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Social Skills

Sara Alva (Goodreads Author)

3.93 · Rating details · 3,015 ratings · 346 reviews

Music is the only form of communication Connor Owens controls. No matter how badly he wishes to fit in, friendly banter and casual conversations have never been his thing. College is yet another social universe he has no clue how to navigate—until he meets Jared, a football player with chestnut eyes and a cocky grin that holds the power to shatter his self-imposed prison. ...more

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Paperback, 357 pages

Published January 23rd 2013 (first published January 22nd 2013)

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3.93 ·

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· 3,015 ratings · 346 reviews

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Jan 22, 2013 Susan rated it really liked it

Recommended to Susan by: Dani Alexander

3.5+ stars…really enjoyable…

Oh Connor…dear sweet Connor. I have invited you into my “House of the Huggables” to live with Ryan from the ICoS series and Parker from "American Love Songs". I will love and spoil and take care of the three of you and lavish many hugs…not in the dirty, perverted, older woman way…but more in the I-heart-you-like-a-teddy-bear-way (ummm…maybe no less creepy)

I heart Connor. Painfully shy and lonely…uncertain, with barely a sliver of self-esteem…except when he gets lost i ...more

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Feb 19, 2012 Dani Alexander rated it it was amazing

Recommends it for: everyone

Shelves: favorites

Let me preface this review by saying this is a friend of mine. Let me also add that I became friends with this author because of this story. My love for it sparked an email exchange and that grew into friendship.

That said, I love this story. This is a slow moving story. A quiet one with subtle bits of brilliance in every paragraph. It is a true romance and a coming of age story about Connor, a shy violinist who has low self esteem and falls in love with someone who has self-esteem issues of his ...more

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Mar 03, 2013 Mark rated it it was amazing · review of another edition

Shelves: gay-fiction, ya

This is a wonderful story of coming out, first-time love , first-love heartbreak and basically many “firsts” all happening at once.

Connor is in his first year at UVA, but the only thing he really feels safe with is his music and his violin. Painfully shy and socially awkward he finds solace in his music where he can run from the demands put on him by having to socialise at college. He is effectively a bit of a loner, a very sweet one admittedly, however playing in an orchestra is a social thing This is a wonderful story of coming out, first-time love , first-love heartbreak and basically many “firsts” all happening at once.

Connor is in his first year at UVA, but the only thing he really feels safe with is his music and his violin. Painfully shy and socially awkward he finds solace in his music where he can run from the demands put on him by having to socialise at college. He is effectively a bit of a loner, a very sweet one admittedly, however playing in an orchestra is a social thing so he soon makes a friend, Rebecca, and with her finds himself a group of friends where at least he feels a little comfortable with.

I loved Connor sweet, innocent (yes, when he arrived at college he was still a virgin), a gentle soul, but I found his low self-esteem and panic around crowds excruciating. I could really feel his anxiety and embarrassment which has tendencies going on to panic attacks. He constantly berates himself in his thoughts, second guesses himself and gets angry with himself at his lack of social skills! The author let me really get into Connor’s thoughts and feelings with marvellous coherent writing. All this shyness must come from somewhere, maybe some things are inherent and genetic, but then.......

Then you meet Connor’s mother – it all becomes totally clear why Connor is the way he is. His mother is totally over-bearing, dominant, demanding, manipulative, dictatorial and, and..........words fail me. No wonder the boy is so shy. Connor's father isn’t much help either as he is just as much under the thumb as Connor. The only one who really knows how to cope with his Mum is his thirteen year old younger sister. At first she comes across as your normal irksome little sister, but later I learned to like her A LOT! Connor’s parent’s has his complete life planned out for him and he doesn’t even get a say in what he wants. I know for a lot of people this character of Connor’s domineering mother maybe a little stereotypical, but this is necessary to understand Connor, the way he is and where he’s coming from, and I guess such mother’s also really exist.

OK, back to college ~ Connor his a high achiever! Connor's anthropology teacher suggests he gives remedial lessons. I also thought that the lecturer here was also thinking about trying to bring Connor out of his shell a little. He gets glittlesto football jocks, Michael and Jared to tutor. Although Michael drops out, Jared still keeps coming to his class with Connor and it’s obvious there is something more there than just remedial teaching sessions.

