loving relationship, as well as throwaway one night stand, and drug-addled varieties -- but not described. Some of the words used, are not curse words, but are a bit vulgar and crude and may make some adults wince (blow job, tits, cum, etc) but they all make sense in the place they're being used, and the characters who are using them. Don't get me wrong, though... there's plenty of profanity!

If I compare this story to any others, it will give away the twist, so I'll refrain from doing that, but I will say that the book follows in the growing trend of magical realism, and that while the story is certainly one of redemption, the message isn't too heavy handed. One might even quibble that it's a little too obscure... at the end, I wasn't entirely sure what message I was being left with, though it was undoubtedly positive.

The characters are the one thing holding me back from a five-star review at this juncture. There was a lot of information whizzing around, and while I definitely saw some character growth and development in the story, I felt a queer lack of empathy for either character. This is unusual for me, since I work with this population, and experience empathy for them on a daily basis. With both characters, whenever I was getting even a little bit close to them, there would be something in the story that would push you away again. While both characters are flawed, I felt like I should have been closer to both kids at the end of the story, and was surprised at how detached I felt at the end. Near the end of the story, just when you think Azz may be developing some sympathy for Lexi - and when he says he is himself -- he calls her the "girl with big tits and blow job lips" in the same breath as he's saying something sympathetic about her, and it makes his whole sentiment ring false at a time when we should be rooting for him. The relationship with Azz's aunt and uncle also needed a bit more depth for me. Lexi's family was much better fleshed out, so it was easier to sympathize with her, but Azz remained standoffish, all the way to the end.

There were so many elements I was excited to see (finally!) in print in a book for teens, but at some points, it felt a little bit like an academic exercise to try and fit them all into the story... it was almost as if I were checking off things in my head when I came across them (abandoned child, check. hard core gangbanger, check. romance, check. struggling reader, check. misunderstood and lonely girl, check.) but I think Ms. Perez did a good job of weaving them all together into a cohesive whole.

The story is a very compelling one, and I truly believe it will find a welcome audience in teens who are struggling with gang violence in their lives. The mystery may reveal itself a little early on for adults, but that doesn't lessen the desire to have a solid answer to your questions as a reader. While the ending to Azz's story leaves some room for interpretation, the end of Lexi's story is fully spelled out, including an epilogue and an author's note that provides more back story.

I'm going to have to reserve final judgement on this one until I share it with my incarcerated teens -- I'm very interested in their response. On the one hand, I could see them absolutely loving it... it's very raw and real and the pacing is pretty quick. On the other hand, I could see them having a hard time swallowing the magic realism. Their tastes tend towards realistic fiction, but this one has so many realistic elements that they might overlook their preference for "realistic" stories... if they can be convinced to care about the characters, and the decisions they ultimately make. ...more

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Feb 19, 2012 Donna rated it it was amazing

Shelves: best-bitten, squeemers, young-adult, contemporary, issues

I took a huge risk on THE KNIFE AND THE BUTTERFLY and gave it the benefit of the doubt. This whole gang, thug life thing, totally not my bag in the slightest. And characters like this? I pretty much don't give two shits about. But I am SOOOOO glad I took the chance because it ended being worth it and then some just for the ending. Like to the point of me being winded and speechless and not even moving worth it.

Azael is a thug. He's entrenched in gang life and quite frankly, until he really start I took a huge risk on THE KNIFE AND THE BUTTERFLY and gave it the benefit of the doubt. This whole gang, thug life thing, totally not my bag in the slightest. And characters like this? I pretty much don't give two shits about. But I am SOOOOO glad I took the chance because it ended being worth it and then some just for the ending. Like to the point of me being winded and speechless and not even moving worth it.

Azael is a thug. He's entrenched in gang life and quite frankly, until he really started breaking down in his prison cell and we start delving into his past I didn't feel much for him. He's a punk, someone that's starts ridiculous fights over some imagined blast to his or his friends' pride. At first I was really worried this would be a first for me: the first Carolrhoda Lab book I really didn't like. But once Perez started chipping away at the surface and really started getting into who Azael really was under that whole thug facade it became interesting. His life with MS-13 ended up being akin to addiction. Throughout the book he kept coming back to his girlfriend Becca and how he wanted to get clean for her, actually using those words. But it was always tomorrow, tomorrow, tomorrow. I ended up feeling bad for him because he is so young (15) and once his mom died his childhood pretty much sucked thanks to a selfish father that couldn't get over it enough to take care of his kids.

