What do you think?
4 Days to a Forever Marriage: Choosing Love or Anger
Would you invest 4 days to transform your relationship? Every day a married man or woman must make a choice . . . choosing love or anger . . . and it isn't as easy as it sounds. This unique book provides the guidance and perspective you need from marriage coaches Gary & Norma Smalley. They can help you begin living a more intimate and loving relationship that honors God and each other. Invest a little time over just four days to help get your relationship in balance and start reaping emotional and spiritual benefits.
- GenresMarriageNonfiction
112 pages, Hardcover
First published October 1, 2011
About the author
Gary Smalley
309 books124 followersGary Smalley was one of the country's best-known authors and speakers on family relationships. He was the award-winning, best-selling author or coauthor of sixteen books, as well as several popular films and videos. The Blessing and The Two Sides of Love have won Gold Medallions, The Language of Love won the Angel Award as the best contribution to family life, and his other titles have received Silver Medallions. His national infomercial Hidden Keys to Loving Relationships has been viewed by television audiences all over the world.
Dr. Greg Smalley graduated with his doctorate degree in clinical psychology from Rosemead School of Psychology at Biola University in Southern California. He also holds master's degrees in counseling psychology (Denver Seminary) and clinical psychology (Rosemead). Dr. Smalley is the director of research and development at Smalley Relationship Center in Branson, Missouri. He lives in Ozark, Missouri with his wife, Erin, and their two daughters, Taylor and Madalyn.
Dr. Greg Smalley graduated with his doctorate degree in clinical psychology from Rosemead School of Psychology at Biola University in Southern California. He also holds master's degrees in counseling psychology (Denver Seminary) and clinical psychology (Rosemead). Dr. Smalley is the director of research and development at Smalley Relationship Center in Branson, Missouri. He lives in Ozark, Missouri with his wife, Erin, and their two daughters, Taylor and Madalyn.
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Displaying 1 - 8 of 8 reviews
September 22, 2019
I liked reading and thinking about this idea that our weaknesses are usually our strengths, taken to the extreme. Very ponder-worthy.
August 17, 2012
There are a lot of really good tips contained in this book! They even did not leave out mentioning what I consider to be the most important points (more on this below).
I did not feel the title was accurate. I do not think it will take only four days to get a better marriage. Granted, they set it up as a four day study, so, yes, you learn the information in four days…but four days to a forever marriage—I think not.
Since the tips contained within this book seemed a little bit random to me, I would suggest you ask the Holy Spirit what is here for you as you read it and be sure to use the reflection questions at the end of each chapter—do not skip that part.
To read my ENTIRE review please visit:
http://www.cherylcope.com/4-days-to-a...
I did not feel the title was accurate. I do not think it will take only four days to get a better marriage. Granted, they set it up as a four day study, so, yes, you learn the information in four days…but four days to a forever marriage—I think not.
Since the tips contained within this book seemed a little bit random to me, I would suggest you ask the Holy Spirit what is here for you as you read it and be sure to use the reflection questions at the end of each chapter—do not skip that part.
To read my ENTIRE review please visit:
http://www.cherylcope.com/4-days-to-a...
February 6, 2012
After more than fourteen years of marriage, I am keenly aware of how little I knew about relationships and communication on the day my beautiful bride and I walked down the aisle. Nearly a decade and a half later, we are entering the latter part of our thirties. One of the harsh realities that has come to pass during the past few years is that the marriages of several friends and acquaintances have ended in divorce. We grieve for these losses and broken relationships, but we strive not to judge too harshly for it is but by God's grace and a series of key people and books that we have been fortunate enough to celebrate fourteen wedding anniversaries and counting.
Enough about me, let's talk about you. If you were to rate your marriage on a scale of one to ten, where would it fall? A nine, four, negative 3? How would your spouse rate your marriage? Chances are it would not be exactly the same. If we decided to dig a little deeper and have both you and your spouse make a list of the top three factors that contribute to your ratings, we would most likely expose some "growth areas" for your marriage. If we are willing to be honest with ourselves, the reality is that whether our marriage feels like a ten or a negative 3, there is always room to grow and improve our relationship with our spouse. That is precisely what Gary and Norma Smalley intend to help you do in their book 4 Days to a Forever Marriage.