The attraction grows and the rest is history so to speak. It is now a journey full of discovery, high emotion and changes. First Jared tries to keep their relationship secret, can’t have a gay football star, can we? Connor wants more than a closeted football player can give and this leads to a break-up. At this point I could have cried buckets for Connor, there is nothing worse than breaking up with the first big-love in your life. Oh the hurt! Connor now pulls himself together with the help of Rebecca and starts a new life at college, still a little shy, but you can definitely start to see the change. This time it’s Jared’s turn, he realises how much he misses Connor and tries to win him back, but then Jared is outed! MAJOR DISASTER for the football player. Now not used to dealing with “not being the popular guy” Connor needs to treat him gently and help nurture Jared’s hurt ego and dealing with snide remarks from his friends.

Coming out is a very different experience for everyone. Here the author takes two examples, Connor choosing to out himself and Jared being outed involuntarily. I found this a nice contrast and plot device. Making Jared now the one needing help from Connor, whereas before it was the other way round. Coming out can be a traumatic affair and in this book we get to read both sides of the coin and its effects. Some people being more accepting than others, Jared has to learn that if he loses friends now that they were never really true friends to begin with, the question is will Jared be able to cope with his outing. I also liked the way the author handled the different reactions of the parents. Jared's mum being understanding, although upset, accepts her son's sexuality, but Connor's parents are indifferent and cold. Here Connor's sister comes up trumps. This is a very true to life situation and the most harrowing part about coming out is the reaction of parents for many young people.

I loved this book as the characters felt real. Yes, they were young, all around 18 to 20, but oh the emotional turmoil of being a young adult. The author conveys these feelings wonderfully and delivers a believable and heart warming story.

...more

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Dec 02, 2013 Sheziss rated it it was ok

Shelves: 2000s, everybody-loved-but-sheziss, read-in-2013, homo-young-adult, english, music, homo-contemporary, m-m, usa, i-wont-repeat-with-this-author

I was bored to tears with this.

Sorry but not sorry, I couldn't enjoy this. Boredom, pure boredom. Dull and empty. Tedious and uninteresting. I'm not even mad! I need to feel the MCs' lives are exciting in all their mediocrity. But I couldn't connect with them in any form. I couldn't understand why they fall in love with each other. They are totally forgettable because they didn't start any emotion. The story is just blah. I have to think really hard to find something I liked, but I just don't wa ...more

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Jun 28, 2015 Jewel rated it it was amazing

Shelves: mm, favorites, z-2016-300-399, contemporary, five-stars, favorite-mm

I knew I was in trouble with this book about the time I started feeling really protective of Connor like he was my little brother. Connor suffers from social anxiety and he's really introverted. The only time he really feels in control is when he is playing his violin. And he is good. Really good.

Getting to college is supposed to offer young adults freedom, but for Connor, it was just a larger form of high school. Until, that is, he is befriended by his stand mate from orchestra and he gets tas I knew I was in trouble with this book about the time I started feeling really protective of Connor like he was my little brother. Connor suffers from social anxiety and he's really introverted. The only time he really feels in control is when he is playing his violin. And he is good. Really good.

Getting to college is supposed to offer young adults freedom, but for Connor, it was just a larger form of high school. Until, that is, he is befriended by his stand mate from orchestra and he gets tasked with tutoring a couple football players for his anthropology class. Out of his element? Oh, yes. But Connor finds a way through his anxiety and shyness. Eventually.

Jared is one of the football players Connor is tutoring. Jared seems to want to understand the material, but he has such a hard time staying awake in class, much less making it through all the reading. His football schedule and social activities with his jock friends take up an enormous amount of time. But he certainly does not have trouble paying attention to Connor.

The problem is, Jared is very much in the closet and isn't really interested in coming out. He initiates a relationship with super shy Connor knowing that Connor was shy with people and really didn't trust easily. Let me tell ya, I wanted to shake Jared for not treating Connor like he deserved to be treated. The thing is, though, Jared wasn't using Connor for sex. Not at all. He was a scared, closeted boy and the thought of being out more than terrified him. But he was also kind to people and especially to Connor.

When the inevitable breakup happened because Jared was terrified of people finding out he was gay, I wanted to give him what for. I was angry that he was hurting my little brother. He was also hurting himself. But then, it was exactly what Connor needed to start to come out of his shell and realize his self worth. There is nothing like a first love, and there is nothing like the pain when it goes wrong.

What I really loved was how their dynamic really developed when they reconnected. Connor was so much more sure of himself where Jared was in uncharted waters. It was so beautiful.

So, yeah, Social Skills started strong and finished so much stronger. Just like Connor and Jared. Very highly recommended. ...more

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Feb 06, 2013 T.A. Webb rated it it was amazing

More to follow...