And then you have Lexi. I found the blurb just a touch misleading because I thought it was going to alternate POVs between Azael and Lexi but it sticks with Azael the whole time although we learn everything about Lexi through him and her journal. We don't really NEED to be in her head because we already kind of are when Azael is doing his observation.

What really bothered me was how quick Azael was to discount Lexi's problems because she's white. That really got under my skin and I wanted to slap him for it. Just because she's fair doesn't mean her life doesn't suck, and it certainly sucked. She was basically pseudo-raised by a mom in denial that had a revolving door of boyfriends, some of which abused her. She acted the only way she really knew how, through sexuality, and the gang life she sought provided her a bit of protection that she couldn't get at home with her mom. They were family where she didn't have any, except for her grandmother, who really tried. That's who Lexi warmed up to the most, that's where she looked to for encouragement or whether she should feel disappointed. Her mom didn't matter but her grandmother did.

The ending was so insanely sudden for me and hit me so profoundly that I actually gasped, my hands started shaking and I didn't know what to do with myself. I've said it before and I'll say it again: I'm not even halfway decent at picking up on twists in plots early in the story so I didn't see it coming AT ALL. And you know what? I'm glad. Because it took me aback so much that I think if I'd guessed before had, it would have ruined the story for me. It would have kept the story an okay story instead of launching it into FUCKING PHENOMENAL territory as it wrapped a rubber band around the whole thing and brought it all together. The ending really did it for me. If it had not ended the way it did I wouldn't have liked the book nearly as much. In fact I can't really imagine it ending any other way because it wouldn't have had nearly the same impact. Flabbergasted. Seriously.

THE KNIFE AND THE BUTTERFLY is not for the faint of heart. It's told through the eyes of a male MS-13 member (for those that don't know, it's a brutal gang based out of Los Angeles) and Perez is not shy about language, sexual innuendo or violence. It's all there, raw and uncensored for you to read and absorb. But she's written it so well that you'd think an actual member wrote it, that the story was coming from someone really living it. And in a way it did as it was inspired by actual events. Perez made me feel for someone that I would rightly brush aside, whose story I wouldn't have even considered before and I thank her deeply for that. Now I'm pretty much screwed because Azael's story was so phenomenal that I don't even know if anything else will compare. I don't know if I want it too. ...more

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Feb 03, 2012 TheBookSmugglers rated it really liked it

Warning: this review contains very minor spoilers.

15-year-old Azael wakes up to find himself locked up after a fight against a rival gang. He assumes he is in Juvie again but the conditions of his incarceration are somewhat different this time around. He doesn’t get the phone call he is entitled to, there is no lawyer talking to him, no one will tell him what’s happening and he spends his days observing this white girl called Lexi, in another cell. He knows she is connected to what happened to h Warning: this review contains very minor spoilers.

15-year-old Azael wakes up to find himself locked up after a fight against a rival gang. He assumes he is in Juvie again but the conditions of his incarceration are somewhat different this time around. He doesn’t get the phone call he is entitled to, there is no lawyer talking to him, no one will tell him what’s happening and he spends his days observing this white girl called Lexi, in another cell. He knows she is connected to what happened to him but he can’t really remember the details of the night he was arrested – and it is imperative that he does so, before Lexi goes to trial and before time runs out.

The story progresses as Azael tries to not only remember what happened that night but also to understand what brought him there and how Lexi is related to all of it. The narrative reflects this progression by alternating between “now” and “then” from Azael’s point of view. The conditions of Azael’s incarceration are very unsettling from the start – to him and to the reader. It is obvious that something is afoot and I guessed that the story would involve a certain degree of supernatural elements which places the story firmly within the realm of Magic Realism. Although this piece of information might be slightly spoilery, I do think it is important to share it with potential readers who might approach this expecting a straightforward realistic Contemporary YA. I am not usually a fan of Magic Realism but it worked here because the focus is much more on the “realism” rather than on the “magical” aspect of the story.

Plot-wise The Knife and the Butterfly is loosely inspired by a real event that took place in a Houston park and which involved members of the MS-13 gang. This is merely the point of departure though as the story here is Ashley Hope Perez’s own and simply put, the heart of it is the characters and their circumstances.