In recent years, it seems that of the writing of marriage books there is no end. With such a wide variety of choices in front of you, it can be difficult to decide where to start. In my opinion, not all marriage books are created equal. It is important to understand who the author is and what he or she is about in order to know whether or not a particular book is right for you. Gary and Norma Smalley are credible authors for a book on marriage. They have been married for forty seven years and have counseled thousands of couples at the Smalley Relationship Center. Whether in their own marriage or in the marriages of those they have counseled, it would be fair to say that they have pretty much seen it all.
4 Days to a Forever Marriage is a tool designed to encourage couples to spend four days working to transform their marriage relationship. The basic concept the book builds upon is that as we interact with our spouse, we can choose to respond in either love or anger. Using that simple choice as the foundation, the book introduces a new relational concept in each chapter. The relational concepts are:
*Day 1: Loving Words and Actions
*Day 2: Communication and Resolving Anger
*Day 3: Affection and Intimacy
*Day 4: Trials and Treasures
The book draws heavily on Gary and Norma's relationship as it has been refined over the course of forty seven years. They share each of their perspectives on a given situation, which I found immensely helpful for a better understanding of how my wife would feel or respond in a similar situation. There are numerous scripture references in each chapter. I would strongly encourage readers to keep a Bible handy as they work through the book in order to maximize their reading experience. At the close of each chapter, there is a "For the Husband" and "For the Wife" section where readers are asked to summarize the principles they have learned in the chapter. Not only will this be valuable for helping each of you to thoroughly learn the concepts introduced in the book, it also presents an opportunity to have an honest discussion with your spouse about how these principles can be applied to your marriage relationship. Once you are finished with the readings for all four days, be sure to make use of the additional reading at the end of the book. I highly recommend the section addressing the different seasons of marriage: engaged couples, newly married couples, married with children, and empty nesters / remarriage. It will also be worthwhile to review a few tidbits they have included from a few of Gary's other books. My favorites were The Smalley "Fighting Rules," A Dozen Ways to Engage Your Spouse, and Romance on a Shredded Shoestring Budget.
Let me bring this review to a close with a bit of self-disclosure. In my reading diet, I tend to be a biblical and theological studies non-fiction reader, so I normally shy away from "marriage" and "relationship" books. I was a bit apprehensive as I began working through 4 Days to a Forever Marriage, but I soon realized that this book was different. Throughout the book, readers will encounter pictures of Gary, Norma, and their extended family. Each chapter is filled with personal commentary from both Gary and Norma making it very personable and accessible. It was almost like the Smalleys were sitting on a couch across from me having a discussion.
Now that I have gone through the book once for my review, I plan on going through it a second time with my wife as I know there is a lot our marriage will benefit from in this great little book. One suggestion for using this book is to work through it with your spouse like I am doing. A few other situations where this book would be of good use is a small group study, marriage retreat, and pastoral / Christian counseling. Let me close by expressing my heartfelt thanks to Gary and Norma Smalley for penning this fine little book. I pray that it would bear much fruit in Christian marriages for years to come.
Disclaimer: This book was provided by New Leaf Publishing Group for review. The reviewer was under no obligation to offer a favorable review.
Enough about me, let's talk about you. If you were to rate your marriage on a scale of one to ten, where would it fall? A nine, four, negative 3? How would your spouse rate your marriage? Chances are it would not be exactly the same. If we decided to dig a little deeper and have both you and your spouse make a list of the top three factors that contribute to your ratings, we would most likely expose some "growth areas" for your marriage. If we are willing to be honest with ourselves, the reality is that whether our marriage feels like a ten or a negative 3, there is always room to grow and improve our relationship with our spouse. That is precisely what Gary and Norma Smalley intend to help you do in their book 4 Days to a Forever Marriage.
In recent years, it seems that of the writing of marriage books there is no end. With such a wide variety of choices in front of you, it can be difficult to decide where to start. In my opinion, not all marriage books are created equal. It is important to understand who the author is and what he or she is about in order to know whether or not a particular book is right for you. Gary and Norma Smalley are credible authors for a book on marriage. They have been married for forty seven years and have counseled thousands of couples at the Smalley Relationship Center. Whether in their own marriage or in the marriages of those they have counseled, it would be fair to say that they have pretty much seen it all.