...but this was me in my freshman year in college. I had a little more people skills than Connor, but as I read this charming, insightful book, my heart ached for the boy I was.

Watching him grow throughout the book was so familiar.

Sometimes, a book just hits that note that rings through your whole body, and this was one of those books for me. It won't be everyone's favorite, but it is mine.

Tom

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Jan 22, 2013 Ami rated it liked it · review of another edition

Recommended to Ami by: Dani Alexander

Shelves: mm-young-or-new-adult

Two days after I finished, I realized I haven't written my full thoughts on it *lol*. Okay, Never read the free version -- so I don't know how different this is or whether it has been significantly reedited and revamped. This rating is for the published edition.

This is quite a long one ... and at times, I feel that the book is dragging. While most of the times, I feel for Connor and his struggle over his shyness, to be better at his social skills, but other times I get frustrated with his relati ...more

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Mar 02, 2013 Macky rated it it was amazing · review of another edition

A lovely addition to the Jock/Geek stories that Ive been reading and thoroughly enjoying recently. I think this is definitely my favourite up to now. A lot of these J/G stories can be carbon copies of each other so its what an author does with the bits in between that either makes it run of the mill or a cut above the rest and Sara Alva makes this special by plumping it out with believable characters, great background plots and two MC's who grabbed this readers heart from the word go.

To be hones A lovely addition to the Jock/Geek stories that Ive been reading and thoroughly enjoying recently. I think this is definitely my favourite up to now. A lot of these J/G stories can be carbon copies of each other so its what an author does with the bits in between that either makes it run of the mill or a cut above the rest and Sara Alva makes this special by plumping it out with believable characters, great background plots and two MC's who grabbed this readers heart from the word go.

To be honest this follows exactly the same trope as most. Young, introverted gay guy goes to college and ends up tutoring and falling in love with gorgeous, popular ' straight' jock, with popular girlfriend. Over time the jock starts to show interest in more than friendship so they start a secret relationship but because Jock is closeted there are heartbreaks and misunderstandings and lots of emotional ups and downs .That's taking it down to its bare basics but as I said this lovely college romance is so much more than that and Its all down to the endearing characters of Connor and Jared, who I fell in love with the moment both of them appeared.

Connor I just wanted to jump into the book for, so I could give him loads of loves and hugs because he's so introverted and shy. His music is his lifeline and is the catalyst for him making his first friend, a lovely caring character, Rebecca, who I liked very much. She helps him to come out of his shell and make some tentative friendships that strengthen over the course of the book and she's always there for him as a shoulder to cry on.He doesn't have a great relationship with his parents or sibling and he too is hiding the fact that he's gay from them, fearing their reactions. I immediately fell in love with Jared even though he had me smiling and sighing contentedly one minute then gnashing and chomping my teeth in another. I could see why Connor fell so fast for him, but of course Jared's story is not all it seems and his refusal to come out of the closet (that he's even more deeply locked in than Connor) has repercussions on their relationship, so they have a very bumpy roller coaster ride. Its a hard earned HEA but it left me smiling and contented and I adored every bump they had to endure!

The love scenes are quite explicit but not in your face, they're written very tastefully, so as its set around late teens I'd still class it as YA but the mature end. The protags are around the ages of 18/19 so obviously they're not clueless about sex, these are young consenting adults! I loved this and will definitely read it again. Big heartfelt thumbs up! ...more

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Feb 24, 2013 ☆ Todd rated it it was amazing

Shelves: favorites

I really loved how the characters interacted. Connor learning through Jared that he can overcome his fears. and self-imposed exile. Jared learning through Connor that his love for Connor is more important than what anyone else might think.

It was nice to see how each character ended up unselfishly giving just as much as they took from the other, leaving both of them much more confident and happier than they ever were without one another.

A crazy (ex?) girlfriend and complete asshole parents provi ...more

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Apr 24, 2013 Deeze rated it it was amazing · review of another edition

Shelves: favorites

A wonderful story full of real people and real situations.

Connor really captured my heart. Maybe because I can fully understand his shyness and always being on the edge of the crowd. One of the earlier scenes where Connor tried to mix and quickly found himself alone again sealed my love for him.

Jared I had less love for. I understand he was scared, and totally out of his element but I still found his reactions selfish and hurtful. Right from the beginning he treated Connor as someone he was ash ...more

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Feb 03, 2013 Mandy*reads obsessively* rated it really liked it

Shelves: geek-mc, sweet, hurt-comfort-disability, adventure, ebook-owned, evil-females, friends-to-lovers, sniffle, abuse-trauma, closet

I bought the published version and at $2.99 for about 95000 words it is definitely a great buy.
But I am also a little torn on how I feel about this story. I think it's because I feel so protective and care so much about Connor, that I want the absolute best for him, and I'm just not sure if this is it...