The book depicts gang-life with complexity focusing on the low-level members that make up its ranks. As such, Azael’s life as a member of the MS-13 is one of crime and violence but also of close bonds of friendship, loyalty and survival. It is not about glorifying it at all but it does provide a thoughtful insight about the circumstances that might make a young kid join a gang. It is about the combination of missed opportunities, bad luck and poor choices. The book explores this dichotomy of circumstance versus choice really, really well – this is in fact the theme of the book: the knife as an easy choice but the hope for change (like a butterfly) is always present.

And that’s the core of Azael’s beautifully portrayed journey. The early death of his mother, his father’s extradition back to El Salvador leaving Azael , his brother Eddie and their sister Regina to fend for themselves as they slip through the cracks of the social system. His decision to leave school, his artistic tendencies, his love for his girlfriend Becca (and his promise to her to leave gang-life) and his family are all part of his heart-wrenching story. His voice sounded very genuine to me and although I flinched at certain parts of his narrative – especially when referring to girls, for example – these were addressed by the narrative in a way that satisfied me not only in a meta-textual way (by making it plain that circumstance can, unfortunately dictate world-view) but also in-text by allowing the reader to connect with a different side of Azael as other sides of him are slowly unveiled. On the other side of the story, there is also Lexi and it is not until later in the book that we get to hear from her. Her story is equally powerful: her problematic relationship with her parents, her love and respect for her grandmother, the fucked-up choices she makes with regards to sex and drugs all provide a frank look at her own troubled life. Where and how their paths cross is the end-game of the story and best left to be discovered by each reader.

Ultimately, The Knife and the Butterfly is a raw, violent, unrestrained story of two kids in trouble. Borrowing its own metaphor, this book is both knife and butterfly: it cuts deep and it’s uncompromisingly graphic but also compassionate and hopeful. ...more

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Aug 19, 2017 Sophie rated it really liked it

I really,really liked it. The ending made me so happy because it made me so sad and it was so unexpected. I love that throughout the whole book I was guessing and so was the Azael. I love that I discovered things as he did and I got to see what his world is like.

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Nov 04, 2011 Katelyn (Tales of Books and Bands) rated it it was amazing

Shelves: own, review-books, e-book, read-in-2012, 5-stars, young-adult

This book grabbed a hold of me from the very first page and if I am being completely honest, it still has a hold over me even days after reading it. I first fell in love with Ashley’s writing after reading What Can’t Wait. I learned that she has this impeccable ability to tie in beautiful, hopeful stories while also keeping it entertaining and realistic. The Knife and the Butterfly will anger you, make you happy, break your heart, and then put it together again. It is one emotional roller coaste This book grabbed a hold of me from the very first page and if I am being completely honest, it still has a hold over me even days after reading it. I first fell in love with Ashley’s writing after reading What Can’t Wait. I learned that she has this impeccable ability to tie in beautiful, hopeful stories while also keeping it entertaining and realistic. The Knife and the Butterfly will anger you, make you happy, break your heart, and then put it together again. It is one emotional roller coaster of a book that is 100% worth your time.

The story follows Azael, a 15-year-old boy who wakes up in a cell with no recollection of how he got there. To add to his utter confusion, this lock-up is not quite like the others he’s encountered. He doesn’t have a set schedule, he sometimes gets to talk to a few guards but they hardly ever release information, and he spends his days watching Lexi, a girl he knows absolutely nothing about. Lexi’s story is complicated and intertwined with Azael’s somehow and I spent the whole book trying to figure out just how. I love that we are learning the events of his incarceration right along with him. Every confusing moment, every new clue, every elusive comment is there to help us piece together Azael’s whole story.

The book is separated into “now” and “then” chapters and it is through this that we learn all about Azael’s tough childhood like the death of his mother and the deportation of his father. Azael and his brother Eddie spent their days hiding from Child Protective Services, scrounging for food, and trying to survive the gang life. Ashley paints a portrait of a very sad and depressing childhood but it is one that must be painted. She stays true to what I imagine the gang life to be like, very gritty and very dangerous, and it often times includes kids who seem to have no choice just like Azael and Eddie. The brother’s original reasons for joining the gang are unsure but I know the reasons they stayed in; they grew to like the trouble, the money, and the family aspect of it all. Sure the boys have friends that have their backs but they are also introduced to a life of crime that lands them in trouble time and time again including the situation Azael is now in.