4 Days to a Forever Marriage is a tool designed to encourage couples to spend four days working to transform their marriage relationship. The basic concept the book builds upon is that as we interact with our spouse, we can choose to respond in either love or anger. Using that simple choice as the foundation, the book introduces a new relational concept in each chapter. The relational concepts are:
*Day 1: Loving Words and Actions
*Day 2: Communication and Resolving Anger
*Day 3: Affection and Intimacy
*Day 4: Trials and Treasures
The book draws heavily on Gary and Norma's relationship as it has been refined over the course of forty seven years. They share each of their perspectives on a given situation, which I found immensely helpful for a better understanding of how my wife would feel or respond in a similar situation. There are numerous scripture references in each chapter. I would strongly encourage readers to keep a Bible handy as they work through the book in order to maximize their reading experience. At the close of each chapter, there is a "For the Husband" and "For the Wife" section where readers are asked to summarize the principles they have learned in the chapter. Not only will this be valuable for helping each of you to thoroughly learn the concepts introduced in the book, it also presents an opportunity to have an honest discussion with your spouse about how these principles can be applied to your marriage relationship. Once you are finished with the readings for all four days, be sure to make use of the additional reading at the end of the book. I highly recommend the section addressing the different seasons of marriage: engaged couples, newly married couples, married with children, and empty nesters / remarriage. It will also be worthwhile to review a few tidbits they have included from a few of Gary's other books. My favorites were The Smalley "Fighting Rules," A Dozen Ways to Engage Your Spouse, and Romance on a Shredded Shoestring Budget.
Let me bring this review to a close with a bit of self-disclosure. In my reading diet, I tend to be a biblical and theological studies non-fiction reader, so I normally shy away from "marriage" and "relationship" books. I was a bit apprehensive as I began working through 4 Days to a Forever Marriage, but I soon realized that this book was different. Throughout the book, readers will encounter pictures of Gary, Norma, and their extended family. Each chapter is filled with personal commentary from both Gary and Norma making it very personable and accessible. It was almost like the Smalleys were sitting on a couch across from me having a discussion.
Now that I have gone through the book once for my review, I plan on going through it a second time with my wife as I know there is a lot our marriage will benefit from in this great little book. One suggestion for using this book is to work through it with your spouse like I am doing. A few other situations where this book would be of good use is a small group study, marriage retreat, and pastoral / Christian counseling. Let me close by expressing my heartfelt thanks to Gary and Norma Smalley for penning this fine little book. I pray that it would bear much fruit in Christian marriages for years to come.
Disclaimer: This book was provided by New Leaf Publishing Group for review. The reviewer was under no obligation to offer a favorable review.
December 22, 2011
4 days?
Could it be that easy?
In these days of uncertainty about the state of marriage and even the future of it, believe it or not, many still long to marry and remain married forever. If you don't believe me, check out this quick but enlightening article by History.com titled "Is Marriage History?"
With that in mind, the question still remains: "How is a forever marriage possible anymore?"
Could it be that making a simple yet difficult choice could be the key?
In 4 Days to a forever Marriage: choosing Love or Anger, Dr. Gary Smalley and his wife Norma propose that it is so.
The Smalleys not only have a lasting long-term marriage but also have helped countless other couples do the same. In this small but invaluable book, they have packed in practicality and honesty by letting us into some of the things they have learned together over the years---often the hard way. They do this in a conversational manner primarily so that it feels as if we are sitting in their living room with them gleaning from their years of wisdom as well as mistakes.
In this book, they structure it very simply by walking the reader(s) through four days---yes, only FOUR days---of learning practical ways of choosing love instead of anger in marriage as well as life in general.
Think about it. We truly do have a choice in how we respond in life. Often our own response to good or bad thing others have done or said to us is what determines how strong or weak that relationship grows. Though we truly feel we have the "right" to be angry when we are wronged (as we very well may), we still can choose instead to respond in love rather than wallowing and fuming in anger.
It is a tough concept, I know. Maybe that is why The Smalleys have chosen to give us this lesson in small, digestible bites. Whatever the case, they have done a marvelous job of being so transparent and basically reading my mind and most likely yours as well. True, they are not reading our minds, but that should bring comfort to us all to realize that our lives and struggles and emotions really aren't all that unique to each of us. I find comfort in realizing I am not alone in how I think and instinctively react to situations.
I pray that someday soon my husband and I can read this book together so that our marriage can grow even stronger as a result of learning together and communicating with each other about our journey toward choosing love over anger.