Connor is painfully shy and has quite a bit of social anxiety, and it felt painful to me just reading about it, I can't even imagine what he was going through.
Now, his parents continue to harp o I bought the published version and at $2.99 for about 95000 words it is definitely a great buy.
But I am also a little torn on how I feel about this story. I think it's because I feel so protective and care so much about Connor, that I want the absolute best for him, and I'm just not sure if this is it...

Connor is painfully shy and has quite a bit of social anxiety, and it felt painful to me just reading about it, I can't even imagine what he was going through.
Now, his parents continue to harp on him to be more social etc...they lived with this boy for 18 years and they think what? Ok whatever, the mother is portrait as a harpy and overbearing and the dad is cold and distanced.
At least the little sister is far better than we are lead to believe at the beginning.

So poor Connor, who only really thrives and relaxes when he plays his violin ( and the parts where he thinks of his music, is playing his music, where I feel his love for it, was some of the most enjoyable for me .)
He meets Rebecca who 'adopts' him as a friend whether he wants it or not and he gets a little group of fun, quirky people who like him just as he is, even if it takes him a long time to realize that.
Rebecca was a favorite of mine in this book, I'm sure it's because she gives Connor the hugs and love I wanted him to have.

He also meets Jared. I'm a bit of two minds on Jared, on the one hand he really helps Connor work on leaving his shell, both intentionally and unintentionally. He is pretty honest with Connor as to what he can expect from him and is pretty clear as to where Connor fits into his life. It's because this story is told from Connor's POV and he is such a sweet and hurting young man, that I get angry on his behalf on the way Jared 'fits' Connor into his life.
I want more for Connor, he deserves it, but I also realize Jared is a young man too and maybe I shouldn't expect so much of him, just because Connor sees him as close to perfect and strong, does not mean he is.
I was so glad when it all came to a head, and as much as Connor suffered, I do believe it was what he needed to take that final step into being himself and feeling more confident.

Jared again, I would have felt better of he had 'owned' his situation a little more.
He never 'came out' he never actually says it to anyone..he either gives 'pointed looks' or 'I'm with Connor' everything else was forced on him, I know he was working up to it, but...how or what would have happened if Veronica hadn't done what she did?
I also really missed seeing him really, really grovel ...again, I realize he's just as young as Connor, but boy, he suffered yes, but not because of Connor, and I really think he needed to grovel and apologize to Connor more and I for one, would have liked a 'big gesture' on his part. He's lucky Connor is such a sweetheart.

The Veronica situation...I'm not even sure where to go with that. I want Ray to get a really good guy. ( Ben? LOL)
And was it just me or because it's from Connor's POV, but with the exception of Jared's Mom all the adults were horrible, petty and mean.
I thought some of the day-to -day stuff could have been cut out and the ending been maybe a bit more 'settled', I'm not sure if these two are really going to make it and I want them too.
Connor didn't get to really be happy and feel good about himself until close to the very end and after suffering with him for so long I wanted a bit more of that.
I felt a little let down at the end because of that I think, don't get me wrong, I liked the story a lot, but I just didn't feel that the pain and growth Connor ( and even Jared) went through gave them enough contentment and happiness by the end...maybe I am just asking too much. ...more

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Apr 06, 2013 Kaje Harper rated it really liked it

Shelves: m-m, favorites, ya

This is a slow-building, sometimes-emotional story of a shy, socially-inhibited gay young man in his first year of college. I really enjoyed it, sometimes despite an ache of fellow-feeling in my chest. Because I was Connor at that age, only worse (albeit neither male nor gay). I could sympathize with the moments of pain and frustration in trying to figure out how the hell other human beings ever knew how to have normal social interactions.

Connor's problems are compounded by falling in love with This is a slow-building, sometimes-emotional story of a shy, socially-inhibited gay young man in his first year of college. I really enjoyed it, sometimes despite an ache of fellow-feeling in my chest. Because I was Connor at that age, only worse (albeit neither male nor gay). I could sympathize with the moments of pain and frustration in trying to figure out how the hell other human beings ever knew how to have normal social interactions.

Connor's problems are compounded by falling in love with Jared, a closeted jock with bigoted friends and an intense need to be "the man of the family" since his father's death. Jared has tried to be bi, but is becoming certain he's not interested enough in girls, and is starting to identify as gay. He likes Connor, and takes obvious satisfaction at filling the void that exists in Connor's lonely life, but doesn't want to be publicly together at all. This puts Jared's fears and wishes in conflict with the things Connor needs to do, to be true to who he is and come out into the light as his own person.