Azael definitely has a tough exterior and he said a lot of things that made me squirm but that did not deter me from loving him. Here is this boy with a beautiful heart who got put in the worst of situations, a boy who really wanted to change his life around, and due to bad luck and even worse choices, he is put into this cell to try and figure out what is going on. How could your heart not go out to someone like that? The same goes for Lexi. At first I couldn’t stand the girl but the more we learn about her background, the more I understood the way she presented herself to people. She is a troubled girl thrown into a huge mess of a situation and she is scared to death of it. Both Azael’s and Lexi’s stories pulled at my heartstrings.

Ashley’s writing was beautiful throughout the whole book! Azael likes to throw around curse words and he talks in a manner that is not exactly flattering but that is where Ashley’s talent shines the most. She was able to be so extremely realistic, down to the smallest details like his word choice, yet she still provided such a beautiful story.

The Knife and the Butterfly takes you through a lot. There is grief, sadness, but there is also a sense of hope to the whole thing. I have said it before, and after reading this book I will say it time and time again, but I will forever be a fan of Ashley’s writing! ...more

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Aug 30, 2014 Dani rated it it was amazing

THE ENDING?!? WTF. By the last chapter or so... I knew what was happening, and I didn't want to accept it anymore than Azael wanted too.

The suspense in this book was masterfully interwoven into the interchanging scenes from Azael's present and past. This idea of time running out only made me ask more questions. I was in the same boat as Azael. All we knew was that he had to make a decision but we knew nothing about what this decision was except that it somehow correlated with this other girl wh THE ENDING?!? WTF. By the last chapter or so... I knew what was happening, and I didn't want to accept it anymore than Azael wanted too.

The suspense in this book was masterfully interwoven into the interchanging scenes from Azael's present and past. This idea of time running out only made me ask more questions. I was in the same boat as Azael. All we knew was that he had to make a decision but we knew nothing about what this decision was except that it somehow correlated with this other girl who is locked up with him. Somehow, these two unlikely people are connected by an event in their pasts, and Azael seems to be the only one who can't remember and the girl doesn't want to talk about it.

It creates this feeling of panic for Azael as people start to disappear from the cells around him, as people "move on" but he doesn't know where. This book had me up untill six in the morning just so that I could find out what happened, and what was going to happen to these two characters.

This wasn't a book based on action. It had a couple great fight scenes, after all its dealing with gangs, but this book was more than just about rumbles between gangs. This was a book built off characterization. Liza and Azael are two really messed up characters who've had shitty lives that just results in one shitty move to another. these kids don't have a lot to live for in life, and not a lot of people rooting for them to excel. As humans, so many of our actions are based off of the feedback we get from both those we do care about and even those we don't care about at all. But when everyone is in the same shitty situation as you, and the only feeling of unity you can achieve with these peers is to join them in a gang... it makes it hard to choose to live a straight life. For Azael, this is his reality. He's only got his brother. His sister moved away, his mother died and his father's gone. HIm and his brother turn to their friends, turn to a gang even if it means risking their lives in rumbles. With a life based off of aggression and violence, it makes it hard to choose the compassionate action, the one where no one gets hurt. For both Liza and Azael, so many of these choices based off of aggression have led up to this moment. Its at this point that a decision has to be made that will dictate their lives from now on. A decision that could be founded out of the hurt and pain of the past or founded in the hope for the future.

For them, it becomes a choice between the knife and the butterfly, no matter how hard that choice might be. ...more

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Dec 18, 2014 Christopher Ramirez added it

The Knife and the Butterfly by Ashley Hope Perez tells a story about a young teen named Azael who was in a gang called the MS-13 and finds himself in a juvenile cell again but this time he doesn't remember what he did to be in juvenile. But Azael things this girl named Lexi has something to do with it.

The Knife and the Butterfly is a novel beings with the two main characters, Azael and Lexi, they both have many thing in common they are both in a gang both do drug and both of them always make b ...more

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Apr 14, 2016 Kelly rated it liked it

Azael wakes up after a gang brawl in juvie. Or at least he thinks it's juvie. But this time, it's different. He has to watch this girl, Lexi, and he doesn't know why - she's in some kind of detention center, too. He figures there must be some kind of connection between him and this girl, but he doesn't know what it is. Piecing together their relation is what keeps the reader going. Well, that and the voices of the narrators.