In the meantime, I do highly suggest that you and your spouse (or future spouse) glean from the wisdom, honesty and practicality presented to us by Dr. Gary and Norma Smalley in 4 Days to a forever Marriage.
Disclaimer: I received this book for free from New Leaf Publishing Group. No other compensation was received. The fact that I received a complimentary product does not guarantee a favorable review.
Could it be that easy?
In these days of uncertainty about the state of marriage and even the future of it, believe it or not, many still long to marry and remain married forever. If you don't believe me, check out this quick but enlightening article by History.com titled "Is Marriage History?"
With that in mind, the question still remains: "How is a forever marriage possible anymore?"
Could it be that making a simple yet difficult choice could be the key?
In 4 Days to a forever Marriage: choosing Love or Anger, Dr. Gary Smalley and his wife Norma propose that it is so.
The Smalleys not only have a lasting long-term marriage but also have helped countless other couples do the same. In this small but invaluable book, they have packed in practicality and honesty by letting us into some of the things they have learned together over the years---often the hard way. They do this in a conversational manner primarily so that it feels as if we are sitting in their living room with them gleaning from their years of wisdom as well as mistakes.
In this book, they structure it very simply by walking the reader(s) through four days---yes, only FOUR days---of learning practical ways of choosing love instead of anger in marriage as well as life in general.
Think about it. We truly do have a choice in how we respond in life. Often our own response to good or bad thing others have done or said to us is what determines how strong or weak that relationship grows. Though we truly feel we have the "right" to be angry when we are wronged (as we very well may), we still can choose instead to respond in love rather than wallowing and fuming in anger.
It is a tough concept, I know. Maybe that is why The Smalleys have chosen to give us this lesson in small, digestible bites. Whatever the case, they have done a marvelous job of being so transparent and basically reading my mind and most likely yours as well. True, they are not reading our minds, but that should bring comfort to us all to realize that our lives and struggles and emotions really aren't all that unique to each of us. I find comfort in realizing I am not alone in how I think and instinctively react to situations.
I pray that someday soon my husband and I can read this book together so that our marriage can grow even stronger as a result of learning together and communicating with each other about our journey toward choosing love over anger.
In the meantime, I do highly suggest that you and your spouse (or future spouse) glean from the wisdom, honesty and practicality presented to us by Dr. Gary and Norma Smalley in 4 Days to a forever Marriage.
Disclaimer: I received this book for free from New Leaf Publishing Group. No other compensation was received. The fact that I received a complimentary product does not guarantee a favorable review.
January 25, 2012
When New Leaf Press sent me a copy of Dr. Gary Smalley's newest book, 4 Days To A Forever Marriage, I was pretty excited.
I had read a few reviews of the book already, and was looking forward to getting a copy of my own to read.
I was not disappointed.
While the idea of improving your marriage in four days seems overly optimistic, the principles found here are priceless. These four steps are essential to creating a marriage environment that will succeed. However, in my experience, it will take a lot longer than four days to implement them fully. It may take me closer to 40 days.
That being said, I loved the book for it's excellent material, and it's easy readability. Crafted in such a fashion that you can read each chapter quickly and easily, each chapter contains input and material from both Gary and Norma. And the publishers have taken key statements and phrases and made them tweetable.
Subtitled Choosing Love Or Anger, the Smalleys have developed four action steps that will help build any marriage: Loving Words and Actions, Communication and Resolving Anger, Affection and Intimacy, and Trials and Treasures.
While each of these four areas are excellent in and of themselves, there are treasure troves of information and resources included in the back of the book; everything from rules for fighting to romance on a tight budget.
4 Days To A Forever Marriage is excellent. It will definitely be one of my go-to books on marriage.
I recommend that you pick up a copy today. It will be an excellent resource for any marriage relationship, whether just starting off, or seasoned by time. Grab a copy and read it. You won't be sorry!
What is the best book on marriage you've ever read? You can leave your thoughts in the comments section below.
I had read a few reviews of the book already, and was looking forward to getting a copy of my own to read.
I was not disappointed.
While the idea of improving your marriage in four days seems overly optimistic, the principles found here are priceless. These four steps are essential to creating a marriage environment that will succeed. However, in my experience, it will take a lot longer than four days to implement them fully. It may take me closer to 40 days.