Connor is helped a lot by his friendship with Rebecca, who accepts his shyness, and later his gayness, and pushes him just enough to move him forward. (I didn't envy him a love interest, but I'd have killed for a friend like that. Maybe she was out there and by never eating in the cafeteria, I missed her...)

Some readers may be annoyed with Jared, but I thought with his age and situation and fears, his blowing hot and cold, seeking attachment and then pushing Connor away, rang true. It was hurtful, but felt real and seemed like the best coping Jared was able to do at any given moment. Even his inability to deal with an old girlfriend who clings to him seemed true to life. The path of least resistance is always appealing, and guys tend to hate scenes and drama. Plus he felt responsibility for her. I was actually pleased (for the sake of the story) that he had feet of clay appropriate to a young college guy.

This book could be considered YA, given the characters' ages and the coming-out/coming-of-age themes. The sex content skirts my limit for YA, being on page and clear, but it is fairly short and not erotic. In the way it happens, as part of a developing relationship, I think it is appropriate. I would definitely recommend this to older YA readers, with just the caution that it has that content. ...more

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Mar 01, 2014 Mona rated it it was amazing

Shelves: favorites, fucking-awesome, m-m

After reading this book, I really don't understand why it hasn't received higher ratings, because I simply LOVED it!!

And this is how my experience went...

The beginning...

The middle...

My feels to certain characters...

The end...
description

So, there you have it mates...I loved this and yes I would recommend it xx

An awesome pressie from my amazing and beautiful friend, Ingela

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May 14, 2019 Daniel rated it it was amazing · review of another edition

Shelves: contemporary, mm

How the hell is this not on my shelves? I might believe you if you told me I didn't review it, cuz reasons, but I refuse to believe I didn't at least shelve it as read. WTF.

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Apr 02, 2013 Jeff Erno rated it it was amazing

Shelves: gay-romance, best-of-2013, young-adult, gay-coming-out, gay-themed-young-adult

Social Skills is the story of Connor, a college freshman who wages a constant battle against social anxiety. His shyness and introversion, added to his diminutive stature and average looks, contribute to an extremely low self-esteem. Connor is also gay. When he begins tutoring Jared, a member of the school's football team, his same-sex attractions surface and a romance blossoms. Jared becomes Connor's security blanket, initially helping him overcome some of his anxiety but ultimately leading to Social Skills is the story of Connor, a college freshman who wages a constant battle against social anxiety. His shyness and introversion, added to his diminutive stature and average looks, contribute to an extremely low self-esteem. Connor is also gay. When he begins tutoring Jared, a member of the school's football team, his same-sex attractions surface and a romance blossoms. Jared becomes Connor's security blanket, initially helping him overcome some of his anxiety but ultimately leading to an unbalanced, one-sided relationship in which Connor depends upon Jared to offer assurance, guidance, and a feeling of self-worth. It's when Jared, still in the closet, decides to end the relationship, that Connor finally has to develop the skills to conquer his own social challenges.

This beautifully crafted story was artfully presented, conveying a hopeful message of self-acceptance, forgiveness, and determination. The story was told in the third person narrative, entirely from Connor's point of view, and was in no way preachy or didactic. It was just a story, a slice of life. And by learning about this amazing young man, I felt I learned so much about myself and about others who struggle with self-esteem issues.

Yes, it pulled on my heartstrings, and in this sense I knew the author was manipulating my emotions. But I didn't feel it was in any way heavy handed. I felt Connor's pain because I got to know him. I got to see inside of his head and heart.

There were times I was frustrated. I wanted Connor to stand up to his overbearing mother. I wanted him to kick Jared to the curb on more than one occasion. I wanted him to speak up for himself and quit being a doormat. But who effin cares what I wanted?? The point is that this is a real story about a realistic character--one with limitations and flaws and challenges. As much as I wanted Connor to be stronger, I understood why he was the way he was.

One thing I especially appreciated about the story was that it did not seem to be making the case that introversion, in and of itself, was a bad thing. Connor was absolutely beautiful. He possessed amazing talent, above average intelligence, and a tremendous level of empathy. He was compassionate, loyal, generous, and humble. In a nutshell, he was a person I'd cherish with all my heart as a dear friend, and I'd be honored to have him in my life. None of these things--and especially not his sensitivity--were traits that needed to change.