Azael and Lexi have voices that are both their own and realistic represe ...more

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Jun 10, 2013 Shan Gogh; rated it really liked it

Though interesting in concept, with a mildly predictable but still good twist, The Knife and the Butterfly admittedly fell flat for me. My biggest issue was the voice, a male perspective that felt like it was trying entirely too hard. With the amount of focus on sex related stuff even at times that felt completely out of the blue and unnecessary, some of the specific terms used, and an almost overuse of swearing, this one felt like it was forcing both the male mind and the gangbanger elements in ...more

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Dec 18, 2015 Kathleen McKim rated it really liked it

I really enjoyed this book. The story was original, and the way the characters came together was very satisfying. There is a lot of realism and gang life going on in the book, so those concerned about language and graphic portrayal of violence may wan to beware. However, none of it is gratuitous. Rather, it adds to the setting of what a lot of inner city and first generation American kids deal with on a daily basis. Another book that can truly help you get into another person's skin and consider ...more

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Jul 12, 2012 Kristen Unger rated it really liked it

Shelves: classroom-library

For me, this is a book I could have easily abandoned early on. But boy am I glad that I stuck it through to the end. It has the kind of finish that clicks all the missing puzzle pieces into place, and while Perez does not shy away from realistically portraying the gritty world her characters embody, she still manages to tell a redemptive story.

My kids will love the very things early on that turned me off, and I will rest easy knowing that this is a story that is worth reading. I remain a big fan ...more

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Jun 10, 2016 Mars Smith rated it did not like it

Shelves: 2016-books-read, genre-fiction

The main character, Azael, wakes up in a cell. As he is locked away, he tries to remember how he got picked up. Azael has quite the attitude in the book. The language in the book was graphic and violent. I personally did not enjoy this book because I didn't care for the dialogue.

Pro: If you want to read a fictional book about gang members and being locked up, this is the book for you. Especially, if you are a young adult.

Con: After reading reviews of people who loved this book, I can conclude t ...more

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Mar 28, 2011 Aleeeeeza rated it it was ok

Shelves: arc-netgalley-galleygrab, 2012-read, 2012-release

Sooo as it happens I did end up finishing this book and um, W. T. F. was up with that ending? Not sure I understand it even now but regardless, I thought I would like this one so much more! It's gritty sure but I really did not connect with the characters and just didn't feel like a part of their world, you know? I did however like the setting--I'm a former Houstonite too, as it happens, so that was pretty coolio. :) ...more

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Jun 25, 2012 Diane rated it really liked it

Even if we can't change what's already happened, we all have the power within ourselves to change, at the very least, how we think and act in the future, and how we think and feel about ourselves in the present. As Azael does what he can to take control of his situation, as Lexi does her best to work through what's happened, both find an inner core of strength, and this helps them grasp at a sense of meaning in what often feels like a chaotic and rocky existence. ...more

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Apr 04, 2015 Izza rated it it was amazing

Shelves: my-favorites, the-very-best-books-ever

One of the most beautiful books I've read, ever...

"You know how sometimes the thing that sticks with you isn't that big a deal, or it wouldn't seem like it to everybody else, but to you it stands for everything that's busted up and sucky in your life?"
-Lexi

"That's how it is: you choose and you choose and you choose, and that's your life.That's what you are."
-Azael

...more

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Jan 27, 2015 Tyler rated it it was amazing

So far in the book "The Knife and the Butterfly" there are many conflicts going around at once. For example, one of them is that Azz(The main character) is trying to get his memory back to find out why and how he ended up in the penitentiary. And the way it's being solved has already been answered. He has to watch a random girl through a 1 way mirror, and see if she helps him remember!! ...more

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Sep 23, 2016 Tara rated it really liked it

This book tells the story of Azael, a Salvadoran gang member, and his experiences with juvie... a perspective that we usually don't get to see in too much young adult fiction. Holy moly was this book good and even though I finished it last night, the major twist still has me feeling shaken with the realization. ...more

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Feb 17, 2015 Jacqueline rated it it was amazing

Haunting book. I will never view graffiti art in the same way. The author does a wonderful job of portraying the complex emotional life of the teen characters.

Favorite quote from the book:
p. 172 "I draw to know my mind. Lexi writes to know hers." ...more

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Jan 29, 2012 Mrs. Kenyon rated it really liked it

Shelves: 2012-books, wannabees-13-14

All I can say is WOW! It caught me at the beginning and kept me the entire time. I wanted to know what was going on, and when I found out I was floored. A great read.

