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The Zillionaire Vampire Cowboy's Secret Werewolf Babies

3.41  ·  Rating details ·  233 ratings  ·  65 reviews
Theirs was a love that nature never intended. Bigger than Texas. Hotter than Hades. Weirder than…a lot of other things you might have read about up until now.

Self-made zillionaire Rock Fangsworthy is your typical Texas cowboy…well, sort of. Typical in that the only thing this lethally sexy lady-charmer with the hair trigger temper loves more than his horse is his ranch, T
Kindle Edition, 99 pages
Published May 27th 2011 by Nine Naughty Novelists
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3.41  · 
Rating details
 ·  233 ratings  ·  65 reviews

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I've heard that laughter is the best medicine... If that's true, I'm officially as healthy as the horse Rock Fangsworthy rode in on. I laughed constantly & loved every ridiculous moment of this absurd book!

It feels good when a book exceeds your expectations!
This book is written by a collective of authors known as the Nine Naughty Novelists, the authors took turns writing full chapters and I can only imagine how much fun it must have been for them to pass their work around to each other... I'
Laura the Highland Hussy

When I saw the title of this book I giggled a bit, as it is pretty ridiculous. Then I read a few reviews. "Oh, game on!" was all I could think.

I wanted a fun and fast read-I got it, boy did I get it. My cheeks hurt from smiling and laughing to myself. Obviously this book is poking fun at some of the stereotypical Romance novel cliches. There are 9 authors who each took a chapter, and it is so much fun-I can only imagine how much fun each author had emaili
Tina "IRead2Escape"
The Zillionaire Vampire Cowboy’s Secret Werewolf Babies by Nine Naughty Novelists is an absolute joy to read. This book was written by nine different authors (Juniper Bell, Meg Benjamin, Kate Davies, PG Forte, Kinsey W. Holley, Kelly Jamieson, Skylar Kade, Erin Nicholas & Sydney Somers) each taking a chapter or two and adding their own brand of style and humor to the story. Don’t get me wrong, if this book was an attempt at a serious story it would be epically bad. By the same token, since i ...more
VampireRomanceBooks ThatsErotica
Aug 10, 2011 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Recommends it for: yes
Recommended to VampireRomanceBooks ThatsErotica by: PG Forte
With such a crazy title as, The Zillionaire Vampire Cowboy’s Secret Werewolf Babies, I wasn’t sure how I was supposed to take the book seriously. Well, you aren’t supposed to! The authors actually have a warning in the book letting the reader know it’s a parody and not to be taken too seriously. Once I read that, I decided to just sit back and enjoy. I’m glad I did. I was already laughing before I got through the first paragraph. With character names like Rock Fangsworthy, Buffi Van Pelt, Billy ...more
Krissy P (Kris)
This book made me laugh my ass off. One of these days, I will give it the proper review it deserves.
I did not enjoy this at all. Too silly (not in a humorous way) to even contemplate to call it a story. What a waste of my limited time. :(
Mrs. Badass
Nov 02, 2011 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
:shakes head: *blames Mandi*

Funny book though :P:

Best .99 on Amazon right now. This extremely funny, parody of all things Romance and Paranormal, had me giggling the entire time I was reading it.

I can't even begin to review it, other than to say that if you need a good laugh, and mindless entertaining fun, then pick up the Zillionaire Vampire Cowboy's Secret Werewolf Babies...

OMG the title :Dies;


It was Unbelievable, very corny, laughable and a waste of time to read. It was unbelievably hilarious not to mention very predictable storyline.
Kellie Maddox-Ward
Apr 02, 2012 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: cowboys
This book was funny as! 9 different Authors wrote a chapter each, but they all maintained the "funness of it" are were able to take "the piss" out of the genre's. It was classic. Some of the stuff had me literally Laughing Out Loud or giggling out loud.

The main characters names are
Rock Fangsworthy- You Hero Cowboy Vampire Zillionaire
Buffi Van Pelt- The werewolf next door
Billy Bob Bobson --The Vampire Slayer
Chastity Feelsgood-- The Buckle Bunny who wants Rock

Here's some of the line's that m
Jun 04, 2014 rated it really liked it
I had the privilege of meeting 6 of the Naughty Novelists when I attended the RT Booklovers conference this year in New Orleans. After talking with them, I downloaded this book just for kicks and grins. It. Is. Wonderful.
This is not a "real" romance, this is a parody of bad romances. The character names, the terms they use for body parts, the blatant over acting, it all comes together like a bad soap opera, and I loved it. Honestly, it takes talent to be able to write that badly and st
Diane ~Firefly~
Fun tongue-in-cheek story by 9 authors taking turns writing the chapters. It took a ton of cliches and put them all in one story. Just the character names themselves are hilarious - Rock Fangsworthy, Buffi Van Pelt, Chastity Feelsgood and Billy Bob Bobson. Rock can't seem to ever remember if it's been 3 or 5 years since he last saw Buffi, plot points just conveniently occur (and mention the fact). For 99 cents, it is a fun, short read.
Fun! A silly parody that mixes romance genres with hilarious results.
I downloaded this because the first chapter had me cracking up, but while there were a few really funny scenes here and there, most of the jokes wore thin awfully fast. The authors' choice(s) to load down the romantic rival with cliches didn't help, either- the frequent goldigger/'bimbo' jokes at her expense got tired and irritating even faster than the rest of the humor.