But his social anxiety and low self esteem were his Achilles' heel. These were within the cards of the hand he was dealt, and it was up to him--and him alone--to overcome them. Of course he had support along the way, but ultimately it was his victory.

And one last thing about this story that I feel compelled to comment on is the relationship with Jared. A part of me was disappointed that Connor was so quick to forgive Jared for his transgressions, yet I felt this was spot-on accurate. There is absolutely no way, knowing who Connor is, that he could NOT forgive. And in the end, Connor receives his reward, and it's absolutely beautiful.

This book had me in tears at certain points and doubled over with laughter in other places. The little sister, Melissa, cracked me up. I loved Rebecca, the best friend. Even Jared's roommate Ben was comical. The ending of the story was just perfect, and the epilogue was exactly what I'd hoped it would be.

Although I've categorized Social Skills as a YA read, I think it's a book that would be beneficial and enjoyable to readers of all ages. It's a beautiful story with many important messages, and it's extremely well-written. Five stars is just not nearly enough.

...more

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Mar 04, 2013 Sheri rated it really liked it

Shelves: buddy-read, boyz-luvin-boyz, ya

Self-discovery. Shedding insecurities. Everyman's expectations.

Revealing yourself, finding your voice, and discovering your path is not always easy. It is near impossible when you are not only afraid of what you’ll find, but terrified to begin the search.

Connor

Freshman college student Connor, an introverted musician who's petrified of rejection is locked in a prison of his own skin. Walking a straight line in life, he succumbs to the pressure of his overbearing parents and has never been allow ...more

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Mar 04, 2013 Jen rated it liked it · review of another edition

Recommended to Jen by: Jessica

Shelves: this-is-not-good-for-my-rage, m-m-romance, friends-to-lovers, y-a-lit, buddy-read, flufftasticness, musicians, asshole-mc

This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here.

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Aug 08, 2013 Natasha rated it it was ok

Shelves: boys-who-like-boys, didn-t-finish

I DNF this book maybe about 40% through.
It was well written and actually mildly cute. The author had a good sense of the characters and I felt like that was projected well in the book.
I just had too much anxiety over wanting to punch Jared in the dick.

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Sep 13, 2013 Mare SLiTsReaD Reviews rated it really liked it

Shelves: maleonmale, standalone

4 CONNERIFIC STARS

This is a tale of coming out, coming out of your shell and coming out to the world to be the REAL you.

A slow build on love, on 1st love, on heartbreak, on joy, on pain, on friendship, on self reflection, on family.

Once again Sara Alva spun me in a web of words, of emotions, of FEELINGS.

I HAD SOO MANY FEELINGS READING THIS BOOK!!!

Feelings of sweetness:

description

“Finally Jared brushed his lips- more the touch of breath than body. Ticklish waves passed through Conner’s mouth and hummed all ...more

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Mar 07, 2016 Bev rated it really liked it · review of another edition

Shelves: young-adult, in-the-closet, lgbtq-mm, friends-to-lovers, little-or-no-sex, love-the-one-youre-with, feel-good, audio-book, bad-parenting, asexual-bisexual-demi-pan

photo reviewing_audiobooks_icon_zpsfdtqfy0w.jpg

Nice 4 star coming out/opposites attract YA story featuring painfully shy, socially awkward and introverted violinist Connor who tutors the ubiquitous 'jock in the closet' Jared. Jared was something of a conundrum; confident and found it easy to make friends but obviously completely confused about his feelings for Connor and what that said about his own sexuality...which sometimes meant that he made bad decisions.

Unfortunately there were also several moments when I wanted to smack Jared hard fo ...more

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Feb 11, 2013 Melyna rated it it was amazing

Shelves: audiobook, contemporary

Read February 11 -14 2013 Five stars
Listened to audio book November 7, 2016 - November 15, 2016 Five Stars. The narration is excellent!
This is a lovely story. It is a familiar theme, shy non athletic young man and the more outgoing jock. The similarity ends there. It becomes more and unfolds beautifully.

Connor is an intelligent, gifted violinist, shy to the extreme. He does not make friends easily. He meets Jared while tutoring for the athletics department. Jared is not exactly the stereotype jo ...more

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Jan 22, 2013 Camille Adams rated it liked it

Shelves: m-m-rom-erotica, new-adult-romance

3.5

American school caste systems are beyond me and (from what I've read of them) I find them, to say the very least, fairly ridiculous; that, plus my aversion to the nerd low self-esteem, jock lordly character trope may not have rendered me the best reader of this book.