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Dec 29, 2018 Belinda rated it really liked it

Shelves: ya-social-issues

This novel will stick with you long after you have read it.

I saw some other reviews of it in which people say they felt no connection with the characters and no real character development and thus gave it a lower rating.

I have to say at first I felt the same towards both Azael and Lexi but as the story progressed I realised that of course we cannot form that connection. The way they think, their situations, the drugs, street life is not something that everyone can relate to. And that is fine. ...more

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Mar 14, 2022 Jordan McMahan rated it it was ok

This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here.

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Apr 15, 2018 Jamie Gregory rated it really liked it

15 year-old Azael ends up in jail after a fight breaks out between members of rival gangs. As part of MS-15, Azael has seen plenty of violence before. So he wishes he could remember how this one was different, but he just can't. In a startling move, he's forced to secretly watch another inmate, Lexi, as part of his punishment. Or is it supposed to help him remember? How are they linked? Is she the key to his freedom? You will want to read this book in one sitting as the truth start to unravel de ...more

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May 20, 2017 Heather Munao rated it really liked it

Shelves: boys

Technically, this is young adult fiction, but just like the author's other book Out of Darkness, it doesn't read that way at all. It is gritty and broken and very adult in nature. This book focused on the bad home life and the bad choices that lead to gang involvement. Through the alternating past flashbacks and scenes from the present, you appreciate what led Azael into trouble and who he could have been. I had a good idea of where the book was headed all along, but that's ok- that will speak t ...more

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Nov 22, 2016 Mandy rated it liked it

Shelves: contemporary, young-adult

A tough but affecting read. Sometimes for the content (there's a lot of coarse language,* and I'll never get used to 'females' being used as a noun), but DAMN, the part about the self-fulfilling prophecy of constantly being told you're not good enough was especially heartbreaking.

*I did, however, learn a few Spanish cuss words. And also lol at the idea of someone referring to their penis as a gun. ...more

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Nov 30, 2017 Forrest Franklin rated it really liked it

For a short-ish book that I️ picked up in a book sale by the bag, I️ was floored by this book. I️ typically can’t identify with certain themes (as presented in this book - no spoilers) but by the middle of this book I was as close to the main character as I️ could be. Holds out the payoff until almost the very end, and it’s very well executed. I would rate it 5 stars, but I️ feel there’s something missing. 4.75/5

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Jun 03, 2021 LisaSpecious rated it it was amazing

Interesting read. The story sucked me in from Page 1. The narrator is also well rounded; he is not a "Gary Lou" (i.e. he's smart but not made to be a genius, and he's not a "gangster with a heart of gold"); he's also not fetishized, and his flaws make him easy to relate to. I'm looking forward to reading more from this author. ...more

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Jul 07, 2019 Allison Sirovy rated it really liked it

This is a tough book to read. It’s depressing. I didn’t know if I could continue to read it, but I did. Not a light read at all, so recommend to only mature 8th graders and up. Ending? Had no clue that was coming.

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Mar 11, 2021 ☺️✨Giselle✨ rated it it was amazing

The story was the best I have read in a while. It had the best amount of suspense and it had my mind running laps, trying to understand what the hell was going on. Reading through it all was extremely worth it and the end had me on the verge of tears.

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Oct 13, 2021 cha rated it really liked it

The book was going a little slow in the beginning and middle but once it got towards the end I was genuinely surprised. This book was out of my preferred genre but it did intrigue me . Everything was so confusing in this book yet made sense . I did enjoy it . I will be reading more of her books.

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Apr 24, 2019 Lauren Herzog rated it really liked it

Interesting. Fictional novel based on true events of MS-13 gang activity in Houston. Gritty stuff.

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About Ashley Hope Pérez

Ashley Hope Pérez

193 followers

When I’m not reading, writing, or teaching, I hang out with my sons, Liam Miguel and Ethan Andrés. In the scraps of time that remain, I also like to run (I did the Houston Marathon in 2007 and the Chicago Marathon in 2009), bake (but let’s don’t revive the “Cookie Girl” nickname, please), watch movies, and collage.

My novels are WHAT CAN'T WAIT, THE KNIFE AND THE BUTTERFLY, and OUT OF DARKNESS, a ...more