That being said, I loved the book for it's excellent material, and it's easy readability. Crafted in such a fashion that you can read each chapter quickly and easily, each chapter contains input and material from both Gary and Norma. And the publishers have taken key statements and phrases and made them tweetable.
Subtitled Choosing Love Or Anger, the Smalleys have developed four action steps that will help build any marriage: Loving Words and Actions, Communication and Resolving Anger, Affection and Intimacy, and Trials and Treasures.
While each of these four areas are excellent in and of themselves, there are treasure troves of information and resources included in the back of the book; everything from rules for fighting to romance on a tight budget.
4 Days To A Forever Marriage is excellent. It will definitely be one of my go-to books on marriage.
I recommend that you pick up a copy today. It will be an excellent resource for any marriage relationship, whether just starting off, or seasoned by time. Grab a copy and read it. You won't be sorry!
What is the best book on marriage you've ever read? You can leave your thoughts in the comments section below.
December 17, 2011
« Study of I Peter: I Peter 2:11-25
Feb 4
Edit
“4 Days to a forever Marriage” by Dr. Gary and Norma Smalley
by ohiosarah on February 4, 2012
Who would have thought that in a 112 page book that there would be enough information to get your marriage back on track, or maybe even save it? Well this beautiful casebound book written by Dr. Gary Smalley and his wife, Norma is just that – another great addition to the New Leaf Press’ selection. This book is not for the faint of heart but if you really want to love your spouse and get that marriage back then start with the Smalley’s newest book.
Often my anger is the first response to whatever my husband does, and oh boy, did this book step on my toes! The book covers four areas of married life:
Day 1: Loving Words and Actions
Day 2: Communication and Resolving Anger
Day 3: Affection and Intimacy
Day 4: Trials and Treasures
However these aren’t the only things that are covered in this book. There is help given for whatever season of marriage you’re in such as engaged, newly married, married with children and empty nesters/remarriage. How to begin and use this book, “Five Key Scriptures”, the Smalley’s rules for fighting, date ideas for less than $20, and more. Can you really have a new marriage in just four days? I do believe that by implementing these ideas from 4 Days to a Forever Marriage that it is possible to enjoy your marriage and your spouse. Available for $16.99 from New Leaf Press.
**I was provided a copy of this book from New Leaf Press in exchange for my honest opinion, no other compensation was given.
Feb 4
Edit
“4 Days to a forever Marriage” by Dr. Gary and Norma Smalley
by ohiosarah on February 4, 2012
Who would have thought that in a 112 page book that there would be enough information to get your marriage back on track, or maybe even save it? Well this beautiful casebound book written by Dr. Gary Smalley and his wife, Norma is just that – another great addition to the New Leaf Press’ selection. This book is not for the faint of heart but if you really want to love your spouse and get that marriage back then start with the Smalley’s newest book.
Often my anger is the first response to whatever my husband does, and oh boy, did this book step on my toes! The book covers four areas of married life:
Day 1: Loving Words and Actions
Day 2: Communication and Resolving Anger
Day 3: Affection and Intimacy
Day 4: Trials and Treasures
However these aren’t the only things that are covered in this book. There is help given for whatever season of marriage you’re in such as engaged, newly married, married with children and empty nesters/remarriage. How to begin and use this book, “Five Key Scriptures”, the Smalley’s rules for fighting, date ideas for less than $20, and more. Can you really have a new marriage in just four days? I do believe that by implementing these ideas from 4 Days to a Forever Marriage that it is possible to enjoy your marriage and your spouse. Available for $16.99 from New Leaf Press.
**I was provided a copy of this book from New Leaf Press in exchange for my honest opinion, no other compensation was given.
July 14, 2015
I'm going to be extremely honest, when I saw this small book, I thought to myself, well it's going to be one of those books full of man made theories. However I was definitely wrong and I couldn't put this book down ... It was full of real marital advice that was felt every time, I turned a page. I've already ordered another one of their books and I'm going to recommend this one to a couple who's engaged, about to get married and/or misusing the term "Marriage" ... #GodBless,
April 11, 2013
This was a very good read! So practicle and full of time tested experience. My wife and I had to stretch the four days out to ten, but we fit this into our busy lives and around the kids. The study and discussion was great for our relationship even after almost ten years of marriage.
Displaying 1 - 8 of 8 reviews