Notwithstanding, among the books I have read that make use of this plot, this one does well for itself and has more to offer.

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Oct 31, 2013 Isabel rated it really liked it

Shelves: musicians, ya, erotica, m-m

I know that this story is not new, college gay boy meets college football player in the closet... but I still love this book!

Connor is so shy, so lonely and so sweet, that I wanted to enter inside the book and hug him, comfort him and tell him that he was not alone! Fortunately Rebecca did that job pretty good! The music that he plays with his violin is beautiful...

photo the-violin-man-peter-black_zpsa5f75e3b.jpg

And then he meets Jared, beautiful football player in the closet! I must say that Jared also hurt me when he hurted Connor, but he ...more

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Apr 06, 2015 Therese rated it it was ok

Shelves: mm-college_university_high-school, mm-romance

This was not for me, since unfortunately I really, really disliked Jared throughout the book. I just kept wishing the story was actually about Connor getting out of his shell and living a promiscuous campus life, instead of getting stuck with Jared the asshole. (view spoiler) ...more

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Nov 11, 2018 Ricardo rated it liked it

2 1/2 stars

This was okay and it had all the elements expected in this kind of story:

The ubershy closeted nerd
The uberhot closeted jock with a fake girlfriend
The jock friends of the closeted jock, some who are homophobic and some who seem homophobic but are simply not knowledgeable enough about gay people and turn out to be nice
The really cool friends of the closeted nerd
The big reveal and coming out

Unfortunately, aside from ticking off all the elements, I didn’t really like the main character. I ...more

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May 14, 2013 Elizabetta rated it liked it

Shelves: rev-4-love, celeb-actor-musician-rocker-model

(originally reviewed 5/5/13; updated 1/19/15)

The title is really apt in this sweet, gently-moving, coming-of-age story. Connor is a freshman in college and feeling the strain of being a painfully shy and socially awkward kind of guy. He needs some “social skills,” and fast. He longs for friends yet finds it difficult to connect with his fellow students, he’s tongue-tied and unsure. One thing Connor is sure of...he loves music. He can communicate through his violin and playing it soothes his inne
(originally reviewed 5/5/13; updated 1/19/15)

The title is really apt in this sweet, gently-moving, coming-of-age story. Connor is a freshman in college and feeling the strain of being a painfully shy and socially awkward kind of guy. He needs some “social skills,” and fast. He longs for friends yet finds it difficult to connect with his fellow students, he’s tongue-tied and unsure. One thing Connor is sure of...he loves music. He can communicate through his violin and playing it soothes his inner conflicts. It’s not easy for him, overcoming the shyness, and he takes refuge in his music and studying for classes. The author does a good job at capturing this complicated character.

Connor requires patience from the reader. He is so given to self doubt and anxiety and seems lost in it. You just want him to get a grip, take a leap. We get a lot of his inner dialogue and are witness to every bit of his insecurity. It’s clear that he isn’t close to his parents, they don’t understand him; and his mother, especially, is overbearing. Could this be the root of his insecurities or is he really just a very sensitive soul? (Connor’s thirteen-year-old sister, Melissa, is well captured and a fun secondary character. She’s smart and bratty and ultimately comes through for her brother when he needs it most.)

It isn’t until Jared, hunky footballer and fellow student, enters the picture that Connor starts to break out of his shell. They share a class together and Connor agrees to tutor him. Jared is the polar opposite of Connor: a jock, extroverted and out-going, with lots of friends. But he too, is trying to figure out who he is and what he wants. He also “gets” Connor and is protective of him. What I like is that he’s not perfect -- he gets frustrated with Connor’s insecurities and pushes him to face and articulate what he wants. It’s unfortunate that at times Jared can come across as a bit cavalier in his treatment of Connor. But, we have to remember that these guys are only eighteen years old and Jared is not a knight in white armor, he’s not perfect... he’s real.

I especially like all the classical music references. Connor is a talented violinist and these details add to his character and enrich the story. We see him immerse himself in his music, we see how it helps him cope:

“He took out his violin and set some sheet music on his miserably bent wire stand... Then, with only a deep breath to bolster him, he launched into the first thing he could think of—the solo from Scheherazade. It was a haunting melody, wistful and yearning, yet with a touch of hopefulness to it at the same time. The room and the tension slipped away as he drew the bow across the strings, his fingers vibrating with emotion—a simple task given what kinship he felt with the piece. It was so easy in this space to express himself, to make perfectly clear who he was and what he wanted from life. If only it were possible to speak with these notes in the real world.”