Of the Nine Novelists, the only two whose chapters I really enjoyed were PG Forte and, to a lesser degree, Juniper Bell- the o
Betty Lambert
Nov 24, 2017 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
This book was soooo funny in spots and also very stupid in spots. I like the story line and there were like 8 authors, each doing a chapter and continuing the story line. Was a short pick me up story. There could have been a lot more editing done here but it didn't detract from the story. I recommend if you want a quick, funny, pick me up story...Quite interesting the way it was done.
3.5-4 stars

This was a pretty good story. Fair warning...this is not what I'd call a serious romance/erotica. This story is a fun and cheesy read. I give you the first paragraph of the story as an example:

"It was a dark and stormy night in Bloodsuck, Texas—the kind of night vampire cowboy Rock Fangsworthy loved best. All except for the stormy part. Too much rain made the brim of his Stetson go limp. And if there was one thing Rock wasn't, it was limp. He was rock hard, through and through, from t
╰⊱♥⊱╮ღ꧁Kathy,Ahmazing Book Faerie꧂ღ╭⊱♥≺
Five stars because it was so daft. I laughed all the way through, while the family looked at me like I was nuts!
What a great idea, Nine authors get together to write one book. it was totally crazy.

Set in BLOODSUCK, it is the story of ROCK FANGSWORTHY, The vampire with a blood phobia! The characters all have fantastically hilarious names, such as the Braveheart Brothers, Butch and Barkley (werewolves), Chastity Feelsgood, Billy Bob Bobson, and Buffi Von Pelt. Buffi being the mama of the Zilliona
A Voracious Reader (a.k.a. Carol)
*Book source ~ Picked up for free on Amazon.

Rock Fangsworthy is a vampire, a zillionaire and a cowboy who owns The Double Fang ranch in Bloodsuck Texas. He’s also a daddy to twins though that’s something he doesn’t know. Yet.

Buffy Van Pelt is Rock’s neighbor and has inherited The Best Little Winery in Bloodsuck. She’s also a werewolf and broke. If she can’t pull the winery up by it’s grape vines she and her twins will starve or be forced to sell to Rock. Neither option is pleasant.

Rock and Buf
Oct 14, 2011 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: friendable, vampires
With nine writers sharing the writing The Zillionaire Vampire Cowboy's Secret Werewolf Babies is over the top silly so be prepared. This quick goofy fun read parodies all those Harlequin millionaire secret baby books and throws in a hefty dose of the paranormal.

A coop effort by authors Juniper Bell, Meg Benjamin, Kate Davies, PG forte, Kensey W. Holly, Kelly Jamieson, Skylar Kade, Erin Nicholas, and Sydney Somers, manages to achieve a pretty consistent voice as the authors take turns cycling th
Jul 20, 2012 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
This was $.99 on Amazon, and a big thanks to Aravis for recommending it!

It's not deep reading, obviously. I mean, any zillionaire (that's more than a billionaire, right?) vampire allergic to blood isn't going to be one of your more serious heroes. Particularly not if he's thinking about getting a theme song, like "We Will Rock You" (his name is Rock Fangsworthy, of the Double Fang Ranch). There's the girlfriend, Chastity, a human with Triple D cups (sort of... blame the plastic surgeon), his for
The BookChick
Sep 21, 2011 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: 4-star-read
This book was cheesy and corny but………LAUGH OUT LOUD hilarious. Madcap humor at its best! For anyone who thought this book might have been stupid, the title alone should have provided some indication that you were not going to get a life-altering story; it promised humor, plain and simple. And with characters like Chastity Feelsgood, Rock Fangsworthy, Buffi Van Pelt, and Billy Bob Bobson, you knew you were in for a wild ride. The fact that Rock, a vampire, was hemophobic (afraid of blood) was abs ...more
Reagan Whitten
This book is actually written by "Nine Naughty Novelists" who are various romance authors who must have gotten together over a huge pitcher of margaritas to write this puppy. Let me just say I really did LOL. DO NOT judge this book by its cover or its lengthy name; it is totally worth the read :)
This is the story about Rock Fangsworthy (the zillionaire vampire cowboy) who lives in Bloodsuck, TX & has everything he ever wanted except this little piece of land; The Best Little Winery in Bloods
Aug 27, 2011 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
What Does A Billionaire Vampire Do When After Years Of Longing And Trying To Forget The Only Woman In His Two Hundred Years Do When He Discovers That She Inherited A Parcel Of Land That Should Have Been His Do? Rock Fangsworth Vowed To It Back.......