This book is perfect for readers who like a gently paced romance where you get a full arc of character growth in a well-developed world. Connor and Jared make an incredible journey of self-discovery together. I have read one other book by Alva, a novella. “Social Skills” shows more depth, partly due to its length, but mainly in that it displays the author’s talent for portraying young characters in real situations. While I felt the story could have benefitted by some tightening in pacing, I did enjoy it and will definitely be checking out more of Alva’s work.

A copy of this book was provided by the publisher/author in exchange for an honest review. ...more

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Jan 23, 2013 Sunne rated it liked it

It happens more and more to me...I don't know how to rate the book.

Why? Because on one hand Connor is so adorable shy and socially challenged that I want to be his friend and take him out and show him the world (and I want to bitchslap his controling mother). And he has great friends who exactly do this, I especially like Tate. So - yes, this is great and it's good to read.

But? Jared....I disliked him through nearly the whole book. I know from the beginning that he was hiding everything that con It happens more and more to me...I don't know how to rate the book.

Why? Because on one hand Connor is so adorable shy and socially challenged that I want to be his friend and take him out and show him the world (and I want to bitchslap his controling mother). And he has great friends who exactly do this, I especially like Tate. So - yes, this is great and it's good to read.

But? Jared....I disliked him through nearly the whole book. I know from the beginning that he was hiding everything that connected him to Connor. And lived his life like he didn't have a boyfriend. Well, he never said Connor was his...for him it was supposed to be just casual sex, squeezed in for two hours a week. He never had more time between all his own social life and football? But he knew how fragile Conner was, how insecure. Despite that he never really stood up to him until everything came out. Connor never came first, for example he dragged that insecure boy to a party and left him there to bring his "former" girlfriend home.

Now...one could argue that Jared himself was frightened. And I would agree, especially some events later in the book make that clear. And these are both still teenagers.
Still - I would have wanted for him to at least acknowlegde how difficult it was for Connor and to show a bit more solidarity towards Connor.

And even in the end, when shit had hit the fan...and it still wasn't Jared's own decision to come out, he uses Connor more as a refuge than a partner.

So - it's difficult to say what you think of a book when you dislike one of the main characters and love the other.

Maybe I can say that I wish the author had given us more insight in Jared's emotions. If this book had been written from his POV - maybe I would have felt with him, suffered with him....but I just can't find it in me because it took a long while until he became more than a merely nice enough but superficial fuck buddy to Connor.

For the book itself I would have given 4 stars - for the problem that I really still dislike Jared (yeah, not even the end the author could convince me that Jared is the right guy for Connor) - sorry one star less. ...more

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Feb 26, 2013 Don Bradshaw rated it really liked it

Shelves: artists, coming-out, family-drama, friends-to-lovers, opposites, college-guys, romance

Reviewed on Hearts On Fire... http://heartsonfirereviews.com/

Connor is shy, gifted violinist stuck with an over bearing mother and a spineless father. Social interaction doesn't come easily to Connor and college is really throwing him for a loop. Classes are a breeze but now he is forced to interact with people. Rebecca is his partner in orchestra and begins on a quest to break Connor out of his shell. In the mean time, Connor meets Jared who just may hold the key to Connor's prison. The probl ...more

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Apr 29, 2016 SoCalBookReviews rated it really liked it · review of another edition

Shelves: audio-owned

I love this book. I think I've read it a handful of times now. Its a super sweet story. Conner is an Orchestra Violin Player who is super shy, geeky and awkward when it comes to talking to people and having friends. Jared is a football player who needs Conner's help being tutored at school. Their "relationship" forms, and Jared is able to help Connor overcome some of his fears of communicating with others, and helps Connor "Spread his Wings". Sometimes Jared really makes me angry with the way he ...more

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May 04, 2012 Anyta Sunday added it

4.5

Social Skills is a wonderful story (I was lucky enough to be a beta reader for this). Conner struggles to identify himself in Social circles, and it's something I think many of us can relate to, even if only in part.

I really like how much Ms. Alva show Connor's insecurities but also his desires--both in terms of Jared, but also with how he slowly gets more confident being around others.

Nice read, and I love the musical element to it.

One thing though, I don't remember it being as long as it ...more

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About Sara Alva

Sara Alva

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Sara Alva is a former small-town girl currently living in big-city LA with a husband, two cats, and an avocado tree. She recently discovered— after a year in her house— that she also has a fig tree in her backyard, which might mean she needs to get out more. But sometimes the stories waiting to be told demand more attention, and when she puts fingers to keyboard, it’s usually to write about journe ...more