Buffi Van Pelt Inherited The Winery From Her Grandmother But She Had No Intention Of Going Back To Bloodsuck Texas! Unfortunately, She Lost Her Job And Had No Place To Go. She Left After A Stormy Affair With Rock Fangsworth, Only To Discover That She
Beckyloohoo Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ aka Mrs. Acheron Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ
First of all you need to remember to take this book as it's intended - very tongue-in-cheek and silly. The nine authors who contributed to this book knew they weren't writing the great american novel. They wanted it be cheesy and it is. But, that's what makes this a fun, quick read.

Second, the story. It's the tale of a (you guessed it) vampire cowboy. But he's not your average horse-riding vamp. He's also a zillionaire who is dating a natural dumb blonde with unnatural double d's. Imagine his s
Aug 25, 2011 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Recommends it for: paranormal romance readers, people with a funny bone(r)
Ok, this was a hoot! What a fun project-- having nine uber-talented novelists lay down chapters of over-the-top naughty delights? I was guffawing my ass off reading this, and will definitely recommend it for out-loud reading during our polybifemme slumber parties. Just one of the many hilarious gems:

"But how could she do that to her babies' daddy, the man whose love-pole had vaulted her into motherhood? The man whose seed had sprouted within her, bearing such beautiful furry fruit?"

Kudos to the
Beverly Diehl
If you read a lot of romance (or even if you don't) and are looking for something short, light and tasty, this novella will hit the spot. So many clever little ideas in this parody, from the vampire who's afraid of blood, to the gold digger with the not-quite-right boob job.

Loved the werewolf toddlers chewing up the expensive shoes, the Double Fang ranch that is NOT enough like Southfork (from Dallas) and the way the NINE different authors managed to tell a relatively coherent story. Some bits w
Nov 05, 2011 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Very cute, tongue in cheek PNR story. Every bad term ever used to describe body parts is used in this book in a hilarious way, love popcicle included. ;) Plus some very memorable character names like our hero Rock Fangsworthy, his lady love Buffi Van Pelt and the other woman Chastity Feelgood.

It is a jointly written book. Each chapter is written by a different author. So, it really does read like a improv sketch, one taking over the story from another and telling it with a different tone. I am
I barely got through two paragraphs in the first chapter before I started laughing. My mother asked me what was so funny, so I went back to the beginning and read the entire thing out loud to her in one day. We sat on the couch as I read what I called the 'Saga of the Zillionaire Vampire Cowboy's Secret Werewolf Babies' dramatically out loud and laughed our collective asses off. It sounds like bad daytime television but it's so funny.

If you want to read something just to laugh at, I would say re
Rachel Tsoumbakos
I found this book a delight to read - but then again, I really enjoy vampire and werewolf books that don't take themselves too seriously! And this book certainly doesn't try to be serious about it's chosen topic. I found the plot completely contrived and the characters larger than life - which is every thing you want and need in a parody.

If you're a serious Stephenie Meyer fan, you may not want to pick this book up, but everyone else who is either over the whole Team Vampire vs. Team Werewolf or
Dicey Grenor
Jun 23, 2012 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
I read up to 15% some time ago and didn't really get into it, so I put it down and read a few more books before coming back to it. That did the trick. I must have been in a much better mood, because this book had me hollering in some parts. Hilarious! Even the author biographies are funny. I went back to read the beginning again to make sure I got the full effect once I was in the right head space for this book. If you're in the mood to laugh (or have had a few drinks), pick this one up. It is a ...more
Oct 29, 2015 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
The Zillionaire Vampire Cowboy's Secret Werewolf Babies is certainly a fast read but the story has a lot of cohesiveness and somehow despite this being written by a lot of novelists it does not come off as scattered.

The Zillionaire Vampire Cowboy's Secret Werewolf Babies is utterly funny and manages to use the myths of vampires and werewolves in some new ways. That in itself is surprising. Amazing read.
Overall: Amazing read!
Genre: Supernatural, Erotica, Romance

Contains: A lot of sex scenes.
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Meet the Naughties

Hi, I’m Juniper Bell, and thanks for visiting my web site. Here’s a little about me: I live in a cabin in Alaska, eleven miles from the nearest town. My sweetie and I are building a home here, which we hope will someday have running water. For now, the spectacular views of glaciers, the peace, the pure air, and the occasional visiting moose will have to do. I’ve been writing erot
“He was a moth to her flame, a marshmallow to her campfire, a redneck to her bottle rocket...” 1 likes
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